Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@Hopefulbride18 not sure if it helps but I was set to get the medical management but starting bleeding the morning I went in for the appointment so when I spoke to the Dr in EPU I decided I would wait it out and see whether it passed naturally as it seemed like my body was doing it anyway. They booked for me to come in tomorrow for a scan (it was 2 weeks ago) so they could see if it was all passed. I had about 3 or 4 days of heavy bleeding, passed the main clots and tissue in a couple of hours on the Tuesday and to be honest didn't even need painkillers but it really does depend on your situation. I was really panicking about it being painful too and it was no more than a normal period for me but I know for some it can be agony. Hope that helps! I stopped bleeding completely a week ago today (no spotting or anything) so am hoping when I go back tomorrow they'll give me the all clear because my pregnancy test was negative too. I hope you get some answers soon it's a sucky situation to be in but this forum is super supportive and helpful 🤞

@IVFWarrior40 oh no I see, what an agonising wait you still have ahead. I think this is the worst thing about the whole process, looking through the thread the whole experience can go on for so long which is just awful. It's so confusing too like you say I'm not sure what the rule is with the size. When a nurse called me back this morning she said I might be too far along to have the surgical management under a local but if I wanted to go ahead a doctor would discuss with me.

@kiwi17 I'm so glad you've said this. I hope you are recovering okay. I really hope I have a similar experience. The bleeding is now coming in small spurts with some clots here and there I'm hopeful it will progress and I can try and get this out at home. The EPU are also prescribing some stronger painkillers so I will feel happier knowing I have those in the house if I need them.

Well here goes I guess...hoped I wouldn't be writing this but here I am. I was 6 weeks pregnant on Saturday. On Sunday when I went to the toilet I started bleeding, it was red and I just knew it wasn't okay. Midwife said as it was only when I went to the toilet to leave it but and see how it went but I just knew things weren't okay. Went to the hospital, had to sit by myself in a and e and then had a pelvic exam and internal scan. Couldn't see anything on the scan, but the Doctor said it was possibly too early and that he didn't see a lot of blood and it seemed brown to him. Admittedly on a pad there wasn't a lot of blood but everytime I went to the toilet there just seemed to be so much. Anyways had a repeat blood test on Tuesday, hcg levels had pretty much halved. That's all the women on the phone really said. And that I would need to go in again tomorrow to do another bloodiest. She didn't even tell me what this drop in hcg meant, I mean I already knew that this means I have lost the baby but it would have felt better having this discussed with me. I still haven't had lots of bleeding other than mainly when I go to the toilet, does this mean the worse is still to come or could this just be how my body is dealing with it? I'm not at work today but I do plan on returning tomorrow, if I'm honest I just want some normality back. Sitting around waiting for more blood is depressing. Right now I just want this part over with so that I can then deal with my emotions. Any advice Right now would be amazing. Thanks in advance.

@Pepperony87 sorry you find yourself here. From the other ladies I think everyone is different but it sounds like it hasn't really started yet.
The wait is torture the only advice I can offer is to be kind to yourself and to take it easy.
Yes you are right in that HCG levels should be increasing.

They will probably want to do another scan in EPU once you've had more bloods done.
It's a case of do what you feel up to if that means speaking to your GP and being signed off or working it's completely up to you there is no right or wrong in that.

For now it's comfy pj's, distractions and some TLC.

So sorry @Pepperony87 take care of yourself xx

Hello all, I’m so glad I have come across this thread. I was wondering if any one could help me. I had a miscarriage September 2020, I had a missed miscarriage so didn’t find out until the 12 week scan that baby had died at 9 weeks. Still find it quite hard at times to come to terms with. Feel like I failed, I really want to fall pregnant again but I am scared too too. Anyway rambled a little bit there sorry. Basically my periods have been a bit irregular since, so many hey come eventually but sometimes my cycles 42days has anyone else had this? And they start with abit of brown discharge a few days before they actually appear properly. I’m just worrying somethings wrong with me. Thanks In advance x soph x

@Nashsophie13 your definitely not a failure miscarriage is cruel and mostly completely random but it doesn't stop it hurting. It's also completely understandable to be scared at the thought of pregnancy. Unfortunately with miscarriage it then takes away that blissful ignorance level if pregnant and not had a miscarriage.

I have found counselling has helped me I also had a MMC found out at 14 weeks it might be something you want to investigate. It's coming up to 3 months for me the counselling has definitely helped me process it better. Some days are easier than others and I still have triggers.

I've only had 2 periods so far and they have been all over the place. Last one was only 3 days.

I did used to have a sporadic cycle before I had my son ranging from 30-42 days. It's always worth getting a GP appointment to talk through just to check.

Nashsophie13 I’m sorry for what you have been through, and the struggles you are still having. I’m still relatively early on in the journey, but already feel some degree of anxiety when I think about trying again. As Scottishskifun says, it might be worth both looking into some counselling and having a chat to your GP if you are concerned about your period. Most importantly, though, you are not a failure. Your miscarriage was completely outside of your control, and all of the physical and psychological effects are too, so try not to feel like you have done anything wrong.

Pepperony87 I am sorry you are going through this. Take good care of yourself.

@Scottishskifun thank you so much lovely it’s defiantly something to consider. I’m sorry to hear your going through it too. I hope your ok. It’s amazing how much just speaking on here helps. Family & friends are great but no one really understands unless it’s happened to them I don’t think xx

@Miscarriage39 thank you lovely, I’m sorry to hear your feeling this way. It’s completely understandable. It’s a tough journey but it’s a journey you will get through. I do find this thread to be a big help mentally just feeling like your being heard in a way. Hope you feel better soon x

Hi @Pepperony87 very sorry you've found yourself here. My MC was similar, it stopped growing at six weeks but didn't start bleeding until 8. For me it started like you describe but it got much heavier and was painful. It wasn't unmanageable but definitely considerably worse than "just a heavy period". When mine started I did do some reading to try and prepare myself for what to expect and I can say that my experience was neither the best case nor the worst case that I read about. It seems it varies a lot but please feel free to stay in touch on here and if you have any questions I'm happy to share my experience.

Sorry @Nashsophie13 also that you've had to join us. I feel the same as you, eager to get pregnant again but also afraid of whether I will be able to and super scared of another MC. I'm going through a bit of a down phase emotionally so I feel I can relate to your worries... I'm worrying something is wrong with me too. This is such a rough journey.

Thanks @Hopefulbride18 @kiwi17 @Miscarriage39 for your words of support. Just can't seem to get out of this negative feeling.

Hello, everyone. Just thought I'd do a quick update after my D&C last week.

I still had bleeding after the D&C - similar to a period, but with no let up. Then yesterday I went for a wee and passed the biggest clot I've seen to date. It was the size of a large plum. No idea what it was or how it was left behind after the D&C, but since that's now gone, the bleeding has tailed off entirely. I also did a pregnancy test this evening and it's now showing negative so hoping that everything has now left my system.

I had my nutritionist appointment on Monday which was really good. I have some more supplements to add into the mix. And I had my referral today come through the post for the recurrent miscarriage clinic so I have an appointment on 17th May which is good.

I feel pretty ok. This miscarriage has definitely been easier than the one last summer. I think because everything was so dodgy from the outset that it was much less of a shock, whereas the MMC last time was so hard as we'd had two perfectly normal scans.

Now waiting to be able to get my blood tests done by the GP and to book some acupuncture for good measure too.

@Hopefulbride18 I'm so sorry for your loss. I found out about my MMC at 9 weeks and its truly heartbreaking. I also opted for medical management and then it happened naturally the day before my appointment. I'm happy to share my experience if you have any questions.

@Pepperony87 I'm really sorry you've found yourself here.

@treesall I hope you're doing as okay as you can be. Being in that limbo of knowing something is wrong and having no control is so difficult and I'm sorry your scan hasn't made things clearer for you.

@AlbiMix I understand how you're feeling lovely. For the most part I'm trying to be positive and kind of succeeding and then I have days where it all feels pointless. Desperate to try again and terrified something will go wrong. I'm almost a month after my mc and I haven't had my period backnyet. My pain with the mc was absolutely awful but the bleeding wasn't too bad, I think because I'd been spotting for so long beforehand. I'm so worried that this period is going to be a beast to make up for it and be really triggering. And I know its coming because I've got the sore nipples I always get after ovulating!
Do you think you'll try again soon or do you need more time?

@DappledOliveGroves I'm glad you're feeling okay. Good that you've got your negative test and your referral. As hard as I've found my mmc emotionally I also know what you mean about it being somewhat easier because I just knew something wasn't right from the start. How do you feel now that somethings happening with the recurrent mc clinic?

Hey @AlbiMix I’m sorry to hear your going through the same. It’s a tricky journey isn’t it. Some days good some days horrible. I hope your ok, and if you need to talk about it we’re here for you. For me I know it happened for a reason but it does seem cruel that so many of us have to experience it, sending love xx

@Madeoftea it's a weird thing to wish on someone but I hope af comes promptly for you and it's not a beast 🤞 I'm feeling really nervous and anxious this morning.. got my second scan this afternoon and even though realistically I don't think there is anything left/wrong as I've stopped bleeding and had no more pain etc I'm still anxious about going back into the EPU and dragging all the memories back up again :( I'm sure it'll be fine but can't shake the nerves.. On the 'plus' (?!) Side my pregnancy test was completely negative this morning but the opk continues to be negative which is frustrating.. wonder if they'll be able to see anything ovulation wise on the scan. Welcome to the new posters who have joined- I'm sorry you've had to join but these ladies are all the best at giving advice:)

@kiwi17 I hope your scan goes well this afternoon, I'm sure it will be fine especially because you've tested negative. I felt the same going in for mine though, I was convinced it wasn't over and as lovely as the nurses were I didn't want to see them ever again. Let us know how it goes ♥️

@DappledOliveGroves that sounds positive that you've now stopped bleeding, it's always a relief when you get through a certain stage in the process.

Thanks @Madeoftea , I'm a couple of weeks ahead of you I think, just finished my period a few days back. It was heavy in terms of bleeding but strangely the pain was less than my normal periods. I am trying again, not in any extreme way (like not DTD every day or anything!) but just not using protection when we do, that's how we conceived the first time. I've read you might be more fertile immediately post MC which is why I want to try again. I'm using opks out of curiosity, and haven't had a positive so far but my CM is getting stretchier. The thing I'm worried about is my boobs have been completely 'soft', sorry for TMI, normally I get some tenderness at some point in the cycle and I've had nothing, so am worried I might have some kind of hormonal issue...sorry for all this info you probably don't want 😂

@Nashsophie13 thanks lovely, I'm just in a bit of a rut emotionally. Hope you're doing ok today.

@AlbiMix of course that’s only naturally your going to be like that some days. I have everything crossed for you babe x

Hello ladies- so update from me! Second scan went as well as I hoped today. The positive being the EPU has moved back upstairs to where it should be so I didn't have to sit amongst loads of pregnant happy people! The scan was all clear she said everything has gone and the womb is basically shrunk back to what it should be so that's positive too. I asked if she could see ovulation on the scan and she said there was a follicle on the right ovary but wasn't sure if it was a new one or left over from a previous cycle. One thing the nurse said after was that you are super fertile after mc and to use protection until first period because the body needs to recover and the lining of the womb has to build back up. I asked if you run a higher risk of mc again if you get pregnant straight away before the first period and she said which has now made me think more about trying this cycle and now my heads everywhere!! Argh. Anyway - hope every one else is doing ok today. Definitely need a glass of wine tonight!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice this is so useful already! No real update from me, I'm still waiting I have occasional spurts of bleeding and cramping but then it stops again. I've decided I will go ahead and book the surgical management for when I can. Then hope it happens naturally before but at least I'll know a date when something will definitely happen. @Madeoftea it's good to hear that happened for you.

@Nashsophie13 I don't know if this is helpful but I was having that before I conceived this time. I concieved easy but then obviously had a missed miscarriage exactly the same as yours. I can imagine you're incredibly scared, my heart goes out to you. I know the thought of trying again scares me.

Congratulations @DappledOliveGroves on your negative test, who would ever of thought we'd be hoping for that. Anyway it's so good to see some of you finally moving on to try and conceive again after the long process of miscarriage. Gives me hope that they'll be a day when all this is over x

Congratulations on your scan @kiwi17! Enjoy that glass of wine x

@kiwi17 good about your scan. FFS! The amount of threads I've read lately snd there's so much mixed advice! It's shocking that different people get different advice across NHS!! I was told no issues in TTC before the first period!!!! If there's an increased risk of MC then this should be discussed across NHS and a position taken to advise of this and advise against ttc before first cycle. EPU and my gp both told me no issues and was fine to.

@Justwanttobeamum it's so random isn't it?! Like I've heard both sides now and it makes no sense. Miscarriage association says there is no medical risk so I think we're going to carry on ttc. Definitely agree though there needs to be some kind of consistency as we can't be the only women after mc who are keen to ttc.

I’m going to jump on and join you all, unfortunately. Just going through my second consecutive miscarriage and due to have surgical management of it tomorrow. To be honest I will be quite glad to have it all over with and to be able to start moving forward, but it does seem to have quite a finality to it all. I’ve been attached to this pregnancy for 11 weeks and now it’s suddenly gone. Miscarriage is so horrible.

It’s so nice to read people on the other end of it all now though. I’d like to fast forward a few weeks and be there myself, but seeing other people get there is the next best thing.

Welcome @PolarBear63 although I'm sorry you've had to join us. :( hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you and that you have lots of treats, painkillers and comfy pjs at the ready- we are all here for you to chat to or rant at when you need to :)