Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@Scottishskifun honestly, 6 weeks is nothing! We are all still so early on in our journies. This is going to be so hard for all of us for a very long time 💔 she is totally right about you being hard on yourself. I think we all do it because there is no textbook that tells us how we should or shouldn't feel and by when. One day at a time has never been more relevant xx

@Applecrumble24 interesting. Hopefully you'll hear soon then. I'm sorry you're in limbo with that xx

@Applecrumble24 I had my treatment privately so don't know if that makes a difference as I saw my consultant regularly post surgery (at 1week, 2weeks, 4weeks, 6weeks and tomorrow will be 10weeks) so she gave me the results on my second post op consultation.

Anyone else really struggling with pregnancy announcements everywhere?! Keep seeing announcements for pregnancies due in August which is when I would have been due ☹️ And we would have probably just announced x

@MeganChar1 yes I have paused a few friends on Facebook to avoid it (you can click and hide them from feeds).
It's completely normal that it hurts because it's a reminder of what has been taken away from us.

One friend I actually check in on her to how her scan has gone but she had 3 miscarriages in 15 months and so much heartache. She is fantastic and completely understanding of all the feelings. I am so happy for her. She actually took things into her own hands and took baby aspirin despite not being prescribed and it seems to be working.

@MeganChar1 definitely!! At least we have this as a safe place. The reason I created these threads here and not on a TTC forum was to protect us all from pregnancy announcements xx

@Scottishskifun I did actually buy baby aspirin but haven't taken it. I think if I have another loss I'll consider it

@Badlydrawngirly I've googled dr shehata he sounds amazing! Surely if anyone can give you answers, he's your man!

@plantmummy87 I'm just taking pregnacare pregnancy vitamins (which have recommended daily dose of folic acid and vitamin D). I've also started having Linwoods cold milled seeds in my morning smoothie/porridge/banana omelette (trust me, delicious!). Not so much for pregnancy but general nutrition although turns out they can be good for pregnancy too and high in omega 3.

@Scottishskifun that sounds like a really positive first session. I hope they continue to be positive for you. I've had counselling in the past and have found the strategies really helpful after MC.

@MeganChar1 yes, it’s so difficult. I posted in one of the last threads about scan photos being shared on WhatsApp .

Also I think it’s a big trigger when someone announces their pregnancy which would have been a similar time to your own. I would have been due early September with 12 weeks scan now so I fear the announcements close to mine are coming. Maybe taking a step away from social media might help. Muting people also . Xx

I saw this and it made me smile. Just one lucky egg and one lucky sperm is all we need 🤞🏼

@MeganChar1 yes I'm the same as you would have been due in August and seen 2 announcements already and feeling sad that it should have been me too. I suppose we don't always know what those couples have been through before their announcements and they could have gone through this in the past.

It's been 2 weeks since my D&C and today hardly any spotting so little that I've not had to change a pad(sorry TMI) and the tiny bit I had was a very light brown. Can I DTD? Or should I still wait a bit longer. I've done pregnancy test today and the line is soooooo faint but I assume still some levels of HCG there and done ovulation test which has 2 strong lines but it is highly likely this is just picking up HCG rather than me actually ovulating. Anyone else nervous before DTD again after a D&C?

@glowingtwig I like that photo? Although it makes it look so easy 😊

@wag1987 I was July due date so already had quite a few!
I waited until I had gone 2 days without any spotting. If there is any spotting the risk of infection can be high. So I would wait 24/48hours with nothing. Then you should be okay x

Hi Ladies, I hope everyone is doing okay. Sorry I haven’t messaged work has been crazy, I’m catching up on messages. Thanks for the tag @AMS19. I‘ve everything crossed for you now over your TWW. I am slowly getting into the rhythm of temping haha, who knew something so simple would challenge me. I’ve had one or two mornings where I’ve completely forgotten. I’m CD10 so starting to track ovulation now too. If it’s anything like last month they will be all over the shop so I’m counting on my temps. 🤞

Welcome to the new ladies, as the others have said, it’s heartbreaking that you’ve had to join us but I can honestly say that this thread is by far the friendliest and most comforting when you’re having a massively shit day! So, you’re in the right place. Having read some your stories I actually consider myself lucky that my mc was straight forward. Sending love to you all.

Having read through the messages seeing what everyone is taken supplement wise, as well as the general recommended vitamins I’ve been taking the coQ10 ones that Luisa Zussman suggests - and from what I can see it’s not the “active” version? I daren’t Dr Google it as I know I’ll obsess for hours. Should I change?

I don’t know about anyone else, but Megan Markles announcement stung me, as I would have been due July. I’ve made a conscious effort to try not to track “how many weeks would I have been...” although, on the flip side, a so far successful pregnancy after miscarriage so even more reason to hope!! Xxx

Hi @Summersun001 I feel you with work! It's absolutely killing me too. I have another week that's crazy then it should calm down. At least its distracting from TTC.

Ubiquinol is definitely a better version of the non active CoQ10 but it enough to change what you already have. Just means slightly less of yours will be absorbed. I would definitely stick with what you've got but consider switching up when you run out.

I actually didn't mind Megan's annocement. I don't like her but liked how she put out about her miscarriage so I'm rooting her on this time! Feels different when it's one of the club xx

@PlantMummy87 oh it was you!! Awesome, I love your rainbow 🌈 very healing and good vibes for the future. I just love when Im
Crocheting or stitching or drawing , my mind is not thinking about anything, its like you get to have a break from reality. I just made a felt llama 🦙

@Scottishskifun good on you for going to a councillor, i’m really glad its helped you! I asked my GP for a recommendation on a grief councillor, as I think I would like to talk to someone too.

I also just booked in for an initial fertility acupuncture appointment for next week, maybe she will be able to help me choose what supplements I should go on, and just have a holistic perspective on things.

Just wondering out of interest if there’s others who are waiting a bit before ttc again? We decided to wait for a few reasons. Part of me wants to be pregnant again straight away but my rational brain knows it’s right to wait 6 months or so x

@MeganChar1 we are waiting a while yes. I need to get a smear test which I have to wait 12 weeks for and also need to be in a better place with the trauma and sleep issues.

I think you do what's best for you and your circumstances and everyone is different. For me I need to be in a good place mentally for my toddler (I'm currently suffering huge mum guilt with him as he picks up on me being tired and sad and says mummy sad which breaks my heart).
I know if I got pregnant without being in a better place it would be high anxiety and potential to lead to pre natal or post natal depression. But that's just me and my particular circumstances.

Only you know when you're ready, for some it's getting back into TTC for others it waiting - it's just whats best for you.

@MeganChar1 I completely agree with @scottishskifun it's such a personal choice. I know a few ladies on here are waiting. We've jumped straight back in but I have no idea how ill cope with the anxiety of a new pregnancy if/when it happens. I suspect if we miscarry again we might wait a bit next time. There is definitely no right or wrong answer, and you might find you change your mind along the way, which is also fine x

Thanks @AMS19

We aren’t trying but not preventing for a few cycles . Just going to try and take a relaxed approach ......

@AMS19 @Scottishskifun I know it’s definitely the right choice to wait but part of me just really wants to be pregnant again. We are moving house soon which would be awful if I was feeling ill with early pregnancy, also we are going to Mexico in January next year and I want to time it to guarantee I won’t be heavily pregnant when we go. Also I need to get my thyroid levels sorted out to reduce risk of miscarrying again. Even though we are waiting I’m already worrying about having another missed miscarriage and finding out there’s no heartbeat at the scan. I’m hoping that when we try again rules will be relaxed and my partner can attend the 12 week scan as he couldn’t before and it really was horrific finding out at the scan when he wasn’t there x

Hi, I hope you don't mind me posting,
I have found myself coming across this forum a few times in the last week and reading about everyones experiences and it has helped me process whats been going on with me so I just felt that I kinda wanted to write down and share my experience and feelings. - apologies if its too much info!!

Its been just over a week since our 12 week scan where me and the hubby found out I was having a miscarriage. We had to wait a week to see if anything happened naturally but as it didn’t I decided at my appointment on Tuesday this week to give medical management a go.

I had my first tablet there and then and am due to take the last 4 tomorrow morning. I have had really heavy bleeding and clotting for about 30-60mins this evening (no bad cramping but I did pass a very large clot at one point that felt like the size of a ping pong ball!!!) - so im kinda hoping my body has done what it needs to do without me having to take the 4 tablets tomorrow but I dont know if thats wishful thinking?... (either way in gonna speak to the clinic in the morning before i take them).

So thats where I am up to at the minute but I am now starting to think about what happens after all this. I have realised I am very scared and anxious now about becoming pregnant again. Im worried that I wont ever feel prepared for it. We got pregnant quicker then we were anticipating so I didn't have a chance to think much about it but after going through this heartache its all I can do is think and worry about what may happen if/when I get pregnant again!

@ralala 😂 That's how we have conceived....twice so would be our version of TTC. When I stopped trying to figure out ovulation dates is when I got pregnant with my DS for us the more relaxed approach worked.

@MeganChar1 just take it as it comes if you find yourself counting down then it might be worth re-examining just take it as it comes. You might want to do some research for your holiday though as zika virus is still prevalent in certain South and central American countries and its not advised to travel to risk areas if pregnant or wishing to get pregnant. I had a work trip to Brazil cancelled as I was 16 weeks with my son for the zika reason a few years ago. Not sure what it's like now as the only information about viruses now is all about covid!

@JAM27 sorry you've had to join we are a friendly bunch and have found it great support.
You are right in the thick of it and it's a roller-coaster of emotions. I would say just be kind to you, Fluffy pj's, a hot water bottle, cuddles from your DH, Netflix etc.

Take it easy and day by day. They don't really prewarn you about the emotional strains of it all. Speak to your GP as well and don't put pressure on yourself.

Many women have single miscarriages and then go on for successful pregnancies but focus on looking after yourself first and foremost at the moment there is no rush.