Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@Fayezp1210 yesh Christmas was so challenging. None of my family knew so had to put on a brave face over zoom (thank god we were in tier 4 so didn't see anyone F2F!). Then had my MVA NYE.
As I say, it does get easier. Not easy, but easier. Time is definitely a healer, like with other forms of grief. I've spent ages think what I could have done differently but now hoping it was just bad luck and next time will be different. Not sure scans will give me much comfort next time without having them weekly!

@AMS19 Oh god yeah, I’m glad we can’t really see anyone here either, I am not very good at putting on a brave face!

Yeah I’m hoping it was just a case of bad luck too! Hopefully we will have our Rainbow Babies, although I’m not sure what I want to do just yet. I’m hoping I will know when I feel ready to try again!

I’ve just been reading your other thread, it’s really lifted my mood reading some of the positive stories on there 💕

My Partner and I have said we won’t have any early scans next time, I don’t want any false hope what so ever! X

@Fayezp1210 no rush to decide on next steps. We have a real mix on this threads of ladies not thinking they will try again, some unsure, some waiting for a period or two and some jumped straight back in. It's 100% an individual choice and not one to make now either way. For me, I'm 33 with no children so have decided to jump straight back in and pray with everything I have it won't happen again 🙏 xx

@AMS19 I do want to try again it’s just a case of when. I’ve heard many women conceive quite quickly after MC and go on to have healthy babies so there’s that but then I think I’ll always worry and panic now that it’s going to happen again. I think I’ll have to be strong and think of positive thoughts all the time.

I admire you for that! That must take a lot of strength and courage! 💕

@Fayezp1210 I’m sorry you’ve had to join this thread. It really is awful 😰 like you I had a couple of early scans and saw a lovely little heartbeat so was lulled into a false sense of security until I started bleeding at 10 weeks and found out I had a MMC. I’m so glad your partner is being so supportive, it’s so important to have that right now. I think it’s natural to be worried once you’ve had a miscarriage - it takes away all that lovely naivety that you had before!! I had my rainbow bubba after a miscarriage in 2018 and I was very anxious until I got to the point where I could feel him kick. I didn’t tell any friends until I was 14/15 weeks and kept checking for blood every time I went to the toilet BUT everything was ok and I just think this was meant to be my baby ❤️ I had a friend who suffered 6 miscarriages and she told me that while it was absolutely horrendous at the time she wouldn’t change a thing as the children she has now were meant to be and she wouldn’t have had them without her miscarriages. So just think there is light at the end of the tunnel ❤️ Xx

Think my bleeding has stopped. Practically nothing yesterday and today I went without a pad whoop whoop!! It felt so good to not have to wear one 🎉🎉🙌🏻 So I feel like that’s one hurdle down - will test hcg tomorrow and hoping for a lighter strip. Celebrating the “small wins” like you lovely ladies suggested! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour that's absolutely fab news!! Definitely another hurdle passed and all moving in the right direction. Good luck with the tests. Whatever the line its great to have a starting point to work from and see progression down xx

I’m finding it interesting reading what you guys are thinking about early scans. I can’t work out whether I would go crazy and want to be scanned weekly or pretend it’s not happening at all and just wait for the 12 week scan!? 🤷‍♀️ I think most of you are thinking you will hold off this time? Xx

@AMS19 thanks lovely!! 😘

I'm the opposite I would book a scan for 10 weeks if I get pregnant again and I didn't have a private scan. Finding out that I had spent 5 weeks not knowing that the baby had died getting past 12 weeks even though my scan was at 14 weeks I found has really broken me. I thought I was safe and still had strong symptoms.

@SuzieDeLaTour @Scottishskifun I would have a scan at 7.5 weeks and 10 weeks for sure. But just wouldn't get much comfort from them. My reassurance would last a day and then be gone given I likely lost the baby a day or two after my middle scan.
The ideal would be to fall pregnant and not know and find out at 12 weeks 😂 the dream!

@SuzieDeLaTour Thank you, I’m sorry that you have experienced this too.
It is such a shame that our future experiences are riddled with anxiety now!

I’m so glad for my Partner too, he’s really looked after me since this happened, I forget that it must be really hard for him too.

After reading everyone’s experiences and positive ones too, it is making me feel a little better and that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

With regards to the scans, I said to my Partner next time I really don’t want any early ones at all. It really did shatter me last week! I think it would of shattered me anyway but it felt doubly cruel because of those early scans! Xx

@Jam291 I was 8 weeks if that helps.

Ohhhh I have no idea what we would do about scans. I just know I will be soooo anxious and we won’t be telling anyone! I would also be waiting until after 8 weeks to phone the midwife.

My bleeding seems to have eased a lot today . I’m counting my first day of bleeding as cd 1 although I expect this won’t be a normal cycle.... it just seems easier to count that as day 1. We haven’t even spoken about trying again or even thought about having sex. I’m still absolutely not there yet. I’m sure it will come xxxx

@SuzieDeLaTour amazing about your bleeding!!! Mini hurdle win 💪🏽.

We want to try again. But issues being partners son has moved in, teenager, and on lockdown from college and furloughed so no chance of us getting alone time in such a small house! 😅

As for scans, unless I could be scanned everyday I don’t think it would reassure me. My EPU was great with my MMC and said if I got pregnant again to skip the GP and ring them direct and they would scan me for reassurance! 💞. But with that pregnancy I didn’t bother and waited for the NHS scan....
This one I had spotting that’s lead to an early scan, saw heartbeat, still lost baby. With my MMC I had two early scans, heartbeat on both to find out on 12 week scan.
So really nothing would reassure me.

I still need to cancel midwife....🙁😮 xxx

@Jam291 my EPU did it for me. Might be worth checking

@Scottishskifun I completely understand where you’re coming from - it seems particularly cruel to think you’ve passed the 12 week mark not knowing at all 😢
@AMS19 oh that would be the DREAM!! I’m right there with you!!! I was thinking if I fell pregnant would I be able to hold off for a few weeks without testing and therefore reduce the number of weeks I go crazy for...probably not!! 😂

@Ralala that’s great news about your bleeding. I feel emotionally a bit better now that mine has stopped (fingers crossed). I’m only 9 days post op so sex hasn’t come on to the radar for us either - well not for me anyway ha! I’m waiting to see how I feel next week. We’ve discussed trying again, I would be keen to try again but DH still unsure so I’ll definitely be waiting for my periods to resume.
@Jam291 thank you!! 😄 that’s tough for you with a teenage stepson in the house. Fingers crossed for some alone / quiet time soon!

@SuzieDeLaTour ha if only I could resist testing. I found out in my when I would have been 3+3, wayyyyyy too early. I would definitely at least week until my period was late next time. I hope....

@AMS19 same! I didn’t even have a pregnancy test so resorted to peeing on an OPK which came up as very positive and immediately made me think “ahhh this might be it!” Waaaaay too keen bean 😄

Morning ladies. BFN on my one step 10mlU this morning. Over the moon. Will test with a FRER Thursday and hope for a negative, if not at very least a squinter on there. Will be 4 weeks post MVA on Thursday. I cant wait to stop testing and be sure there is no leftover tissue 🙏 xx

@AMS19 that's definitely a stark white!! 🥳

After a huge reduction in my line the other day, I was really hoping I'd be at squinter level this morning... Not quite 😩 barely any difference from two days ago. I'm trying to be patient but I'm so desperate to get pregnant again. I've not had any proper bleeding in nearly a week and no spotting in two days so I might just DTD tonight and see how I get on... 🤷🏼‍♀️

@AMS19 oh that’s brilliant news yay!!! So pleased for you 🎉🎉 another “box ticked”! X

@LauraT94 oh I think that looks lighter!! But it seems to take a good few weeks to get to the “squinter” level so don’t be disheartened! I’m the same as you - was feeling better on Sunday when I saw a lighter line then tested again this morning and can barely see any difference!? 🤷‍♀️ Who knew such tiny little strips could cause such anxiety!? X

Fingers crossed for the BFN’s !!! Seems weird to say that but you know what I mean. I have another 2 weeks to wait to test.,.. as EPU said 3 weeks for BFN is their protocol. Seems so far away!

@LauraT94 mine was like that. Felt like it stopped and started and took forever. My fault for starting to test 4 days past MVA 😂😂 i know it feels like forever, it has for me. I did start having sex 2 weeks post my MVA which is the minimum time I was told to wait. So even though I knew it wouldn't be actually doing anything given the positive tests it made me feel like I was working towards the next pregnancy.

@SuzieDeLaTour I am looking forward to getting back to wanting positives again! Somehow that seemed more fun than this has 😏

@Ralala yes very odd wanting a negative so badly. I was told 4 weeks because of how far gone I was so hasn't taken a little longer. But now hopefully looks on track for a 6mlU negative Thursday 🙏