Hey ladies. So as mentioned earlier I just wanted to take the time to share my positive experience with surgical management of a miscarriage with you all to hopefully reassure anyone coming on here and feeling nervous about a future procedure.
I posted a thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4132578-I-think-Im-miscarrying-Looking-for-support-or-to-not-feel-alone-I-guess in the morning on Monday when I started cramping and bleeding heavier than I had previously, so have a read of that first.
After posting that I ate lunch and continued working (WFH) while having cramps that were getting a bit painful but manageable. We finished work and ate dinner, and then my cramps got more painful so we decided to call the EPU about 8pm as we’d been advised to. I initially didn’t want to as it was getting late and I kind of felt like this was it, it was happening, and I’d wait until the pain got worse and go to the EPU in the morning. My husband persuaded me to call though and I’m so glad he did. I spoke to a lovely nurse who spoke to the on-call Dr and she told us to come in for a check up just to be on the safe side. I really wasn’t expecting that but once I hung up I actually felt a sense of relief that we could go and just see what was going on, and that they’d be able to advise us what to do. So we hopped in the car and went to the hospital where I unfortunately had to leave my husband in the car as he wasn’t allowed in ☹ I then was taken into a ward and waited to be seen. I had my BP taken and I was pleased to see that it had gone down from the week before on New Years Day when I first started bleeding and went to A&E and it was super high! I then had to pee in a cardboard thing so they could see how much blood was there. It was a lot ☹ at 10.30pm a lovely Dr came to speak to me who I’d actually seen on NYD. She was so lovely and asked lots of Qs and decided to do an internal examination to see what was going on. I was in quite a bit of pain at this point but it was on and off. Surprisingly my cervix was closed and although she could see blood and a few small clots this meant I was not actively having a miscarriage, it was a threatened miscarriage. I started crying as I just felt so confused and then we chatted for a bit about the molar thing and what was going on. She then said she’d go and check if they should keep me in, take my bloods, or get a scan, and she disappeared.
It was about 11.30pm by this point and I was honestly just feeling so exhausted that I wanted to go home. She then came back and said she’d managed to organize a scan for me but I said I wasn’t sure I wanted one as if it was bad news what could we do that evening? I was worried about having to go home with that knowledge and then come back in. She said she thought it would be a good idea just to see what was going on though, and I then realized it definitely was a good idea and my tiredness was talking for me!! Luckily I was able to call my husband back in to come into the scan room with me which was just such a blessing as we actually then got told that unfortunately there was no heartbeat. It was very difficult news to take in but thankfully we’d prepared ourselves all week for the worst and I felt strangely numb about it. We were more concerned about the possibility of a partial molar and the sonographer said she couldn’t see evidence of a partial molar but that the sonographer who scanned us the week before was much more senior and had actually trained her, so she didn’t want to comment too much. We then had to discuss our options. They explained that surgery was recommended due to the partial molar question and that was the option we would have opted for anyway. They then said they’d get me in for surgery the next day which was just wonderful and we were so grateful. They wanted me to stay in but I just wanted to go home, so they made my husband promise to bring me in straightaway if the bleeding got heavier. The lovely Dr promised to call me before 8am with a time, staying past her night shift so she could be the one to call me bless her, and I wasn’t allowed to have breakfast.
We got home about 1am and we were just exhausted. The cramps were a lot more painful at this point and we potentially should have gone back in but honestly I was just so tired and wanted to be at home. I put a pad on, put a towel on the bed and just tried to get some sleep. I didn’t sleep well at all as the cramps were beyond anything I’ve experienced before and I kept having to change my pad as the bleeding was getting heavier. Eventually I fell asleep and we woke up to a phone call about 7.30am from the lovely Dr who said I was booked in and could I come in as soon as I was ready so they could do my bloods etc. So off we went again, this time knowing that hopefully the 2 awful weeks we’d had were coming to an end, albeit not the one we wanted.
Oh my goodness this is turning into my autobiography, sorry!! Just want to get all the details down for you all. So. We got to the EPU about 8am and my husband was luckily able to drop me off this time rather than wait in his car for 6 hours as we knew it could be a while. I went back into the ward and after a while another lovely Dr came to see me and talk through the operation. She said it would be 15/20 mins and was a fairly straightforward procedure. She talked me through all the potential side effects which was a little scary but had to be done, and she did say I was low risk which helped. She also talked me through the consent forms for both the operation and the disposal of the tissue after it had been tested which was a little upsetting but I was happy with what she told me. Basically the tissue is technically mine but as it was being sent off, the hospital would dispose of it sensitively which I was happy with. Maybe read up a little about this before you go in for your operation to prepare yourself.
I then had a blood test and a Covid test. The Dr said she had a big case that would take 1.5-2 hours and then it’d be my turn, so I was working on 11.30-12pm ish. I wasn’t allowed any water but I told them I was in pain and they said they’d bring painkillers. I was then left alone and a few people popped in and out during this time to take my BP and tell me more things and ask questions. I was tired but couldn’t sleep so I just sort of lay on the bed and went on my phone occasionally. At about 10.30 a new Dr came in, well, new for the day but again I’d met her previously when I went in on New Years Day so it was nice to see a familiar face and she was just lovely. She said they were going to scan me which I’d been prepared for as they have to scan twice to confirm ‘fetal demise’ which is one of the worst phrases I’ve ever heard. I felt lucky that my husband had been able to come in with me the night before so I knew I wouldn’t be hearing it for the first time that day. The scan was okay, again confirmed no heartbeat. There were 2 Drs in there and a lovely young student nurse who squeezed my hand as I got upset again. What was interesting is that once again the Dr (a different Dr) said she couldn’t see evidence of partial molar. I felt my heart grow a little lighter as she said this, as this was the 2nd time now. She did say that she could see the first scan (from Monday 4th) and she could see why that Dr had queried the partial molar. She also showed me the screen briefly and it looked completely different from the 4th. Whereas on the 4th the poor baby had looked almost squashed (and the Dr had said there wasn’t enough fluid around it in the gestational sac) this time it looked like there was a lot more room and the sac had grown. In fact I think this might have been the case the night before too as I think my husband commented on it, but I tried not to look at the screen on Monday as I was upset. On this morning though, I looked and the Dr told me the baby was quite low in my uterus which meant in fact the miscarriage was underway. I was surprised by this as just a few hours before my cervix was closed and it hadn’t looked like I was actively having a miscarriage, but I guess things had really progressed overnight. I actually felt quite pleased that my body was trying to expel the tissue as I felt like it had realized something wasn’t right and it was trying to protect me, if that makes sense?
After the scan I chatted with the Dr for ages and it was really helpful. We spoke about the partial molar issue and I told her how worried I’d been about it and she was so understanding. She repeated that she couldn’t see anything but it was still best to get it tested. She said results take 4 weeks which would tie in with when they recommended starting to TTC again so actually would match up quite well. She also said lots of helpful and reassuring things that just made me feel better. Particularly something that stood out to me which was along the lines of a sperm and an egg meeting being a relatively amazing thing already, but that gets even more amazing as it becomes this insanely complex LIFE that has so many different elements that things are bound to go wrong every so often and it just can’t be helped. I feel like I’m not retelling that well but it just really did help me. So despite having confirmation again that there was no heartbeat, I felt better after this scan.
After the scan I got given some codeine and paracetamol about 11am, then about 12 I had to insert the two pills that would soften my cervix. I really struggled with this and dropped one which was a bit of a nightmare, and I eventually just took the tampon out of the applicator, stuck them on the top and then put the tampon in! Not ideal but hopefully did the job. I got a bit upset doing this as I was just starting to feel really fed up about this awful situation I was in. About 12.30 I got told my Covid test was negative and so they moved me to a Covid negative ward just down the hallway where I had a nice window bed. I was starting to get really hungry and thirsty at this point. About 12.45 the same lovely Dr from earlier who was going to do my procedure (they were all lovely!!) came to see me. She apologized for the delay and said that she’d seen my scan from this morning and said ‘good news that the Dr couldn’t see evidence of a partial molar!’ which again cheered me up as this was yet another person saying this, and she also said did I still want the surgery!? Which REALLY confused me as you have to have surgery if there’s any mention of a partial molar so does that mean she was positive it wasn’t!? I was confused and said I still wanted the surgery and would actually want it even if there wasn’t mention of a partial molar, and she said she agreed. So that was a bit confusing but didn’t change anything really. She said she hoped my op would be just after 1 and left me feeling quite ready. Unfortunately I then just waited and waited until 3pm when they finally came to get me. I realise this isn’t really a long time at all but honestly I was SO HUNGRY and thirsty I couldn’t think straight as I hadn’t eaten since 6pm the previous evening. In a way it was good as it meant I couldn’t really think about what was happening, but then when I got taken to the anesthetic room it had all happened so suddenly that I got REALLY upset and started crying and just freaking out. The nurses and Drs were wonderful though and one held my hand, one talked to me, and the anesthetist gave me something before the actual GE to help calm me down. I’ve never had GE before so I think I was just nervous plus upset at the thought of what I was actually having done. Whatever she gave me worked, I started to feel very woozy as if I’d had 3 gin and tonics in quick succession, I stopped crying, and then the last thing I remember is her saying I’d start to feel sleepy.
Continued in pt 2 as it's too long...