Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@thedaydreambelievers that's positive news and so good you're feeling like you can move forward.

I've been feeling tempted to do a test out of curiosity but will try and hold off as only 1 week and 3 days post meds. Feels like the final goal post to get to in a weird way.

@TheDaydreamBelievers that is amazing news! So so pleased. Still waiting for next period or going to crack on trying?

Can I join you? I started bleeding on Saturday. Was confirmed this morning that I had a MMC at 8 weeks. My 12 week scan would have been on Monday instead I'm having a D&C tomorrow.

@enola41 I'm so sorry this has happened. It's just devastating, thinking of you. Hope you find the thread supportive, it's really helped me through a very tough time. Take things very easy and be kind to yourself. I hope your loved ones hold your heart well xx

@Enola41 yes of course sorry that you find yourself here it's a great place for support though

@Redfoxinthesnow thanks at the moment I'm struggling to even get words out about it so just don't instead. But my Dr's has sent a note signing me off work for another week so I'm hoping that will give me some breathing time.

@AMS19 gonna crack on, but maybe casual mode (hahaha like I ever do casual)

@Enola41 of course you can join, and I'm very sorry. I had surgery 6.5 weeks ago. Happy to answer any Qs you might have

@AMS19 ahh no, they didn’t mention I would need to be rescanned!? They just wrote the report up and booked me in! They didn’t scan me a second time with my last miscarriage either - I was booked in for the op and it was done 48 hours after the initial scan. Definitely a question for my gynae later - thanks for flagging that up!!
Do you find the first response pregnancy tests the most sensitive? I’ve got to order some and I’ve always used whatever brand I spot first on the shelf 😀
That’s great your spotting has stopped - can’t be long now before you get your negative test. Weird how we never want to see a negative pregnancy test and now all we want is for it to be negative!! 🤦‍♀️ I’m glad my story brings you some comfort and happiness. My best friend also had two consecutive miscarriages (December then June but she wasn’t trying inbetween due to needing surgery for something separate ) and fell pregnant immediately in July with her rainbow baby, literally a few weeks after her second miscarriage. So there are lots of positive stories out there! My gynae also said women seem to fall quicker following a miscarriage so fingers crossed.
I’m not sure what I’ll do re trying again. I would love to but I don’t think my husband is so keen 🙁 I’m 37 though so worry that my risks will just be growing higher the longer I wait! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour I definitely find FRERs the best - my lines stopped showing on One Steps but were still there on FRER

I'm sorry to hear that your DH isnt sure and that his decision has been affected by this experience. Do you have living children already? Wishing you guys all the best in working out how you feel

@Enola41im so sorry to hear you’ve joined this thread. None of us wanted to be here 😢 I hope you’ve got support around you. We are all here to offer help and comfort.
Do you mind me asking whether you’ve got to be Covid swabbed before your D&C? I was hoping to get my procedure done as soon as possible but I have to wait 72 hours for the results and am panicking that I’ll miss the boat and things will start progressing at home x

@TheDaydreamBelievers yes we do have children, which I feel unbelievably grateful for and which feel like a miracle knowing how often things go wrong. The fact we do have children is part of my husband’s reason for not necessarily wanting more. He’s a procrastinator and sees the negative in things unfortunately, whereas I’m the opposite! I think you should grab the bull by the horns if you want something. I am worried what will happen if we continue to have different opinions. I feel very very strongly that I would like another final bubba to complete our family and I don’t think that feeling will subside! 🥴 x

Hi girls does anyone mind me posting a pic of what I think might be the sac. I really need your advice. I’m having a missed mc at 7 weeks it stopped growing at 5 weeks just an small empty sac on the scan they said .

@SuzieDeLaTour thank you. I've found this forum to be wonderfully supportive. I'm sorry for your loss. They didn't swab me for Covid, they took lots of blood, temperature and blood pressure. TBH I'm petrified as I'm scared of being put under but I wanted it to be over and done with.

@Slk3558 if it's okay, it might be best to start another thread with a graphic image warning in the title? Means posters can more easily chose whether or not to look.

Happy to help on this thread with any Qs we can answer x

Hey girls and thank you so much @DMT1982 for checking up on me. I had my surgery on Tuesday and am now home and recovering in bed. I'm feeling okay, sad obviously and I feel like my feelings may be a bit masked by the GA still being in my system and like it'll hit me in a few days, but generally I'm okay. My husband is being incredible and looking after me so well and talking things through whenever I need which is just so helpful.

I'm going to type out my whole experience and post it on this thread as you guys have all been so helpful and supportive and honestly this thread was such a lifesaver when I was actually in hospital and looking for support. So hopefully sharing my positive experience will help ladies looking for reassurance in the future. I'm going to do it now so I'll be back in a bit! Hope everyone's doing okay as can be. Love to you all xxxx

Just had a follow up call from my GP after they issued the note this morning. We ran through some stuff and they are concerned I have some symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. I'm now on watchful waiting and will have a follow up in a few weeks as it's less than 4 weeks. Apparently for some people it starts to ease.

Glad to know my emptyness/numbness and constant replay of events isn't me wallowing or being melodramatic. I didn't even consider this as a potential side effect to it all.

Hey guys.

Just thought I'd update with details while I can. I find the detailed stories really helpful so I hope this helps others!

So I went in for my scan this morning at 9.20am. That confirmed that I'm having a missed miscarriage and that my pregnancy hasn't developed at all in the last week - in fact my gestational sac has halved in size.

I then went in to see the midwife who did my blood pressure etc. And she talked me through my options. We'd already discussed MVA when I was last here as I've been bleeding for 4 weeks now and just want it over and done with.

She confirmed this was the right choice for me and got a doctor to run through the procedure with me and do my consent forms.

After this, a triage nurse came into the room I'd been having the consent with the doctor in, and got me to strip bottom half and lay on a bed.

She gave me some strong pain killers and then popped two misoprostol (sorry that might not be spelt right!)?tablets in my vagina. I was then told I had to lie completely flat for half an hour to allow the tablets time to dissolve.

After the half an hour I was allowed to pop home and was told I could have something small to eat.

Just to give an idea of timings, it was 12.15pm by the time I was allowed to leave the hospital. So roughly 3 hours for this process (lots of waiting between seeing different doctors/nurses etc.

I'm back at the hospital now and waiting for a doctor to be free to do my MVA. They've said that there's only one doctor in the hospital who can do it at the moment and he's stuck dealing with emergencies so I may be waiting a few hours.

I have my headphones and my new audiobook to keep me company, and a lucozade to keep me going!

Will update with the rest of it later this evening.

@TheHotelCalifornia yay thanks for the update. So pleased you’ve come out the other side of the surgery and your hubby is taking good care of you.

I also thought that I would feel really bad a new days after the GA was out of my system however I didn’t so you may be fine as well. The only thing I would say is that I was just shattered and had zero energy for quite a few days afterwards and just assume that was a mix of my body working out what the hell had happened, trying to heal but also my hormones still thinking I was pregnant. I actually had more energy in the two days after my op than I did a few days after so if you do feel wiped out then I think it’s pretty normal and it’ll pass. Try to get as much rest as you can over the next few days even if you do feel like you are fine there is still lots going on inside your body.

I think that’ll be great if you could write about your experience as it will help others on here now and over time when ladies are looking for support xxx

@LauraT94 hope the wait isn't too long if getting so make sure you buzz for a top up of pain relief before the procedure also ask for gas and air to be available whilst you have it.
From friends who have had it done those with pain management done well recovered quickly whilst those without would never wish to have it again.

@AMS19 it’s awful when the day comes that you were due your scan so I feel for you I really do. Don’t try to not think about it because you need to acknowledge it and feel sad because it’s all part of the grieving process.

Try not to worry about Mother’s Day because you may actually be pregnant by then so look on it with excitement as you never know what is around the corner xxx

@Slk3558 I don’t mind because I think that it will help others with what to expect xxx

@scottishskifun It sounds like you've had really good support from your GP which is great. You've been through such a traumatic experience. Good you've been signed off work too, take all the time you need to recover from this.

@laurat94 hope you don't have to wait too much long and hoping it all goes smoothly for you.

@Enola41 oh I’m so surprised that didn’t swab you. They’ve told me they won’t operate until I’ve had a negative swab as standard. I was also terrified of being put under, despite having had at least 6 GA before then but it was so easy - the worry and fear of it is much greater than the actual event. The anaethetists are usually very understanding so just let them know that you’re feeling afraid. You certainly won’t be the first person!! I was only under for 10 minutes last time and have been told it won’t be any longer this time so it really is very quick xx

@Scottishskifun oh I’m glad you’re getting the support you need from your GP. It sounds like a horrendous ordeal so you need to take the time to recover. I hope your work is being understanding? X

@LauraT94 good luck with the MVA. I hope it all goes well and the doctor is able to see you quickly. Thinking of you! X

@AMS19 I asked my gynae about the scan and he said they would only scan me if I thought I had passed the baby. If my bleeding carries on as it is without the actual pregnancy products (his term not mine!!) then I’ll be good to go with the surgery. Praying my Covid results come back before tomorrow evening - fingers and toes crossed! And that my bleeding doesn’t increase, I keep looking at the clock thinking “another hour closer”...what a life! 😒 xx