Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

thanks for the quick reply AMS- you're our tribe leader, that's how I think of you by now :) I might not be as active but I do read the thread everyday- it really helps me seeing everyone supporting each other, you girls rock! I was so devastatating to find out our baby stopped developing after we saw the 170bpm heart beat at 8 weeks, I think your experience was similar wasn't it? It gave me such a boost and was walking around for next 4 weeks thinking there's no way I will be in the 3% who miscarry after this reassuring milestone! I feel very humbled by the biology of my own body... I hope everyone, especially our new members find comfort in processing their events in talking to us. You are stronger than you think but you don't have to feel that way today. Be gentle and don't put a brave face on in week 1 xxx

Haha it's not negative yet @AMS19! Now 6 weeks out from surgery

@Scottishskifun oh wow that is so many friends going through miscarriages! are they being supportive atm? do they know about you? Glad majority managed to have babies and hope the other friend is coping too. We do consider adoption if getting a biological child proves impossible- mother any way is my vision. Thinking of it that way makes it less painful, it takes away the option of 'i'll never be a mum'.

Awww thanks @mia2201 I definitely think of us as a little family now. We've been through such such awful experience but isn't it great we now have each other. I'm confident we will get our happy ending whatever that journey might look like. And it will be so encouraging for each other as the BFPs roll in and successful pregnancies progress.
Yeah mine was the same, heartbeat at 6+6, baby gone at 9+5. I won't get any comfort from a heartbeat next time. I am unlikely to believe it will turn into a baby until I get to 12 weeks at the earliest, probably even later. The journey to our babies won't be easy, but we will get there!! X

@mia2201 yes they are I spoke to 3 of them about options before deciding (sadly the opposite of what I wanted happened and miscarried at home hence ending up in the trauma unit).

I find many of my female friends are a lot more open about things post babies then they were before and even will say rainbow baby.
None of my friends do baby showers now though partly due to consideration to all the others and none put anything on social media where they did with first pregnancies.

@Scottishskifun yes the optimism is somewhat dimmed after the experience hits you. They sound like a very respectful bunch. I will definitely wait a little bit longer with telling friends next time, hopefully there will be next time :)

@mia2201 I'm sure there will be a next time and I'm in admiration of all of the positivity on this thread.

We will be waiting a while as the experience of finding out alone as we have no family nearby for childcare and couldn't go into a friend's house to be able to settle my son in order to go in was all a bit much for me and made me realise how much I depended on friends in person so going to wait til things settle down a bit with covid.

Thank you all for your posts about exercise. It’s hard not to blame myself but I’m trying hard to push those thoughts aside.

How wonderful would it be to be able to hon on holiday somewhere right now?! I really feel it’s what me and my husband need!

Feel the same as you ladies re. heartbeat. We saw ours at 6 weeks and felt so optimistic. You read that once you see a heartbeat chances of miscarrying drop, unfortunately it for us and I doubt it would offer much comfort in the future :( xx

Go on*

So... TMI evening chat but I've just had 3 big (10p piece sized) blobs of what seems to be CM mixed up with old brown blood? Very much sticky, perhaps approx texture of slightly dry wallpaper paste? Not sure what to make of it. Hoping it's the start of AF?

@TheDaydreamBelievers have you tired an OPK? Could it be EWCM and you're about to ovulate? Obviously AF would be fab but ovulation would also be fab?

@AMS19 OPKs are totally blank silly body

@TheDaydreamBelievers bugger. Well...on the brightside a blank OPK should mean very little to no HCG left!!

Yeah haha @AMS19 I think signs are good that tomorrow scan wont find anything and bloods will be close to nothing. Which means... back on the sex train!

Fingers crossed for you @TheDaydreamBelievers 🤞🏻🤞🏻

I'm two weeks post surgical today and CB digital is down to 1-2 weeks now and FRER is much noticeably lighter so really happy it's going in the right direction.

Today would have been my 12 week scan as well! So weird doing tests hoping for them to be negative on this day! 😞

@Pettylamby 1-2 is good. I'm testing on cheap tests are all are moving in the right direction. I've attached mine. Top 2 where when I was 6 weeks pregnancy, bottom 3 post procedure. Bottom one was yesterday so still dark but lighter. My 12 week scan would have been tomorrow ☹ feel so sad about it!! But our time will come ❤

My scan date was also tomorrow :(

When I had surgery on Monday they mentioned sending the pregnancy tissue for testing and that I would get a letter in the post with results. Was anyone else told this? I wasn’t really expecting any testing at such early stage of development (stopped at 6 weeks).

@AMS19 they are definately moving in the right direction! I wish I'd recorded mine like that too.. I like to have a progression to look at! Probably why I enjoy POAS and find premom Opk so satisfying!

I have noticed today that my boobs are no longer sore at all and my cm appears to have returned to 'normal'

Are you waiting for a period before trying again or just going for it?

@Mellous is this your 3rd miscarriage? If not, my understanding and what I was told is they only get in touch if there is evidence on a molar pregnancy (as this means you can't tru for 6 months and may need more tests). Otherwise I was told i won't hear anything.

@Pettylamby yeah I love tracking opks! Also liked tracking my hcg progression when I was pregnant to see it get darker. Weird tracking it lighter but think it helps monitor it if not using a digital!

@Pettylamby sorry pressed send too soon. We are trying as soon as we get a negative. Not actively trying, no ovulation tracking. But definitely back to having unprotected sex. I'm technically allowed from tomorrow but will wait for negatives so if I do get lucky I can be sure it is a new pregnancy rather than leftover tissue. how about you?

@AMS19 I really really want to try straight away but I just have this anxious niggle in the back of my mind that says I should have a period first to clean everything out and basically reset my body?

I know they say you can try straight away but I'm just scared that if I don't have a period first then the conditions in there might not be at their best and I'd be even more anxious if we did fall immediately?

Does that make sense or am I being completely irrational? 😂

@AMS19 nope first pregnancy. I asked the nurse if I’d hear either way whether there was news or not and she said she thinks so but tbh she didn’t seem sure. I’m not really expecting to hear anything, was just curious really!

@Mellous are you in Scotland? I'm sure I was told that they would test the tissue but I would only get contacted if they found something of concern? I can't quite remember exactly what was said but it was something like that!

@Pettylamby yeah I totally get that. And to be honest I partially feel the same. But I'm also worried that I might miss a "good" egg this month. So hard to know what is best isnt it?!

@Mellous i could be wrong but I would expect you won't hear anything in that case. Which is good news as it means it isn't a molar pregnancy!

Morning everyone, I hope you're all well. I'm still getting some bleeding (after 2 negative tests) which is annoying. I'm trying to contact the EPU but I can only speak to a receptionist and then I'm put in a queue for a call back which never happens.

@AMS19 @Pettylamby I'm in the same position, I want to try again asap but there seems to be so much contradictory advice.