Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@TheHotelCalifornia so sorry you're going through this. I had surgery yesterday and it was totally fine and I'm recovering well. Sorry I can't offer any advice on the molar pregnancy, but I hope you can get some answers today. Again, sorry this is happening to you too, but you will find plenty of support here

Quick question for you ladies.. when did you return to exercise after your surgery / miscarriage?

Also, on a similar note.. I'm having horrible self-blaming thoughts this morning around exercise. I continued with fairly intense exercise whilst pregnant (with some adaptions such as lower impact alternatives), and I can't help but think I brought this on myself by continuing with this :(.

I think when I (hopefully) get pregnant again I will be too scared to exercise!

@mellous I started exercise last week so a week after procedure, but have started with more weights and very gradual. No intense cardio yet. I'm probably going to do more toning/weights then start running again from March.
In my little Facebook groups I was insane, the ladies who exercised were not the ones who had miscarriages. I stopped exercising and i did. So definitely not a factor for you to be worrying about at all! But obviously you should make changes that help you mentally next time xx

@AMS19 gutted you’re on here too lovely. What bad luck hey.

Here’s the thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4132578-I-think-Im-miscarrying-Looking-for-support-or-to-not-feel-alone-I-guess

Just had a 2nd scan to confirm no heartbeat. Horrible doing it without DH but at least we already got told last night. She couldn’t see anything to suggest a partial molar though, which has cheered me up immensely although possibly wrongly, although she could see by looking at the previous scan why the other Dr queried it. Third Dr last night said she also couldn’t see anything. Need to try not to focus on it as we won’t know til we know. Anyway. Had a lovely Dr who talked me through it all and I do feel a bit better. Also had some pain relief. Waiting to have the surgery now, they still think that’s the best option so they can send it off for testing. Just want it out now and want to start recovering.

@Mellous thank you so much for sharing that makes me feel better. How are you feeling now?

What a shit boat we’re all in ladies xxxx

@TheHotelCalifornia I'm so so sorry to see you here. I also had surgery and the procedure itself was really fine. Crossing my fingers hard that there are no concerns about molar. It's okay to feel a real loss about your baby. Sending you all my thoughts today xox

@Mellous you did not cause this. It is safe and even healthy for a pregnancy to keep exercising like you did before. In terms of after MC, I started running again approx 2 weeks after surgery and climbing about 2.5 weeks out.

@TheHotelCalifornia that's promising that the dr couldn't see anything to suggest molar, I'm glad you're feeling better.

I'm fine today, just tired! I understand your need to want it out. I felt exactly the same, and I now feel able to start moving on now that the surgery is out the way.

Hopefully in a couple of hours time you'll be out the other side xx

@AMS19 sorry just seen this I had not been getting notifications for some reason. I think it was because I wasn’t logged in. That’s brilliant you’re COVID free, massive thumbs up to that 👍👍👍

I’ve been listening to that podcast one lady recommended on here. It’s very American but I like it because they are straight to the point and like the other lady said very empowering. I’m now half way through the book. Loving it. Bought some foil containers today as read what @Seasalt1984 said and I’ll make sure the liquid doesn’t touch the top. Also have sorted out the fridge and taken all fruit and stuff in plastic bags out and put in glass or those reusable eco friendly bags that can be washed. Think they are from Sainsbury’s.
Bought a lovely stainless steel bottle from Gogreen £16.99 and then saw one in Aldi for £3.99.....epic fail!!!

@AMS19 how are you feeling in the lady area if you don’t mind me asking? I had hardly any spotting or bleeding really after 3/4 days post op but today I’ve had to wear a sanitary towel as I’ve got loads of brown type stuff (sorry this is a lunch time post!!) surely this can’t be my period starting or could it be the rest of whatever was left working it’s way out? No pain or anything so just curious more than concerned xxx

@TheHotelCalifornia sorry to find you hear, it sounds like you've had quite an experience. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today.

@Mellous I completely understand how you feel, I was cycling everywhere and I keep on thinking that it contributed to the miscarriage, I'll be ptting my bike away as soon as I get a positive test for my mental health if nothing else! All the advice seems to be to return to exercise gradually and to really listen to your body.

I'm bleeding again today even though I had a negative test result at the weekend - has anyone experienced this? I want it to be over.

@DMT1982 hey lovely. Sounds like you've been busy..well done! My bleeding it really on and off. I have days with nothing and then randomly get brown bits coming out. Sometimes a tiny bit, sometimes fills a whole tissue. All seems very random! My consultant did say bleeding normally last 2 weeks but spotting can be linger. Mine has been spotting since day 2 really, and is very inconsistent. I keep thinking better out than in through!

@Redfoxinthesnow I havent got negative tests yet but per above my bleeding is very on and off. I have seen a couple of girls get their periods 2/3 weeks later so certainly not impossible. It would be great if it was! Then you would have a clean cycle and hopefully the period would have pushed out all the last remaining bits

How is it only Tuesday!

@TheHotelCalifornia I’ve just read your post on this page and the other one. What a rubbish start to the year 😓 and so
sorry you are on this thread.

I also had the surgery on the 30/12 after a MMC at 9.5 weeks (baby HB stopped between 8.5 and 9.5 weeks)

I’ve got to say given the option again I would 100% go for the surgery. There are risks with everything, even by no intervention there is a risk. At least this way it’s done and you can begin to heal both physically and emotionally. There is a huge success rate of pregnancy after a miscarriage (previous thread positive stories following a MMC or miscarriage) so please don’t give up hope. It’s a shit time you’re going through but it will get better and you will be fine with the surgery. Sending you lots of love xx

@Mellous re exercise I think the recommendations in pregnancy are that if you are already physically active then to continue with that but no activities that could cause an actual if you fell off impact like skiing, horse riding etc.

The doctor is spoke to about the miscarriage said it’s nothing I had done because I questioned it as I run but always have done. Apparently one of the only issues with exercise and being pregnant are something to do with the placenta, something to do with it being close to your cervix I think (something like that, there is a word for it) as high impact exercise and sex can cause it to bleed. That would only be found on a scan though.
I think exercise is super important for your own health and mental health which when pregnant will have a positive effect on any growing baby.

I am nearly 2 weeks post surgical but won’t be exercising just yet only because I’m still spotting but will see how I feel at the weekend and may go for a short run or do a home workout. Xxx

@AMS19 ah ok then it seems to be normal then, thanks 😊

Yeah I’m actually really enjoy reading at night as it makes me sleepy instead of looking at my phone so a digital detox before bed really. I asked for my bloods to be emailed to me as the receptionists at the doctors are hard work so easier to look at and try to work out. All my levels are good other than bilirubin (Gilbert’s syndrome possibly they are saying) and TSH thyroid is 1.9 which is fine they said but I don’t know what the levels are do you? Have you done your test yet? Also that book talks about this anti clotting disorder that can go undiagnosed, do you recall that part? Xx

Regarding exercise it takes a few weeks for relaxin to leave the body (it peaks around 14 weeks and also at birth). Relaxin losens ligaments/muscles so you might seem more flexible or seem you can do more.
As long as you stick within previous exercise levels and don't push it then your fine just don't over load as you can do some damage without realising.

@Scottishskifun yes absolutely on the relaxin I had forgotten about that one. You think you are super/uber flexible then can’t wait the next day 😂 xx

Walk not wait!!

@TheHotelCalifornia so sorry you're experiencing this. Hoping this group can bring you some support and solace.

I started exercising this week, been doing 10-15 min light hiit-type workouts (but only just break sweat, nothing major). Feeling better for it already. I'm one week today post medical management. My bleeding has really tailed off bar some brown spotting. Hoping it stays this way 🤞

@DMT1982 good news on your tests. Pretty sure TFH under 2.5 is what you need for fertility etc sounds perfect! I sent mine off yesterday so hopefully will get the results in the next week. As I say I'm not expecting anything to show but let's see. Some of the symptoms are so generic it is easy to tick them off (tired, feeling cold all the time, etc). At least I should have those results before I'm able to start trying again so can do so confidently, or get the treatment I need, or go gluten free!

Anti clotting is probably why you take the baby aspirin right? I know a lot of people on here have started taking baby aspirin. I'm not going to the next pregnancy but if that results in miscarriage I might try it. I've bought them ready in case I need them! Xx

@Seasalt1984 same as me! My workouts are 15mins so really light but mentally makes me feel a lot better to be doing something!

@TheHotelCalifornia so sorry you find yourself here, it truly is an utterly shit thing to happen but everyone is here for you. I had the surgery under GA on 30/12 - had a little bleeding afterwards which turned to spotting after 2 days and now totally cleared up. Hopefully you have a positive experience of surgical management like most of us have had here and if you have any questions please just ask xx

@Mellous I had my surgery on the 30th and I walked my dog for an hour on the 31st and did a short 20min workout on the 1st Jan and have been regularly increasing it since - for me it has done wonders for my mindset and I'm so glad I went straight back to it. Please don't think exercise might have caused or played a part in what happened. Nothing you did or didn't do caused what happened, which is hard to accept sometimes but please just remember that none of us here are at fault whatsoever.

Little update on me - went back to work on saturday so that's been keeping me busy but still feel like the days and weeks are dragging.. I just want to be pregnant again now... I initially decided to wait for a period first but now that feels so far away that I'm questioning myself but so scared that if we caught before a period things would go wrong again! Irrational I know! Tried to do a Cb digital this morning to see if my HCG had decreased again but the test didn't work so that left me 🤬🤬 and I was so pissed off so I'll take another tomorrow!

@TheDaydreamBelievers have you taken a CB digital? I find it useful because I've found the hcg thresholds for each week online so I can see the numbers dropping from one threshold to another! Might not be for everyone but easier to interpret than the lines... Albeit slightly more expensive!

Anyway sorry this turned into a ramble - hope everyone is okay 😘

@mellous I continued with exercise when I found out I was pregnant. Probably like all of us, did my Google research and it sounded fine. It's so hard not to look for reasons why though I totally get that. At my booking appointment with midwife I had a UTI picked up that I didn't have symptoms for and was really worried this somehow contributed to MC. I'm trying to take comfort from Miscarriage Association info that says most early miscarriages are about chromosome errors and could not have been prevented. I think it's really natural for brains to look for the "whys", but try to be kind to yourself (and I'll try to remember to take my own advice too 😊) x

@AMS19 thanks for the reassurance - there's so much contradictory advice and everyone seems to have such different experiences. I'm trying to contact the EPU so I can get some answers. I hope your bleeding continues to get easier.

@Pettylamby I'm with you about work, I'm pleased to have a distraction but it really doesn't seem like a priority at the moment.

@Seasalt1984 thanks for the reminder - I still find myself thinking over everything I did and wondering what triggered it. I know it isn't healthy!

@Pettylamby my lines are now just faint on a FRER so i suspect a CB digital would say not pregnant!

So sorry about the losses to all the new ladies, it's extremely tough and such a shock- I had my surgical management 4 weeks ago and I promise you every day you will feel that little bit better. I would 100% recommend the MVA under general, it was a very dignified day with minimal discomfort. A very sad day but I just went into a self-preservation mode and was greateful I was safe and not suffering. Spotted and bled for 3 weeks after but it all stopped now. Took my test exactly 3 weeks after the surgery and it was negative.

@DMT1982 I am so pleased you listed to 'I am a woman' podcast- it was me who reccommended it, I love dr Natalie Crawford- she is so empowering, an absolute powehouse of knowledge! I'm not she mentioned yet but her babies are pregnancies 5 and 6. She really struggled with her motherhood journey so really knows what she's talking about.

I have not had my period back yet and we're not using protection- see what happens is the current approach I guess... it took us 5 cycles to get pregnant for the first time, I wonder whether it is actually true you're more fertile and pregancies are more likely to stick in the first few months after a miscarriage. Does anyone know anyone who fell pregnant right away? Straight after my miscarriage I thought I wouldn't be ready but after thinking why am I thinking that I could not find a valid reason ;) I do worry about dating a possible prgnancy though, that's the only thing. Would testing often help with that?

@TheDaydreamBelievers fab news on the negative!! So was that 5 weeks in total? I'm expecting that type of timescale. Mine are moving in the right direction and getting fainter on a IC

@mia2201 great news on the negative and trying again. The dating will be done via a scan. They will get you to come in and use a scan to date you if you have no period to go by. I think you have to do what works for you but I certainly plan to jump straight back in and pray for a different outcome. I'm not going going to properly track ovulation until after I've had a period though, so anything before that is bonus!

@mia2201 yes I have 5 friends that got pregnant within 3 months of miscarriage, 4 of which are now bouncing babies unfortunately 1 friend had another 2nd trimester miscarriage but she has thyroid issues which was unknown at the time and has been referred to fertility unit.