Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@glowingtwig maybe try switching it up to dark chocolate instead. I don't like dark chocolate so I'll just go without. I eat a lot of red meat so will definitely have to be more careful. We only had fish once a week but going to try have a lot more and make sure at least 2 of our dinners are fish as it helps sperm too. Working from home means it is super easy to make healthy lunches so will make sure I'm on top of it form next week. Not today though, we jsuy had a huge lamb roast for dinner 😋
I will definitely be back to doing the OPKs after my first period. I really like them too, plus I'm curious to see if my cycles have now been impacted. But given we are "technically" trying until after after period I'm not going to use them between now and then

Ahhh ha @AMS19 we are having roast lamb too! Then next week fish x 2 and then fishcakes. I find healthy lunch ideas quite hard.

I did a preg test this morning and got a squinter. Hoping for a total negative by 8DPO or I'm going to be in the pickle that nurse warned me of...

@glowingtwig do you think you did ovulate? If so, what DPO are you now? Oh my I would love for you to be our first BFP!!! Im so ready for this thread to turn postive

@AMS19

No way of knowing for sure of course, but the consultant said it was ready to go and the opk was strong positive. Also I got the usual twinges the day after.

We DTD x3 😂🙈 in that window and I had ewcm too. I guess we will see. No way I'm that lucky to get a BFP so soon though. Just good to have something to hope for.

Just worked out that I will be 14 DPO on my 40th birthday coming up. Dare I test then?!?!?

@AMS19 3 DPO if it happened on the day I think.

@glowingtwig oh well wouldnt that be the best birthday present ever!! If it is negative then you can enjoy a drink or two for your birthday instead 😊 I think now I've been pregnant ill appreciate the TWW a bit more. Especially given the anxiety will be off the scale if I get a positive!

Surgery to remove ectopic done , I came round about 45 mins ago, a little sore but ok and just tired and thirsty AF! Water is the best right now

@Lililou I'm glad it is done and you are okay. Take some time out to just look after you. You need to mend physically and emotionally from this experience and that will take time x

@Lililou glad for you it's all done and you can start to recover. Hope you're able to rest now and take things easy. Sending love x

@lililou hope you rest up and had a OK night. Well done for trusting your instincts you have protected your body from potential harm. I hope that Dr who was rude on the phone is eating humble pie to you!

Just home from surgery... it was totally fine and I was really well looked after.

I feel a bit empty now. Like I’m not pregnant anymore and that’s sad (even though the little thing was never going to grow anymore). I loved knowing I was pregnant xx

@mellous glad it went smoothly and they took good care of you.

I get what you mean, it's a really strange thing, being pregnant one day and not the next. It's very sad. Sending you lots of positive thoughts, hope you get a good chance to rest and take it easy over the next few days x

@Mellous glad all went okay and you're home. I'm the same. I'm really missing being pregnant now. I hated the nausea and feeling crap before but loved having a little life growing inside. It isnt forever, hopefully we will be pregannt again soon. I have you have some nice post surgery food and drink planned xx

@AMS19 I have had so many sweets, chocolate and goodies this evening! Back to healthy eating tomorrow eh..

@Seasalt1984 thank you. Definitely going to have a nice early night tonight. I feel exhausted!

@Lililou I'm sorry you had to fight to get the right care! But I'm so glad you did and that surgery went well - sounds like a bit of a nightmare!

@Redfoxinthesnow I'm sorry that seeing the BFN made you feel emotional but I hope this is the start of a journey to a sticky bean for you! Do you mind if I ask how long it took for your negative? Sorry if you've already shared and I've missed it.

@glowingtwig how exciting to be in the TWW already! Would be fab to see a BFP in just a few weeks ❤️

@AMS19 after seeing your goal was to be 3 months pregnant by the end of the year I wonder if I'm winding myself up/being overly optimistic to hope that I'll have a baby by the end of the year?! We caught first time (amazingly) and I know everyone says you're meant to be extra fertile after MC. So I'm hoping it'll be first cycle again for us. But maybe I'm being too hopeful? Don't want to set myself up to fail!

@Mellous glad to hear your surgery went ok, definitely make the most of all the sugar!! Hope you heal up quickly.

An update from me... Still not much to update 😩 I'm definitely bleeding more now - it's actually going into a pad now rather than just being there when I wipe! And I've had some tiny clots (biggest maybe being about 1.5mm). So I still don't really think I've passed much.

Will I definitely get the heavy bleeding?! Although I'm technically 9 weeks today, baby and sac are measuring 6 weeks still. So is there loads to pass at that stage? I'm just wondering if I've still got loads and loads to come! Or a few more days of this half bleeding. Still not really cramping terribly either. Just mild and continuous and mostly in my back!

@LauraT94 hi lovely. I'm the same as you, fell first cycle. So am definitely hoping to fall quickly. At first I was like "I need to be pregnant yesterday already or mentally I won't cope." But I started thinking about it logically. The 2 hardest days for me will be the due date and the anniversary of losing it. I would love to be more than 3 months pregannt by the due date. But if I miss that milestone, then I think the goal then it more than 3 months by the anniversary and Christmas. After having such an awful Christmas last year, I would be so happy being pregnant (past first trimester, ideally passed viability) or having a baby. Then when I thought how happy even being very pregnant would make me this Christmas, it became my new goal. Bur don't get me wrong, I'll be trying and praying it will be a lot sooner 😊
So I had MVA so different but my bleeding it on and off. I can go a whole day with nothing and then have a day of quite a bit. I'm 10 days post procedure so had thought it might have stopped by now. There will definitely be less the earlier you are. But no way of telling exactly how much. What have they said about follow up scans etc?

@AMS19 ahh yes I can really understand that!! I'm definitely in the 'i need to be pregnant again already' camp. Almost painfully so! To the point I'm just wishing this one to just finish itself already. It's horrible to be stuck in this limbo where I know my bubba won't grow but my body just won't fully let go yet! I've ordered a load more HPTs and OPKs this week to stock up my bathroom cupboard! I'll be trying not to do a HPT for at least two weeks as I'll torture myself doing them every day looking for a line reduction otherwise! And I'm worried about OPKs showing positive due to HCG rather than LH as well haha. Will just have to DTD every other day from whenever we're cleared to!

So I have my scan on Thursday at 9.20am. Which will confirm baby hasn't grown (or hasn't grown enough) or that I've passed it all. I don't think I'll have passed it all just yet, I've not seen a sac or any large clots yet.

@laurat94 I was, and still largely are of the same mindset of you. But I was getting so worked up I had a good word with myself. My husband and I have also agreed if for whatever reason we haven't had a baby in 2 years we are going to quit our jobs, rent out our flat and travel the world some more for a year or two. I just felt like I need to take the pressure of myself and getting pregnant. It is all consuming and I know my mental health could easily spiral from the pressure. Even telling myself by Christmas has already made me feel better. Even though nothing has actually changed and I'm still going all guns blazing as soon as I stop bleeding/get negatives! 😂

@LauraT94 I think generally yes there is more bleeding so doubt you have passed yet. I was told small plum size and more than a sani pad but shouldn't need to be changing a pad more than every few hours.

I had way too much with hand sized clots and changing a maternity pad every 30ish minutes and had a complication of a stuck clot. I was 14 weeks (although baby stopped growing at 9 weeks my body was still expanding etc).

@LauraT94 I was the same as you - 9 weeks when started scantily bleeding and the baby had stopped growing at 6- ish. It went from just when I wiped to on pads and then very suddenly on Christmas morning very heavy bleeding and huge clots. I can't remember if you are waiting for the hospital to do anything? The period-style bleeding went on for a long time before the actual miscarriage happened.

It was quite scary and I ended up in hospital because the bleeding was so bad, so trust your instincts on it.

Every mc I've had is different though. The one in August which I lost at 6 weeks (no idea how big the baby got as no scan for this one) was just heavy bleeding, not scary heavy and the sac was very obvious. This one even though it was further along I didn't see the sac, even though I was really looking for it and I'd seen it clearly on the scans.

I really hope it happens quickly for you ❤️

I'm not getting my hopes up about this cycle... although it's hard not to have a glimmer. It took 6 months after my first mc to fall pregnant with DD so that's my first aim x

@AMS19 I love your travel idea. I'd never do this as I love home so much (well maybe when we are retired). Sometimes when work is really stressful I do feel like selling everything up and going to live in a tiny cottage that doesn't take much money to run, somewhere by the sea and we will live off the land and home school DD.

You'll be pregnant before that happens though. ☺️

@glowingtwig ah I often think about moving elsewhere. Usually somewhere hot like dubai or the cayman islands. I really hope you're right though and we end up with our baby so it all goes out the window. Definitely wishing that dream doesn't happen. But I think having realistic options for a life without a baby seems sensible now. I know I've only had one miscarriage but my heart has almost given up on it happening, even though I'm super determined to do everything in my power to try and make it...
I'm hoping another week or so and we can start trying again, but not holding my breath. The bleeding comes and goes and pregnancy tests are still strong 🙄

@AMS19 take the pressure off yourself and have some self care like reading some books (I really miss reading its pretty impossible with a toddler either watching him/trying to wfh or too tired) or walks etc.

You will get there it's still quite early since your procedure take some self care time. It's easy for me to say whilst failing to do the same!

You can also travel with a baby once they have had all their jabs they are surprisingly portable especially if BF we did shared parental leave with my son and went around New Zealand for 2 months. So you can have a baby and travel

Hi ladies I hope it’s okay to join your thread. I sadly recognise a few of you from the post-pill thread. Unfortunately I found out last night I’ve had a miscarriage and there was not heartbeat. I’ve written the whole story out in a thread I started yesterday if you’d like the full story, apologies I can’t face typing it out again.

I’m currently lying in a hospital bed waiting for surgery as although I’m bleeding, the Dr who scanned me last Monday wrote down ? Partial molar pregnancy? On my notes and although the Dr who scanned me last night said she couldn’t see anything, they want to be sure and so have recommended surgery. So should be 1-2 hours until it happens. I just feel numb and sad and can’t stop crying. So worried it’s a partial molar and we don’t be able to TTC for 6 months as I’m so anxious to try again, sad and upset being in hospital I’ve never had surgery before, and just generally sad that we lost our baby. Although trying to tell myself it’s not a baby it’s just a bunch of cells. I’m 9w4 days today but not sure when it happened.

Anyway just looking for support really and I’m so sorry we’re all in this horrible boat together. Sending love xxxx

@TheHotelCalifornia I've just messaged you!! Im absolutely devastated to find you here. Where is a link to the thread so you don't have to repost and I'll take a look? You are definitely in the right place here. Lots of the ladies here have had surgery and all very successfully. I'm sending you SO much love. I cant believe last time we spoke it was me leaving our little group ☹ xx