Hi everyone I hope you don’t mind me joining your thread, I’ve been reading and watching it since it started and it’s been so helpful for me in getting through this so wanted to share my experience to hopefully add to the stories for other people in the same position.
But firstly I’m so sorry for you all and wanted to say what amazing, positive and strong people you all are. The kindness and support I’ve seen you all give each other has been so heartening and has given me strength.
We found out about our MMC on 22 Dec, at our 12 week scan. At 39 years old I’d been prepared for the higher risk of miscarriage but as every week passed with symptoms still going strong and no signs of anything going wrong we were cautiously optimistic that we’d made it. As soon as the image came on the screen and we saw my empty uterus it hit us. ‘Just give me a second, I’m looking’ she said. Eventually she found our baby, sized around 6 weeks, a sac and fetal pole but so small. I was very sure of my dates so knew that was it but of course there has to be a wait for another scan. Christmas bank holidays meant I couldn’t go back again until this Monday, 4th Jan, a day short of when we would be 14 weeks. So we went home and tried to process the news.
Monday was supposed to be my first day back to work but I called my line manager first thing who has been through this and she was brilliant. They aren’t expecting me back this week and she fully understands that my head might take some time to get back into it when I do go back.
I read through a longer thread on here which prepared me for what might happen in that fortnight, stocked up on everything I would need and analysed every twinge and cramp, hoping it would just happen so we could move on. As it happens all of those were gas, my body really wanted to keep this pregnancy going.
I found this thread about a week ago and have been following all your stories closely, silently cheering you all on and keeping my fingers crossed for you while being so grateful for your sharing so that I could make my decision about what to do next because waiting for it to happen naturally really didn’t seem like the option for me.
On Monday we went back, I feel so lucky that my husband has been allowed to join me for all of this. I know not all of you have had great experiences with all the healthcare staff in your hospitals but I’ve been so fortunate here with ours who are honestly incredible and some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I’m so sorry you haven’t all had that.
The internal scan confirmed what the first one showed, though in the fortnight between my uterus has continued to expand and was really big! Still no spotting, no cramps, my body carrying on like a trooper to keep a firm hold of the light that had gone out weeks ago.
At my hospital they offer medical, local MVA and the op under GA. I’m terrified of GA having never had it so that was my least favourite option. I seriously considered the tablets but the worry that they wouldn’t finish the job and that I could end up with a more drawn out process and having waited so long I really felt like I needed to physically let go so that I could emotionally start to heal. For that reason I chose the local anaesthetic surgery option, though this was after I asked for more info and learnt that at my hospital they give local anaesthetic injections as well as the gel which gave me more confidence in choosing that.
Last night at bedtime I took the 4 antibiotics they gave me and this morning at 7am I inserted the two Misoprostol tablets as high up as I could get them. I laid in bed for 30 mins to give them some time to work and started to feel quite crampy so worried it was all going to start but that died right down again.
On the way to the hospital at 9.30 I took 2 paracetamol and 2 ibuprofen, my appointment was 10am so that gave time for them to kick in. We went in at 10am and they talked through what would happen and then drew the curtain around so I could get undressed on the bottom half and get into the weird chair with a sheet over me.
There were 3 of them and my husband in with me. One nurse was scanning my abdomen to give the other one the view on the screen of what she was doing while she carried it out and then there was a doctor observing as well. I was given the gas and air and they encouraged me to use that while I had the anaesthetic injections to give me something to do as much as anything. For me those injections were fine, probably comparable with the dentist and nowhere near as painful as the ones I had in my big toe years ago before an ingrown toenail procedure, which (having never given birth) still stands at the second worst pain I ever had - tooth abscess being the worst! There were 4 of them but I only really felt the first 2. I say this not to dismiss anyone else’s experience and I know everyone’s pain threshold is different but if you’re reading this considering this option and the local anaesthetic injections are available to you then I hope it helps to make you less worried about that element - I’d built them up in my head and was quite anxious so it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
The whole procedure took longer than normal for me apparently, as my cervix did not want to open and she wanted to take her time. She had to use smaller tools and do it twice but with the anaesthetic though I could feel a lot it didn’t hurt. She said she would normally rather get the lining down by about another 1mm or so but decided to stop where she did to be on the safe side. She also had to spend a few mins holding gauze over my cervix which bled which I think is unusual but apparently my cervix is extremely vascular so there’s something you don’t expect to learn about yourself! I also learnt I have a retroverted uterus so this has been an educational week!
During the whole thing there was a lot of small talk, dizzy from gas and air I was chatty, mostly to distract myself and there were even moments of laughter which sounds really inappropriate now I say it but I do tend to use awkward humour as a coping mechanism. At the end they left us so I could sit and get my head ready to stand up (I’d really gone to town on the gas and air and felt really light headed towards the end). They left me with a stack of wipes and mega pads so once it was just me I cleaned myself up and got dressed. One more antibiotic tablet and a chat with them and we were out and home.
I’m now in my sofa nest with a cup of tea. There’s a fair bit of bleeding like a heavy period which they told me to expect (especially as I’ve still got lining to pass) and I think the anaesthetic is wearing off as it’s a bit crampy but nothing worse than a period pain so far. I feel really tired but I didn’t sleep well last night and this has been so full on emotionally I suspect that’s also relief to have got to this point.
Sorry this is so long, I really wanted to explain my experience in the hope it helps someone else to feel reassured about this option if they choose it but I probably should have warned you all to grab a cup of tea before you started reading! Sending so much love to you all xxxx