Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@Seasalt1984 Thanks for sharing your experiences. I hope you're able to get plenty of rest over the next few days.

@MrsD1992 It did happen naturally so now I'm waiting for the negative test (and as you say hopefully a positive soon after)!

@AMS19 Such a good idea to hide all the pregnancy books. I need to call the hospital to cancel the scan appointment but I can't bring myself to do it at the moment. It sounds like you have a really positive focus and I'm trying to work towards that.

@Scottishskifun I'm thinking of you and I hope you had a better night.

@LauraT94 well done for going to work. I worked the day after I found out about the MMC. Didn't see much point not logging on and just sitting around. But I am wfh which makes it all much easier to deal with.

@Seasalt1984 I can only imagine. Just be patient with yourself emotionally too. I have good days and bad days, although none of my bad days have been that bad so not sure if at some point it will all come pouting out!

I'm back to work today. Feel okay about it but feel completely demotivated. Like, I really couldn't care less about my job anymore. I guess my priorities have changed now, but it all feels so pointless. Anyone had that? I now just want to keep my head down and get through the work as quickly as possible so I can log off and go back into my little bubble with my husband. I have such an intense job at times not sure having that attitude really works! But again, so grateful for being at home full time at the moment

Wishing everyone a happy hump day xx

@Redfoxinthesnow my EPU doctor said they would cancel all my appointments for me so you might not need to!

@AMS19 hope your first day back to work goes smoothly. I had a few ups and downs first day back with booking leave and courses I thought I didn’t need to worry about I suddenly found myself having to think about and organise. If that happens to you just remember that you will get your time and you will have your maternity leave to look forward to, it just wasn’t meant to be last time xxx

@Seasalt1984 thank you so much for sharing your positive experience with the medical management. It wasn’t too much information at all and I think anyone reading this thread now and in years to come it will really help them make both emotionally and practically, thinking of you xxxx

@Seasalt1984 I’m sorry if that last post came across as insensitive relating to your experience as being positive. What I meant was it was in terms of being successful and you were able to pass the sac with minimal pain and by no means that is was an enjoyable experience for you xxxx

Thanks @DMT1982 I'm going to book some holiday to look forward to and ignore any possibility of pregnancies now. That way we have various trips post covid to keep us going whatever is happening. I'm hoping from June holidays might actually happen 🤞🤞🤞 can't put my life on hold any longer just in case I might be pregnant xx

@AMS19 just reading your post from yesterday (I was trying to catch up between work stuff) yes I work in public services so we are not allowed to fully work from home and still have to go in from time to time. I don’t mind as I can walk to work and as long as there are not loads of people in the office it’s fine, we have a rota now so that also helps with minimising the worry of us all being in the same office together at once. Xx

@AMS19 yes having things booked in the diary definitely gives you something to focus on and look forward to. We’ve just cancelled our holiday in May because they kept changing our accommodation so we have asked for a refund but will still keep the week off and see where the world is at come that time. Also in September we are holidaying in this country so unless the wheel comes off with Covid again we will hopefully get away. I know no one knows but I would bloody hope that come June you’ll have the green light to get away. I have been reading up on the vaccine and won’t be having it due of trying again in a few months as it’s just not worth the unknown risk to the baby but that’s a personal choice for me.

Did you book the spa for a few months time?? Xx

@AMS19 I hope your first day back goes well. I feel demotivated too- I work in education so everything is a real mess and I don't have the mental energy for it. I thought work would prove a distraction but I feel like it's taking over and I only seem to be interested in reading about miscarriage prevention at the moment.

@DMT1982 Fingers crossed you'll be able to go on holiday in May. I think I'll try and rebook our honeymoon (for the third time) which will give us something to focus on.

@dmt1982 we haven't booked the spa purely because I have no idea if it will be open. It is first Sunday in March so given the lockdown isn't even being lifted until mid Feb, we could well be in tier 4 and therefore not able to go anyway! I think all plans in the first half of 2021 will have to be last minute. I'm keeping the date free though just in case.

@Redfoxinthesnow oh god yeah I can only imagine how stressful that is! I'm an accountant so Jan/Feb is super busy with financial results reporting, but I just don't care anymore 😂😂 when you don't care about the work you are doing it makes it very hard to focus and be a busy as you need to be...
I'm just praying by next Jan/Feb I'll be on mat leave 🤞🤞🤞🙏🙏🙏 xx

@Redfoxinthesnow I’m a firm believer in 3rd time lucky so get that honeymoon booked 🙌🙌 yes education is upside down isn’t it the same as public services so I feel your pain. Also I can totally relate to not being interested in work and just want to get pregnant and move on with the next exciting chapter in our lives which is all consuming. I don’t think reading up on things is bad because you are educating yourself on simple things that could possibly be overlooked when it comes to miscarriage prevention. I know we can never take away all risks as that’s impossible however by changing a few things and educating ourselves we are doing as much as we can to minimise risks of suffering another one xx

@AMS19 ah I see that was March for the spa, yes keep the time booked off but like you say nowhere is open so impossible to book anything. I hate January and February as it’s cold and miserable, roll on March because last year we had glorious sunshine.
Keep believing you will on maternity leave this next year and I’ll happen xxx

Just going to put this here. With lots of negativity in the world at the mo something I need to try and do each day. x

Hello everyone.

Hope you are all doing okay, or as okay as you can right now.

Thanks for checking in the other day @AMS19 - I have been reading the thread but trying to keep my screen time down as it feeds my anxiety and I end up googling constantly!

Today is one week from my MVA under GA and I have the tiniest of pink spotting left, no pain to speak of apart from some mornings if my bladder is really full I get a bloated type achey pain in what feels like my uterus, but it goes pretty quickly once I've been for a wee!

Back to exercising in my wee garage gym and getting my 10k steps in with the dog so feeling physically much better!

I have just done a CB weeks and an FRER to check my levels and the CB is down to 2-3 (yay) but the FRER still pretty strong! Happy its going in the right direction but I think I'll be on the higher end of how long it takes levels to drop like @TheDaydreamBelievers. Going to wait two weeks before I test again.

Mentally I think I'm pretty good, my mind wanders sometimes but I had a gut feeling I wasn't gonna get my July baby all along, I just couldn't picture it so I think in some ways I had prepared myself. Just hoping I get a period soon so we can try again. I've got in my head end of Feb we'll be hopefully trying again so working towards that.

Sorry for the big long essay just wanted to give a wee update.

Sorry to everyone who's recently joined the thread, it's a horrible time, I was there, but it will get better and you will come out of the other side.

hello everyone! I'm with you Lamby- been googling so much my head was spinning, I had to have a strong word with myself and said- the odds are on your side, 'knowing it all' won't change your outcome. I was obsessing when TTC last time too, it took us 5 cycles and I was soooo ridiculously worried, it was all-consuming. If I want to be a mum I have to let go of the fake control as I can imagine once you have a baby in your arms there's 100s of things a day you worry about. I want this journey to be about my husband and me, and I want to make it more joyful - after all it does take sex to make it happen ;)

Lamby- I had that bladder sensation post-mva too! it hurt quite a bit before morning wee, for a week maybe. And even when sitting down, then I had a bleed and spotted for 3 weeks (similar to the very last day of period). It all stopped now, only just and had a negative test this morning which made me feel so much better. Really dreaded seeing two lines...My body came to terms I'm no longer pregnant and I feel grateful for what it's been through and recovered. I still have sad, tearful days but I am in a much better place! Will try again after my next period or two- for now, gentle, gentle days and breathing...Love to all xx

@dmt1982 thanks for kind words, I agree it felt like a kind of positive from a horrible situation as I was just desperate for it to be resolved. I certainly didn't read it as insensitive comment at all 🧡 xxx

@ams19 I know what you mean re work. I'm off this week which is good but really not looking forward to next week. My job usually requires a high level of compassion and I feel like I've got nothing left to give anyone else at the moment (which sounds awful)! Ugh. But you're right, taking things a day at a time and trying to plan some nice things in for later in the year is a great idea to get through first few weeks xxx

Hi all, adding myself to the group. Fairly sure I miscarried yesterday, had bleeding, painful cramps and passed large clot. Due scan today to confirm.

@Redfoxinthesnow thanks I've been able to eat today first time this week so feeling a bit better. My body still feels exhausted pretty sure it's from the amount of blood I lost.

I just want to escape to the hills with my skis but they are shut til Feb and looks like slim chance of booking a ski holiday this year!

We had the police at our door this morning my neighbour had reported my mum being here (joys of small town sometimes). My mum and husband dealt with them very well and explained the bits of legislation which gave her the exemptions on 3 different grounds (my DH does covid response so deals with legislation daily).

They then went to speak to the neighbour and told her off for wasting police time. Safe to say she's off the Christmas card list!

@Lililou sorry you find yourself on this thread and you’re possibly going through a miscarriage. That’s really good you have a scan later today because the not knowing and being in limbo is the worst and just makes what is a horrible experience even worse. I really hope that you are not miscarrying and the scan brings you good news. We are all here for you whatever the outcome. If you read the thread from the start we have all been through different procedures and have posted our experiences. Sending you lots of love xxxx

Forgot to say I'm also so impressed at all your positivity on this thread especially around TTC and wish you all the luck for future pregnancies.

We won't be TTC for quite a while despite me turning 35 this year I can't face this again with all the restrictions in place.

@elm7 lovely words thanks for sharing ❤

@Pettylamby good to hear from you. I'm so glad everything seems to beovimg in the right direction. I think I'll be the same as you test wise, not expecting a negative one for 4 weeks I'm reality. My spotting is almost non existent now, just the odd bit now and again
I think February sounds realistic and only next month, so not too long away 🙂

@mia2201 that is great news on the negative test!! Im so pleased for you, another hurdle passed. I think it is right to take it day by day and just see how you feel. You've made great progress so hopefully all mote positive from here. I think you might be our first lady to get the negative test!! May this your last BfN for a while

@Seasalt1984 I think we just only have so much emotion we can give at any one time, and right now that is all consumed with ourselves (and rightly so). I'm sure in a few weeks we will be feeling more focused. That or we will be pregnant again and even more demotivated than we are now 😂😂

@Lililou I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your scan. Keep us updated

@Scottishskifun omg!!! I cant believe your neighbour did that. I'm absolutely horrified. If it were me I'd be straight over to make them feel terrible, but I'm not usually the bigger person in these situations! I'm sorry you've had that extra stress, but glad it has all been dealt with. Eating is great, one day at a time

Xx

@Scottishskifun thats just what you needed the police to attend (i am very shocked they have and even had time to knock on a normal persons door to follow up such a report!)

Two fingers up to your neighbours as you never know what is going on behind closed doors. I would understand if you had a party going on or visitors to your house everyday but you don’t! Also great your husband and mum dealt with it well and the police were able to realise you are not flouting any laws and told your busy body neighbours to stop wasting their time! They will now be the embarrassed ones when you see them next!

Pleased you are able to eat a little today and yes with the amount of blood you lost it will take time to recover. Make sure you’re eating lots of food rich in iron and drinking a glass of fresh orange juice once a day (not from concentrate) with the iron rich food for it to absorb (don’t drink with coffee as it won’t absorb) xxx

@AMS19 ok so today is the day I decided to start researching replacing all the plastics with glass....looks like I’ll need to remortgage the house lol!! My husband isn’t keen (over text) however I’ve told him it’s happening so it will be (happy wife equals a happy life!)

Where have you bought yours from if you have bought any? Xxx

Thank you, AMS :) little did I know a negative test could be good news too... hope you get one soon too. When is your 3 week mark, did they say to test after 3 weeks? xx