Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@ams19 thats really interesting! I am 33 as well so I might have a look into it. I am currently taking Omega 3 tablets along with folic acid and vit D...so I might look into getting some to add to the list. One thing I didnt do, is take pregnacare once I had concieved, maybe I need to consider taking that next time so I have all the proper nutrients I need?

@scottishskifun I am so sorry to hear that, that sounds horrendous. Sending you lots of hugs and love. xxx

@DMT1982 I always feel that something is better than nothing and its so important to listen to our bodies and do what is best, there is no rush to jump straight back into how active we were before and you will know better than anyone else what is too much and what isnt enough. My gosh the sponge muffin sounds good right about now!! I put on 10lb over xmas and new years and while I am not actively TTC this month, I am making the most of trying to drop that weight so I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight (sounds so wierd to say that!)

@redfoxinthesnow absolutely, I hope he is also doing as well as he can be!

@CookieMonster3001 I did continue with pregnacare just switched from the pre conception ones to normal pregnancy ones. The first week of being pregnancy I could eat so healthy, then the nausea hit and it was game over. I ate the most rubbish bland food so needed the nutrients from the tablets. I'll stop the Ubiquinol once pregnant, not that is does any harm, just not sure it does much good once the egg has been released!! X

Thanks ladies I really didn't want this trauma it's why I wanted surgery. Only saving grace was that my toddler managed to sleep through it all before I went to hospital.

I lost over a pint of blood and had a clot stuck which was why I kept bleeding so heavily. I actually only called the unit because I'm O- and wasn't sure if I needed a anti D injection but glad I did as they were able to help and monitored me for 12 hours.

For now I'm doing short little things with my toddler whilst my mum looks after him. It's going to be a very long road.

Hi all, I’m new to mumsnet and Ive just came across this thread as I think it will really help me.
Firstly, I am so sad to read that so many of you have had such awful experiences - it’s sad how many people it happens to so regularly!
On 27/12/20 I had an early scan due to spotting since 24/12/20 and heard the dreaded words that no one wants to hear ‘I’m really sorry there’s no heartbeat’. I was supposed to be 11 weeks and the heartbeat had stopped at 8 weeks. I was told it was a missed miscarriage and the likelihood was that the pregnancy got to a certain point, stopped and then shrunk down to the size of 8 weeks gestation. I was ALONE when I was told this sad news and had to wait until I could leave the hospital to deliver the news to my worried husband waiting outside.
I also miscarried a couple of years ago.
I have spent the last week resting and recovering and we both feel we don’t want to waste any time and we want to start TTC right away. I wondered if anyone with a similar experience knows much about ovulation afterwards? Will I ovulate earlier than I did before or is it likely I will ovulate around the same time? Will I ovulate at all? I’ve also seen mixed theories that you count the day of your miscarriage as day 1 of your cycle, some say you count the last day of your bleeding as day 1. I am left very confused and just want to give myself the best chance at trying again.
Sorry for the essay!! Any advice or support is welcome!

Lots of love
Jen x

@Scottishskifun it sounds awful!! But worst is over now lovely. Cuddle your todler tight when you are ready and start to recover. We are all here for you

Hi @MrsD1992 really sorry to hear your news. It is so hard to comprehend you've spent that time thinking everything is okay. It kills me!
So this is what I was told by my consultant:
You definitely should not have sex in the first 2 weeks or whilst there is any bleeding as it is very highly likely you will get an infection
You are very unlikely ovulate whilst you have more than 5ml/u of HCG, so basically you won't ovulate until you get a negative FRER. Once your HCG is less than 5 your body may ovulate straight away, or it may wait until after a period.
So...I'm waiting until at least 2 weeks and a negative FRER but then most likely trying again straight away.

In terms of CD1, I would use the day you miscarried as a guide but ultimately it won't be a normal cycle until you have a proper period/the HCG is completely gone

Hope thay helps!

Xx

Hi @AMS19 Thank you so much for your quick response! I’ve just got the cheap pregnancy test strips at home currently and using those to get a negative result. Reading the leaflet that comes with it it says it will only pick up HCG of 20mIU and above - so even if I get a negative result I won’t know how much lower than 20 it is? What would you recommend? Getting a blood test or a different pregnancy test?

Thank you xx

@mrsd1992 I'm so sorry this happened to you again.

I'm not 100% sure but I've read that the first day of full bleeding with complete miscarriage can count as first day of period. This might explain why some people conceive without having a first period after miscarriage. Someone else might well know more though!!

Thoughts with you

Oh just seen @ams19 reply now with really helpful response! Thanks for sharing! x

@MrsD1992 I would personally either you a First Response Early Reponse which is 6ml/u or buy some cheaper more sensitive ones. I got these, then when these go negative will test with the First Response

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0026RQ75W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_Mul9FbBZYWFP1?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

The issue if you don't get a complete negative one is you can't be sure if any lines in future are leftover tissue from this pregnancy or a new pregnancy. So personally would advise getting a bit know sensitive xx

Thank you @AMS19 that’s really helpful I shall do that! How are you feeling after your operation? Are you still waiting for a negative test?

Sending hugs 🤗

@MrsD1992 no worries at all lovely 😊
I'm okay. I have waves of feeling sad and every milestone is painful. Tomorrow should have been 12 weeks, next week should have been my scan. So all those feel so sad and painful. Physically I'm okay though. Have the smallest bit of spotting now. I took a test today, still very dark but much lighter than previous. I'm really hoping by the end of the 2 weeks it will be very light/negative as like you we are so keen to start again.

How are you doing emotionally? How is your husband? Xx

@AMS19 Ah I know the feeling it’s rubbish! My 12 week scan should have been yesterday - it was a very sad day that should have been such a happy day 😔 I’m also similar to you, my bleeding seems to be coming to the end now and I’ve taken a couple of tests which the last one is fainter than the first one. I’m doing ok now, it’s been 9 days and I feel my body has fully recovered and I feel very ready to try again, but the week following the miscarriage was hard and I was very up and down emotionally. My husband was very upset watching me miscarry. I had the medication to pass it and home and he hated seeing me in that state and in pain. But we are both trying to focus on TTC again and to be the healthiest we can be for this xx

@MrsD1992 I think the men feel so hopeless. My husband felt awful I had to go through such a painful MVA process and spending 2 days in hospital alone.
Was this your first pregnancy? We just have to hold onto the fact this is part of our journey and we will get our little rainbow babies, and get to experience all those milestones. I'm really hoping this thread turns from pain and worry to happiness and babies. It is awful how many of us are going through this. But we can help each other get by and in a few weeks the positive pregnancy tests should coming rolling through the door 🙂❤ xx

@MrsD1992 I'm sorry that you have to join this thread. Being alone when hearing bad news is so challenging, covid has made it so much harder. I'm in a similar position to you & I'm not sure when to start trying again, the information is confusing.

On that note, @AMS19 thanks for giving such a useful overview and I hope tomorrow isn't too emotionally painful. I received a message about my 12 week scan tomorrow which really upset me.

@Scottishskifun I hope you're feeling a little better.

@Redfoxinthesnow oh no I'm sorry you got that message. I really wish things were more joint up. I made my husband stash away my pregnancy books so they are out of sight. I'm just focusing all my energy of getting myself in the best possible shape for a pregnancy. I've done workouts 2 days in a row, only 15 minutes but my god do I ache! Trying to eat healthy and take all these supplements. Now I just need that negative test! May we see a river of negative tests followed by a river of positive tests 🤞 xx

@Seasalt1984 how you doing my love? Xx

@ams19 thanks for checking in. Essay coming up...I can't believe I'm sharing this but meds seem to have worked and so far been quite straightforward (if I'm honest, not what I was expecting at all). I followed advice and put meds in first thing this morning at 7am. Then slept for a few hours as felt really exhausted generally (not from meds). Had mild/mod period pains over the day but nothing too bad, just took a couple of paracetamol. Got to 4.30pm and no bleeding so thought "this isn't going to work". Stood up from sofa at 5pm and felt something come out, went to loo and saw pregnancy sac in its full form on towel. Surprised/shocked/flooded with relief and sadness. Crazy, bizarre and slightly out of body experience. Really helpfully, my sis used to work in obs/gynae and she confirmed from photo that it was the sac. Jelly-like ball the size of a pickled onion (saw that description on another board and its pretty accurate). This was swiftly followed by a lot of bleeding/big clots and feeling sick (possibly shock!!).

I hope this isn't TMI, I just really wanted to share in the hopes this might help anyone about to go through/ thinking about med management. I wasn't expecting it to work but guess goes to show in some cases it can. Although I know of cases where outcome not been the same for sure. Going to see how next couple of days play out with bleeding but hoping it's very much closer to resolving so we can move forward 🤞🙏

@AMS19 They really do it’s awful for them too! 😔 that’s awful you were alone too! COVID is such a pain! This is my second pregnancy I miscarried a couple of years ago - same thing where I had to have the medication so I knew what was coming and I knew I was in for a rough night unfortunately. Yes how wonderful would that be for it to turn into everyone’s positive pregnancy stories and eventually pictures of the babies 🥰🥰 xx

Hi @Redfoxinthesnow sorry to hear you have also been through the same thing - and only two days after me! Did you miscarry naturally? It’s awful so many of us have to go through it but I’m so glad I found this thread I find it so helpful and comforting! Sending hugs 🤗 once the MC is all over for us hopefully we get our BFP soon and it’s a positive outcome!

Oh wow @Seasalt1984 bless you!! You sound so incredibly calm given what you've been through. Really hoping it has done the job, sounds really "positive" though. Well done you for getting through this and being so brave. You should be so incredibly proud of yourself. Not sure if I could have done what you've done, I'm proud of you xx

@MrsD1992 I've got a good feeling for all of us!! Xx

@MrsD1992 just to say (sorry to be voice of doom) that whilst you can get a negative from 2 weeks after, it can take a lot longer. I'm currently 5 weeks after surgery and still getting positive FRERs (but ever decreasing)

(Just so you dont worry if its still positive after a couple of weeks)

@Seasalt1984 thank you so much for sharing your experience! You've made it sound manageable (although still horrendous I am sure). Did they give you the pessaries? I was reading about it and apparently the oral tablets can make you sick but I wasn't sure if they'd give you pessaries to have at home!

@AMS19 thanks for the link to the sensitive ICs, I've just ordered some with a load of other tests too! Used all of mine up with this pregnancy 😬

@Scottishskifun I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed! It sounds like a horrific experience but I hope you can start to heal now ❤️

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm sorry you're still getting positives. Hopefully they turn to BFNs soon! It's crazy how we can switch from wanting BFPs to BFNs.

I went to work today as I thought there was no point taking time off work before the MC has even started. I'm beyond exhausted but don't feel tired... I don't know if that makes sense?! Normally I'm first to bed but OH has just given up and gone without me. I started on the raspberry leaf tea this evening so I'm hoping that has an effect soon!

Thanks @ams19 I'm feeling ok, obviously been very up and down these couple of weeks so will see how tomorrow goes. Just really strange still can't quite get my head round this all happening. Finding this feed so helpful though.

@laurat94 Glad it was helpful. They didn't give me pessaries, I was given 4 tablets (about size of round paracetamol) some lube and a couple of medical gloves! Hosp didn't recommend taking orally because of high liklihood of sickness/tummy trouble. I was feeling really anxious before putting them in as felt like a lot of responsibility and seemed a bit too "DIY"!! But was ok, did one at a time lying down. I'm sure some settings give pessaries, seems to vary between NHS trusts!