Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@LauraT94 oh I don't leave the flat anyway, it is too dangerous in London. But really would rather avoid actually having the thing! Was from when I was in hospital for my procedure. Guess it was always likely wasn't it!

@TheDaydreamBelievers yeah im not sure what I've done but clearly was due some bad luck!

Sorry to hear that you won't get the surgery.

I'm unsure if I will make it til Wednesday I have continuous cramps and some mucousy blood not sure if its cervix or not. I have a pre-op meeting at the hospital tomorrow so will see what they say. They did offer medical management in the hospital as well so if not possible then that's my second plan. I can't face my toddler being about.

My mum arrived from England to help with childcare and me care. She was stopped by the police but explained and they agreed its an exemption to travel.
Just don't know what I will say to the neighbours as she says she will stay a few days after to help out.
I still haven't been able to hug her or my husband I can't face the sympathy and will break.

@Seasalt1984 ah thank you. I for one would really appreciate if you update us as you go, and I'm sure others would too! So I'd say go for it if you feel able to. And yes the walk was just what I needed ❤️

@AMS19 yes of course, no one wants that!

@Scottishskifun I'm so glad you have the extra support of your mum to stay. If neighbours question her being there, I would say it's a medical emergency and refuse to give any other details! Nosy parkers!

Evening ladies, thank you @AMS19 for directing me to this thread!

So sorry to everyone who has had a MC or MMC... I recently miscarried at 6 weeks. Thankfully for me, it was not too painful..more like a really heavy period. I had a scan today at the EPU to confirm it was all complete and that my hormones are low so I am expecting to ovulate soon. Not 100% sure if I want to wait until my period or not, so me and OH have decided to just go with the flow and what feels natural and see how it goes.

@Seasalt1984 yeah keep us updated. We will be here for you through it all as a sounding board as much as you need it!!

@Scottishskifun absolutely do not worry about the neighbours. Childcare is a legitimate reason and hopefully will help. I'm so so sorry you're feeling so vulnerable and delicate. It is the worst thing to go through. Sending you so much love!!

@CookieMonster3001 it is great your levels are low. Unfortunately I was 11 weeks by the time I had my MVA so my HCG would have been through the roof. They said it should take about 4 weeks for mine to go back, but hoping it might be quicker!
We are also going with the flow. I'm not actively trying (OPKs / BBT tracking) until after my first period, whenever that may be! But will have unprotected sex as soon as we get a negative pregnancy test xx

Well surgery under general is booked for Wednesday morning which is sooner than I thought. So ready to have it over with now... it's so many weeks since we found out it was a mmc. Really hope it's the right decision. The nurse today said I would be able to discuss my worries with the consultant beforehand, so that's good.

@AMS19 I love that idea that our bodies are protecting those little ones. Also I totally hadn't put two and two together with the pregnancy insomnia... makes sense of all those 4am wake-ups where my head starts to spin. That is terrible luck about the isolation. For goodness' sake!!! Just when you need to start feeling a bit normal again.

@Scottishskifun this happened to me too. Really swollen tummy by the evening, tickly feelings like I had with my DD, it's so sad. I understand how you feel about not being able for it with your toddler there. My mum had to come today for the first time in many, many months to look after DD while I was at the EPU and I almost felt guilty for it.

@Seasalt1984 I'm sorry that you haven't been able to have the option you might have wanted. Sending strength to get you through this next bit. Agree with lots of treats for when it's all over.

@LauraT94 I'm so sorry, the stop start thing is beyond frustrating. It's such a good idea to get out in the fresh air... you are so lucky to live by the sea, it is so calming.

@CookieMonster3001 glad to hear you're feeling close to ovulating. I'm going to try very hard to go with the flow... DH thinks we wait at least two cycles but I'm so aware of time passing.

We are going to go private for the recurrent miscarriage clinic to try to get things in place for next time as the wait for the NHS referral is likely to be very long due to Covid. I'll be back on Wednesday morning looking for very firm handholds. Xx

@glowingtwig Wednesday isn't too far away at all!! I think surgery was the right choice for you, hopefully this time next week the bleeding will have stopped and you'll be feeling much better physically xx

@glowingtwig I'm pleased it's been scheduled so quickly & I hope you're able to speak to the consultant beforehand.

@CookieMonster3001 welcome to the thread, I also miscarried at 6 weeks and it sounds like we've had very similar experiences. How are you coping emotionally? I've found it such a rollercoaster.

The pain is ramping up quite significantly now but no major bleeding I have the appointment in the morning so going to see what they say if it's likely to be too late on Wednesday for surgery

Paracetamol isn't touching the pain so think I'm in for a long night. I have a hot water bottle in the hope it helps

@Scottishskifun how are you this morning? Xx

I’ll just pop this here girl, it’s for us all, don’t give up hope xx

@AMS19 what a nightmare you’ve now got to self isolate. You couldn’t write it could you! Keep doing your workouts and going back to work tomorrow will help. We are all kind of self isolating in a way now we are back in a national lockdown so put a positive spin on it that now is probably the best time to be isolating as there is literally nowhere to go anyways and it happened after your procedure so that’s another good thing 🙌🙌 xxx

@Scottishskifun really hope you're okay lovely and you've managed to get some sleep!

@DMT1982 those are lovely words. We definitely have to cling onto this was meant to be and one day it will be clear why. If all this brings me to my little baby then it will be worth every second.
The self isolation is absolutely fine, to be honest my husband and I don't really leave anyway, we even get weekly supermarkets deliveries (did pre covid so lucky for us they haven't been impacted). It is most the worry of catching it. We have been SO careful this whole year, always sticking to the rules and knowing we absolutely couldn't have it hiding away at home, and now I hate I've been exposed. Will just have to pray my husband and I dont get any symptoms 🤞🤞🤞 I feel like 2021 owes me a bit of luck!

@AMS19 we have all got one or two things owed to us from 2021 🙌🙌
If you can get through a MVA with no pain relief I massively fancy your chances against Covid 💪🏻💪🏻

It’s typical though isn’t it, you’re so careful and do everything by the book but still get zapped with a track and trace 🤦‍♀️ Ultimately it’s nothing you’ve done wrong and this disease of everywhere so we are all sitting ducks!

I usually run and do a couple of HIT/strength sessions a week but I can’t seem to muster up the energy at the moment. This is very unlike me and even if I’m hungover I will push myself to do something. I am listening to my body though and resting, no drinking during the week (although dry January just went out the window for most of the country last night with the lockdown announcement!!)

I’ve called the doctors today and asked for the doctor to book me in for a thyroid test so hoping she does that as she knows about the two miscarriages. Started the egg book last night. It’s so interesting isn’t it and gives me hope already with her experience and improving her eggs. I want to read it quickly as it says for older women (I have just turned 38) she recommends implementing changes for 3 months before TTC. It’s also very interesting about how 70% of pregnancies end in miscarriages if you count the very early ones that we usually know nothing about due to chromosome issues. Thanks so much for recommending 👍
Xxx

@dmt1982 yeah so frustrating I came into contact at the hospital. I dont usually leave the flat at all, during the first lockdown we didn't leave, even for a walk, for 9 weeks! We were just enjoying our own outside space, we have a huge terrace onto the river, so that helped. I've actually only left the flat 4 times in the last 6 weeks, and 3 of them where pregnancy related!

Yeah the book is great isn't it! I could see how you could get carried away but I'm trying to just make small changes and not do anything extreme. I'm tempted by fertility testing but might wait and see if we fall pregnant as easily and if that one sticks. If not, I'm only one miscarriage away from getting help on the NHS (such a sad way to look at it). The main one I've learnt is Ubiquinol, so I would definitely start taking that ASAP. No matter what else you do/don't do, that seems to be the given one to try. As you get further along the chapters are quite specific to conditions so not all relevant, but im still listening to it just out of interest.
Also great news on the thyroid! Make sure they test for the antibodies too not just the TSH levels and that is the one important for fertility and miscarriage!

Also...I may have caved and taken a pregnancy test today. It is definitely much lighter than my peak HCG test, but could be hook effect so need to be patient and sit on my hands and wait 😂😂😂😂 I always was a POAS addict! Xx

@DMT1982 that passage is so powerful, thanks for sharing it. I tried to be proactive yesterday and contacted my GP and ordered some vitamins which has really helped my mental state if nothing else, I felt so helpless when it happened. I completely relate to what you say about exercise, I normally cycle everywhere but I can't bring myself to cycle at all - and irrationally I'm wondering whether it caused the miscarriage (I know there's no link but I can't stop myself thinking over all my actions).

@AMS19 that's awful luck on top of everything else and I hope you don't get symptoms. At least it doesn't make any difference to everyday life at the moment.

@Scottishskifun I hope you've managed to get some rest

@Scottishskifun hope your feeling a bit better today and you managed to rest up!

@Redfoxinthesnow definitely a rollercoaster. Me and OH were talking about this last night after I had a little cry following my scan and I do feel like I have managed to cope with it quite well emotionally. Whilst I have cried quite a lot, I always had a bit of a gut feeling after palling pregnant that something didn't feel quite right. My sister is pregnant and was literally 3 days ahead of me, and I never felt the way she felt symptoms wise and while everyone was telling me every woman is different, I think I just knew deep down something was going to happen and as soon as I saw my CB weeks go down from 2-3 to 1-2 I knew it. So I kinda had quite a lot of time to get my head around what was happening and it wasn't so much of a shock. My OH is quite pragmatic and has dealt with it amazingly. He has honestly been my rock and has made me look at the positive side of things. Now that its all over, I feel much more positive and hoping to catch quite quickly (they say you are more fertile after a MC but not sure if this is true?!) How have you been coping?

@DMT1982 thank you for those amazing words. Don't worry about exercise at the moment. I am the same and usually do 3 HIIT workouts a week and some strength workouts in between, but at the moment all I can do is walk a couple of times a day. The fresh air does make me feel better and at least I am getting some steps in, but just do what feels best for you.

@AMS19 Hope you are doing well! I know the feeling of being scared to catch it. Its spreading so quickly that I think I am actually more scared now than I was at the beginning. My little sister works in a hospital and has said they are at complete max capacity which really worries me! The annoying thing is, when I go out to do my essential shop (the only time I leave the house other than for exercise) and I feel like people just don't really care!! They socially distance outside, but as soon as they are in, its like they don't really care! Constantly feel like im playing dodgeball and people just look at me weirdly when I am waiting patiently to get to something and there in the way! What does ubiquinol do if you don't mind me asking, I have heard that a couple of times but not really looked into it.

@CookieMonster3001 Ubiquinol basically reserves any egg damage from older age and improves egg quality. So you're less likely to get an egg with chromosomal abnormalities. It is very expensive, I'm paying £80 for 3 months worth, but I have to feel like I'm doing everything I can right now. I'm 33, so not old, but still the wrong side of 30, so thought it was best to do everything I can. So taking my pregnacare before conception, extra folic acid and Ubiquinol. The reality is it might not even make a difference, but mentally I have to feel like something is different this time or I'll lose my mind with anxiety if I get pregnant again
I also knew deep down something wasn't right. Baby was always a week behind, and when you know the day you ovualted, it just doesn't add. I just keep thinking, even if he had survived, it would have obviously had issues and problems so this was for the best xx

Hi ladies sadly my not being awake didn't happen I miscarried last night ended up in the hospital due to excessive bleeding. I lost a lot of blood, had a procedure was prepped for different surgery incase the procedure didn't work but thankfully so far it has.

I'm very tired very sore and very emotional. I lost the baby at home in the shower and was able to hold it in my hands for a few minutes.

I still can't face food at the moment so sticking with my cold water.

@scottishskifun I'm so sorry. Sending love and thoughts to you. I hope you now get a chance to rest and heal physically and emotionally. Take it easy and be kind to yourself xxx

@AMS19 I can totally relate to being addicted to testing, I tested every day during the last pregnancy because of the loss early on before. I now have no tests left in the house otherwise I would 100% do one so don’t beat yourself up about doing one.

Thanks so much for the heads up on the thyroid testing for antibodies as I would not have known that and will specifically ask for that along with the other thyroid tests.

That is the law of sod you caught it in hospital but I suppose it’s the riskiest place at the moment.

That sounds lush that you have outside space with lovely views. It makes being stuck in that little bit easier being able to safely spend some time outside.

This Ubiquinol, is it worth taking it in the months before TTC as I’ve not got that far into the book so read what is recommended? I think £80 for 3 months isn’t too bad because it’s easy to spend that on coffee every month going into the office and with lockdown that won’t happen so it’s an investment. I agree about feeling better that you’ve done everything within your power to help your eggs and any future pregnancy and that will also help with any anxiety which we are all going to have when we fall pregnant.

That’s also how I am getting my head around things. The baby would have suffered and so would we as parents if they was something wrong so it’s natures way of safeguarding both baby and parents.

@CookieMonster3001 that’s reassuring to hear that you’re usually an active person but have also been struggling. I’ve been on walks and that’s it but like you say the fresh air makes you feel better and we are at least stretching our legs. I have walked to and from the office today (30 mins fast pace one way) and my hips and back really ache. I still think I have that relaxin I think it’s called in my system from being pregnant and everything isn’t as supported as it was before so maybe it’s best I’m not as active as usual.

Currently sat scoffing a mini Victoria sponge muffin with a cuppa, I’m not going to lie, I am in heaven 😂 xx

@Scottishskifun sending you the biggest warm hug. What you’ve been through and are still going through it’s so traumatic ams heartbreaking. Take your time, your appetite will come back, you need to rest and give your body and mind time to process what has happened. Sending you lots of love xxxx

@Scottishskifun poor you, I'm so sorry. I hope you're resting well and being looked after.
@CookieMonster3001 I'm glad your OH has been so supportive, mine's been great too although I keep on telling him to look after himself instead of worrying about me too much. I only knew I was pregnant for 2 weeks when it all happened so I was still feeling elated when the bleeding started; I've been feeling very confused about it all.
@AMS19 Ubiquinol sounds like a great idea, I'll add it to my list.

@Scottishskifun oh my that sounds absolutely awful and heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry you've gone through that. As hard as this has been I really hope you can now move forward. Be patient with yourself, you've been through some absolutely awful, worse than I can ever imagine. Make sure you get support too from professionals if you need it. Take each day by day and get lots of rest. Sending you so much love and virtual hugs right now

@DMT1982 yeah so you actually have to take it 3 months in advance for it to work! 200mg, twice a day, and after 3 months in makes a difference. Hence I have already started as I'm praying I won't even get to 3 months so wanted to crack. I did start off with 200mg which you can take, but decided to go for thr full 400mgs dose now and screw the money. It is an investment in my future and will hopefully also help the baby too, this is my method. I think it was quite an early chapter so reckon you'll read about it soon!

Do you still have to go into the office even during this lockdown? Nice it gets you out the flat though. In the spring it was fine not leaving the flat as every evening we would be on the terrace enjoying the sunshine (it is west facing so gets the sun from about 4pm all evening) which was amazing. But when it is dark, cold and raining we literally get no fresh air, so need to force ourselves out for more walks really

@Redfoxinthesnow the science seems to support it so I think worth a shot. Like I say, only if mentally!