Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

Sorry I did not make much sense! Friends who had the tablets then needed additional intervention

My best friend told me tonight that she is pregnant. Feeling happy for her but also very sad for me

@Scottishskifun this is my fear. It's been in there so long and has withstood so much blood loss and cramps... I just can't see how MM will get it out. I think I've decided surgery but I want a talk with the consultant first. Maybe it's a bit extra but I want them to be careful with me. (I'm sure they are anyway, with everyone). I want them to do the manual rather than the electric version as in my head it is gentler.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm so sorry. On the same day as I mc our first pregnancy BIL and SIL announced their pregnancy and it was heartbreaking timing.

@Dryshampoo32 oh lovely that sounds like absolute torture!! My baby was always measuring a week behind so deep down I knew something wasn't right. Hopefully they let you go with next steps tomorrow so you can just move it. The dragging out is awful. I found out on 21st I've lost it but didn't have my MVA until 31st so 10 days, including over Christmas with it still inside me. Was absolutely awful.

@Scottishskifun I'm so sorry. 14 weeks must have been terrible for you. Surgery definitely seems to be the best option from everyone who has had it. Hopefully you will get it done smoothly then can start to move on emotionally

You've both come to the right place. We can help you both get through this. It is totally shitty to go through this but all we can do is take it day by day

@TheDaydreamBelievers my best friend is also pregnant, 3 weeks ahead of me. So her due date is 3 weeks before mine would have been. Absolute killer!

@AMS19 I'm sure you are the same, that we talked about how great it would be if we were pregnant and on mat leave at the same time (we both knew the other was TTC). I think I'm sad to lose that too

@glowingtwig she found out in the days between finding out our baby had died and the surgery, so pretty awful timing! I am really happy for her though, just sad we arent in the same position

@TheDaydreamBelievers yeah unfortunately we both knew from before we were 4 weeks so the last 2 months have been spent making plans with the babies and baby showers etc. It is her virtual gender reveal in 2 weeks, absolutely heartbreaking. Obviously I'm excited she has the little one but I'm just praying I'm pregnant by the time the baby is born or I'm not sure emotionally how ill cope. I've already had to cut her off quite a bit during this which is so so sad

Sorry I've not even managed to read through everyone's posts yet. I've been trying to but I can't keep my mind straight on one thing!

I think my miscarriage is starting... Bad back ache and period cramps are starting and I've just passed some period type blood which is different to the watery pink type bleeding I've had so far.

None of my supplies have arrived from Amazon yet so I'm making do with an old cheap pad that I had in the back of the cupboard for emergencies! And lying on my black towel in bed. I feel all kinds of ridiculous and literally don't know how to feel?!

Is it bad I'm happy it's finally happening? And feeling guilty for feeling that because I know people can wait a lot longer. And scared in case this is a false start and it doesn't happen.

Sorry for just offloading and running again! I promise as soon as I can actually function properly I'll be on here offering support too!

@LauraT94 either way this is good. Either things are starting naturally which is great as best to get things sorted. Even if it isnt it means your body knows something is wrong and so hormones etc should be lowering and things will still be moving in the right direction.
Lay down a towel and wear some shorts to bed and that should do the trick xx

@LauraT94 Don’t feel bad about being happy your miscarriage is starting - I feel the same. The uncertainty and anxiety can be awful and many of us want to be able to move on. Hope it progresses quickly and safely for you and all is well soon.

Morning, I hope everyone is feeling ok. I'm back at work today which I hope will give me something else to focus on.
@LauraT94 It's completely understandable to want it over with when you know it is inevitable, I found the waiting period the hardest part. I hope you haven't been in too much pain overnight.
@AMS19 that's such difficult timing but it's only natural to feel like that. I had a sympathy message from a close friend who has two children and I found myself thinking some quite unpleasant things and I felt awful.

Was another false alarm and I can't help but feel gutted 😩 why does my body want to hang on?!

@AMS19 I do like the way you've put it that at least my body's probably realising something's off! I didn't get any nausea at all yesterday so I was so convinced that that was it and it would start.

@Dryshampoo32 thank you - it's nice to know I'm not alone! Fingers crossed it kicks in soon...

@Redfoxinthesnow thanks. Yes it's horrible when you know it's got to happen at some point, would rather just get it done!

@LauraT94 a lady on one of these threads put it so lovely. Our bodies are working so hard to protect our baby. And even when our baby isn't viable, it is lovely and reassuring our bodies want to do everything to keep them safe and protect them. My body had no idea the baby and gone, I lost the baby 4 weeks before my MVA and didn't even have spotting, sac continued to grow and symptoms got stronger. But once I read that that was how I thought about it, I was just making a lovely home. So hopefully with the next ones, isn't it great our body will do everything to protect them?! X

@AMS19 thanks I had no idea it had been 5 weeks since heartbeat stopped as I have still had all the symptoms my scan had been delayed due to a covid outbreak.

I feel like a fraud I even thought I was getting flutters and baby movements last week (I have a son so know what they feel like).

I'm glad that I won't have a long wait for surgery being sick still is a real kick in the gut for me. I still haven't been able to get out of bed I can't face everything being normal

@Scottishskifun I was the same. Had a scan at 6+6 and saw baby with a heartbeat. Symptoms massively picked up, was being sick or dry retching every morning and stomach was getting more and more bloated. There was me looking at my app showing my husband how it was growing. Based on what we found at 9+5, it is likely the baby died a day or two after that scan. Massive kick in the stomach to know I'd spent the last 3 weeks getting comfort in symptoms and hanging onto the "once you've seen a heartbeat the chances of miscarriage are so low". Mt symptoms stopped the day after my MVA, so the silver lining so after Wednesday you should feel so much better physically ❤❤

Morning ladies

Hope everyone is okay

I did a very light workout this morning (Emily Skye) and had a detox smoothie for breakfast and already feel mentally better. I'm not back at work until Wednesday so going to still have a pretty chilled time and hide from the rain. On the negative, my maternity exemption certificate arrived this morning. Deicded not to throw ahead but store in the hope it will still come into use at some point in the near future.

Hope everyone has a mentally and physically good day xx

Hi all, I had my follow up scan this morning and missed miscarriage was confirmed (which we were expecting). I'd been sure I wanted surgical management and had this planned in my head. Unfortunately they can't offer local anesthetic at my hospital or any other local ones because of staffing and Covid situation means my place on a surgery list wouldn't be guaranteed. The thought of that felt quite stressful and uncertain so we've opted for medical management which I can do at home tomorrow morning. The hospital staff were so great and explained everything really well. It sounds pretty horrific but at least I feel somewhat prepared for that! And I feel better for having a plan. I've heard quite a few stories where it hasn't worked but will just have to hope and pray it does for me. Just want this all to be over and done with. Wishing you all well with your journeys xxx

@Seasalt1984 really sorry to hear you didn't get the option you wanted. Having experienced the not knowing if surgery will happen or not I think this is a good option. There are lots of stories of it not working but you do have to remember 80-90% of the time it IS effective. So honestly chances are it will work for you and no follow up will be needed. I think this is probably one of those ones where people who shout about it are the ones who have had a bad experience. Make sure you take the rest of the week of work and have your husband nearby to bring you goodies and hugs throughout. I have everything crossed for you it goes as smooth as it can xx

@AMS19 yes that's a really lovely way to think about it! And I might appreciate it more once I'm on the other side of the miscarriage 😂 right now, I'm ordering raspberry leaf tea, planning a nice warm bath this evening and I've been on a long walk to try and help things along a bit! I've got consistent lower back cramping and occasional uterus cramping so I'm hoping this is my body preparing for it now. Sorry about your maternity certificate arriving but I think you're doing the right thing and stashing it away. I really truly believe it won't be long before we're all posting our BFPs ❤️🤞🏻❤️

@Scottishskifun I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through too. Definitely just stay in bed if it's helping you to cope! Hope you're being well looked after and have a good support network x

@Seasalt1984 I feel like your message is identical to what I'll be writing on Thursday after I've been to the EPU! I would like the surgical management but I'm assuming I'll be given the option of waiting or medical. I think I'll take the medical and wait to do it on the Friday morning as I'm still hoping to go to work on the Thursday after my appointment! Apparently medical management has an 85% success rate so hopefully you'll be one of that 85%!

Been for a lovely long walk down to the seafront this afternoon, in the pouring rain 😂 got a bit wet! But it was good to clear the cobwebs as I've been pretty much in bed or on the sofa since Christmas and was starting to feel pretty rubbish! I usually make excuses not to go out when the weather's bad but I'm so glad I did, it was quite peaceful in the rain, looking out at the sea!

Just when you've think you have had your share of bad luck!

@LauraT94 long walk and fresh air sounds amazing! How nice will this thread become when it is full of BFPs xx

Of for fecks sake @AMS19! The universe is not being fair to you!

@AMS19 noooo 😩 I mean, if it helps, we're all likely to be plunged into another full lockdown tonight anyway 😩😂

@ams19 thanks, that's what I'm telling myself. I feel confident the hospital will do their best if things don't go to plan this way which feels reassuring. I'll update with how things go if its helpful for people to know, it's been so helpful hearing other people's stories.

@LauraT94 wishing you all the best for your appointment this week. I was told to use meds first thing in the morning tomorrow, so if you end up on this route you'll make it to work (if you're feeling ok to go). Although we were in the hospital for 3 hours today for various things so you might be there a little while. Fingers crossed for you.
A walk by the sea is so good for the soul, even in the rain! 😊