Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

A few of us got talking on another thread and found having each other in the same boat, whilst devastating, helpful. So here is a little thread so we can stay in touch and support each other through this journey.

Anyone who has recently experienced or is experiencing a MC/MMC please join us. We are just on the start of our journey ❤

I found out I had a MMC on 21st December at 9+5. This was following a scan that showed a baby with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body hasn't let go at all, with no bleeding, so I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. The hardest thing waiting over Christmas 💔

@AMS19 yeah I had been told the same that because I was at 12 weeks (fetus grew to 10+5) it might take longer to reduce. I tested at 2 weeks post surgery (just as strong as before surgery), 3 weeks (weaker) and 4 (weak line on a FRER).

@Pettylamby yeah we have come across each other before - it was me with the super king cycles. I really hope we arent going back to that post MMC!

@Pettylamby sorry you’ve had to join this group but we are all here to support each other in whatever way we can.
I also have the surgical management done on the 30th after losing the baby at 9.5 weeks and seeing a healthy baby plus heart beat the week before.
I wasn’t seen by a doctor afterwards and was given a photocopied piece of paper with some aftercare but no phone numbers in the end and like you I just wanted to get home. I can’t fault any of the staff at the hospital it was just a bad scenario with what I was having done plus Covid thrown in.
I recall them saying our periods should return after 4-6 weeks and if not period after 6 weeks to ring them and they may re scan if they think it’s needed. Xx

I've been reading your posts and the things you've all been through, wow, you are a credit to yourselves. I know you probably my don't feel it, but you are coming across as strong and rational and it's really strengthening to read.

@AMS19 I'm glad your MVA went ahead even though it wasn't the procedure you wanted.

@DMT1982 I hope you enjoyed your birthday given what you've been through.

@Redfoxinthesnow I hope you're looking after yourself.

Anyone I haven't mentioned, please look after yourselves and talk (on here in IRL) if it helps.

I'll give a bit more background to my pregnancy journey. I had my first in 2017. I then had 2 miscarriages in 2018 (at 6 and 9 weeks) then gave birth again in 2019 followed by my most recent miscarriage at 6 weeks.
I wish I had the confidence to talk IRL about it but I guess I anticipate the 'but you have two already' comments which I do and they're amazing but I don't feel 'done' yet. This was by far the hardest one to cope with probably because the next will be my last.

I hope we all get what we want 🤞🏻

@mummydoingamasters thanks for posting and telling us about yourself as it’s not easy seeing it written down on a screen once you’ve pressed post.

You have both success stories with your little ones but also loss either side of them 😢 it can’t make losing a baby any easier just because you have two and every women if different, some want none, some want lots, only you know when that urge and want is gone to have more children. It’s none of anyone else’s business how many children someone wants and just because you have children doesn’t make losing one any easier.

I also struggle to talk about it in real life and one lady on here hit the nail on the head, I just don’t want to make people feel awkward and not know what to say or equally in your case say something like ‘well you already have two’ which is as bad as saying to someone who has lost an elderly loved one ‘they had a good innings’!

You are living proof that you can go onto have a successful pregnancies after losses so try to remember that when you’re doubting if you’ll be able to have another baby xx

@MAS50 I have the insomnia I think you mentioned a night or two after the procedure. I also have indigestion but think that’s more down to the cheese and pate I had around 8pm, oops!
How are you doing? Xx

@mummydoingamasters I'm sorry you've had such a long journey. Hoping you can get some fertility testing support now to help. Having 2 babies definitely doesn't make this any easier or less painful for you. But as @dmt1982 says, hold onto the fact you've had successful pregnancies so this will happen for you!

@dmt1982 sorry you've now got insomnia! My pregnancy insomnia seems to be getting better. I havent woken up at 5am there last 2 days which is good. I'm sleeping from about 9ish because I'm so tired, but sleep helps the body repair right so going with it

How is everyone feeling about going back to work? I go back Wednesday. I'm working from home, have been since March and will be for another few months I suspect, so makes it easier. Jan/Feb are very busy for me as an accountant which I think will actually be good and a good distraction from waiting for negative tests / periods to come. I just wish I could get away. I would love a 2 week holiday in the sunshine to recover from all this. Tier 4 has been helpful hiding from the world but also finding the restrictions and being stuck inside make it harder to distract and have some fun / pampering to move on xx

Hi everyone I've just had a comment on another post to join here.

I had a d&c 3 days ago now babies heartbeat stopped at 8/9 weeks due to a partial molar (suspected but looking likely find out in 2 weeks).

I am just worried about my bleeding.
I am not filling a pad an hour nor am I passing huge clothes it's just when I go for a wee it's like a gush and small 5p ish clots.

I do have cramps and back pain though is this all normal?

I assume so just worried as everywhere I read it says light bleeding and this is bright red.

Thank you x

@georgiaerin I'm really sorry to hear what youve been through. My MVA was 2 days ago and a couple of ladies had surgery 3 days ago so a few of us in the same boat. My bleeding hasn't been minimal, if it wasn't for hygiene could use one pad all day. But when I go for a wee there is definitely a bit of a gush. I've also had a few small cloths. My consultant said it totally varies but to expect clots for a few days and period like bleeding. She said not to worry if not filling a pad in an hour. But if you are in any doubt at all ring 111. That is exactly what they are there for and absolutely no harm in getting yourself checked over xx

Sorry meant to say has been minimal. But I think I lost the majority during the procedure.

Also cramping is totally normal. And I've had some lower back ache too! Hot bath and hot water bottle will help xx

@AMS19 I finally got to sleep at 1am! Have been out food shopping for the first time in over a week. Def think the insomnia was due to cheese and nothing else. I am back to work on Monday and like you are working from home with a mix of going into the office now and again. It will be mixed emotions as I sorted out I would be off from the end of June on maternity leave in my head but now that’s call changed (I’m sure you’ve done the same as only natural)

Oh to be able to jump on a plane somewhere hot and heal ourselves in the sunshine, that would be lush wouldn’t it. We are healing as we speak though by chatting things through and making our health our priority xx

@georgiaerin sorry you’ve had to join this thread. It was me who posted about coming over as it’s been really beneficial reading everyone experiences on here. We are all in the same boat which isn’t where any of us wanted to be but we will do our best to support each other.

I had a D&C on the 30th and have had minimal bleeding since. The nurse said when I left unless the clots are large and this comes with a temperature then not to overly worry however if you are unsure give EPU a call and chat to them as they are there 24/7 xxx

Hi all

Just checking back in, hope everyone is doing ok

So I’m in the middle of a week wait before being rescanned and offered the next steps on Thursday. I was hoping a natural miscarriage might happen in the meantime but so far only occasional cramps and spots of blood when I wipe.

I’m finding this limbo period really difficult

Hi @Mellous I'm so sorry that is really tough. Have you decided on next steps now so you are ready to get the ball rolling Thursday? I'm so glad my EPU didn't make me wait for a second scan. But I think that was because there was literally no baby at that point. It had disintegrated and got absorbed back into me and I just had an empty sac. I cant imagine how hard it is waiting, but hopefully after Thursday next steps will move quickly xx

Morning ladies,

Not sure if this will help anyone else but just after I found out about my MMC I remembered Gary barlows song let me go - he wrote it from the perspective of his stillborn daughter, its a very upbeat happy song and when I'm feeling a bit down I go and listen to it really loud and really listen to the words and it helps me! Not for everyone but it really is a lovely song.

X

Morning everyone. I've just got bad from having a blood test at the hospital. I was seen by the nurse who I spoke to over the phone when it all started which brought back lots of unpleasant memories but I'm hoping my hormone levels are going down and that I won't need to go back.

@Mellous I'm so sorry, I'm not surprised that it's so difficult and hope things proceed quickly on Thursday.

@mummydoingamasters thanks for sharing your story; I think this experience must be equally hard each time it happens, regardless of how many children you have.

@AMS19 wouldn't a holiday be wonderful? We had to cancel our honeymoon twice due to covid and I could really do with a break. I think I'm going to try and pamper myself a little with some nice meals etc

@Mellous - like you I also had a week wait before going back to EPU and having the procedure. I didn’t have to have a second scan with EPU as they said the private one would suffice which I was relieved about however I know not all EPUs allow this and they did said it was only because of Covid that they did not want to bring me back into a hospital environment just for another scan that I already had done. I had taken the private scan results print out with me as well so they read that and were happy with it.

It’s a horrible wait in between I’m not going to lie but if you can occupy yourself as best you can with maybe some walks, comedy tv and filthy food that will go some way to pass the time xxxx

Thanks @pettylamby I'll definitely take a listen!

@Redfoxinthesnow what a bummer on the honeymoon! We have 2 BA companion vouchers that expire in Nov so as soon as we are allowed I'm gonna insist to my husband we get some winter sun and fly business to make up for lost time given it is free anyway!

@Pettylamby I’ll also listen to that thanks 👌🏻Xx

I’ve attached the photo of an article in the daily mail recently on miscarriage. It’s only short but an interesting read xx

@DMT1982 do you have a link? Would be keen to read.

In other news, 2 months of not drinking and I'm absolutely trollied after 3 glasses tonight 🤪

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9084611/amp/Malfunction-chest-gland-trigger-miscarriages-researchers-say.html

@AMS19 I think this is it. I’m rubbish at copying links 🤦‍♀️

Funny you should say that about drinking because I had 3 glasses of Prosecco on my birthday and felt hammered as well, there must be something with a 3 glass limit following having a break from booze for a while! Xx

@AMS19 I am also in bed already after my cheese induced indigestion and insomnia last night! Xx

Hi all!

@AMS19 thanks for setting this thread up, I read through the stories on the other thread and it's helped me come to terms with things a bit more this evening.

I've just found out today that I'm most likely having a missed miscarriage. Had a scan at EPU on the 24th and sac measured 5.5 weeks with yolk sac but no fetal pole (should have been 6+3. Managed to get a private scan today and sac measured 6 weeks with a fetal pole also measuring 6 weeks, with no heartbeat. So about 3 days progress in 9 days... I've had some bleeding too.

Currently waiting my rescan with EPU on Thursday 7th so they can confirm missed miscarriage and tell me my options.

I'd really like to go for surgical but we're one of the worst Covid areas in the country so it's unlikely. Just have to wait and see what they say!

@AMS19 I'm glad you're able to have a drink and I hope you get that holiday soon.
@DMT1982 thanks for sharing the article, it's interesting. There seem to be so many possible causes but it's great that scientists are continuing to discover new factors.

@LauraT94 I just saw your message, I'm sorry that you have to join us and waiting must be so difficult. I hope you get answers on the 7th and that you have plenty of support x