Meghan markle ny times article

[stronglikemytea]

Does anyone else find it refreshing to finally see people in the public eye using their platforms to raise awareness on such raw issues?

Two weeks ago i miscarried. And in all honesty i felt so alienated as everyone around you seems to be going for scans or giving birth and your sat wondering why me?

To wake up to read an article written by a woman who has come away from such a strict establishment and speak up about such a heartbreaking experience i find quite comforting and that it is OKAY to speak about such a painful loss.
To think that even though these people who are open to the world and ripped to shreds by the media and trolls, we must remember are still human.

After reading meghans article i am heartbroken for the couple as knowing that same feeling is something i will never forget also. But at the same time i am grateful that she has opened up and made it clear we need to talk more.

For anyone who has miscarried/loss or going through a hard time, you are amazing and strong do not ever think any different xxx

I wonder if it might be better for Meghan and Harry to actually remain out of the spotlight, whatever they do seems to attract so much controversy and bad feeling.

They should enjoy their lives, out of the glare of scrutiny and I am sure they would be much happier for it.

@Drinkingallthewine I'm so sorry. Your own experiences mirror mine: the five miscarriages, the final blessing of one DS, people's insensitive treatment in the wake of it (not least my crass sibling-in-law) are exactly what has happened to me.

Sending you

'If Meghan Markle found the cure for cancer some of you would be queuing up to give her a kicking '

Have you read it? It isn’t a miscarriage awareness thing it's more like a sermon.

Sorry for anyone who has had a miscarriage.

AutumnVibes I didn’t me to offend but it’s the reality that women pushing 40 have at least a 50 percent miscarriage risk. She has tried for two children in her late 30s and unfortunately the risk of miscarriage is very high. Doesn’t stop I bring painful for her and I do wish the well but it is the reality and certainly most people I know who have tried for a family at her age have indeed experienced at least one miscarriage,

I feel the greatest sympathy for her. I just cannot get past the way the article is written. Its pure melodrama. I'm genuinely surprised nobody 'padded' anywhere. It makes me feel a bit funny reading it.

I feel like shit for thinking it but I do.

The hounding of this pair is genuinely outrageous but I do think that people are free to comment on their work. That is the point of it after all. You read something, you discuss it. I don't really see the problem here. If I were a writer I would expect it.

99.9% of women experiencing a MC do not share it publicly. ... They don't write about it in a newspaper, nor do they use it as an opportunity to link it to BLM, Covid, US election.

This is ludicrous. Of course they don't, because, let's face it, newspapers aren't interested. What is wrong with someone who has a public platform because newspapers are interested using it to write about a perfectly normal, if horrible, experience, and indeed linking it however they like?

After I had a miscarriage, I was contacted through the Miscarriage Association to go on a TV programme about miscarriages and I duly turned up on national TV along with around 20 other women in a similar position and talked about it - because, I suppose, we hoped it might help other women who miscarried. Does that make me and those other women somehow worthy of the same criticism for not hiding ourselves away?

@Friendsoftheearth

I wonder if it might be better for Meghan and Harry to actually remain out of the spotlight, whatever they do seems to attract so much controversy and bad feeling.

They should enjoy their lives, out of the glare of scrutiny and I am sure they would be much happier for it.

They can't. It's not possible. He's a senior prince, brother to the future King. He and his wife will always be of public interest, however many people come onto threads about them to insist they don't care. The press runs wider than each individual's consumption.

All they can do is try to manage it, which is what they're doing, to varying degrees of success. They never intended to get out completely, despite what their detractors are making up. They just want to try to do it on their own terms.

@MarchionessofActon it's the New York Times not the national Enquirer. I don't think your average NYT reader needs the language to be edited to be more 'American'.

This is very much her writing style. Quite recognisable from her old blog type posts.

@sonicbook

I feel the greatest sympathy for her. I just cannot get past the way the article is written. Its pure melodrama. I'm genuinely surprised nobody 'padded' anywhere. It makes me feel a bit funny reading it.

I feel like shit for thinking it but I do.

The hounding of this pair is genuinely outrageous but I do think that people are free to comment on their work. That is the point of it after all. You read something, you discuss it. I don't really see the problem here. If I were a writer I would expect it.

Thank you - that's kind of what I was getting at. I am a writer and I suppose that's what coloured my view of the article. Not the subject matter, but the melodramatic way it was written - like a hallmark movie or one of those Silhouette Desire books from the 80s.

Love to everyone that has been through this. It is hideous, absolutely hideous and I for one need no reminders of it. Many of us are trying to get on with our lives, and trying to get over it. So I am not sure it helps everyone.

Wading into such a sensitive topic to celebrate thanksgiving - I don't understand the connection - is not so great in the middle of the second wave of the pandemic, when many are feeling shaky as it is.

I don't think it should have been splashed all over a paper personally. It is a deeply private thing to happen to any woman, and sharing the details with the world to the degree that she has is ill advised.

A simple statement of fact would have had a far more dramatic and sympathetic response (similar to Zara) I would imagine.

Not everything has to be newspaper fodder

'feel the greatest sympathy for her. I just cannot get past the way the article is written. Its pure melodrama. I'm genuinely surprised nobody 'padded' anywhere. It makes me feel a bit funny reading it. I feel like shit for thinking it but I do.'

I know, it makes me squirm a bit and no doubt I'll be deleted and called racist but seriously it's like a bad creative writing essay. 'Kissed knuckles wet from tears'? Yes yes share these things privately with family and friends not the NYT

@Friendsoftheearth

Love to everyone that has been through this. It is hideous, absolutely hideous and I for one need no reminders of it. Many of us are trying to get on with our lives, and trying to get over it. So I am not sure it helps everyone.

Wading into such a sensitive topic to celebrate thanksgiving - I don't understand the connection - is not so great in the middle of the second wave of the pandemic, when many are feeling shaky as it is.

I don't think it should have been splashed all over a paper personally. It is a deeply private thing to happen to any woman, and sharing the details with the world to the degree that she has is ill advised.

A simple statement of fact would have had a far more dramatic and sympathetic response (similar to Zara) I would imagine.

Not everything has to be newspaper fodder

Exactly - this is totally what I'm trying to get at.

The article is badly written and although I think the message needs to be put out there - it is intensely private and I wonder why she, especially as a member of the royal family suddenly feels the need to share in such detail. A simple statement of fact would be better as Zara Phillips did.

Maybe. but I can't see why she thinks she's so important.

Nor can many people who go out of their way to talk about her, read about her and post about her online.

I'm sure that if the Duchess of Cambridge had shared an article like this, she would have been praised.

But as it's Meghan...

My heart goes out to them. A brave piece to write, and a welcome addition to the increasing acceptance of discussing miscarriage.

Well, I was trying to be kind. I guess it is just her writing style then. I’ve never read any blog posts of hers. It’s not a style I find endearing, but I guess if that’s the way she writes then there’s not much to be done.

@ShootingPenguins

I don't understand the vitriol for people who have essentially done nothing wrong or evil. But she's lost a much-wanted child and this is Mumsnet and I've never seen hate poured at a grieving Mum before so I thought ... maybe?

It's trolls.

It's long been known that a group of Meghan obsessives (who run scarily well-organised hate campaigns across dozens of forums, and basically spent almost every waking moment dedicated to attacking Meghan) target Mumsnet and that they use numerous troll tactics like sockpuppeting, astroturfing, doxxing, and most of them are previously banned trolls. Many of them have never posted on MN outside of Meghan threads.

There was a thread last year, started at 1am, within an hour there were four or five pages all tearing Meghan to shreds. I was the one poster defending her. MN later confirmed all the other 4-5 pages of posts, purporting to come from dozens of different usernames, all came from just one IP address. One person even admitted to having been banned from Mumsnet 20 or 30 times, and that she had gone through the entire process of creating a new email address and registering a new Mumsnet account, 20 or 30 times, just so that she could continue to bash and racially abuse Meghan.

There have been incidents where the same person has created the exact same thread, copy and pasted the exact same opening post (some really nasty incendiary statement about Meghan) to half a dozen different forums at the same time.

There's also evidence that there's hundreds of hate accounts on Twitter run by just a dozen or so people.

It's honestly terrifying and I would not be surprised if one of them attacked or tried to kill Meghan. Spending every waking second obsessively hating a celebrity, demonising someone you've never even met, is serious mental illness. They literally do not accept that Meghan is an actual human being.

Reading this is quite terrifying. I read some of those hate threads on MN and in the end had to hide them. They were dripping with so much spite and some of them were actually regular posters on MN . I agree with you that the hate towards Meghan really is a form of mental illness. As soon as I heard the sad news this morning my first thought was how delighted & gleeful those MNers will be. Some had alluded to it when she was pregnant with Archie, that she might not go to full term or that she might slip . Who in their right mind speculates about whether a healthy 37yr old woman might miscarry or have a fall? there were also many posts were many made a point about her ‘age’, and how she might be ‘infertile’. They don’t say it directly, they’re clever and always make sure they stay ever so close to the right side of what MN will tolerate. Even on this thread further up, someone posted, ‘I feel sorry for Harry’ re:miscarriage. No mention of the woman who actually miscarried.

These people are monsters and very ill, I also agree that they wouldn’t hesitate to kill Meghan given the chance and I hope for her sake they have very good protection. A woman has had a miscarriage and has used her platform to bring awareness to it, it might not help you personally but it has helped many. We can never discuss it too much because it’s a devastating thing to lose a child.

Seeing a few people on here saying that miscarriage is "a deeply private thing to a woman". Why? Is cancer a "deeply private thing" that must not be discussed? It used to be, but guess what, we've moved on as a society and it's no longer a terrible taboo like it used to be. Are mental health issues "deeply private" and should be shut up about as well?!

Let's hope that miscarriage is becoming less "deeply private" and can actually be discussed now, along with mental health support.

@HmmSureJan I've been trying to think why this article made me so uncomfortable and you've summed it up perfectly

I have no problem with her sharing her pain. I think it's always helpful to others to speak out. These things shouldn't be taboo.

Someone needs to take her aside and critique her writing honestly though. The writing style adds an inauthenticity to the experience which gets people's backs up and undermines her aims.

She's not a liar, an attention seeker or any of that. Shes a woman who is, I believe, trying her best. She's a poor writer, however, and the editor should have been far harsher.

She's been set up to fail here.

I'm a shit writer and that's exactly how I would write my experience. I can't escape the cliche so that's why I don't write.

Jan, do you really not understand the difference between "it's a proven fact that Meghan-bashers troll Mumsnet therefore it's possible some of the posts are from trolls not regular posters" and "every single person who dislikes Meghan is a troll"?

Admitting to having been banned from Mumsnet 30 separate times and to have created 30 new email addresses just to keep getting around the ban is extraordinarily obsessive behaviour just to be able to continue to discuss how much you hate a celebrity. Do I think that particular PBP is currently posting on this thread? Not sure; maybe, maybe not.

Do I think it's only logical to assume that someone willing to go to such extreme lengths to post on Meghan threads would want to post on the first Meghan thread in months? Yes, that's simple common sense.

I think there's two things here, the miscarriage and the 'are you ok?' I have felt no shame in discussing my miscarriages and have received nothing bad in response. But despite the fact they were in a very short period of time (three in six months) hardly anyone asked if I was ok. I wasn't I was a complete f*cking mess ( still am to be honest) and maybe that says more about the people I thought were my friends but I found that few people want to follow up beyond the initial platitudes