Missed Miscarriage

[Hol54321]

Hi Ladies,

Just looking for some friends at this devastating time. It's one of those, that will never happen to me moments but sure enough it did. Went along to my 12 week scan and boom, I'm hit with the news that baby has no heartbeat. They also said baby looked smaller than expected so did an internal scan too. They measured baby and said it was approx just over 9 weeks. Can not explain the effects on both myself and my husband. It was our first baby. Gone but never forgotten 💖

The anticipation was absolutely worse than the actual thing - and it was all over so quickly! It’s very undignified though, isn’t it, with your legs up high and people crowded around at the bottom end?! 😂🙈
I don’t think I felt cramps during, no, just afterwards - to be honest, the nurse did a really good job of distracting me and I kept my focus on taking as deep breaths as I could with the gas and air, so didn’t really think about what was going on as much as I could have. The staff were all amazing, I have a lot to thank them for despite the rigmarole of getting to this point.
Had my cuppa, had a wee (that they had to check), got my prescription and waiting on paracetamol then I think I should be able to go home soon. Ready for a sleep 😴

Sorry, I’m all about me today! How’s everyone else doing? Xxx

@SkyBlue20 glad it went well xx

Finished work for the day now playing trivial pursuit with husband - losing so badly because my brain just can’t be bothered to think. It feels flat you know?

@SkyBlue20 so pleased you’re all done and that you are heading home. It’s also really useful for me to hear your experience as that will be me in a couple of weeks so thank you for sharing!

@SkyBlue20 so pleased it went well! Been thinking of you all day x

I was on the Miscarriage Association website and didn't expect to see this:

The Association of Early Pregnancy Units suggests that you consider waiting until the pandemic is over before trying to conceive. This is to minimise the burden on the health service, to ensure you have full access to early pregnancy and maternity care and because it is too soon to fully understand the effect of the virus in pregnancy. But it will always be your decision.

I had seen that. For me - I am 40. I don’t know how much longer I will have. I Have no idea how long the coronavirus will go on for. I need to try again and I will. I am aware others will make a different decision from me and might judge me.

Ladies I feel like I'm struggling tonight :(
I was up most of the night with seriously bad, breathtakingly painful cramps. It continued for hours. But despite the pain i didnt pass much blood or many clots. I finally managed to get comfortable this morning and had a little lie in. I've had mild cramps again throughout today but they seem to be getting more noticeable again and it's making me so anxious. I don't want to go through those pains again tonight but I know eveything is yet to pass through. Did anyone with natural management suffer contraction pains more than once? Everything i read online says when those pains start they usually pass everything then and dont say you can get it twice or more :(

@SkyBlue20 glad it went as well as it could. Is the suction really loud? I don't remember hearing it at all!

@Sakura54 that's strange, I read that today too for the same time. Wonder if it has been there long.

@Ranoutofgoodnames it's up to u if you want to try, if that's what you want to do, it's your life. No-one here will judge you, and if anyone else does, it's none of their fucking business! I think if anything it shows how resilient you (and women in general are) to go through all of that and bounce back, praying not to go through the same thing again, but knowing it's a possibility.

I'm not sure what I am going to do, but know that I am also running out of time as 39 at the start of next month.

Think my body still recovering from surgery, yesterday I prepared dinner which took about an hour, and was desperate to sit down after for a rest, and had to put some things in the attic (which is full of baby stuff) so the climbing / stretching up there to reach things has hurt my back 🤦‍♀️ think I might be getting an infection down under too, prob not surprising after having 2 lots of pills shoved up and surgery, so think that'll be my next joy of life.

Roll on tomorrow when I'm off the antibiotics!

@Hol54321 I am sorry xx I didn’t go down this route so I don’t know how it feels but hoping someone else who did expectant management will be along soon with some insight xxx

@Ranoutofgoodnames I’m sorry you’re feeling flat - I know exactly the feeling you mean. Sending love and hoping you’re feeling a bit better this evening.

@Flex20 No problem at all - I relied so much on other people’s accounts that it’s only fair I shared my own! Do let me know if you have any questions, happy to chat about it.

Thanks @Workingmama1 ☺️ Bolton did themselves very proud today!

@Sakura54 @ranoutofgoodnames I absolutely think everyone is entitled to make their own decisions around this. Personally, it’s not even a consideration for me - I’m hoping we’ll be over the worst of it by the time I’m even pregnant let alone due and also, we’ve been pregnant whilst it’s been at its worse and we’ve all had to have appointments and treatments without any support there, so none of that phases me now. It may be seen as selfish by some, but we’ll be trying again as soon as we can, regardless of COVID-19 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Hol54321 I’m really sorry, I have no advice, but do talk to us if you feel that helps and ring the EPU if you’re worried - they’d rather you did and it were normal than not ring and there be a problem. Sending love xxx

Having a glass of wine and lazing on the couch, husband is being amazing and waiting on me hand and foot - he really is a good one 🥰 Obviously I’m bloody well worrying though as I have no cramps and the bleeding isn’t that bad - I’m now like ‘what if that means they didn’t get what they should have, what if the surgery didn’t work, the test won’t be negative in three weeks, I’m going to have to go back and have it again...’ why won’t our minds just stop?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I also know that some people have said the day of has been fine and after that, it’s got worse so I really need to stop overthinking it. It is what it is!

@amyspames It was just when they turned it on or used it for the first time I think - there was one suction noise and then I didn’t hear it again, but after I heard it the first time, I expected to hear it every time they ‘sucked’ something out so I thought he hadn’t started but then he was like ‘all finished!’ Was a blessing really I guess!
Try and rest up as much as you can and don’t overdo it (easier said than done, I know) - your body has been through a lot so you’re allowed to be a bit lazy ☺️

Thank you @Ranoutofgoodnames & @SkyBlue20 ❤

Silly question but are the EPU open weekends to contact? I tried calling them at 3.55pm today but was told they had gone home and to try calling again 🙈

I think mine isn’t - but in that case it is a&e - don’t be put off going there if you are in real pain. I had to go there just over a week ago - went in the late evening and it was empty. Didn’t have to wait too long. They established that it wasn’t an emergency and arranged for a gynaecologist to call me the next day. There were a couple of covid patients around but all entirely distanced with clearly very high levels of cleaning etc. My husband couldn’t come in but it was ok. Hope you don’t feel the need to go but just saying that it it gets back then just go and Make sure someone takes care of you x

@Hol54321 sorry you're in pain. I found it happened for me over a period of around 24 hours. Started with cramps on Sunday afternoon and started passing loose clots. Actually eased off a bit by bedtime. Was a bit crampy on Monday morning but ramped up again around lunchtime. I think I passed most of it on Monday afternoon, weirdly the biggest clots were when it wasn't too painful. From what I've read (anecdotally) for some women it can be a drawn out process. If you cant stand the pain then try to contact the EPU or if you can get the number of the gynecology or womens health ward they might be able to advise. If you really can't cope go to a and e. I hope tonight is a better night for you

Thank you @Workingmama1 ❤

@SkyBlue20 im feeling similarly about trying again. While its not been a great experience I've done it once in a pandemic and the NHS is supposedly opening back up again so by the time I'd even see a midwife, which (as long as there are no issues or EPU visits) is likely to be at least 3 months from now for a booking in appointment things will probably have changed again...

I had covid symptoms at 5 weeks and did wonder if that made any difference but I guess I'll never know. Also its going to be around in some form for at least a year and I'm not waiting that long before trying.

@Hol54321 I think they do open on weekends, but only to answer the phones, rather than a service. A&E as someone else has suggested is a good shout. I don't know if it's the same as medical management, as it's not a normal 'labour', but I think like when the medical, that your body will keep on trying for a while before it figures out it isn't working.

@SkyBlue20 god knows what they were doing with me, as it seemed to go on for ages, and there was a lot of pressure and pull / push movement. Had sheets up as a screen so have no idea. I haven't had that much bleeding either, though still some, so hopefully like u say, the test will be negative in 2 weeks time. Hope you are enjoying Yuit wine 😃

❤️❤️

@Skyblue20 I'm so happy it's all over for you; you've been an absolute trooper in how long you've waited! It sounds like the staff were really good and that things went well for you; I'm glad it was nothing like you were fearing. Let us know how you go and I hope your recovery is a quick one

@Sakura54 I think that note has been there for quite a while...I actually just said to my husband yesterday that it is a bit rich to tell people to wait for (possibly) an entire year, but he was very diplomatic and said it was 'advice' rather than anything firm. As for us, we'll be TTC again ASAP. Have my scan today, and if that's alright, we will be commencing DTD forthwith!

@Hol54321 argh, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through...how was last night and how are you this morning? My EPU is only open on weekdays and I think only in the mornings because of CV, but I think it differs depending where you are. Definitely seconding what people have already said about if things get really bad just go to A&E. Will be thinking of you xx

Morning all!

@Hol54321 How’re you doing today? Thinking of you!

@amyspames Thanks for the reassurance re: the bleeding - I’ve had hardly any and no cramps and I feel absolutely fine today other than being tired (despite my 10 hours of sleep last night), so am hoping it stays that way and just means they did a really good job 🤞🏼

Thanks @tryingtimes20 ☺️ I’m feeling good today so hopefully that will continue!

How’s everyone doing today? Xx

@tryingtimes20 @skyblue20 I'm going to try and give someone a call today even just for advice. The contraction pains that came in waves started again to get very very strong and lasted around 4 hours but once again i didnt pass anything. They stopped around 1am so I've slept well. But no idea what's going on down there!

Due to CV, I was planning to wait and DH said it's best to try next year, but that it's up to me really. I'm just going to wait for my period to return first and then see how I feel. Seeing that message on the website kinda threw me. This whole thing is just so unfair and cruel. I will start to experience how it feels to be broody at this rate! Lol.

On a lighter note, at the clinic they asked what contraception I wanted, so I said this was a planned baby and that I would be trying again eventually. I found it funny when I got home and saw that she had given me condoms! They have all types of contraception and even put coils in after abortions!

@skyblue20 Lol that’s exactly what I said 2 days ago. It’s been 4 days for me now and still no cramps and only spotting...

I had not too much blood initially after the surgery but then it came on quite strong after about five days and hasn’t stopped. Has tailed off now. Took a pregnancy test and it is hardly showing any line so I don’t think anything could still be inside me. But it is two weeks today from the surgery so am going to email the doctor to make sure it isn’t cause for concern

@Hol54321 Sounds wise, hope you get some answers 🤞🏼

@Sakura54 Hopefully that’s all it’ll be for us now and we’re on our way to being back to normal 🤞🏼 lol at the condoms, must just be something routine that they do!

@Ranoutofgoodnames Sure all is absolutely fine but definitely worth checking ☺️ Such a rollercoaster going through all this, isn’t it?!

@Skyblue20 luckily they open at weekends here, so I spoke to a nurse this morning and explained what was going on. She's invited me for a second scan tomorrow morning so they can check me over. She said the wait for medical treatment was around 3 days but I'm not having that if things are still in tact inside because ive been through enough pain and waiting already, I will keep on about having the D&C instead because I know they are still doing them! Xx