Missed Miscarriage

[Hol54321]

Hi Ladies,

Just looking for some friends at this devastating time. It's one of those, that will never happen to me moments but sure enough it did. Went along to my 12 week scan and boom, I'm hit with the news that baby has no heartbeat. They also said baby looked smaller than expected so did an internal scan too. They measured baby and said it was approx just over 9 weeks. Can not explain the effects on both myself and my husband. It was our first baby. Gone but never forgotten 💖

@skyblue20 thank you for replying. All the best of luck for tomorrow. That will prob be me in two weeks time! Did all you guys all have symptoms while this was going on? I agree you all seem a lovely group x

@Flex20 welcome, and sorry you are also in this situation.
Tbh, the more people say on here, the more angry I get about this whole miscarriage situation, why is it acceptable to not carry out scans and fob people off, not to investigate bleeding, and instead to use the 'wait and see' option, make people who are already anxious and worried wait bloody weeks for someone to confirm what they already know and then do something about it, not to offer surgical removal as an option, like any of us want to go any of this.
Government have been saying today that the nhs hasn't been overrun at any point, that's because they're not carrying out other essential services!
Time for some chocolate I think....

@Flex20 I lost the majority of my symptoms before I found out (stupidly told myself it was the placenta taking over even though in retrospect it was too early for that but you can always find the answer you want on the internet!) and the rest went quite quickly afterwards. My body had completely reabsorbed the baby by my second scan (would have been 14 weeks) so I guess that’s why I lost them all.

Good luck @SkyBlue20 will be thinking of you!

I thought things were starting to happen for me when I mentioned here I'd starting bleeding lightly. Strangely it hasn't progressed to anything more still, no cramps or pains, no clots or anything. I think I might wait until monday (two weeks from scan date) and then kick up a fuss too about having something to help. I would prefer the D&C - my mums friend is a health visitor and spoke to a midwife for us, she said the D&C would always be their first choice treatment! Its so bad we've all been/being treated with inferior care. X

I agree re “wait and see”. Everyone I interacted with on the nhs was lovely and as helpful as they could be but there was no way they could offer me everything I would need or would expect. I don’t have a way of comparing this to how it would be without coronavirus and I hope that I am never in this position in the future. But it makes me angry - particularly when we are told “oh no keep using the nhs if you need it we are open for business”. Equally I am so angry and need someone or something to be angry at - so maybe I am being overly sensitive.

Today has been a difficult day - hard to remember that I should have had my twelve week scan.

@SkyBlue20 good luck for tomorrow xx

Morning all!

SkyBlue20 thinking of you today . With what you're taking, you sound well prepared! The main thing for me was to make the time pass, as I had to wait about six/seven hours between being admitted and the op, so you might want to take your phone charger if you are watching things on your phone? Hopefully you'll be sorted much quicker anyway.

@Flex20 welcome, and so sorry you have to be here with us! For me, I'd been bleeding a bit on and off from 6w, all seemed to be OK though, told it was a SCH (an internal bleed which often resolves itself). Unfortunately after seeing HB just a few days before, everything went south around 10w-ish when I had a big bleed. Preg symptoms had started to fade a bit before this, but just thought I was lucky and they were resolving around the 9w mark.

I've been very lucky compared to some ladies in this thread as I only had to wait a few days to get my EPU confirmation scan (found out at a private scan as everything happened over the Easter BH) and next day was in for an ERPC. That was about two+ weeks ago now.

I'm sorry you've been told you had to wait if that wasn't your preference. As Sky has said, there are lots of options/experiences detailed in this thread depending on what you want to do xx

@SkyBlue20 didn't seem to tag you in previous post!

Thanks all. Could NOT sleep last night so am exhausted this morning, must get up though as have a tiny bit of work to do before I head off. Looking forward to this day being over!

Hope everyone is doing ok today, happy Friday! 💕

My symptoms improved at 10 weeks. I was surprised, but so pleased, as previously I was still puking in the car at over 4 months preg! The ppl on my thread were going crazy; crying when they had MS then crying when symptoms disappeared. I honestly didn't understand their anxiety. I just thought it was the placenta taking over and that I got lucky this time and never have to go through this hell again. Now I know better. The fact that it wasn't even alive when I went to my booking appt is a harrowing thought...

As for my care, my hospital doesn't have a great reputation, but apart from not being offered SM, I've been treated well in both pregnancy and MMC. If it wasn't for CV, they would have arranged my SM for I don't know when, but it would have been sorted. I wouldn't have had to go through what I did. Yes it was just less than a week, but the amount of stress, confusion, anxiety and fear from the waiting, uncertainty and many possibilities was like nothing I’ve ever felt - on top of the heartbreaking news. It was total emotional turmoil and a rollercoaster!

Gosh, the thought of a newborn in my arms has popped into my head a couple of times. I’ve never felt broody before in my life and I hope it doesn’t start now lol! For me, having kids is more like something that needs to be done if that makes sense.

Every single time I post, my messages are huge lol!

@Sakura54 I’m like you - never been broody ever, we just got to a stage where we were like ‘we definitely do want kids, we’ve got a good work and home set up and we’re not getting any younger’. For a long time we debated if we even wanted them but came to the realisation that we really really do, I just don’t think either of us have that internal longing that some people do and we thought that we should. Alas, now it’s the only bloody thing I can think about! 😂🙈

Morning everyone, been reading some posts I've missed and hope everyone is feeling better than yesterday.

I did a pregnancy test this week just to check and still a strong positive. I am on the same wait as you @Flex20 - got two more weeks to see if it will be a negative or ring EPU.

As I did not have heavy bleeding, but more like a strong period for a week I worry I have more to come, but really hoping not.

I am trying not to be on Mumsnet too often as it can get quite depressing, but always thinking of all of you here. Hopefully when we are all finished we can start a ttc thread together ;)

@SkyBlue20 I feel you.

I had a phase of never wanting kids as I have two particularly difficult nephew and niece. But my other niece and one of my best friends daughter are just a dream and helped me see not all kids are the same.

I am 36 so I do think I should have started earlier and wonder will this happen? But at the moment I feel particularly optimistic it will happen so I am keen on trying asap, provided my body helps.

Sorry for the delayed reply!

I’ve been reading through more of the messages as I didn’t realise there were more pages (doh).

I’m so angry that at how the doctors are treating miscarriage at the moment. I can’t believe they aren’t offering an op under general if that is your preference or even offering early scans. The anxiety and worry that will cause just isn’t fair. It’s you’re body and you have the right to decide how you want to be treated.

@SkyBlue20 I hope everything goes OK for you and you get rest and start recovering.

also Happy Birthday to @CAnary0

argh, sorry to post that out of the blue - my page hadn't refreshed and didn't realise there were several posts in between my last one and that...

Hope everyone is doing OK today. I did ring EPU this morning, and although they were kind, I got the usual 'watch and wait'. I'm feeling very very impatient (mainly about wanting to resume DTD), so I've followed in Canary's footsteps and booked myself in for a private scan tomorrow.

I think I have read every single MN thread about bleeding post ERPC (basically, there is a huge variety of experiences!) so it will be nice to get some personal information about what's happening. I'm hoping things will be positive and this will be good reassurance.

Good morning! Feeling more positive today...hoping this lasts 🤞

@Sakura54 My pregnancy symptoms were never that strong so I didn’t really know what to think - I did get a bit of nausea from about seven weeks but if I ate something it went away very quickly. I never felt massively tired. I did feel hormonal and my boobs hurt so so much. On the day I went for the scan where they said no heartbeat that was the first day I stood in the shower and thought my boobs hurt less - but then I figured that at week ten they should be easing up anyway and I should be happy that I didn’t get bad morning sickness. I still think symptoms are different for everyone and for each pregnancy so if I get pregnant again am going to try so hard not to over think it. Am sure I will not be successful...

Good luck today everyone xx

There are four of us on the ward I’m on and two of them are visibly pregnant, I feel like this could have been planned better for those of us who have lost our babies and are here about that 🤦🏻‍♀️ Just had the tablets to open up my cervix, two paracetamol and just one codeine as when I had them for my MM they made me really violently sick. The battle between less pain relief and being sick 😬

@skyblue20 aw no...are you able to draw the curtains around your bed? When I was on the Day Unit, I just kept my curtains drawn all the time. I hope you're able to find a good balance between PR and sickness :/

Yes try to separate - I think they are so limited on resources at the moment it is impossible

It’s not bothering me too much and one of them is leaving now anyway but I imagine it could be much worse for people that might be more affected by it. One of the girls did just ask me if I’m pregnant, I explained and she went on to tell me all about her pregnancy and how someone was in yesterday for the same thing as me and how bad it was 🤦🏻‍♀️

@SkyBlue20 not long now, and it'll be over. Have they given you a time or just said that it will be today?

Thinking of you @SkyBlue20, hopefully you don't have to wait too long.

For those of you feeling angry, I've felt the same, in some ways I think our rubbish treatment gave me a legitimate outlet for my anger and frustration (but probably hasn't helped me processing other emotions). The NHS isn't open for business. But then I've also had to be rational, my DH is waiting for an operation (which should have happened in Feb but the consultant forgot to refer him for some of his scans!) and my MIL should have had a hip replacement last week which is obviously cancelled too. But even knowing this it still makes me angry how we have been treated at a time when we are so vulnerable.

I've also been feeling really broody, I think I do want to try ASAP but I'm scared about maternity services, but also crossed my mind the other day will people judge me if I get pregnant now? On paper it's not a very good idea, but that doesn't take into account emotions and potential time limits (DH is 51!)

@amyspames it was meant to be around 12:30/1 and I was meant to be going home by 2:30 but am still waiting and no updates so who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ Very tired now after I hardly slept last night, might try and get a nap in.

And I’m done! It was honestly SO much better than I thought it would be - it was uncomfortable as they opened the cervix, the injection in to it was noticeable but not painful and I heard one bit of suction so braced myself for him to start and what felt like seconds later he was like ‘and we’re done’ - the suction was just it starting up but I was expecting it every time. I have cramps now which are painful but not too bad, I’m due pain killers in half an hour and I think just paracetamol will be alright to help with them.
I was really worried as the consultant got delayed and I was nearing three hours since I’d had pain relief so I thought it would be wearing off but it was honestly fine. I feel good now, so relieved! Would take this over the medical management any day of the week.
Now just having a cuppa and a chocolate muffin while I wait for them to let me go (I have to wait an hour after the surgery).
They’re giving me antibiotics for a week (but the nurse said I could start them tomorrow and have a glass of wine tonight 😂) and I have to do a pregnancy test in three weeks and check it’s negative.
So relieved, it’s over (I hope) and I can start to move on! 😅

@SkyBlue20 aw so pleased that it went well. The fear and anticipation was much worse than the MVA right?! Lol. So you didn't feel any cramps during it? Hmm its interesting how different places use different methods and even the aftercare.

Now you can go home to catch up on your sleep and breathe a huge sigh of relief! Finally.