TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

@Bailee26 I zoomed right in on the picture I think there might be the slightest line there good luck hope u get a positive

@Babybean1216 Thank you. I can only hope so too. After something like this, you sortve it look at every positive with skepticism. Negatives seem like the only thing that’s absolutely certain and even then sometime I wish it weren’t true too.

@IWM20 How are you going? Did you manage to get to speak to the GP? Keeping everything crossed for you.

@Bailee26 You’re right about movies- it’s a joke how easy it is. I do the same with fortune cookies haha but weirdly they always seem to have the perfect advice for the context. I remember once, on a day I got a new job, I had one telling me I’d be starting an exciting ‘new chapter’ - I’ve listened to them ever since 😂 I can’t see much on your test at the min but it might just be too early yet.

@Hoppyhops I probably won’t believe it when it does go positive anyway 😂😂 I feel like it won’t be real until I finally get to hear a little heartbeat on an ultrasound. I had a down today and it seemed like everything brought me to the edge of crying. Feels like my periods coming on even though it’s 10 days away. Sore bbs, back ache, cramps all day, exhausted 😴. Hopefully something will happen soon, I feel like I’m losing my mind a little.

@notalwaysalondoner how did you get on did you try another test today.

Yes, it was negative. I guess the bleeding was probably the last remnants of the miscarriage maybe? Just want my cycles to start again. Feeling pretty down today too - work is super stressful right now and I’m not pregnant and worried the stress will stop me getting pregnant... am very jealous of my best friend who just seems to have the perfect life and house and baby and I feel I’m just... behind...

So fed up. My bleeding hasn't stopped so pretty sure this is MC number 2. Pregnant since April and nothing to show for it. Why is this so hard?! 😭

@IndieMorg I am so sorry for your loss. It really effing sucks especially when you want something so badly.

Just a little update from me. Ive had the scan and it's definitely another miscarriage. Going to the EPU on Monday and I suppose they can see how it's progressing and see if it's all passed. God this is so hard isn't it xxx

@Bailee26 Oh I totally understand that madness feeling! I did feel better when I stopped obsessing so much about TTC. But since I had a positive, I’ve been testing constantly to see if it’s getting darker. To the point that my DH has said I have to stop testing now & just let it be- he can see how anxious it’s making me so that’s it, whatever happens will happen now. I need to get my mind back! 🤣

@notalwaysalondoner I know how hard it is when everybody else seems to get it and we don’t- it sucks. You will get there. Be kind to yourself- arrange a nice treat, even if it’s just a nice bath and bottle of wine or something to treat yourself with.

@IndieMorg I’m so sorry to hear this lovely. Might be worth just letting the GP know what’s going on incase you need to be checked out. Look after yourself xx

@IndieMorg Sorry, cross post. Oh I’m so very sorry. That’s so shit. Rest up and take care over the weekend lovely. Your time will come 💕 xxx

@IndieMorg

I’ll be praying for you. This is so terrifyingly hard.

@Hoppyhops

I honestly cannot stop myself from doing it every few hours. Thinking this may be it again has me so incredibly anxious.. and super hungry. I also can’t hold it long enough to actually get to a 4 hour hold unless it’s after a nap 😴. Last night, I got a very light positive and praying everyday it turns darker and darker. Before we move states I’ll meet with my gyno to get a confirmation. I’m just so incredibly nervous.

@notalwaysalondoner aww dont be do hard on yourself. It will happen for you. Try not to over think. Try treat yourself few facemasks some munchies a bath anything to feel relaxed. How long is it since your mc

@Bailee26 I hope it gets darker for you x

Hello everyone and sorry to jump in but I’ve just sat and read every page and wanted to say congratulations to everyone who has fallen pregnant again and to all of us still trying.

We suffered a miscarriage on 16 June At 10 weeks (basically spent lockdown pregnant) and I’ve felt completely lost and Mumsnet is the only thing that has really helped as I just didn’t know this was so common, why don’t women talk about miscarriage more?! I did want to ask if this was fairly normal for you all in the first month before a period, I’ve started to spot once a day for the last three days either pale pink or brown (sorry for tmi) is that normal? I have dated on my app that I should have a period next week but don’t sense it coming. we tried to conceive straight away as i only bled for a week and passed our baby naturally on day one of bleeding - scan came back clear etc and thought I could wait which is possibly silly now as I have googled the pants off the chance of being pregnant and it being implantation bleeding - I know deep down it probably isn’t and emotionally I probably should have waited anyway but this sudden need to be pregnant took over and I felt and showed symptoms of ovulating 🤷🏻‍♀️ Who knows and I’m rambling but just wanted to say thank you to everyone for writing/sharing their journey through possibly the worst time - I have never, ever known emotional pain like it before this miscarriage !

(Sorry for the stupid name too, I couldn’t find any login name that wasn’t taken and the song was on the radio so boom, I took it)

Meant “couldn’t wait”

@WatermelonSugar10 I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss, 10 weeks must have been really difficult 😔. I've now had 2 losses, one at 5 weeks and one at 7 weeks. Well, I'm currently miscarrying the 7 week pregnancy now and will need to go back to the early pregnancy unit on Monday for a scan. Getting worried as the bleeding is hardly anything and seems to be dragging out so I wonder when or if it will actually start. My last MC was natural and lasted about 4 days. This one has been 4 days at least already and seems to start and stop. I had the slightest bit of spotting between MC 1 and pregnancy 2... I didn't have a period in between. I think it happened around ovulation, possibly a day or 2 after but in that area of time. It could be spotting from ovulation maybe? Or implantation? I caught 2 weeks after my MC started so it always could be that. It hard to know when you're ready to try again, everyone told me I did it too soon but I had an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again. Probably to make up for what I'd lost but it really did help. It just means that now I've lost this one too I feel so much grief for the last 2 pregnancies that was a bit delayed maybe. But I think there might be something wrong and if there is then I will miscarry again too, so whether I did it straight away or after a year, it would have the same outcome and id still be left devestated. It sounds awful but id rather get to 3 miscarriages sooner so I can have some investigations and get some help... If it's going to happen then it's going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it so I'd rather get all the hurt out of the way and move onto being more positive in trying to find out what's happening. Sorry for the massive rant, I think I was thinking it through in my head and typed it all out ahha. It's helped I think to write it down like this and see the MC as something more positive (1 step closer to help) otherwise I think id just lose the plot xxx

@IWM20 I am so sorry that you are going through it again, have the EPU confirmed? I’m with you, I don’t think there is any time to waste really; if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen and it is just delaying that “rainbow baby” from being in your/our arms.
I had hoped it was implantation but I fear that is massively wishful thinking and the dreaded period will appear - I have friends who have had so many failed IVF attempts and given we got pregnant first time I was so relieved we had missed their fertility pain but yet after 10 weeks I now understand their pain and fear of wondering if it will ever happen and it sucks big time. Must remain positive though, it will happen and time is, I’m told, a great healer. I think my husband is struggling to cope with my pain, to him it was so early we will just try again and it’ll be fine, to me Christmas period will be horrendous if I’m not pregnant (due date was 5 Jan) but that’s a long way off and I’m trying so hard to remain positive but it’s almost become a secret pain even though it was only three weeks ago. Sorry rambling too but always here for virtual support if required xxx

So sorry to hear peoples sad stories! It's the most horrible time!!

I've booked a private early scan for Saturday for reassurance but I'm soo nervous and worried incase something is up with this pregnancy like the last.

Ive got my first pre natal appointment on the 17th and I have to go on my own with what's going on and I'm dreading going into the hospital without support because last time I was there was when I had the miscarriage

A lot of worrying times coming up but I'm just hoping for the best.
Same to you all!! Fingers crossed for everyone xx

@WatermelonSugar10 Sorry that you’ve found yourself here but hoping that it brings comfort to you

@IndieMorg Dont apologise for letting it all out. It’s sometimes hard to articulate how you feel and writing it down is really helpful and helps to make sense of things. I understand your thoughts on ‘one step closer’ in the journey. It’s a positive way to look at it.

@dm14 I really hope that everything goes well for your scan! Please keep us updated. Have you had your biking in appointment yet? I’ve arranged mine for Sunday 19th but it has to be over the phone. I’ve had quite a bit of spotting over the last few days though, as well as a UTI, so I’m feeling pretty terrified. I’d like to book in for an early private scan but I’m not sure whether I need to have had a first appointment with the midwife before that.

@dm14 *booking in not biking!

@WatermelonSugar10 Hi lovely, we are in really similar positions. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. I had a MMC at 12 weeks about 3 weeks ago, surgical management. The bleeding stopped after about 10 days and we also went straight back into having sex after, mostly just because we wanted to rather than actively ‘trying’ as we both thought my body probably wasn’t ready. I assumed that I would be one of these unlucky people who have very long journeys afterwards so it seemed far too good to be true. However I had EWCM so we went for it.. now I am not so sure I am as casual about it as I thought! If I magically went back into a perfect 4 week cycle then I would have a period or posi test in about a week. I also had the tiniest amount of pink spotting yesterday, I didn’t have it in my previous pregnancy so I wouldn’t even know what implantation bleeding would be. I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up but it’s so hard not to get totally consumed by it all!
Xx

@Tayler89 So sorry for your loss ❤️
oh my gosh we really are in similar positions! I didn’t previously have spotting before a period and was as regular as clockwork, almost to the hour but I suppose miscarrying and still having hormones all over the place might make us a little out of sync and cause spotting? I read somewhere that spotting can sometimes be a sign ovulation didn’t happen but I’ve also read it’s implantation so I have given up the google obsession and trying to take it a day at a time - secretly, of course, still hoping we are 🤞🤦🏻‍♀️ So difficult not having control over your own body and being a female!!
Xx

@Hoppyhops No. well I don't think so I just rang the hospital and said I've had a positive pregnancy test and they booked in for my first appointment for the 17th but not heard from a midwife yet.
The private scan says anything after 6 weeks is fine so going for reassurance because my miscarriage in January was detected early so I'm hoping for good news this time! X