TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

Hi all, can I come and join you too?

I had a natural miscarriage at just before 6 weeks which started on the 21st May (Thurs) and the bleeding stopped on the Sunday. We had been trying since Jan so not a huge amount of time but every day feels like an eternity when you're TTC doesn't it 😣. This was the first pregnancy for both of us

Totally feel the same as you ladies with others announcing their pregnancies, it's so hard! One neighbour is due next week and the other just announced she's pregnant with twins 😔. You just wonder what's wrong with you but my husband reminds me that miscarriages often aren't announced in public like births but it doesn't mean they don't happen to other people too

I've just started tracking ovulation for the first time ever in the hope that we will catch quickly (nothing so but but only tested the last 3 days. I feel like I had ovulation symptoms last week but that would have been days after the MC finished so it seems too soon. Probably hormones playing tricks)

Xx

@IndieMorg of course you may join. I’m so terribly sorry you’ve found yourself here but all in were very supportive here. there’s nothing wrong with you at all, i just want to remind you. miscarriages are a lot more common than people who have never had one like to believe. a lot of times it takes you having to talk about your miscarriage for others to want to talk about theirs, as ive learned with a few of my friends i never even knew were pregnant. it’s incredibly hard to lose your first pregnancy. my husband and i lost our first pregnancy too and honestly i think about it even to this day. it seems like everyone has such an easy time getting pregnant around you and when you’re trying it really does feel like an eternity. as others have said before, be kind to yourself. it is possible to ovulate soon, but if you don’t catch it or if you do end up having your first cycle, that in itself is something to consider a good thing. it at least means that everything’s on track. don’t rush yourself, as i found out the hard way, it’s counterproductive. everyone miscarries differently and the hormonal balancing act can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks or longer to return to normal. i wish you the very best 💕 and i’m so sorry for your loss.

Struggling today. Found out yesterday that my work colleague is pregnant and for some reason it’s made me feel really emotional. I thought I’d grieved and had moved on but this has been a big shock (she’s 45 & her husband has had a vasectomy. They have 2 children over the age of 18 and no plans for any more) I feel so incredibly happy for her but at the same time devastated for myself and then guilty for feeling sad. Such a weird mix of feelings!

It’s odd because I had mentally prepared myself incase any other colleagues (younger, actively trying) got pregnant but this is so unexpected I feel like it hit me quite hard. Sorry, just needed to write it down, let it out. I’m going to have a big glass of wine tonight and enjoy a lovely evening with my DH.

And now another friend has just messaged to say she’s expecting too. I think I might change that glass to a bottle 🤣

@IndieMorg Thanks lovely! Yes it’s a horrible mix of emotions out of nowhere. Tomorrow is a new day so hopefully will be feeling better then.

Sorry to hear about your work. As much as people like to say they understand lots don’t and many seem to think that you cry for a day and then get over it. I hope you get some time to relax this weekend- look after yourself

@IndieMorg are you able to ask the hospital for a sick note? I got one when I had my surgical management for one week not fit to work (which means it’s illegal for them to even try to make you work) and one week phased return (so you agree what hours and responsibilities you’ll do to make the first week more gentle). The hospital were super super happy to give one so if you feel you need one maybe ring up and ask and that will get work off your back?

@notalwaysalondoner that's a good idea. I may look into that 😣. I've been struggling with insomnia since it happened. I'm not sure if it's hormones or because I'm up until the early hours constantly Googling things I can do to get a Bfp but it's taking its toll.

Can anyone help with my OPKs? This is the first month I've done it and I'm not sure what to make of it. I haven't got a positive yet but I've seen some people say go for your peek. What do you think? I had SO much EWCM on the 5th which is unusual for me and that's the strongest reading I got 🤔 since then it's been lighter and lighter xx

@indiemorg I’d say you probably ovulated 5-6th: I’ve also had months where the test line was never stronger than the control line. What app are you using, looks helpful?

@notalwaysalondoner thanks, I was thinking that but it's good to get a second opinion. I use the glow app to track and it's got a place to add OPK pictures and you can compare them over the week which is handy. So when would have been the best times to BD? So far we have BDd on the 27th, 29th, 4th, 6th, 7th xx

It’s hard to say - probably two days before, day before, day of and two days after but having charted/OPKd for several months it’s not an exact science!

@IndieMorg Have you checked to make sure your Hcg is down to zero? If it’s still elevated past 20 it can throw off your OPKs and give you a positive pregnancy test. I did that roller coaster for almost a month. Before the first cycle is always hard on your body and your mind because it’s been so long since you’ve had a period, your hormones are all out of wack. I cried for almost 2 months before I had mine and it seemed like afterwards things got a little more hopeful. My husband takes Maca Root for sperm health and I take folic acid, folate acid, and chasteberry. We also use pre-seed(about 2 grams) and I use a diva cup to hold everything in. Also drinking lots of water will help flush the old HCG out of your system rather than concentrating it in your kidneys. This is our first cycle after 18 weeks of dealing with hormones leftover from my miscarriage and the small length of time I was pregnant, so I can’t really tell you how well it works, but we’re hopeful. We also changed our diet to mostly plant based and organic, no fast food except infrequently and we walk together often. These are all things I read is supposed to help your chances.

@IndieMorg I also use the Flo app for fertile days because it lines up last time perfectly with my OPKs. Today is our first wedding anniversary and coincidentally it’s also the day I’m scheduled to ovulate, so fingers crossed 🤞🏽

@bailee26 ooooh hun that sounds so exciting and very promising!! Happy wedding anniversary 💕. My HCG is back to 0 so I'm hoping I'm back in the game but I'm also worrying that I'm pinning such hope on this month and even though I'm trying to tell myself it took months to get pregnant in the first place 😣. I can feel myself getting carried away and I can't stop it so I'm probably going to be heart broken when AF arrives 😔. Ohhhhh it definitely sounds like you're doing all the right things 🤞. What is the chasteberry for?? Xx

@IndieMorg It’s a natural supplement that some women have said help them relieve PMS symptoms and to regulate their cycle. It also has some slight mood benefits which I also noticed. I take it to ovulate more regularly and hopefully sooner in the cycle.

@IndieMorg I know what you mean, I just have this real conviction I’ll get pregnant in the first 1-2 cycles this time even though it took us 7 months and 9-10 cycles last time (I have 22-27 day cycles). I think it’s probably a coping mechanism to stop getting too upset about the miscarriage...

@notalwaysalondoner it's hard isn't it. Well... It keeps me going definitely and it's something to focus on and look forward to. I'm trying not to look too far ahead and just think it's going to happen this month because the thought of it taking 6 months again (which I know isn't even the end of the world and people wait so much longer) is just awful and I think I'll lose my mind before then... but I've also not really thought about what happens in 2 weeks time and AF arrives 😣. I can feel myself obsessing over it and I wasn't like this as much (still pretty obsessed though 😂) before. I just want it so much and it's so hard having had it and then having it taken away. I keep trying to check symptoms and remember how I felt before I knew I was pregnant last time but in all honestly I didn't feel any different other than I commented my boobs were huge (H cup already so already pretty huge 😂). Such a whirlwind of emotions. Can't wait for this 2ww to fast forward. I said this time I wouldn't check until 2-3 weeks of AF being late because I couldn't face knowing about a MC again and I wanted to save myself if it happened early again but I don't think i will wait. Also my thinking is the more I know about what's going on, the better... And if I need help concieveing, I can get help sooner. I think it's awful waiting until 3 MC until its investigated. 1 MC is traumatic enough 😔 xx

@IndieMorg I totally get that obsessive feeling! I thought I was going mad when waiting for AF after the MC- constantly symptom spotting even when I kept telling myself to stop. I think it’s even harder at the moment with lack of things to do for distraction due to the pandemic.

I think someone’s playing a really cruel joke on me this week. Another one of my friends has announced her pregnancy today- twins! That’s three announcements since Friday & all are due around the same time that I would have been. I’m not a fragile person but bloody hell, this has been a tough few days!

Does anyone know if it’s possible to still test positive on a home test after your first cycle? I tested this afternoon to just see, because I had a blood test at my gyno, and a small tiny line came up. It’s not much to take a picture of and I’m trying very hard not to get anyone’s hopes up, but I’m sort of at a loss now. I thought I didn’t have any more hcg and according to my app I’ve only ovulated a few days ago....

@bailee26 I think it’s rare. Has it been at least 12 weeks since your MC? If it has, you’ve had AF and were testing negative after, I’d say it was a good sign! 🤞🏼

• it IS a good sign

@Hoppyhops Yes. I believe it’s been 13 give or take. I’ll update as soon as the doctor gives blood results. He’s normally extremely slow 🙄😥

@Bailee26 Ohh, sounds promising! Fingers crossed for you!!

Hello ladies, how's everyone getting on?

@bailee26 ooo that sounds very promising! I would have though if you'd have had AF then this would be new? I have everything crossed for you, let us know how you get on 💕

@hoppyhops oh hun 😔 that does sound like torture. It feels like everyone around seems to get pregnant no problem when you're trying. I think it's even harder after having a MC and thinking it should be you. I've got a good feeling about this month so I'm keeping everything crossed for you 🤞💕

I've been okay.... Tested this morning and obviously BFN. I don't know why I even did it. Im about 6/7 dpo so way too early. I've just been feeling funny lately- sneezing, post nasal drip (although I do have hayfever but it's not been quite like this and I felt this way before my last BFP 🤔), super tired all the time and sleeping at about 6pm then waking up and going to bed at normal time too (but then I'm hypothyroid and I do love a good nap. This does feel more though...). Can't concentrate on anything at all which I also had before BFP (but this could just be because I'm so obsessed with TTC and still grieving 😔). Hungry ALL the time (this is unusual for how I've been feeling lately but again could just be down to hormones settling after MC), boobs are sore and veiny (they've been sore since I was PG last month but I didn't notice these huge blue veins until yesterday. That's not to say they weren't there though), getting quite alot of watery/creamy cm to the point that I thought AF had come yesterday and rushed to the toilet (again could be hormones settling). I suppose time will tell but it probably be far too lucky to catch before my 1st AF after miscarriage 😔

Fingers crossed for you @Bailee26! @IndieMorg that sounds positive although I know symptom spotting is a dangerous road...!

Can I ask all of you when you started having unprotected sex again after your miscarriage? I know you should wait until you've stopped bleeding because of infection, but I stopped within a few days (surgical management). But it makes sense to me you should wait for a negative pregnancy test too (and I think my nurse said this) as otherwise you might have retained products without knowing it, and then if you have a BFP you won't know if it's a new pregnancy or retained products... But on the other hand I'm reluctant to wait for weeks or even months as I know HCG can take quite a long time to leave your system even without any retained products.

I took a cheap strip pregnancy test yesterday (a week after my surgical management) and there was a moderate positive although it took a few minutes to appear.