TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

@Lottieloux im so pleased for you, got my fingers crossed. Hope your scan goes well on Saturday

@bailee26 sounds tough, I hope you get answers soon

@hoppyhops im sure AF will turn up soon and you can start ttc again

@shinea that sounds awful being so far on and having to give birth. I cant even imagine what you've went through. I'd say try not to stress and put pressure on yourself to get pregnant again but it doesnt seem to be that easy. We're all here if you need to talk 💕

@Trying93 thanks a lot for your kind words, I know I am going through lot of mood swings and anxiety,I always had anxiety stress issue i dunno if my stress really caused my Miscarriage. I also want to give time to heal emotionally, but after miscarriage I see pregnant ladies everywhere which is reminding of my loss all the time. I am not jealous or something on them but my loss makes me grieve more

@Shinea I completely understand what you mean about seeing beautiful round baby bumps everywhere. It’s not a jealousy. Jealousy is like when someone gets a nice car and you want one, or when someone’s husband brings them flowers for their anniversary to your work. It’s so much smaller and pettier than this feeling. This need to be in an elite group of women carrying life and it hurts to realize it’ll take a little longer for us. I don’t know about you guys but it screams “they’re normal and you’re not”. And that sucks.

Hey my lovelies just got back from my scan, baby is all good and the scan studio I went to was amazing and she’s a midwife too so really reassured me and explained everything in depth. I have got a little a picture but unsure how everyone would feel if I post it.
Hope you’re all keeping safe and are enjoying the sunshine💜

@Lottieloux great hearing from you!! and glad everything’s going well! how far along are you now?

As for my own update, I can say that for once I’m starting to have some hope. I’m still spotting but after testing this morning I’ve finally got two dark lines on my ovulation strips. So I’ve got my preseed and vitamins and healthy foods planned for you today. we dtd twice yesterday and DTD this morning and will probably try again tonight. I’m thinking about trying at home insemination while still in the fertile window... I don’t know tho. I did get one of those diva cups to hold in everything so we’ll see!!! keep your fingers crossed for me.

@Lottieloux I'm over the moon for you that your baby is okay. I'd be more than happy if you wanted to put your scan picture up

@Lottieloux Great news! So glad to hear all went well!

@Bailee26 thanks a lot for understanding!!
So I got periods exactly 4 weeks after my miscarriage. Then bled for 4 days and periods stopped but am bleeding again after 2 days. Is it something normal?

@Shinea It’s normal to have irregularities while your cycle is getting back to its usual pattern. Your hormones have been all over the place so I think just keep an eye on things for now and try not to worry too much about it. Hope it sorts itself out soon for you.

I’m now on week 8 after MC with no period. Fed up of waiting and just want to get back on track.

@hoppyhops have you been ttc or are you waiting until you've had a period?

@Trying93 We haven’t been trying - I haven’t been as rigid or tracking properly - but also haven’t been careful when DTD either, to be fair. I’ve definitely got some symptoms that are getting gradually stronger - sore boobs and nausea which I got in pregnancy and get before periods so hopefully this means AF is on the way, albeit bloody slowly.

I did a cheapy pregnancy test from Amazon last week and then yesterday just in case and had a BFN both times so that’s pregnancy ruled out, I’m fairly certain.

@hoppyhops hopefully it comes soon and you can start trying again 🤞

@Shinea like it was said before it’s super common to bleed on and off but make sure you go get blood work done to make sure there’s not anything leftover that your body is trying to push out. They essentially had no diagnosis for my why my cervix still bled 2 weeks after my miscarriage was over.
It’s been 40 days since my miscarriage and no period yet. I know for sure I ovulated but I’m too scared to test for anything else.

Yeah @Bailee26 I got scanned couple of week back and they said nothing is left from my previous pregnancy. I was much relieved but this on and off periods made me worry more about trying again soon

@Shinea it is pretty worrisome. i wish way too oft that everything would be back to normalcy. it seems like doctors don’t care about you at the moment unless you’re gravely ill. maybe it’s just me but they seem especially dismissive.

@Bailee26 true my doctor kept telling everything is alright until I had mmc, even after that they just said everything is normal.
Only we know how we go through this black hole

Know the feeling - I’m 2 weeks after my D&C and clear blue is still saying 2-3 weeks!! Apparently raspberry leaf tea is great for getting cycled back to normal so going to start downing it!!

Although - and here’s a question I can only ask you ladies!! - I quite want to get back to having sex! Do you think I can risk it? Pretty sure I’m not ovulating if I’m still BFP??

Ahh @Curiousfruit I hope your cycle gets back to normal soon. I think you’ll be ok to dtd if you’re feeling up to it though.

I’ve finally had AF after my MC! Took nearly 10 weeks but it came. I’m now on CD7 and am going to properly track from now, even if I don’t get pregnant straight away, at least I’ll know my body a bit better so that’ll be something.

Hi all, I had a missed miscarriage (blighted ovum) diagnosed 1.5 weeks ago when I was 8+5 then had surgical management for it yesterday (not very pleasant as had to be under local anaesthetic but glad it’s over with). This was my first pregnancy after TTC for seven months.

I have some questions about TTC again after miscarriage, would be so grateful if you can help:

• how often did you test for a negative pregnancy test after the miscarriage? Don’t want to spend lots of money on lots of FRER but of course want to know when everything has adjusted back to normal
• I was told not to have sex until bleeding stopped but it looks like it’s stopping already 24 hours later (common for surgical management). But assume you shouldn’t have unprotected sex until a negative pregnancy test as otherwise you/doctors won’t know if it’s retained miscarriage or a new pregnancy?
• when did you start testing for ovulation? I’ve used the clearblue digital before as they’re much easier to interpret than cheapies but they are expensive and if it might be weeks and weeks before I ovulate I’m not sure when to start
• for those who had surgical management, how long was it before you got a negative test and before ovulation returned?
• Any other tips or advice?!

DH and I definitely want to TTC again as quickly as possible but I also want to be sure the miscarriage has completed properly first. Thanks so much!!!

Hi @notalwaysalondoner

Woops, sorry, posted too soon! Sorry to see that you’ve found yourself here. I can only talk about my experience but I got a negative at the hospital and was advised to take another test in two weeks to make sure, so maybe you want to give it at least a week or two before testing again. I think you’d also be advised to not try again until you get a negative test so as not to be confused between what was the MC and could potentially be a new pregnancy.
We were also keen to start TTC as soon as possible but I found that I was getting frustrated waiting for AF and my body took a good while to calm down from symptoms/hormones so I stopped LH testing/tracking until it came (finally did after 9-10 weeks) so I’m back to tracking again this month. I think it means that everything is more accurate then too.

Hope you’re ok, getting the support you need and make sure you’re being kind to yourself

Hi ladies, coming to join after a D&C two weeks ago. Struggling today as my Ava bracelet says I’m ovulating and I so much want to get back to TTC but my surgeon said we should wait until I’ve had one period first. Just feels like such a missed chance!

@notalwaysalondoner FWIW I had no bleeding for the first 48 hours after my op, and then it started with a vengeance. So I’d say give it a few days and see how it goes. I did my first test on Friday, so just under 2 weeks after the op, and it still showed a pretty strong positive, so I guess I’ve got a way to go. 😢 The SECOND I get a negative we’re back to trying - although I also have to have an MRI before we try. One day....

Crossing fingers we all get our periods back soon and then....not for another 9 months!!

@notalwaysalondoner definitely be kind to yourself and easy on your body as well. I wanted to try straight away but my ovulation day came and went. I was extremely disappointed to find out I still had Hcg in my blood even after the time I ovulated, only getting our hopes up to have them dashed ...
My period returned 50 days after the first day of my miscarriage with two weeks of spotting in between. It’s been about 10 days since then and I haven’t been tracking ovulation. My app says it’s in 4 days but Trying to busy myself with other things but keep it in the back of my mind. It’s so hard to do when that’s all you want.

For those with the Ava bracelet would you recommend them? Starting to feel with all the costs of clearblue ovulation tests it starts to be more cost effective...

@Mooghulempress thanks, that’s really helpful information about the bleeding. How much time did you take off work/would you recommend to take - right now I feel fine and tempted to go back on Monday but have a sick note to cover next week too if I need it?

I love the Ava - I’ve had it about 3 months and we got lucky the first month we used it, so it’s definitely getting the timings right! Just find it so much less hassle than taking temp every morning or POAS! I got mine on eBay so wasn’t quite as spenny as a brand new one.

I’d say go back when you feel right about it - with my first D&C the whole miscarriage really knocked me for 6 and I was just in pieces for weeks. This time, it wasn’t such a shock, and I felt much less broken by it. I took a week off, but mostly because I’m a therapist and it didn’t feel responsible to be working with other people’s’ very deepest stuff when I wasn’t totally on my A game. In my previous incarnation I worked in an office so felt I could go in earlier because excel sheets didn’t require anything of me emotionally. But as others have said, take time, rest and look after yourself - work tends to be pretty understanding IME so go back when it feels right.