waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

[Lcy]

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

Oh Lucy I am so so for you. Just wanted to let you know that I too had a m/c at 6/7 weeks two years ago next weekend.

I now have a bouncing 7 month old DS despite bleeding twice at the beginning of this pregnancy and having two early scans.

It can work out.

A nurse told me to think of my first baby as a little angel making room for a future brother or sister - made me smile.

Be good to yourself and if it does start to happen naturally, arm yourself with a hot water bottle, pain killers, plenty of tea and biscuits, a good DVD or two and don't move from the sofa. It's not nice but try not to dwell on what is happening (that is how I coped).

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good morning - have been awake since 5am feeling sorry for myself. The yo yo emotions go on - Yesterday afternoon i felt ok - now i am feeling really low again. I had really bad cramps (like contractions) last night and kept thinking is this it but this morning i am hardly bleeding.

Thanks for the advice about coping Wilkie and Renaissancewoman - i am going to get a hot water bottle today. To be honest i dont want to miscarry naturally - i think it might through me over the edge - I have the D&C tommorow im not looking forward to it but cant wait not to feel scared that everything is going to fall out of my body!

Good morning TJuice - how are you feeling today - dont know about you but Mumsnet is really keeping me going at the moment!

Lcy

Also sorry to hear about your miscarrige Wilkie - but made me feel much more positive hearing about your 7 month son - i really hope i will be posting about a beautiful baby one day! x

Hi Lcy, I just wanted to say how dreadfully sorry I am to hear about what you're going through.

I'm busy miscarrying as I type, (7 weeks), and I honestly never understood before what women felt when they went through it.

I've been watching your post over the last couple of days, but too afraid to post on it as I suspected I was about to m/c. I'm thinking of you - good luck for tomorrow!

Morning Lucy

I haven't been sleeping very well either. the 5am shift is a tough one.

Are you still feeling crampy and uncomfortable? I totally identify with you wanting to have the d&c rather than miscarrying naturally. Hopefully you'll be able to start feeling like the nightmare is ending after tomorrow.

I ended up taking a piriton at 4.30am on Friday night as I woke at 2 am, and it didn't wear off until about 5pm yesterday afternoon. It did get me some sleep though.

I know what you mean about ups and downs. I had my worst day on Friday this week. My hormones are going bonkers - either freezing cold, or sweating - just like after I had my little boy.

Reading others posts on this thread has really been helping me. Wilkie's comment last night about angels made me really hopeful.

x Upside

Good morning Gumbo - so sorry about your miscarrige, please post on here whenever you need to - it appears there are alot of us going throught the same thing at the moment and i think it can really help to get support from each other. I hope you are not to uncomfortable - for me it is the emotional and physical side together that is difficult. That and the fact my body still looks pregnant (swollen boobs, veins on my stomach etc..). I will be thinking of you today x

Morning Upside - you sound like you are having a similar time to me. I hate it when i have to go to sleep because there is so much time to think. Also keep having a nightmare of miscarrying a small version of a full term baby - which i know isnt going to happen!
Glad you got some sleep after the piriton - i am using wine as a sedative at the moment - hmm probably not the best coping strategy

Hopefully we will all be able to move onto a more hopeful trying to concieve thread together soon - but for now im not budging from here xx

Hi Lcy

Yes, wine as coping strategy - hmmm.
Yesterday was a bad day, made worse by me getting drunk and lachrymose . . .feel asleep in the afternoon but woke up at 7pm with a raging hangover. Luckily my bf came home from the cafe where he chefs now and again with food and lots of understanding - I think this whole thing has brought us closer together.
just wondering about going back to work tomorrow . . . i work a minute from my flat and its only from 9 until 2pm but i didn't tell anyone and I work with 95% men, so have to be feeling pretty tough. maybe it will help to not mope anymore - I don't know.

Gumbo, i am really sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing
I never realised how much this would upset me either, as I am usually pretty scientific/philosophical about things. The whole scientific approach though is a double-edged sword. My boyfriend was trying to be reassuring by giving me stats about how once you get to a certain amount of weeks/see a hb that your chances of mc-ing dwindle. but now i just feel horribly unlucky. anyway, I don't know what i would do without mumsnet.

Renaissance and Wilkie - thanks for your positivity and good vibes - really appreciated.
hope everyone else is doing well today.

i'm going to watch Heroes on alluc.org for a while and may actually wash my hair and give myself a facial.

Hi TJuice - i am taking two weeks off - one sick leave to recover from d&c and one annual leave that i had planned weeks ago.

Have a look at this thread - it made me feel happier because i really want to have a baby again soon.

www.babyexpert.co.uk/index.php/chatroom/topic/6826

I realised yesterday that i hadnt had a shower for two days (dont judge me - took alot of motivation but felt so much better. I have just lit a fire (August but freezing here) and am going to spend morning drink coffee and reading papers xx

Mum2ozzie, Pipsqeeke, Jackstini - how are you all today?

hi lcy.

thanks for the link - it very positive.
i keep veering in my mind between just going for it or maybe chiling for a bit and doing some of the stuff i need to do. i am actually getting my tonsils removed at the end of the month so i'm thinking that it may be better for me to just have an easy month, continue with the antenatal vits and maybe B vits (supposed to help again ms and some say mc), continue with the gym, good diet etc and then see what happens.
otherwise i kind of feel like i am just trying to get back to the status quo without giving myself the time i need.

lucky you have some time off! i think its a really good move. i'll get a week in bed after the tonsilectomy yaaay! (i thought only kids got them removed . . . but whatever!)

i was just browsing round the rest of mumsnet and cracked up at this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2350&threadid=373789&stamp=070819080119

british sense of humour . . . brilliant

I had a long bath yesterday afternoon which helped to get rid of the yukky feeling after all those internal exams on Friday. I am feeling much more positive today - particularly after reading the link you pasted Lcy - thanks for that. Fingers crossed...

Messages crossed I think Tjuice - just visited your link! Needed a good laugh - thanks!!

Morning Lcy (and everyone else). How are you feeling? Hope you have a relaxing day and aren't thinking about tomorrow too much, I know it must be hard.

Really sorry to everyone else who is going through the same thing, but I think it is really good that you are all posting on here, not just for your own support but so the rest of us have a small inkling of how you are feeling so we can try in a small way to understand what you are going through.

Lcy let me know if there is anything in any way I can do to make you feel better

Hi Bumper - how are you and DD? Has DH gone back to work? Me and F are going to get papers and croissants and sit in front of the fire xxx

Hi Mum2ozzie - glad you are feeling more positive today x

He goes back today, but starts late as it is a sunday. Partly sad, but partly pleased to be able to sit and watch trashy tv and spend the day on mn without his judgement! (although he knows I spend all day on here anyway!)

DD is great, for the 3rd day in a row she has slept from 11ish till between 6.30 and 7.30! It's great, though I'm not banking on it staying as a pattern...she is still pretty noisy in the night too, so it's not a full nights sleep, but better than feeding at 3am!

Hope you have a chilled day with F. Croissants, papers and a fire sound fab. Hi to F and DH from me xxxxx

Wow with all that sleep you must be feeling almost normal again. Are you going to try putting her in her own room?

lcy - I don't think i'd had a shower for about 4 days and was slumbing it in DH's old trackies (i'm 5'2 and he's 6'1 so imagion! lol) but in the house no one sees you! lol.

hope you're feeling better today thou.

Hmm, I don't know, dh doesn't want to, and I don't really either. I guess eventually we will learn to tune the snuffling and grunting out!

I know - poor DH we are only 11 months married and his wife has let herself go i have worn the same tracksuit since Friday and will only get dressed to go to hospital tommorow.

Dont blame you bumper - keep her close

On the subject of liquid therapy, I don't recommend Martini as your first drink after a m/c.

On Friday, ds and I went round to one of my best friend's house who has a baby ds's age. the two boys had a jolly time. Then the two wonderful dh's arrived and I was given a very small 'child-size' Martini, while dh (and he certainly deserved it!) had two proper ones.

Cut to tube station twenty minutes later and we're heading home for bathtime with ds1. I was having a go at dh for not understanding me (ACtually the poor guy has been a tower of strength but hormones + Martini on an empty stomach not a good mix)

Now we're in the tube and dh says something about me being unfair. I yell at the top of my voice, 'Don't talk to me about "fair". I had a fu**ing miscarriage' on Monday.' and then collapse into a torrent of really ugly tears.

Yes if any of you, were in the tube on Friday night with us (and about 100 people were), that was me.

To be honest, I had been amazed at how strong I'd been and I guess it just took a few days and a Martini to hit me. I think I needed to have a really proper meltdown.

I was pretty down for the next 24 hours, but am feeling a million times better this morning.

oh i have so been there upside - it is always DH that gets it because i know he will still love me. I hit all time low on Thursday night (howling all night) but now just have the odd cry now and then (usually provoked by nothing at all). I think you have to hit rock bottom - and then you can start climbing up again xxx