First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

I’m so glad your scan went well @sadtoday21 sorry you’re still feeling so anxious, understandable of course, one thing I read on a MC site was just to take it one day at a time and have mini milestones rather than waiting for the 12 week scan. I really don’t think you can read too much into symptoms x

@zoomies1 you’re a good friend, it’s so tough to put a brave face on.

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry about your friend that’s so hurtful, as others have said this is really about her and her problems, you’ve done nothing wrong.

GP appointment was good, she was a young trainee but lovely. She said nothing springs to mind since I’m clearly ovulating and DH’s sperm working, it’s just not sticking. Asked me lots of questions and given me the forms to get lots of bloods done at the hospital so I don’t need to get appointments. Have the progesterone test even though she thinks that’ll be fine since I’m ovulating then other tests to do on the beginning days of my next cycle, can’t remember what exactly and I need to pick up the firms since the printer stopped working after the first. So we’ll see what they say and she mentioned maybe an ultrasound. I’m ovulating today/tomorrow so at least that’s something.

So many typos sorry! Got the impression she was ordering more tests that she should really so that’s good.

@Catconfusion thanks! You are so sweet ♥️ How disappointing about your friend, true friends should be there in the difficult times and the good ones. I know it’s hard just now but if she is going to do that then I would suggest she’s not someone you want in your life. Don’t let anyone bring you down! Sending lots of love your way ♥️

@MrsMGE 2 days yessss! Almost there!!! ♥️

@Kiki061190 I know, so happy 😊 Another week closer for you as well, yay! 😊 You OK? I've been on the same bandwagon as you & I have to say, being relaxed about conceiving feels good. It's a relief not to feel worried for a change. I hope we stay calm for as long as needed ❤️

@Catconfusion that is a terrible friend!! Even if she has issues, to do something like this to you when she knows you're trying to not stress out is really rude. You deserve an explanation at least! I wouldn't spend any more time worrying about what happened, she is clearly in the wrong.

@MrsMGE ooh exciting, where are you going on holiday? :) we are going end of next week for a week, I can't wait either! Good you're relaxed about TTC. I do temp and use OPK but it's because I feel we don't have much time to lose if there will be a problem with the next pregnancy or if it might longer to get pregnant again, but I will reign my expectations in and not be devastated if it doesn't stick this month, I'll be on holiday and relaxing, and will test last day of my holiday!

@MrsMGE staying chilled is the way to go. No charts to look at ect! Can’t wait! Finish up 4 weeks tomorrow and it can’t come quick enough. My works been hectic!!!! Fingers crossed we get some bfps here soon! ♥️♥️♥️

@Sunstruck Thanks 😊 We're having a full on detox, going to a tiny place by the sea around 3hrs drive from us. No Internet, no WIFI, nothing but trees around. I'll be going running and taking my dog for long walks. Can't wait 😊 Where are you off to?
Re pregnancy, my recent thought is that if I'm one of the terribly unlucky women who will have to go through the MC several times because maybe I do have an issue that I don't know about, then I'd rather crack on and go through this awful time as soon as possible, not spread it out, and also be referred sooner. I don't want years of losses if, of course, this can be avoided. I'll give it few months naturally and then maybe do the same as you if nothing happens. Tbh if it's not stressing you out then that's great, it sure will increase your chance and that's definitely good news 😊👍

@Kiki061190 I'd say it's time to start holiday shopping! I remember my shopping before Italy, I just love all the summer dresses, shorts and sandals ❤️🇮🇹

I've treated myself this week to some new tops and shoes, although nothing overly extravagant or glamorous this time considering I'll be cliff walking with my dog and no one but DH will see me 😂 xx

@MrsMGE oh that sounds lovely! We are going to Asia, I have some family members still living there so will be a nice family reunion, and DH has never been ☺️ I agree with you about what you said, I also want to know ASAP if I have a hidden problem with me or not so I can address it ASAP if needed.

@Kiki061190 oh where are you going? :)

I'm glad to hear it seems most of us have come out on the other side and trying to see things more positively again. I still think about it and get sad, but we just need to try look to the future I guess!

Morning ladies and thank you for all your support yesterday. I feel a lot better today and nothing more I can do. My ex friend and her husband have blocked me and cut me out for no apparent reason so it’s pretty harsh. Nothing I can do though apart from work on the friendships I do have.

So it was a bfn for me at 9 dpo. My sample was very clear looking though I guess down to needing to go in the night after only two hours asleep so not a big enough hold to test. I’ve been drinking a lot of water as feel dehydrated. Feeling a bit sickly now as well. I will test on Saturday morning. With all the stress I had yesterday I’m not holding out much hope but you never know! Xx

@Catconfusion just look after yourself, they sound toxic! When is your AF usually due? Might be a bit early to test?

@Sunstruck This sounds amazing. How long are you going for? I have quite a few places on my bucket list in Asia & Australia/NZ, and tbh if we saved up now, we could go next year. But I don't know whether to book long haul flights, because what if??? I know this sounds like a first world problem. In reality what I mean is that this is one of many things that happen when you're in this limboland which, on the whole, is not the best place. I might wait a couple of months and book something closer to home for next year.

I catch myself not thinking about the MC all the time. I have my baby in my heart at all times, but it's no longer a dark cloud of grief over me. It's my girl who will never leave me, and even though I'm sad not to have her here physically, I know she'll always be a part of me. I'll travel the world with her ❤️ I'll have more children and she'll always be their big sister ❤️ She'll always be loved and remembered by so many people ❤️

@Catconfusion It's your overall wellbeing that matters, a temporary situation like this one shouldn't affect you. Try not to think about it too much now, because the longer you do, the more it might affect your chances though. Focus on the good people in your life, like you said. People taking an exit from your life often turns out to be a blessing longer term xx

@MrsMGE 1 week only! Unfortunately.

I know exactly what you mean, I actually booked a trip for March/April next year but cancelled it as I wouldn't be able to go if I caught quickly now... but then again don't know if I'd catch quickly! I told myself I'm going to give it to the end of the year. I also want to change jobs which I can't now when I'm trying 🤦🏻‍♀️ everything is in limbo and feels unfair. I know some other people have it worse though!

Oh you knew your baby was a girl? That's sad 😔 I didn't know what my baby was as it died at 9 weeks, too early for any tests...

She will always be there with you :)

@SunStruck I don't know for certain, I had a MMC at 10 wks, but I just know I'd have had a girl. DH's grandad who is sadly not doing very well and says he's close to dying now also told me he knows it was a girl. I'm not particularly religious or spiritual, but I totally believed him.

Also re jobs, I had three offers I've rejected due to pregnancy and two new ones now. What do we do? Do we not even look at them? I honestly don't know.

@SunStruck my LP is usually about 17 days but I got a bfp with my last pregnancy at 9 dpo. It’s still very early though and appreciate it could still come. I need to know as need to schedule my dental surgery. They won’t proceed until they know if I’m pregnant or not. I will test on Saturday.

I get what you’re saying @MrsMGE and @sunstruck and I’m trying hard to keep busy and not think about it. It’s just distressing. Today is definitely better but as soon as I sit and relax I get intrusive thoughts and feel sick to my stomach about it. I’m trying my hardest to block it out.

@bananamonkey I’m so pleased you’re progressing forwards with tests. I really hope they can find something or in the meantime you get a sticky one. Xx

@SunStruck I’m going to sorrento in a month and I can’t wait! Feel like I need sun ☀️

@MrsMGE oh the shopping I’ve been doing is crazy! I totally have been treating myself!

@Catconfusion don’t give up hope tho at 9dpo! @sadtoday21 never got her BFP till 14dpo ♥️

@Kiki061190 I spent the entire month in work, missed out on the best weather on weekdays and now next week it's going to rain. Talk about luck!!! But I don't care, still going to enjoy it 😊 I'll stick some wellies on and sit by the fire in our cottage 😊 Bliss!

@Catconfusion yes don't give up yet, still early! :)

@Kiki061190 oh how lovely I love Italy... we went there for our honeymoon last year, Positano and Amalfi! I cannot wait to go back one day, best holiday ever ❤️

@SunStruck @Kiki069910 not giving up as very early. I didn’t get a positive until 14 dpo with my first pregnancy. If it wasn’t for the dental appointment I’d not test until then.

@Kiki061190 that's true! My first pregnancy that ended in the mmc I got the BFP at 10 dpo, but this time I had BFNs at both 10 and 12 dpo, with a shocking BFP at 14 dpo. That being said, I was using cheap tests (not frers) this latest time around, so not totally sure they were working properly.

But you definitely never know and of course 9 dpo is still a bit early. Everything crossed for you @Catconfusion!!! Also wanted to say don't worry too much about your friend - you seem like a lovely person and she doesn't sound very stable to me. Regardless, please don't think it hurt your chances this month - I am positive that stress, drinking, coffee, etc. none of this has any impact on conception for the vast majority of women. It really is just luck, as hard to accept as that is. I hope this is your month Xxx.

@sadtoday21 I agree about it being luck!

@SunStruck I’m going to the amalfi coast for a day, can’t wait to get away!

@MrsMGE I’m the same! Working through all the heat. Awful! I need to wear a suit to work as well 😂

@Sunstruck That was our honeymoon too! Sorrento, Positano and the surrounding islands. Loved it 😍

@Kiki061190 Poor you. I hate suits with a passion, they look good but how uncomfortable on a hot day 😣 I need to look smart but luckily not necessarily suited up. I'm a rebel, walk to work in flip flops and swapping to heels on arrival 🙌

Evening ladies, I agree to some extent about conceiving being luck and stress not being an issue. Having said that I have pcos and I know it’s aggravated by stress. If it can stop my ovulation I have a feeling it could mess with implantation. Also a good friend of mine miscarried when her Dad suddenly died. So shock and stress can affect pregnancy. I still think it has to be pretty bad to have an affect but there is a chance, especially when someone is sensitive to the affects of stress. Cortisol is very damaging to the body.

I just have a feeling this isn’t my month. I’m getting some symptoms but I know I’m sensitive to progesterone so probably just that. I will of course test on Saturday and I won’t rule it out but either way I’m just glad I ovulated on my own. Our fertility letter should be with us soon so at least we’ll have help soon! Xx

Hiii ladies!

HAPPY FRIDAY! I can’t wait for the weekend off, my mum moves house today and I’m excited to help her!

@Catconfusion remember last month I said my gut instinct said it wasn’t my month. It’s weird how we have a feeling!

@MrsMGE oh and the suits aren’t flattering.... you’re finally there! Happy holidays after today ♥️♥️♥️