First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

@EPSpartyof3 yes I was pregnant with twins and I lost them at 9.5 weeks in May. AF returned late in June. We started trying again but no luck so far!

@EPSpartyof3 I almost wish I could say I'm glad it's nearly over for you, but of course it is a bittersweet feeling which I know very well. You feel relieved to an extent, but it's also a big shock to the system. All I would say now is take things slow. Your mind is rushing 100 mph, your body is halfway through the process and your hormones will be decreasing at a very fast pace. Please do not underestimate this. I hear you have lots of things to look forward to, and that you have a positive attitude that things will happen again for you soon. That's fantastic to hear and keep your spirits up as much as you can - it will help you big time. But, please be kind to yourself and if you need to pause and breathe, or if for whatever reason you won't be able to move forward quickly and get on with things at your usual pace, that's absolutely normal. It is time to put yourself first and don't be afraid to do that. At this stage you will not know how you're going to react after the miscarriage is completed, physically and mentally - and I wish someone told me that at the time. Some women go back to their normal lives easily, and that's very lucky. Or perhaps their emotions are suppressed. Some move on to the next phase of various emotions and grief, which is not easy. So just watch yourself and do all the things that your body and mind need to heal ❤️ I'm sorry again, it is a terrible thing to go through, and the loss of your baby is something that never leaves you xxx

@sadtoday21, how are you feeling today?

I'm not so great. My temps dropped again yesterday and I hoped it would go back up again today because it was JUST above the coverline. Sadly, today's temp is in the same place and AF seems to have arrived.

Everything was looking so positive although the crampy feelings had changed slightly. Whilst logically I am not massively broody, I feel really disappointed. I don't know what i am doing wrong.

I went for blood tests this week for iron, thyroid etc as I haven't been feeling brilliant so I'll see what they say and I have a GP appointment booked for in about 4 weeks (on my birthday.....) as it has been six months since the erpc and nothing is happening.

It looks like my body is trying to do everything right but I am convinced I have an issue with my lining because my 'periods' are SO light. Last month it was basically two days of barely more than spotting.

I think I am going to book a private scan because I don't trust the GP to acknowledge this and do something about it. I just need to work out the right time to do it because the clinics don't advise on that as patients are normally referred by specialists. If anyone has been through this process, please let me know what you did.

@MrsMGE thank you so much for giving me some wisdom it nice know that other women can truly understand what I am going thru.. thank you for your kind words I really appreciate you taking the time to write to me
I’m trying hard to move forward but it is just so sad I feel like I am stuck. Like I’ll be ok, then I break down. I need to back to like before and I don’t want to I want to go back to a month ago, feeling on top of the world and ya being so happy and having everything we have ever prayed for. I need to stay positive and know it will happen again. I’m just scared

All hail dtd and cooler weather!!! 🙌

How is it going ladies? Hope those of you who have had a tough time recently are feeling better ❤️ and those of you who are on the up now are on an even bigger up ❤️ xxx

@Kiki061190 yes it was our first - my first we just ended it yesterday so I need to wait for my first period before I try again I think ?

@EPSpartyof3 it’s recommended to wait for your first AF to try again. Mines came 38 days after the procedure. I had a regular 28 day cycle previously.

@MrsMGE heyyyy! 6 weeks today until holiday! Have dtd a few times this week but it’s been so warm it’s hard to sleep! How are you?

@Catconfusion how are you?

@zoomies1 so sorry to hear things aren’t going smoothly! My first AF after mmc was so light! But the last one started light and got heavier thankfully. Fingers crossed for you the GP can help ♥️♥️♥️

Hey everyone, thanks for asking @Kiki061190.

I’m actually good, guess what I finally ovulated and what a relief. I can’t stop looking at my beautiful chart. It was day 32 in the end which isn’t my longest but it’s been quite a marathon. It’s probably something most ladies take for granted but it’s big news for me. I’m now officially three days into the tww. I’m hopeful but if it doesn’t work out I’ll be ok. We have our fertility appointment coming up. I’m just so pleased it’s happened so I don’t feel as broken. It mine and DHs joint 40th party tomorrow night. I’m not going to drink just in case which is a bit of a bummer. I know it would probably be ok but it’s more for my piece of mind.

I hope you’re all ok this evening! Xx

@Catconfusion OMG YES!!!! What a relief! I’m so happy for you ♥️ Fingers crossed for you! How long is your LP normally? Hope you have an amazing birthday party 🥳

@Catconfusion It's all about mocktails! I can taste your 40th party virgin mojitos from here - they taste great and don't leave you hungover, how good is this?! This is how we roll in our 30s and 40s! 💪 Have a great time tomorrow 😘

@Kiki061190 It's getting close! How is the fitness mission going? I'm on fire this week tbh, dtd, gym sessions, burning those calories and I feel like a new woman! Even put some fake tan on to make myself feel better lol. I'm kind of happy-ish this week, even though it didn't start very well after my friend's news. I somehow got over this and surprised myself! Busy weekend ahead with family & friends and I'm looking forward to it 😊 I enjoy being around people again, and that's great news xxx

@zoomies1 Did you have heavy AFs before? Any particular reason you think this may be a lining issue, is this one of the symptoms? I'm sorry this must be so stressful for you

@Catconfusion forgot to say, congratulations on your O, very pleased to hear this 😘 xxx

@MrsMGE It’s going well! I think being busy has been helping as well 😝 that’s great that you’re feeling better as well. Are you tracking anything this cycle or just keeping it casual? I deleted Fertility Friend from my phone because the charts were too tempting to look at 😂

@Kiki061190 No, tracking precisely nothing! And dtd'ing for pleasure, I'm such a rebel 😂 I don't actually think anything can happen this week. I kind took a view that if it happens quickly then great, but if not then that's fine too, obviously things are still quite fresh. Enjoying life at the moment and also counting down till my holiday - 1 week left 😍

I'm back for some support. It's three months since my miscarriage and we started TTC this month and I'm symptom watching and convinced that I am pregnant and now terrified to move for fear of losing again I was so good all month with BDing with no stress just chilling and now I feel like I'm going mental and I look it too. I am so scared and I don't know how to move forward. What if it never happens again like I never fall pregnant? What do info if I feel like this forever? I'm so scared I think that's it for now.

@MrsMGE I had fairly heavy periods when I was younger and I think it’s normal for that to change as you get older. I was on the pill for a long time and switched to the mirena coil for about four years. My first period after that was light and short but it was a period. Got pregnant the next month but since the ERPC, I could get away with one panty liner a day and last month ‘AF’ was only two days of essentially spotting.

It looks like it could be related to low oestrogen which would also explain why I can’t lose weight but who knows. I’m on count down for my appointment.

@Catconfusion congrats on ovulation! Fingers crossed for you that you get good news at the end of your TWW. xx

@Rainbow8bubbles, yes, it sucks! Just remember that we are all here with you, supporting and hoping for the best for you. I think we often start out feeling chilled and trying not to think too much but by half way through the TWW that’s well and truely our the window!

@zoomies1 I see. You know your body best, if you feel something isn't right then the only way to find out is through tests. You got to trust your instincts when it comes to plumbing down there, don't you. One lady on another thread has a similar issue and I did mention Ashermans syndrome which apparently is a common side effect of ERPC, have you heard of that? I don't know much detail, but apparently it can cause your AF blood to get stuck instead of coming out in the usual way, think it's something to do with scarring? I have no idea how it's diagnosed but apparently it can be treated fairly easily especially if your periods haven't stopped completely, that's a good sign. Or like you said, hormonal imbalance? Or PCOS? When you were on a pill and then had a mirena, has anyone checked your hormone levels beforehand or throughout? I hope this appointment comes quickly for you and don't let them fob you off, I'd be going in armed with as much knowledge as possible so they can't play it down and tell you to go away instead of addressing the issue xx

@MrsMGE ooooh you’re almost there! Holiday time soon! Do you know when your next AF is due?

@zoomies1 I also agree about trusting your gut instincts, if you think something is off then I think you know your body best! Hopefully you know soon ♥️

@Rainbow8bubbles totally understand how you feel. It’s completely normal to be nervous, try and keep busy and only test when AF is late cause it’ll drive you crazy!!!

@Catconfusion major congrats on O!!!! Everything crossed for you this month. And wishing you a very happy birthday! 🎈🎊🎁🎂

@zoomies1 I hope you find some answers soon and that everything as it should be. Xxx

Hi everyone hope you all are doing well - been about 4 days since I found out about my MMC and I am moving forward no one tells you how painful the actually emotional and physical process is I have needed to take tramadol because it had been unbearable ...
I hope to start my week out well and happy with lots of goals for moving forward .. back to working out and eating healthy and biking my body to be able to have another baby when we are clear .. I still break down and am sad .. anyone else have this goal? How much hope do we have ? And faith? To move forward and know in our hearts we are meant to be parents.... do you feel this way? How is everyone else coping ? I’m journaling a lot and trying to get out there and live life

@Kiki061190 No idea, I have just finished my first AF after the MMC few days ago. Does anyone know how ovulation works after miscarriage, as in does it happen in the usual way, i.e. there are few days a month when you can get pregnant or is it possible to ovulate more than once or over an extended period of time? I read a lot that apparently you're "more fertile" after a miscarriage and trying to understand how this is possible?

@EPSpartyof3 It's all very raw for you, don't pressure yourself to feel good all the time as it's unrealistic. I guess all of us on here are doing things that help us heal emotionally. I exercise, jog, had lots of various holistic treatments, read a lot about miscarriages and dealing with grief, and generally read a lot. I spoke about it openly to everyone who listened. A lot of people listened and most then opened up themselves. It's helpful. I'm practising mindfulness and living in the moment, trying to calm down my brain, enjoy more, it makes me feel less anxious when I look to the future. You can't change the past, and no matter how horrendous it was, you need to face that fact - it won't go away. In time it will no longer be a monster. It won't feel as traumatic and you will be able to internalise it and live with it. You may feel it is weighing you down now, but trust me, this won't last forever. You will have more better days than bad days. Take your time and prioritise your wellbeing, don't rush into things until you feel better x

@MrsMGE yeah it just works the same as normal! There’s usually about 5 fertile days. I ovulated cycle day 15 just like normal in my first cycle after mmc. We did everything ‘right’ but we didn’t manage to conceive that month so not sure about the being more fertile!

@Kiki061190 Thanks. I thought so. Tbh I think it's a myth, it's probably the case that more people are monitoring when they ovulate and dtd'ing then (or doing it more regularly) because they're determined to get pregnant again.

I have no idea when I'm going to have an O now, mostly because my cycles are slightly irregular (by about 2-5 days) and also because my first AF after the MMC was after 37 days. I'm not going to temp or try to work it out. I just wanted to understand whether I can actually get pregnant sooner than I thought. I know it's stupid, but I've had a few symptoms. Obviously I can't be pregnant yet, it's my brain playing tricks with me. Xxx