First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry this cycle has been so terrible for you 😔 really hope this is AF so you can move on to a new cycle. How long have you been taking the inositol? Sending hugs xxx

Thanks @3204ECL it's been two months but I'm now wondering if because my pcos is very mild it's just making things worse. I was 20 odd days into a long cycle when I started it so it's hard to know. Just feel like after the mmc and mc my cycles should be getting better not worse.

I'm so pleased you're doing well. I hope Friday comes quickly for you! Xx

Massive congrats also to you @Amanda81 on your baby girl. It's so exciting! Xx

@sadtoday21 it's so nice to hear from you. I was just thinking that I should come on here to see how you're all doing and give you an update.

So still no af in the 11 weeks since my surgery despite two confirmed ovulations. Unfortunately my GP was really no help at all so I decided to speak to an Asherman's specialist in London. I'll be traveling up there next month for both a scan and any necessary treatment. It will be expensive to go private but my dh and I decided we couldn't put a price on our future family. I'm so excited to be finally taking some positive action.

@sadtoday21 I'm sorry about dh being away. It's so frustrating when you only have that little window each cycle. Don't forget though that I conceived under exactly the same circumstances so it is possible. xx

@Amanda81 if you've had your scan yet then I really hope it all went ok. xx

@3204ECL am I right in thinking congratulations are in order?! xx

@Catconfusion I haven't completely caught up with the thread but I'm sorry if you're still struggling with ovulation. If you're currently waiting then I hope it comes soon. xx

Welcome to all the new people. I'm sorry your circumstances bring you here but I hope this lovely thread brings you as much comfort as it did me at my darkest time.

Thinking of you all always ❤️ xx

@Catconfusion it still looks like a possible O on cd38 to me, hoping for you that it’s just a hormonal dip today and goes back up tomorrow. You must be so frustrated with this cycle and the spotting is also really puzzling 🤔 (I never spot either except at the end of AF). Maybe try next cycle without insitol and just do the epo? I would think your cycle would be back on track now since the early mc - mine definitely seems to be since my early mc after the mmc (although my LP is ranging from 13-17 days, which I’m sure is not normal), but not sure whether your pcos is making it harder to regulate. And with your low carb diet too it’s just awful that it’s not working (hate low carb as I’m a vegetarian!). I’m so frustrated for you! Hoping you get another rise tomorrow and can still celebrate that BFP for your bday🤞.

@Amanda81 I’m so so happy all is well and it must have been great to see her looking so much bigger now! What a relief to be out of the 12 week period. Are you feeling better now? December will be here before you know it! So happy for you 🤗🤗🤗

Well I don’t have much to keep me busy now - unfortunately! Submitted my thesis chapters and just waiting for my assessment. I’ll try to relax and take it easy with DH away. I’d like to think I have a good attitude about it, but tbh I cried myself to sleep last night thinking we were missing the fertile window this month! Stupid I know. I just felt sad and I badly wanted to try this month. I’m promising myself a vacation next month but really I just want to see a BFP. But trying to be stronger today!

Sorry for the x posting! You ladies type fast and it took me an age to compose my last message 😂

@Amanda81 huge congratulations on your scan!! You've now made it past that milestone that holds such horrible memories for us all. A Christmas baby girl. I'm so so happy for you xx

@3204ECL congratulations! It's so exciting to hear of another pregnancy on this thread. Sending you lots of luck for your first scan. xx

@AnnaMC214 it’s so good to hear from you and I’m so happy you are going to see a specialist and finally get the proper treatment. It will be such a relief for you to move forward and it’s also a really great sign that you have been ovulating regularly! I know you will have good news for us soon! Thinking of you xxx.

@3204ECL wow! I’m so excited and nervous for your first scan! How are you feeling? Hoping that all will be well and that the time goes by quickly. DH is gone for 8 days so I will be cd20 by the timehe gets back- I think far too late for bding. But anyway, you inspired me to take a break from all the ttc pressure and I think it’s helping me, apart from a few moments of weakness!

@sadtoday21 glad the break has helped. I was just the same as you last cycle my DH was away for a long weekend when I was due to o and I got really upset about it. Also cried myself to sleep as just felt it was a wasted month. I was totally irrational but at the time felt I felt so sad and angry about it. That was what made me want to take a break from tracking etc as I felt it was getting too much. I'd totally written that month off and was ready for the next month but it turned out it wasn't a wasted cycle after all! Fingers crossed for the same outcome for you. Hope you manage to keep yourself busy while DH is away.

@AnnaMC214 thank you. Still very early days here. Counting down the days but also terrified about the scan on Friday. How are you doing?

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry I can imagine how frustrating it must be. What did the doctor say when you went back last week about the length of this cycle?

xxx

@3204ECL thanks. The doctor just said she can't diagnose pcos as my bloods and last scan was normal but it's likely I have a mild version of it due to my history of cysts on previous scans and irregular cycles. She thinks the mcs may have hit me harder due to my age (40 in a week and a half) and predisposition to irregular cycles. We have a fertility referral in the pipeline so hopefully if I don't ovulate we'll get some help. Feeling sad and exhausted today! 😞 xx

@AnnaMC214 I'm so glad you're able to see a private doctor. It's such a shame the nhs couldn't help you with this. Fingers crossed for some positive results! Xx

@sadtoday21 thank you. I really hope so but I'm feeling really strongly like AF might come. The spotting has stopped but sharp cramps so all in all not feeling good 😞. I'm trying so hard not to let this affect me as stress will probably make it worse but feeling really helpless! Xx

@Amanda81 I'm just simply over the moon for you. So glad you've got that mile stone out the way. Xx

Hi @Amanda81 such lovely news to hear about your rainbow, sending lots of sticky bean wishes, sounds like it's going well. Also sorry we are in the same situation, do you have any children yet? The thing that terrifies me is I don't know if I can carry to term as I don't have any children yet! The uncertainty is awful :(

Hi @Catconfusion after my first MC I started spotting mid cycle on and off which wasn't normal for me, so much so, I ended up booking a scan to check everything was okay and fell pregnant waiting for the referral letter(!)...the doctors couldn't pin point why the spotting was occurring, and just labelled it as hormone related - maybe the same for you? Funnily enough the month I fell pregnant, I didn't have the spotting, strange.

@sadtoday21 glad you got a BD in this morning! Remember the swimmers can stay alive for up to 5 days in fertile CM and you mention you have EWCM which is the best kind! Don't want to get your hopes up, but you never know sweetie.

My temps are going down nicely, I want it to be August already so I can be in my first TTC month!!

Hey @BabyPending welcome to the thread and sorry for your loss.

It's more than certainly a hormonal cause. I'm on the second cycle after two back to back miscarriages. The first one a mmc with surgery at 12 weeks and second a natural loss 4/5 weeks in. My body has been through a lot. I didn't spot last cycle and ovulated day 36 so very late. I'd expected a much more normal cycle this time but it's much worse. Not sure what to think really other than my hormones are messed up. I had some blood tests early in my cycle and they came back normal 🤷🏻‍♀️. I guess they fluctuate as the cycle progresses. The way I feel today I just want to give up and not have to keep going through this 😞.

I hope you can ttc soon. It's the waiting between that drives you crazy! Xx

Morning Ladies,

Hope you're all doing well today.

Thank you for your warm welcome. Mumsnet sometimes gets a lot of slack online, but honestly I don't know how I would survive the last few weeks (and also my first pregnancy prior to MMC) without it. As a community, you (and we now) are invaluable, and I just wanted to thank you all for this 🌺🌺🌺

Today is my first day in work after MMC. I'm feeling more ready than before, but still anxious. Hope it goes well.

I'm listening to "Never Give Up" by Sia en route to work. What a song. I do love a bit of music therapy 👌

Have a good day all, keep smiling xxx

Hello @MrsMGE I'm loving your positive attitude. It definitely helps through difficult times.

Have a good first day back. I hope work is a good distraction and helps with the healing! Xx

Good morning ladies!

@AnnaMC214 I’m so sorry yous till haven’t had AF, so great that you’re going to see a specialist. You’re absolutely right about there not being a price in regards to family 💗

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry this cycle has been so up and down for you. Hoping you gator answers soon! Don’t give up, it will happen for you ♥️

@BabyPending I have no children yet and i feel the same! Completely worries me but I’m trying to just remain positive as the midwifes didn’t seem to think anything was wrong. It’ll happen for you!

Me and OH were chatting last night, he was the one who wanted us to start TTC this year with the original plan being for me to come of BC and us to start trying in July. It’s so odd how I fell pregnant in March and wasn’t expecting it. Now we approach July when we originally planned to start trying and here we are at the beginning of this journey. Hopefully all good things ahead ♥️

P.s I typed that whilst walking into work so please excuse the typos 😂

Thanks for your all your well wishes guys, it really does help. Going to do a quick reply as I am jumping out the door for a meeting...

@BabyPending - this will be my third pregnancy, but sadly no babies yet. I like you feel that there is something wrong with me, but am constantly told by all the midwives that I have seen in the last 7 weeks that it is brutally common and for some women the journey takes a little longer. I am also 38, and have been trying for a while, and am struggling with the age thing.

I have been feeling more like myself @sadtoday21 @3204ECL - but the tiredness and slight nausea is still lurking. I am now getting headaches, which I never get really, so I am finding that hard, especially when I am trying to work. But overall, I keep saying 'bring on the symptoms', if this means I get my pit of gold at the end, then it will all be worth it.

Love and hugs to all xx

Thanks @Kiki061190 I've been chatting with DH about taking a break from trying. I've lost so much of who I was before it's scary. My body is not responding at all this cycle. Last time was a WTF and this is a WTAF! I did have a better mindset but the longer it's gone on I've got ground down. Now with the spotting I'm just not sure I can keep facing this. Im scared about turning 40 and missing our chance but I just want my life back now. Xx

@Catconfusion have you thought about maybe stopping temping and just seeing what happens the next couple of months? A lot of the time once you stop thinking about TTC it happens. You have gotten pregnant and so quickly in the beginning, predicting O seems to be the issue!!!! It’s being a tricky little bugger!

I’m on day 3 of AF and it’s pretty much gone. I only really have one day of medium bleeding and the other days are just spotting. Back to normal. Let’s see if O comes on day 15 as usual!

Yes I think if there's no rise tomorrow we will stop temping for this cycle at least. It's difficult though because without it I have no idea when my period will come or where I am in my cycle. It also makes dating a pregnancy hard as I can't go by my LMP. If we want to try it means dtd every other day indefinitely as well. At least with Ovusense we can stop once I get confirmed O, then its 3 weeks nearly before I get a period. Long cycles are very difficult! Great news about AF for you! xx

Hi ladies, those that know about temping may I ask a question? My temperature dropped a lot when I got the chemical pregnancy and hasn’t really recovered much so far (on day 11 now), does this mean I’m unlikely to ovulate now this cycle do you think? Like I’m starting low so I don’t have anywhere to go if that makes sense? Or can cycles vary that much in terms of starting temperature? Really weirdly had lots of EWCM yesterday which I normally only get 1-2 days in a month bang on ovulation, I’m at least a week off that though I think. So confused

@Catconfusion I am going to have acupuncture and/or reflexology to try and relax and hubby and I will just enjoy being together and see what happens. This is my thinking now. On one hand I'd totally love to have a baby ASAP, on the other I am anxious about losing another pregnancy/things going wrong. I am 33 this year and whilst I know there's still time, I selfishly always wanted more than one child (mostly because my siblings died and I didn't want my child to be the only one like myself). So considering the road isn't easy for me anymore, I feel I should get on with things. But I totally think that enjoying the process makes a huge difference, and I still want to live my life instead of focusing solely on conceiving again. So hubby and I are going for a lot of TLC and enjoying ourselves as much as we can to improve our health & wellbeing. Much love and please do not put too much pressure on yourself (although I totally understand it's easier said than done!) xxx

And just to add, I spoke to the acupuncturist and read lots online - it helps with regulating the cycle too, if it's of any help xxx

Thanks @MrsMGE and if I was even a year younger I would be far more chilled about it. We'd love to have two children too but at nearly 40 that's looking unlikely. Unfortunately we met a little too late in life. So with such little time I don't think it's easy to just see what happens, especially when my cycles are two months long. It's so easy to just miss when I'm fertile.

We'd also love to have acupuncture but simply don't have the money. We got married, had the honeymoon of a lifetime and bought a house just before the mmc. I then took a load of time off work mainly because of the second mc messing me up hormonally.

I had another small rise today and FF is standing by me having ovulated so maybe it did happen. I'm not spotting today but I have very sharp ovary pain which is worrying me. I might have to see the doctor.

I'm starting to worry that the prenatal and supplements are messing my cycles up. I wasn't really taking anything before we got pregnant: pregnant the first time: pregnacare when I remembered. We weren't trying. My cycles were much better then. I'm thinking it might be worth dialling it back to folic acid and letting my poor body sort itself out. Xx

@bananamonkey the EWCM is a good sign and I don't think your temps are that low. Mine have been about that at times. That big rise looks good though. Fingers crossed! Xx

@bananamonkey my temperatures were a bit up and down and all over the place after mmc but the eventually calmed down and according to my app I did O that month. Don’t worry about it! EWCM is a great sign!

@Catconfusion it’s such a shame as women we feel we have a time constraint to conceive! I was speaking to a colleague at work about this yesterday. She’s just turned 31 and she’s down because she has no OH and no children, no mortgage ect and she feels that she’s a complete write off and it will never happen! It’s how we’re trained to believe! I tried to reassure her that these things happen at a different age for everyone and there isn’t a perfect age for anything. I swear this mmc has opened my eyes up.

@Catconfusion I see where you're coming from. Sorry if I've unintentionally upset you by throwing ideas into the mix that might not be the best in the circumstances. I guess all I was trying to say is that getting pregnant seems to be much easier if you don't focus your mind on it which was the case for me and tbh, everyone I know. Having said that, I can completely recognise the importance of monitoring your body in your situation and I would be doing the same thing. As hard as it is, please don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen as quickly as you wish for though. Personally, stress does mess up my hormones and the best thing really is to relax your mind, even if things don't go strictly to plan. That does not need to involve any expensive therapies - you know what sort of TLC you like and enjoy, whether it's running, knitting, reading, having a bath with candles or simply listening to music. Now, don't get me wrong, I am absolutely not saying that these things will get you pregnant, that would be a ridiculous trivialisation. What I'm getting at is putting yourself first in the centre of that process and making yourself happy which certainly won't harm. That is because one dag you will be carrying your lovely baby for 9 months and your body and mind need strength to do this.

A good friend of mine has been through a very similar story to you. Met her hubby to be at 37, bought a house, got engaged, started TTC and sadly lost her baby. It took them a while to conceive again, but she is now 15 weeks, and just about to turn 40. Good things happen. Please don't give up your hopes just yet 🤞❤️

Re supplements and vitamins. I read tons of research papers after my MC. I have no idea whether there's anything wrong with me, but I suspect if there is, it might be something to do with sticky blood, I can't be sure though. Obviously I won't be taking anything that hadn't been prescribed by a specialist, so hoping for the best with any future pregnancies. However, I took Seven Seas during my first one, and apart from creating a tummy revolution, they contain Vit K which in itself isn't bad. But it is not necessary either, and it might not be a good idea for those who actually do have that disorder as it should not be taken together with aspirine, heparin etc (any blood thinners). So this time, I am going for a 5mg folic acid (extra strong dose which I've also researched myself I needed and told my GP because I have a family history of hydrocephalus - which I have only now found out is indeed linked to spina bifida and I should have been on 5mg FA all along, but that was not the case) and Vit D. That's what is recommended by the NHS and I feel safer for it. To be completely honest, I'd suggest you research the ingredients yourself and talk this through with your GP if you have any concerns or questions. I guess what you take might depend on your individual levels too (e.g. iron etc.).

Hope I haven't bombarded you with all thus information, just sharing what I've done recently myself, again in hope for a better outcome in the future. Might be a complete placebo. But we may be lucky, and it's worth a try. Lots of love and hope have a good day today xxx

Thanks @Kiki061190 This is the thing, if everything goes to plan starting late is fine. Friends of ours are the same age and got pregnant when we did and everything is fine. There's just no margin for error when you get older. We definitely feel like the mmc has dashed our chances of having two kids. I'm pretty confident we'll have one at least, maybe with some help.

I don't feel it's necessarily a societal pressure to have a baby now. Sadly it's biology. Egg reserves do rapidly start to deplete at 40. It's not overnight but by 45 most women can't conceive naturally. There are exceptions but by 43/44 things start getting very tricky.

Your poor friend. Having been in that situation I would say my only advice is to trust it will happen and not to tolerate bad behaviour from guys and get into bad relationships due to the feeling of time running out. I was dating the wrong guys and looking for the wrong things. My DH would do anything for me and looks after me. Tell her to wait for someone with a good heart and don't settle for anything less. Xx