Pregnant after 2 consecutive losses

[ChesMum2019]

Hi looking for some reassurance or advice from any pregnant again after consecutive losses. I took a test 17th it was positive and have taken daily since. Other than sore boobs and sleepiness loads of cramps I've no sickness. I'm only just 4 weeks. I'm paranoid every time I go the toilet that I will see blood. I didn't even get excited when I seen the two lines just numb. I don't even want to get attached because it will probably happen again. How did you get through it ? I'm going crazy already.

Hi there,

Not sure if this will help but I’m in exactly the same situation as you. Early mc at 5wks back in July 18, then mmc (9 wks) discovered just before Xmas at 12wk scan. 3rd bfp on the 14th Feb but, like you, I’m feeling absolutely paranoid now. Can’t become attached cause just waiting to fail again. Try to make myself feel better by saying ‘at least the nhs will investigate this time’ but it seems little consolation.
I have a doc appointment next week and I’m really hoping they will offer me an early reassurance scan. It wouldn’t be so bad but I also turn 40 shortly and it feels like I’m supposed to drop off a cliff at that point, fertility wise!
I just can’t believe this is meant to be.

I had my little girl (20 months old) after 2 consecutive MMCs. Hang on in there. I know it's tough and it'll never be as exciting as the first time you are pregnant but there is always hope xx

Hi there thanks for your reply. It's horrible isn't it. I actually had all the investigations done in October last year and they said there was no cause. So I guess that's something. I lost at 12 weeks in oct17 and 10weeksJune18. I can't even bring myself to make a doc app as I feel like it's more dates in the diary that I'll hate if I don't make. I can get a early scan they told me to call once I fell preg but I think I'll just wait a while. The thought of going for a scan and being told no heartbeat makes me sick to the stomach. Currently I'm petrified to go for a wee incase I'm bleeding. I think I totally underestimated how hard being pregnant after the losses would be. It's like I'm deliberately trying to not get attached but deep down I am. How are you feeling ? I'm over analysing every little thing at the moment

Just wanted to say I understand completely (five miscarriages and an ectopic before our two rainbows arrived). I didn't even allow myself to buy anything or dream about bringing baby home until I hit 35 weeks! I just took each day at a time, being quietly grateful when each day had passed uneventfully. I also had plenty of reassurance scans which made a huge difference. It's tough going but looking back, I definitely felt each week was a bit easier than the previous one. Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy!

Another one who has had two mc and is now pregnant! Made it to 26 weeks so far but I'm a nervous wreck still! Feeling her move about has calmed me slightly!

Massive handhold to you because mc really spoils pregnancy doesn't it! Completely understand being nervous going to the loo! My new mantra is that whatever happens will happen and all I can do is my best :-) hope you're okay xxxx

Thank you for your lovely replies ladies. It's so rubbish that anyone ever has to experience miscarriage and I don't think you even realise how it then ruins every step of future pregnancies. I just feel numb. Only myself and my husband know and I doubt if this pregnancy continues I'd tell anyone until about 16 weeks. I feel like even 4 weeks away from now is a lifetime away. I'm trying not to think about it and over analyse everything. I'm literally just 4 weeks. My boobs are huge and so sore. My tests are lovely and dark. I'm tired but no sickness. Is it crazy I want sickness to give me reassurance.

Oh bless you. It takes all the joy out of the early stages of pregnancy. If you can wangle an early scan that really really helps. Going to the loo is still a complete nightmare and I am 23 weeks with no.4 (though now getting cautiously excited and daring to buy the odd baby thing). I had to be dragged into the room for the 12 week scan and shook like a leaf the whole time. I did a lot of meditation to keep me a bit calmer, but it didn't take the visceral fear away. I have dealt with it by trying to treasure what I feared would be only a few weeks carrying my little one, as if I'd lost it I'd have felt even sadder if I hadn't tried very hard to love and honour this little family member while they were with us. But I'm soppy, denial is possibly a safer route. Even though statistically you are really unlikely to be unlucky 3 times in a row I wish you all the luck in the world. I have lost 4, had 3 and another little girl on the way. Will you update to let us know everything's OK?

Threadedwithstars thank you for your lovely message and maybe your perspective on this is better than denial. I can get a early scan I just need to call up. I just can't bring myself to do that yet. I'm scared that I don't feel sick. Yet the numerous google searches tell me this is normal at 4 weeks and it may start soon enough. I just remember being told last time everything would be fine and I let myself believe it. I can't bear that feeling again. I didn't even expect a positive this month. We had been trying since July totally missed ovulation this month so I thought plus I had laparoscopic surgery very beginning of jan. I appreciate all the responses and I'll definitely be back on here. Not having anyone but the hub to talk to about it is hard as I don't think he understands my fear of going for a wee or anything.

I don't think I was sick at 4 weeks with any of mine. And some people are just luckier than others, each pregnancy is different, you might not get sick. I'm sick as a parrot with my girls, and the boys I have been right as rain and energetic. The boobs are a great sign though. I guess the advantage of getting this pregnancy logged in is that the support kicks in with scans and proper investigations etc. Your little baby sounds like a bit of a miracle already! My husband is very sensible and rational about the whole thing, I am the opposite. You've made it through today, well done.

Hi, I found out I'm pregnant on Tuesday after a missed miscarriage last June, also had a missed miscarriage in 2015. Have had the dull achey feeling in lower back and tummy, every time I go through toilet I'm checking the tissue paper to make sure there's nothing there. I too have been told I can have a reassurance scan but haven't phoned up for that yet. Remember feeling sick with my little boy which I think started around six weeks. X

Hi Laura it's a horrible feeling isn't it. I'm trying to take the day by day approach. I've had a major headache for last 24hrs my boobs are on fire and napping is my new hobby. I've decided I will call if I make it to 6/7 weeks to book in for a early scan. I don't want any dates in my diary of oh I should of been at a scan today etc. I think I have resigned myself to knowing for as long as I am pregnant I will have this anxious uneasy feeling and paranoia about going for a wee. Which is sad. I just want to feel sick I know that's really stupid but I want that extra reassurance.

I know I want to start feeling sick too it's a big reassurance when you are. I've been going to the toilet loads for a wee, my boobs are a bit sore and feel bit sick I really want everything to be ok, I'm trying to be positive as my godmother said think positive cause everything that goes on in your brain affects your body. Have been feeling quite tired as well. Just don't know what to do about the reassurance scan only because of knowing where it will probably take place and that's where I had to go when I had it confirmed that my baby didn't have a heart beat, but I know that there will be the two scans that we have that we'll be going to everything crossed and I hope and pray that everything will be ok. Xx

I'm the same about going for the scan the thought of even stepping foot in the hospital makes me feel sick. Told my husband earliest I would be scanned is 8 weeks. I feel it would be conclusive by then. Going to hold out calling the recurrent unit until about 7 weeks. How is everyone doing. I keep waking every morning around 4/5

Went the hospital yesterday as was getting pains, they ruled out ectopic pregnancy which is a relief and said the pains could be related to wind, constipation, stretching or scar tissue from my c section. They booked me in for a scan in two weeks time when I'll be about 6 weeks, anxious about that.

That's reassuring. It's horrible when you dread the scans though. I wish the days would go by quicker too and get me to a safer place

Hi @ChesMum2019. I am really sorry for your loss and wishing you the best for this time around. Everything you have written about the scan and anxieties regarding a new pregnancy really resonated with me. I lost my baby at the 12 week dating scan (I was almost 13 weeks, baby stopped growing at 9 weeks, but it was a mmc so I had no idea). I had the D&C two weeks ago. I'm not pregnant again yet, obviously, but hoping to be so again soon and also really haunted by the idea of having to go back to that same hospital for future scans.

I was really excited for the first scan, since I never had one before, but considering how terrible that was, I don't know how to go through it again. What makes it worse is that I never had any bleeding or morning sickness or anything...so now even if I have no symptoms I'll just worry. How are you dealing with the anxiety of it all?

It is, same here. X

Reply hi sadtoday21. I'm not really dealing with it at the moment. Every time I go for a wee I feel sick and check I'm not bleeding. I'm eagerly wanting to feel very sick to so that can be some comfort. For now I'm going to not register or ask for my early scan until the 8weeks mark. My miscarriage in Oct 17 was similar in terms of no clues I had lost the baby. The one in June was bleeding and cramps and lots of early scans etc. So the actual thought of attending the hospital again makes me feel lll. I wish you lots of luck. I never imagined this pregnancy to be so hard mentally.

How are you doing Lauraliverpool?

Hi @ChesMum2019 doing ok, though didn't sleep much last night as had some brown when I went the loo but read up and said it's common at 5 weeks even so it's been on my mind, have still got lower back ache and what I can only describe as like a dull deep achey feeling in my lower tummy which I think is everything stretching. How are you doing?. X

Same as you Laura I had a little brown spotting and should be around 5 weeks and a few days. But have totally convinced myself I'll miscarry and that it'll be bad news. So I called the recurrent miscarriage consultant and I'm seeing her Friday for a scan. I have already accepted it's probably bad news. I guess after previous loss the second you see any spotting you always assume the worst 😰. I have on and off mild nausea nothing bad so again that makes me think it's bad news too.

We've got to be positive I know it's easier said than done with what we have previously been through. These are new pregnancies and that is what I'm keeping in my mind and saying to myself and also try to remember each pregnancy is different. My husband looked up brown spotting which can suggest implantation which occurs around this stage of pregnancy this is what I'm keeping in my mind as well. I have my reassurance scan on wed and I know these next few nights I won't be sleeping much. XX

How are you feeling about your scan tomorrow ? I've had brown spotting once a day for last few days. Feel like Friday for me will just confirm what I already know deep down.

Trying to distract myself, got a banging headache which I think is partly due to being tense and anxious. Have you spoken to anybody about the spotting?, The early pregnancy unit? How many weeks are you now? X

Hope all goes perfect today Laura x