Pregnant after 2 consecutive losses

[ChesMum2019]

Hi looking for some reassurance or advice from any pregnant again after consecutive losses. I took a test 17th it was positive and have taken daily since. Other than sore boobs and sleepiness loads of cramps I've no sickness. I'm only just 4 weeks. I'm paranoid every time I go the toilet that I will see blood. I didn't even get excited when I seen the two lines just numb. I don't even want to get attached because it will probably happen again. How did you get through it ? I'm going crazy already.

Thanks Jenn feel like I'll be a bit better prepared when we go, it does sound like it's very involved what they are going to do. I will let you know how it goes 😘 glad you are doing good lovely. Xx

Hi Laura how are you doing ? How did you get on at the clinic? X

Hi Jenn, I'm ok was asked my history as you said and my hubby the same then asked us how we felt at being referred to the clinic and then had some bloods done that day think was thyroid, blood clotting etc. Went yesterday for projestertone and have to go again between day 2 to 4 on my period having to go by a app to give me an idea when next period will be been getting AF type symptoms so thinking in the next few days. Got the consultant appointment on 27th of June with Linda Watkins. Got a text yesterday from my GP to day the pathology results were back and the GP had reviewed them and no further action required but I'm going on Thursday so going to ask what was said, I don't know now if the communal cremation will now take place bit reluctant to phone the honeysuckle team as when I did few weeks ago when I went away just seemed it was like we won't know. How are you doing?, How's bump?. Xx

That's great that things are starting to get looked into. Linda is lovely. I'm doing good thanks hun. Just enjoying some half term activities with the little one. By the time you go again in June you should have some answers one way or another which will be good for you. Take care hun and keep in touch x x

More bloods done today and popped in to see Pauline and Sarah for little chat. Hopefully have some answers when we go in June. Glad to hear you're doing good and enjoying half term with your little one, we've started with the potty training today see how that goes 😁 you take care too lovely let me know how it goes and will definitely keep in touch. Xx

Only read the posts here today and new to mumsnet. Have had one miscarriage, then dd and then two more miscarriages. Doctor will refer me to recurrent miscarriage clinic due to age... do they do all those tests when you are referred? I don’t want to wait to try again. Click is ticking... any advice welcome. ChesMum2019 u give me hope with your pregnancy... good luck.

**clock is ticking

Hi @Unicorn9 first appointment at the miscarriage clinic I had was on the 9th of may, we were advised that whilst investigations are taking place to not try again until I presume everything has been done, I had some blood tests done there and then, then had to go between day 2 to 4 of period for blood tests and I had another blood test on a certain day. Have an appointment with the consultant on 27th of June which I presume will discuss the outcome of the blood tests and possible more investigation, we did also have genetic testing done. I had one miscarriage in 2015 then had my little boy, then miscarriage last year and most recently one in April this year. Sending you lots of love. Xx

@Unicorn9 I had all the tests done at the clinic and it came back as no reason found so I was left feeling deflated that we didn't ttc while having the tests but I guess that's a chance you take. They do say if you were to fall preg when undergoing the tests to call them and they will see if any results are back and see if they can do anything to help. But the one thing that's helpful and reassuring is the amount of support and advice I have been given by the miscarriage unit in this pregnancy. I'm still under Linda Watkins's and had a scan every 2 weeks from 6 -16. I'm due another scan this week at 20 and then one the following week at my consultant app . They are also there to reassure in the early weeks too. So I'd go ahead and be referred anyway. I know where you are right now in terms of feeling like there is no hope as I was the same for such a long time. But now I feel like everything we went through was for a reason and we have our little boy to look forward too. The one thing I will say is be prepared for the emotional and mental stress of pregnancy after recurrent loss. I'm still unable to relax and look too far ahead as it all feel so surreal x

Hiya
Thank you so much for your replies. I can understand re emotions of being pregnant again. I won’t stop trying atm as I am 40 now and worried if I stop it will eat into anytime I have to try. I have doc appointment on Wednesday so hoping to be referred. I would love to have the support of more regular scans. Unless you have been in this position, no one really knows what to say to make things seem hopeful or better so thank you and good luck.

Hi ladies,

Thank you for your stories, I am so sorry for your losses :(

I'm going through my second miscarriage, D&C scheduled for Monday. Only ever been pregnant twice and twice failed. I'm only 28, petrified something is wrong.

Life is so cruel and i feel like an awful person for saying this but I can't stop myself feeling resentment to those pregnant around me who are nearing the due date of their first time pregnancy. Especially towards the friend who describes her pregnancy as a "massive mistake". We are really trying to keep hold of our baby and you are granted one you didn't want at the beginning! :(

I just want this all over so we can try again, I am hoping to the end of the earth it's 3rd time lucky for us.

My heart goes out to all you strong women who have been through a lot more.

Hi BabyPending
I can do understand what you are going through. My yoga teacher was talking on and on about her pregnant daughter about to give birth and my neighbour has been telling me all about her new grandson both knew I miscarried and didnt think twice about being sensitive around me...

I read an article this week about a lady who had 13 miscarriages and then had a successful baby. Please don’t give. Age is in your side and you will be ok and I am sure it will work out for you both. It’s so hard being positive and fine about it all especially now. Big hugs and good luck on Monday.

Ps I am in an nct group who all have two children now and one on the way and I’ve just muted their WhatsApp to cope with it all... maybe tell this friend you need some space and take it until you are strong enough to face it... if she is a good friend she will understand

Hi Unicorn9

Thank you for your kind words.

I don't blame you at all for wanting to silence the Wattsapps. I hope it gets easier for you too. I have 3 people in my life due to give birth soon following their first uncomplicated pregnancy, I really have to try to act excited in preparation for the births and buying the baby shower gifts..

Trouble is, we have told no one about our pregnancies or miscarriage. My parents and sister knew about the first but not this one, trying to go it alone. I just feel so ashamed and embarrassed my body is letting me down like this and telling people will mean they know we are trying and the pressure that creates terrifies me.

I truly hope luck is on our side for the next attempt xx

I have done lots of research around miscarriages given I’ve had three and a Dutch study showed that woman who miscarry their bodies are actually really good because they hold onto a baby that most bodies may not do. Your body is doing exactly what it should and it’s being so amazing that it doesn’t want to let go of a baby that maybe had something chromosomally wrong with it. Someone once told me that luckily someone else takes the decision to end a non viable pregnancy as no mum would choose it. Wish I could give u a big hug to make u feel better, it’s such a lonely time...

@Unicorn9 Thank you that makes a lot of sense to me and actually makes me feel a little better. I'm sorry you've been through this 3 times :( god you are so strong. Are the doctors offering investigation now? Sorry if you've repeated this before!

Next time I fall pregnant I will go straight to the docs for my bloods to be taken to see if my hormones are okay, I read about people having successful pregnancies after progesterone and aspirin..I wonder if that would help me too and maybe you? Probably clutching at straws I know..

Just wish if this was going to happen in my life, it would happen after having at least one successful pregnancy so I knew my body could do it in the first place! This could be the start of a very long painful journey for me, who knows! :(

Xx

Not strong at all, just determined. The clock is ticking loudly for me. I have been referred to a gyne but heard nothing back re an appointment. I also heard about progesterone and aspirin.

I have a dd but have had two miscarriages after we had her and it still hurts. To be honest after I had one I thought oh that’s ok its like last time before I had dd but then I’ve had another and I always wonder if I will be able to have another. I wake up every morning and go to bed every night praying it will be this month that I have a healthy pregnancy. It’s so hard... especially when everyone else around appears to be pregnant. It gives me hope to hear stories of people who miscarried and then had a successful pregnancy afterwards.

I am so sorry you have to go through this too... it’s so difficult to process and experience...

Hi BabyPending
How did you get on yesterday?

Hi @Unicorn9 thank you for checking in, I'm feeling better thank you - MC side effects are easing and I finally had a good nights sleep last night!

I'm glad it's all over as I can finally move on - it's been a really long 3 weeks waiting for the inevitable to happen. Looking forward to getting my cycles back and trying again. With 2 friends and a family member due in the next couple of months I need to try get focussed and excited for them..

How are you getting on? Xx

Hiya. You are sounding more optimistic and it does feel so much easier to move forward when everything gets back to “normal” and there are no more symptoms.

I was referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic over two weeks ago but they haven’t done anything yet, not even an appointment and there isn’t really a clinic where I live so I reckon nothing will happen on that front. Wish I was in London!

@Unicorn9 oh gosh I really hope you get you referral appointment soon :( how frustrating! Wonder if there are any tests like bloods that you can get done at your local doctors in the meantime? I have also read stories of people falling pregnant whilst waiting for their referral (I've read a lot!!) so keep going in the meantime, you never know :)

Sending luck your way xx

Hi, I was looking for some advice just had my second miscarriage this year. My partner keeps on telling me we will be fine and to try again. I feel like my body can’t do it again looking for reassurance. Like a previous post I keep telling myself if it happens again then doctors will take it seriously.

Hi Lindsay93
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s such a horrible thing to happen to anyone. If you have just lost one (like me, a month ago) then I think your feelings are quite raw and only you can decide when you are ready to try again if that’s what you want to do. I tried again straight after as it was my only coping mechanism but I think I started my period today and I’m devestated. I was referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic as I am over 40, on thyroid meds and have had two in a row so maybe ask ur doctor for a referral. The epu nurse suggested this when I had my last miscarriage. Big hugs and I’m ever so sorry....

I am so sorry to hear about you also. Yes still very raw as in the last few weeks. I had first MC in jan then again may. As it had only happened two times they won’t look into it. I feel my self searching the internet constantly trying to make myself feel better and I don’t want to get to the stage where I am not enjoying sex and it becomes a job.

Hi @Lindsay93 so sorry you find yourself here. We sound to be in a similar situation, my first miscarriage was 31/12/18 and my second a couple of weeks ago (missed miscarriage) and I'm waiting for my first AF to arrive so we can finally start trying again!!

I completely understand how you feel, I have been worrying myself sick something is wrong and feeling so completely low and deflated. I heard from someone who is going through IVF that 30% of eggs of a healthy 30 year old are chromosomally abnormal and there's just nothing we can do, it's a numbers game :( but it did give me hope that I might be in luck one day and it's probably nothing I am doing wrong.

I really hope you feel better, I promise time will make it easier. Xx