First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hello everyone - I've never posted on these forums before, but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and I found out at the 12 week dating scan two days ago. It was my first ever pregnancy. Yesterday, I had D&C and now recovering. Really healthy otherwise and no signs at all that anything was wrong during the pregnancy, although I never had any morning sickness.

I am really in shock and this happened on the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death (breast cancer), so the whole thing just feels like too much to handle. DH (dear husband) is very supportive, but I don't have any women friends to talk to, besides one who is more than 20 weeks pregnant and well...I just can't deal with that. Any advice on how to recover emotionally and also when to start trying again? GP said to wait 3 weeks, but I don't think I can wait that long. Please help and thank you.

@3204ECL it's unbelievable how quickly time goes and how consuming this process is. I guess pregnancy is like that too but we don't know when we'll get our baby. Distractions I think are so important. I've finally booked a hair cut so should feel better after that.

I hope you're ok at the baby shower. I can imagine that'll be hard. I hope your friend is mindful you've had a loss and you're in a supportive environment. It's so hard wanting to be a good friend yet knowing that would have been you in the summer had it not been taken away. Let us know how it goes. Xx

@Catconfusion thanks for asking after me and for sharing your friend's experience. It's great to think that I could recover as well as she did. I had my first phone call with Charring X today, the specialist center in London for molar pregnancies, and it sounds like the process is fairly straightforward. If all goes well and my levels reach below 5 quickly and stay down, I could be back to ttc again in May or April. In the meantime, trying to get healthy and focus on finding myself again too.

I completely related to what you said about losing yourself and spending way too much time in lounge-wear. I also work from home a lot as I am writing my doctoral dissertation and I spend far too much time in pyjamas! I haven't been socializing much either, just kind of hiding away at home and not feeling up to it - physically or emotionally. Today is exactly six weeks post surgery for me and I still don't quite look or feel like myself yet. Hoping to change that and start going out more soon. And maybe start wearing actual clothes again.

I did some meditation last night and I am feeling much calmer today. TBH, the waiting is still hard and I am still tracking bbt to try to anticipate AF. I think about it in the back of my mind, but with a bit more detachment now, and a lot less anxiety. Maybe my internal energy force is slowly returning.

@3204ECL setting goals is definitely a good way to cope with it. I'm trying to do the same thing. You are very brave and a good friend to go to a baby shower right now, not sure I could do that yet. Fingers crossed that next week brings AF for the both of us!

@sarmum14 hope you get it organised soon, good luck for the job interview, hopefully organising it will be a good distraction.

Sorry I’m away this weekend so only had chance to skim through updates, will read properly later. I’m quietly freaking out over here, got a bfp yesterday, tested again today and still there.

Hello All

Hi @sarmum14 - holiday starts tomorrow. Really looking forward to it. It's usually the case where everything comes as once. I hope you can find the head space to prepare for the interview. Best of luck, I'm sure you will smash it! Xxx

Not sure what to do next @sadtoday21 i.e. wait ttc or get on with it. The GP said I could get on with it if I wanted and the only reason to wait was for dating purposes. This MC hasn't really phased me and I only heavily bled for 2 days, so hopefully my cycle won't be wonky. I think what we will do is not actively try, but also not prevent it. My appointment with the consultant is on the 4th April...and want to be able to do any tests once I get my next AF. I also want to focus on me for a little bit (health, weight etc). Hope you are okay xx

Thanks @3204ECL - Scotland is a magical place. The baby shower sounds tough, you are a very good friend to be able to do that. I hope you have the emotional strength to get through it and enjoy xxx

@bananamonkey - is that a fresh BFP? If so, massive congratulations! Xxx

@bananamonkey really!!!?? I do hope it's a new pregnancy. How exciting! Keep us posted! Xx

@bananamonkey this is wonderful news, keeping everything crossed for you! X

Yes it’s a new one, (I think!), got the negative test from EPU on 11th (around same time I think I ovulated) and this yesterday so it super super early, had a small inkling so did a test as well as OPK. Haven’t even told DH yet as I’m so scared it’s not going to progress. We’ll see.

Wow @bananamonkey definitely a positive. I'm so happy for you. Just try and take it as easy as you can. May I suggest getting blood tests done to check the progression. I've decided next time rather than driving myself crazy peeing on sticks I'm going to do blood tests. My GP has agreed to this.

I've got everything crossed for you and hoping it sticks. Xx

Aww @bananamonkey - keeping everything crossed for sticky one 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Ah massive congrats @bananamonkey! Lovely news. I agree with @Catconfusion - anything to help put your mind at ease. Xx

Hallo everyone
Thanks for your responde I called them today and they said I should come as an emergency because the appointment date was May 6 which was too far because I feel so sad.I hope for a positive result

@Queenss good luck, hope you get on ok and they can get you some help x

@Queenss good luck I hope you can get some answers and a positive plan x

Just wanted to wish you a happy holiday @Amanda81 - hope you and DH have a thoroughly restorative break, filled with wine, Camembert and steak. Lord knows you deserve it. Hopefully by the time you're back I'll be joining you on the road to recovery. Sending you love. X

@bananamonkey massive congratulations! How many weeks post-mmc are you now? I hope this experience is better for you and that you aren't too anxious about it.

@Amanda81 I think it's a great idea to just take the pressure off. Sometimes good things happen when you don't expect them. Have a wonderful holiday in Scotland xxx.

@Catconfusion I hope you have a nice getaway as well and the socializing isn't too stressful. You deserve a nice break.

@SARmum14 how are you feeling today? I hope the shock has worn off a bit now and you are feeling confident that all will go well next week. Hopefully the follow-up is quick and you will be back to ttc again soon X.

@Queenss I really hope you get the care you need and some answers. Take care of yourself.

@3204ECL I am 8 DPO today and I can hardly stand the wait for AF! I feel like the hormones are going down though, I really hope so. How are you doing?

Received the letter from oncology this morning...it's scary stuff. I guess I will be starting the samples next week. Fingers crossed for me that the next sample is negative!

Hey guys. 4 hours into a journey and already feel like I've had so much time to take stock with the DH.

Have you got any holiday plans @sarmum14 and @sadtoday21??? It can't be easy getting the letters @sadtoday21, but things are heading in the right direction and I have a feeling you will be given the all clear to start ttc earlier than you think. Trust your instincts and the clues your body are giving you...if you feel less hormonal you probably are xx

@sarmum14 - I didn't know what a MVA was. So having done a bit of research, it certainly sounds less scary than an erpc, and they do give you something for the discomfort. I guess the only thing I would be uncertain with is the fact they you will be aware of what they are doing down there and the awkward nature of it all. 5 minutes and it will all be done with. Try and think about it as if it's a smear test...I hope you get your appointment for this coming week and you can have it all over and done with xx

When I get back from Scotland the 100 day countdown starts for our next holiday. The DH turns 40 in July and I am taking him away for a surprise holiday to Cyprus. I'm spoiling him to a suite with a private pool. I hope he likes it. Obvs I will be turning 40 in a few years and have already hinted about going away 😂😂😂

@sadtoday21 thank you, it’ll be 6 weeks post-ERPC on tuesday, think ovulation was pretty much bang on 4 weeks after the op which was sooner than I expected.

I hope you tests go well, everything crossed for a negative x

Enjoy your breaks @Amanda81 and @Catconfusion x

Wow @bananamonkey, that's amazing! I'm so so happy for you and I hope all goes well. I have to admit I'm just a little bit envious or maybe just a little sad since I am also six weeks post surgery and no hope of a bfp anytime soon. But I really, truly wish you the best and I hope that all of us soon will be close behind you. Sending hugs to all xxx.

@Amanda81 I have not got any holiday plans yet, but did spend all morning researching it! I need to stay here for the next week or two for work and to send in my samples to the lab, but otherwise I might try to travel somewhere warm and tropical. I've been longing for the ocean lately. I just keep telling myself to wait for AF next week, wait for the negative sample, wait for my skin to clear...and then I can live life like a normal person again. I'm getting there, but not quite there yet. I do feel calmer about the mmc, but not totally back to myself yet. How are you feeling? How is the holiday so far? Sending you hugs and good wishes!

Thank you, 2 of my nct friends gave birth last week which stung a little but I knew it was coming, I’ve learned I can be happy for them and sad for me at the same time, it’s not necessarily mutually exclusive.

Hope you can book a nice holiday soon, somewhere hot and by the sea sounds perfect right now!

Ok well that was short-lived! Negative test today

The perils of early testing, guess it just wasn’t ready to stick yet.