First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hello everyone - I've never posted on these forums before, but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and I found out at the 12 week dating scan two days ago. It was my first ever pregnancy. Yesterday, I had D&C and now recovering. Really healthy otherwise and no signs at all that anything was wrong during the pregnancy, although I never had any morning sickness.

I am really in shock and this happened on the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death (breast cancer), so the whole thing just feels like too much to handle. DH (dear husband) is very supportive, but I don't have any women friends to talk to, besides one who is more than 20 weeks pregnant and well...I just can't deal with that. Any advice on how to recover emotionally and also when to start trying again? GP said to wait 3 weeks, but I don't think I can wait that long. Please help and thank you.

@Amanda81 I’m sorry, as so understand it digital tests aren’t as sensitive as the normal tests so hopefully bloods can be more definitive for you x x

@Amanda81 if something is wrong then I’m incredibly sorry and sending you all the hugs in the world. I was so sad when I read your post, but I just remembered that those digital weekly indicators only go to 3 weeks, right? I used to do them and it would only say 3+, so maybe it stops working at 5? I know it’s a long shot, but take a few other brands of tests with lines to look at the hcg. We are all here for you and sending you lots of love xxx.

@Amanda81 I'm so sorry to hear this 😔Sending every bit of hope that it's the test and bloods are positive tomorrow. X

@Amanda81 oh darling - I'm so sorry. But also echo what everyone else says - do one with a line for you to see and absolutely still see what the bloods are saying. Thinking of you.

OMG @Amanda81I'm so sorry. Can you do an FRER? I really hope it's just a faulty test. I know those ones aren't very sensitive. I've got my fingers crossed for you. Definitely worth getting bloods for you as you're much further along than me.

I have some very bad news too. My cramps got worse and worse to the point of being doubled over. I decided to do a test today to check the line progression as seemed to be progressing well when I tested during the week. Unfortunately I just got a very very faint positive on an FRER much lighter than the ones I got earlier.

I'm not bleeding but had a very small amount of browny discharge just before I got the positive test at the beginning of last week. Assumed this was implantation but now wondering if it was a sign it hadn't worked.

I definitely had very strong pregnancy symptoms but they have pretty much faded. I obviously had some HCG in my body but it seems like if an embryo tried to implant it didn't stick.

I don't feel its worth requesting bloods unless my doctor feels its necessary tomorrow. I should be 4 weeks plus 2 so an FRER would be obviously positive by now so I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.

A MMC and a very early MC (I hate the term chemical) back to back is pretty gruelling but not really anything I can do. I'm trying not to get too upset and hoping its not due to chromosomes again and a sign we'll have more losses in the future.

I'm a little worried about how much pain I'm in but I don't normally get severe period pains so maybe worse because of what happened. I've had cramps since I ovulated and they've got worse and worse so wondering if there's a problem with the lining. I don't think its a progesterone problem as I got a strong temperature rise and my temps stayed nice and high.

Sorry for rambling and not being very supportive to the rest of you. Give me a day and I'll be better just feel a bit consumed with this at the moment.

Guess I wasn't one of the lucky ones to have a successfully pregnancy straight after a miscarriage. Hope you're all doing ok today! @Amanda81, @Sadtoday21 and @sarmum14, particularly thinking of you! xx

@Catconfusion I'm sorry to hear this as well. What's a shiy day 😔. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but try to stay positive. Thinking of both you and @Amanda81lots today x

Thank you @3204ECL a shitty day indeed. Trying to look on the bright side that we've fallen pregnant on the only two cycles we've tried so 100% conception rate though no good it they won't stick. XX

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry, beyond words. This is a terrible day. I know there is nothing I can say to make it better for you, but just want you to know that you aren’t alone, we are all thinking of you, and this is a hard road that we are all going down together. It’s so hard to have hope and then disappointment and then hope again. It’s a crazy rollercoaster that we can’t get off because we want so badly to be pregnant again. I’m thinking of you

@Catconfusion that's something I'm holding on to as well, hopefully no issues in actually conceiving, we were very lucky it happened first try. I've had friends who have been through terrible journeys trying to conceive so that's one thing to be grateful for in this shitty whirlwind of a journey! X

@Amanda81 @Catconfusion @SARmum14 @3204ECL and to everyone else who had just been through the mmc or struggling to recover from it or struggling with ttc again...hugs. We will get through this eventually. In the meantime, there is wine. And vodka. So sorry to all of you for this pain and sending lots of love.

@3204ECL That's good news for us both and a sign it won't take too long next time. I was fully anticipating 6 months to a year as we're both nearly 40 so was shocked when we fell pregnant before properly trying. I also had polycystic ovaries when younger and barely ovulated so fully expected to need clomid as my Mum and sister both did. At the miscarriage scan I was told the condition resolved itself which definitely explains why I fall pregnant so easily now. I am a however a little worried I'm hyper fertile. This is where as you get older your uterus is more accepting of embryos, even if they're not viable. It seems like the body's desperate attempt to fall pregnant before it's too late. Would hate to have another MMC. Not just because they're traumatic but they take several months to resolve.

Sorry I ramble when stressed or upset! xx

@sadtoday21 thank you, it's a horrible day. How are you feeling today? I do hope you're coping in the circumstances.

It's such a hard road for sure. I thought my struggle would be falling pregnant and infertility. Had no idea it would be miscarriages and staying pregnant. Both are horrendous struggles. I can't help but feel in our situation, knowing what it feels like to be pregnant and start to growing a life has an extra layer of grief.

I had all the pregnancy symptoms again and started to get my hopes up and try to convince myself my horrendous cramps were just stretching pains. Alas they were not and we're really sad.

I always thought it would be easier to have a loss very early on and in some respects it is and I'm grateful its not another MMC. But now I can appreciate how early the bodily changes happen to support that new life and how painful it is to have it ripped away so soon.

Anyway I'll be ok I'm sure. I'm dreading the bleeding as I have my suspicions it's going to be really bad but once its all over I guess we try again! Xx

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry you are in physical pain on top of everything else. Please let us know how you get on and try to take it easy today.

Thanks for asking how I’m doing. I’m just waiting for Wednesday and I think I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we won’t be able to ttc again for some time. I had a lovely high temp spike yesterday and sustained high temp today. If it’s up again tomorrow then O is confirmed. Looks like a textbook graph and that makes me happy, but it’s bittersweet knowing that I probably can’t conceive again for the next several months. I just hope that it’s a partial molar that resolves quickly and that I don’t get even worse news on Wednesday. I’m still scared but it’s out of my control now.

@sadtoday thanks, its sharp stabbing pains. I'm not used to this type of pain so its a little overwhelming. Even with the MMC I had minimal cramps after the surgery. Guess it's safe to break out the stronger pain killers now. I'll talk to the doctor tomorrow and see what she thinks.

Oh no that's just sods law to get a rise like that. Can't believe they wouldn't tell you why you've got the appointment as might not prevent you trying. Anyway if I'm anything to go by, maybe the lining does need at least one period to get pregnant again so might be for the best. I'm a little mad my GP told us it was ok to try. Also wondering if she could have given me something to help with the lining as she knew we were trying. Anyway sure you'll be able to get trying soon as I'm still not convinced it's a molar.

If it helps my friend who had the molar (she's 35 btw) did have to wait 6 months and I think a clinic in London had to monitor her but she had no symptoms and it was just a precaution. Her ERPC had in fact got rid of all of the cells. She's now 20 weeks pregnant. Also she'd had a MMC a few months before the Molar which was her second MMC. A couple of months after she got the all clear from London she fell pregnant with the new baby. It was stressful but she's glad to be where she is now albeit with more anxiety than a normal pregnancy. Don't worry, you'll get there whatever they say on Wednesday! Know that's easy to say and very difficult at the moment for you to believe but you will! XX

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you're okay as can be. I've been reading A LOT about women post MMC/MC and some have mentioned increased cramping and pain and a general change is cycles after a loss. I was looking because I'm still getting severe cramps and sore boobs a bit now but still no blood. Are you seeing your doc tomorrow? Will you keep us posted?

Thinking of you also @sadtoday21 - hope you had a restful evening and are feeling okay today. Did you do yoga?! I did spin and cried again at all the babies going past the studio on their way to Water Babies swimming! To add to my current stress load I've got a job interview for a job I really want so I'm spending today frantically preparing my presentation and hoping to be my best self in it. When it rains...

Sending love. Particularly to you both today @Amanda81 @Catconfusion ❤️

Thanks @sarmum I'm not great but I'm going to allow myself today to feel bad and try and move on best I can tomorrow. Its hard with the impending bleeding but feel like my life has been on hold since before Christmas and revolved around pregnancy and miscarriage. I work from home which makes it worse. (not that I've worked much over the past few months).

It so disappointing as I recovered really well from the surgery only bleeding on the day and not really any cramping. My normal cycle seemed to kick in with ovulation at the normal time. I had a good strong sustained temp rise. Guess the problem is probably the lining as the cramps started post ovulation and really started to ramp up when I got the BFP.

It'll be interesting to see when the bleeding starts. I normally have a 17 day luteal phase so although I'd be over 4 weeks pregnant if it had stuck, the bleeding might come in line with my normal period. I thinking that would ordinarily be due midweek. From what I've read online I should expect a doubly horrendous bleed due to the early miscarriage and potentially ERPC recovery. I'm just gutted because I thought I was ok. Guess I wasn't. I must focus on the fact that as horrendous as this is we conceived again.

I have a phone call booked with the doctor tomorrow. I'd planned to talk about the new pregnancy but now I guess it'll be focused on the pain and why this might have happened. I'm also going to ask if I can have a gynae referral as my cycles are so long. I can't help think these too losses have something to do with it.

Sorry to hear you're still cramping a lot and not bleeding yet. It must be so frustrating. I hope it comes soon so you can get on with ttc. You've been through so much but better times will be there for you and hopefully all of us. XX

Sorry didn't tag properly @sarmum14

I’m so sorry @Catconfusion

@bananamonkey thank you!

@Amanda81 & @Catconfusion - sending lots of love and thinking of you both ❤️ Whatever happens, you’ll get through it and we’ll be here for you xx

Thanks @LMLP91 that's very much appreciated! Xx

Thank you for all of your kind words. I've busked myself in the garden today and have done a few tip runs. I am also holding on to my wee for the rest of the afternoon just to do another test - I am trying to hold for 6 hours! Not holding much hope, but will do another CB (just in case it was faulty) and also a frer. Will update you.

I am so so very sorry @Catconfusion - I have no words that can make you feel any better, but am here for you (as we all are). I hope the pains reduce, but if they don't, do crack open the higher strength pain killers. I hope the doctor is helpful tomorrow. Sending you massive hugs and support xx

Not to get too mushy...I know we don't really know each other, and it is a slightly strange concept where we share our inner most feelings and struggles with anonymous people...but over the last month of being on this thread, I have found a tremendous amount of support. I wanted to thank you all and am really hoping we all get what we are searching for really soon. Although this is a challenging time for all of us, positive and happier times are ahead of us xxx

@Amanda81 your plan sounds like a very good one and I really think it's better to know if something is wrong sooner rather than later after the heartache of a MMC. DH said I should test tomorrow but I wanted to know today so I could deal with it. So glad I did and didn't spend another evening thinking I'm pregnant and trying to explain away the cramps.

Please know I have everything crossed for you. Hopefully you'll have better results. It doesn't sound like there's any other worrying symptoms so hopefully just hcg taking it's sweet time. I know some people don't ever get a thick line on an FRER. I'm wondering if bloods would be a good idea anyway, for your mental health and reassurance more than anything.

Arrrh such a lovely comment. I feel supported in other threads but this one feels special. Maybe it's because we all experienced this very specific and heartbreaking type of loss at a similar time. We do seem to gel for whatever reason and I do hope we all have very healthy pregnancy's soon. Hopefully you'll be the first! Xxx

I haven't got a clue what's going on! I've just done the tests... the CB is now saying 1-2 weeks pregnant and the Frer has a line (albeit faint). These are the three tests that I have taken today...too one with fmu, the bottom two with a 4.5 hr hold (Couldn't do 6). Going mad!

That's a good sign @Amanda81 Is the FRER fainter than your first positive one? I'd definitely go for bloods tomorrow. Maybe just low hcg concentration this morning for some reason. Fingers crossed! Xxx