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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Miscarriage support

229 replies

EllieJayJay · 28/11/2015 23:20

Hello ladies,

It's so very heartbreaking when a miscarriage happens. It happened to me

I was a part of the July 2016 babies and I loved every minute of it, talking about my symptoms and cravings and then without warning my life changed in ten hours.

without any reason with little warning my baby was taken away from me, my heart broke into a thousand pieces - I held my tiny baby in its tiny protective sac in my hand and my life was devastated everything stopped - everything that was going to be disappeared in a blink of an eye and my life took a 360, every emotion within me went black and dark and nothing felt good, or safe or happy.

Very few people I knew, knew I was pregnant and over the past few days I've felt very alone.

So I wanted to start a post for ladies to share their stories in the hope we can help each other x

OP posts:
obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 14:30

How did you get on at the docs Ro? Xx

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 15:46

Ok. Was the same doc I saw the other day with Ciaran. She gave me bc and said to start it straight away. I thought I had to wait to bleeding stops completely. She is going to organise counselling but the one in gp surgery is only cbt and she thinks I need grief counselling. She also prescribed a v low (2mg) of diazepam incase I get more panic attack. Already had about 4 this week.

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 15:46

How did u get on at work?

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 18:22

I managed a few of hours - got done what I needed to but after that just found that my brain wasn't working I was staring blankly at the screen and just kept bursting into tears.

Went to the supermarket and came face to face with a heavily pregnant woman in one of the aisles and just had to abandon my trolley and get out of there. Came home and balled my eyes out.

Have just done the Xmas tree - house looks happy now, I feel numb.

Glad the docs have been helpful ro and good idea to have back up for your panic attacks. I've never had one though I think I felt close in the supermarket - felt dizzy and breathless and just had to get out.

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 18:24

Tmi sorry but is anyone else constipated? I've not been since before the procedure on Tuesday - far tmi but I'm too scared to push - maybe I'll get some laxatives

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 19:13

I haven't been constipated but find going sore. Still getting cramps and spotting a week after. V light spotting. Also find it gutted for a bit to wee, not like uti more a dragging pain. That seems to have gone now. obsessed u said about the pregnant women, I went to taxi cab office when I came out of docs there was a pregnant girl who I know lives a few streets away and she asked if I wanted to share a cab. I just said no. She must think I'm an ignorant cow.

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 19:14

Hurted not gutted

Love2014 · 04/12/2015 19:53

Hi I had my scan today at 12.5 weeks and found out my baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I'm super devastated... The baby (I hate the word foetus) is still in me, i haven't miscarried yet.. This is like a night mare..I don't know how you begin to get over something like this.. I don't know how I'm going to get over it. I have a feeling though already that I want to try again, but don't know how people keep putting themselves through episodes like this! It's a sad situation any help you can give me would be appreciated

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 19:56

Massive hugs. I was the same, went for 10 week scan and baby died at 6 weeks. Had to wait a further two weeks to be told last Monday that it was definite. Had erpc last Friday. Heart is breaking and head is all over the place

MummyC92 · 04/12/2015 21:03

Love Big hugs and love, I'm sorry you are having to go through such an awful time, take it easy and let yourself grieve x

Ro glad to hear you were successful with the docs! hope you aren't kept waiting too long for the therapy,
obsessed I'm with you on the pregnant women!! So hard to physically see it and without sounding awful I've been getting so cross watching mothers who don't pay enough attention to their babies or seem unbothered Hmm. Sat next to a mum having coffee the other day with her very young baby cooing and gurgling at her while she plonked him uncomfortably on her lap to look on Facebook, so judgemental I know as I know you can't be 100% all the time but feel so uncomfortable around it now!!

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 21:48

love so sorry to hear you have had to join us, it's an incredibly tough time but I can honestly say these wonderful ladies have made it just a little bit easier for me, I hope you find the same. Keep posting and love and hugs and strength to you.
mummy I literally had to squeeze to get past her.
I just wish someone could tell me what to do - how am I supposed to cope with this? I just keep sobbing xx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 04/12/2015 22:37

I started this thread to be kind and help people

I want to do this

I've suddenly found myself so angry

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 04/12/2015 22:40

I'm so very sorry X

I want to help others

I want to scream

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RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 22:45

Ellie scream. UV every right to be angry and if u need to take time to yourself, go ahead. Wel all be here when ur ready. We can all help.eachother whatever way we can. Hugs hun xxxx

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 23:47

ellie I've read that anger is just a part of the grieving process, there are about 5 stages apparently.
You've done an amazing thing by starting this thread - thank you xxxxx

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 23:55

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
I've posted this on your other thread too ellie my mum sent it to me xx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 00:04

I'm so cross and angry and I feel so guilty for saying this to you all

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 00:07

I wanted to start this thread to help people like me who had the support of their "due date" threads who wanted to scream and shout I didn't think i would be the one to do it

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 00:08

I thought I could help people X

And I'm the mess

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 00:32

U r helping Ellie. We're all the same hun. Let it out x

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:14

I'm so broken

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 12:02

Morning ladies. How is everyone. How e u today Ellie ?. Feeling low this morning. Almost like I cant cry. Had a couple of glasses of wine last night, was quite prepared for the flood gates to open again, but they didn't. I was being careful as Ciaran was here. This morning I took my first contraceptive pill again. I'm feeling lost as to me it marks my pregnancy being over, even tho it already was. Just can't get my head around things.

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 14:00

I feel better this afternoon, although am weak from not eating - I just can't eat

I am so very broken and on my own and don't know how to get around this

I am not going onto the pill as we are going to try again but I smoked and drank last night and as result I too feel like it's all over

I also feel very stupid for getting so upset

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 15:00

Ur not stupid at all. U needed to get it out of ur system. We all deal with grief in r own ways and whatever helps isn't wrong. Iv been cleaning today, haven't done much of that since first scan. (would usually be v v fussy about cleaning as iv two dogs and two cats). Think I might even wash my hair, as that hasn't been done since last Thursday. Been using shower cap to get in and out of shower as quick as I can because I don't like to be on my own. I'm with u on the not eating, tho iv been forcing myself as I was getting v dizzy and sick. I eat small, a biscuit r piece of toast with peanut butter. Peanut butter is a great source of energy, (tip).

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 15:53

Thank you x I felt so stupid

Am exhausted and got back into bed - so not copying really. Hate being on my own and will be all weekend I should go to family home really but my mum and she does mean well is a snap out of it type of person and I don't want to be nagged into doing that

I have a big tub of peanut butter I could just eat that later - am on yoghurts at the moment

Thought I was doing ok yesterday then boom back to the start

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