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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Miscarriage support

229 replies

EllieJayJay · 28/11/2015 23:20

Hello ladies,

It's so very heartbreaking when a miscarriage happens. It happened to me

I was a part of the July 2016 babies and I loved every minute of it, talking about my symptoms and cravings and then without warning my life changed in ten hours.

without any reason with little warning my baby was taken away from me, my heart broke into a thousand pieces - I held my tiny baby in its tiny protective sac in my hand and my life was devastated everything stopped - everything that was going to be disappeared in a blink of an eye and my life took a 360, every emotion within me went black and dark and nothing felt good, or safe or happy.

Very few people I knew, knew I was pregnant and over the past few days I've felt very alone.

So I wanted to start a post for ladies to share their stories in the hope we can help each other x

OP posts:
Original poster
EllieJayJay · 02/12/2015 21:43

So cross at your midwife, it's terrible. I get appointments are hard to come by but they shouldn't be so quick to judge and I was told to text mine otherwise I wouldn't have I would have assumed they would be alerted somehow - last thing on your mind really!

I did tell work as otherwise I would have been bothered constantly, I have to some extent but not as bad as if I was off sick (be glad to leave) and I could for a short while if I wanted too so I may just not go back. Not thinking about them again as it just stresses me out not what I need!

I've already declined the work do, cannot face that - apart from my mishap last week I'm not doing anything I wouldn't have done when pregnant can't bring myself to do it and also want to put another baby in their so figure that has to up my chances

I was surprised how I wasn't hungry on the apple diet, you eat an apple every time your hungry so your not hungry and actually my skin was wonderful afterwards. I don't know if I will stick too it, just feel I need to do something like that no idea why.

OP posts:
Original poster
EllieJayJay · 02/12/2015 21:44

I have lots of sewing magazines I've not looked at for a while, so been looking at those and greys anatomy...

And sleeping lots am exhausted with all his crying.

OP posts:
RoTo72 · 02/12/2015 21:51

All iv done is sleep, tho not getting much at night. Oh has a cold so has gone into spare room cos he's snoring like a jet plain, so I'm not really sleeping at nights. I work for royal mail. This is obviously r busy time of yr. Iv no intentions of going back this side of Christmas and will not be at the Christmas dinner either. Tho the girl who is organising it knows my situation, she lives nearby. She has had 3 losses and has been v supportive.

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 02/12/2015 21:59

that's good to hear you have work support, I think my support will disappear shortly - but DP will support me through this and hopefully I will hear about a new job soon (that pays more and has all new people) so I might be able to cope with that much better which would start early/mid January. Then I can just focus on getting we'll both physically and emotionally.

I'm going to go and talk to someone I think next week with DP.

OP posts:
RoTo72 · 02/12/2015 22:21

Yeah. I'm at gp Friday to ask about counselling

MummyC92 · 02/12/2015 22:49

Glad to hear both of your work places are supportive and giving you the time you need Flowers

I work for a really small company, I hadn't told them about the pregnancy so haven't told them about the mc. I will go to the do as it's noticeable if I don't, but I plan on driving there and back and using that (and childcare) as my excuse to not stay long.

X

obsessedlex · 03/12/2015 07:35

I've just had a though that. While we are making friends on here our angels are playing together wherever they may be Smile xxxx

marmiteontoast76 · 03/12/2015 08:34

Can I hop on? Currently in bed feeling upset. Lost my little girl at 20 weeks in Sept, no cause found. I've been doing ok recently but yesterday we found out she was a girl when all this time we'd thought she was a boy as that's what the midwife told us after delivery. She had died at 15 weeks so was tiny and it was hard to tell.

I've taken the day off work as feel like I'm grieving all over again. Also, I'm 7 weeks preg again and massively anxious, unsurprisingly.

These boards have really helped me the past few months as not many people I know understand the pain, unless they've been through it.

So sorry for all of your loses. Tough times, but hoping time will heal for us all. X

RoTo72 · 03/12/2015 08:52

obsessed that sounds lovey. Marmite so sorry for your loss. That is an awful thing to go through. I'm sure u r anxious, but wel keep everything crossed for your little one . X

obsessedlex · 03/12/2015 10:34

I thought so Ro
marmite huge congratulations on your new pregnancy and I'm so sorry to hear you are still struggling with your lost Angel - it must be an incredibly hard bitter sweet situ to be in now. Keep calm and have faith xxxxxxx

I've just ordered my oh a key ring with an Angel wing and the letter s on and myself a bracelet the same - we were calling our bubba Steve while he was inside - we don't know he was a he and wouldn't have called him that when born but for some reason he became that rather than 'bump' or baby - it was easier to talk about him like that in earshot of my little girl without her becoming suspicious I think.
She is 6 - it kills me that she has lost her sibling and doesn't even know that she was going to be a big sister. Xx

RoTo72 · 03/12/2015 12:07

Anno obsessed. That part kills me too. Altho ds is 15 he has Aspersers' and hasn't any social skills, never leaves the house, any friends he has r online gaming. When I found out I was pregnant all I could think was at least Ciaran will have someone when were gone.

MummyC92 · 03/12/2015 15:17

marmite I am so sorry for your loss and what you have had to go through Sad life is so cruel.. Congratulations on this pregnancy, of course you will be anxious Sad I'm sure everything will go well with this pregnancy. Try to keep positive Flowers

I'm with the rest of you ladies on being sad about other DC! My son is 4 and desperate to be a big brother and I know he would love it, but you never know what will happen in the future! Have you both thought about trying again? X

RoTo72 · 03/12/2015 16:30

I'm def not. My age and the fact iv endemeteosis would increase the chances of mc happening again. Couldnt do this again.

obsessedlex · 03/12/2015 18:01

I do want to try again but I'm terrified, terrified about having to go through this again and terrified that I'll be a basket case with anxiety.
Has anyone thought about counselling? Ro did you say that you were going to see someone?

Jw35 · 03/12/2015 18:22

Hi Ellie I know exactly how you feel, I was on the June 2016 thread. I only made it to 4.5 weeks but it was still hard. I was very fortunate to conceive again 2 months later and I'm 5 weeks along and in the August thread. Hopefully you will get your baby soon. The worst thing after a mc is you keep thinking everything will go wrong next time but it shouldn't! My 11 month old was conceived the month after a mc. Good luck in your rainbow baby Thanks

Jw35 · 03/12/2015 18:27

Sorry just read through and you were further along than me. Feel like my pain was nothing like yours Thanks

Bonywasawarriorwayayix · 03/12/2015 18:52

Hello everyone. So, I thought I was 'getting better' after my MMC at 10 weeks at the end of October. Then I had a melt down on Tuesday. It seems it can come back to bite you on the bum at any time.
We've been in Switzerland for the last 3 months. On Saturday we're going back home and I'll see 4 close friends either with new babies or heavily pregnant. I'm scared about how I'll react. We were 60:40 on having a DC2 (DS is 24 months) but I was so happy to get pregnant. I envisaged coming home to quickly arrange my 20 week scan and probably showing a small bump, now...nothing. I'm not sure what to feel any more.

RoTo72 · 03/12/2015 19:00

Hi obsessed, going to GP tomorrow going to ask to get referred to counselling. Oh and parents think I need "something" and I'm.sick hearing it. It hasn't even been a week, I think feeling this bad is perfectly natural, tho I think ty they're worried cos I wont go out. Haven't really been out apart from docs hospital etc from first scan on the 9 Nov when they didn't see heartbeat. Just don't want to see people. jw every loss is a loss. No matter how far u r. The min u get that positive test ue world changes xx. obsessed think it would be natural to be anxious if u got pregnant again, u had a good result last time, focus on that. X

RoTo72 · 03/12/2015 19:03

Hi bony . Sorry for ur loss. Something like this will never leave us, think we will always have moments that floor us. Just hoping as time goes on I learn to handle it better x

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 07:37

Good luck at the docs today ro xxx

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 07:43

Jwlovely to hear you are pg again - I think I remember you from the June thread - I was there too until Monday - good luck with everything.

I'm trying to go back to work this morning, we have our own business - me, oh and a business partner. I have to go back to do the accounts for this VAT quarter as nobody else can do it but u just don't know how to face it, the phone, business partner (65yr old man), the engineers, the deliveries - just normal life I guess but I'm scared of normal life.........don't know what to do

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 08:57

Good luck obsessed x. Morning everyone. Heading to GP now. Hope she can do something

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 09:19

I'm here - it's hideous. I think I'm going to try the docs too Ro
On a practical note does anyone know how long it will take for the doctors to get my notes from the hospital and do you think I need to cancel my 12 week scan which is supposed to be on Monday? Thx X

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 09:26

Maybe best to give them a call. Iv letter here hospital gave me for doc. Just said diagnosis delayed miscarriage, procedure surgical management.

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 09:44

Thanks - I'll do that xx