Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

cat, sorry to hear louis is struggling with colic. It's a horrible thing for them and such a worry for you. Hope things settle for you both soon and glad you are getting some support. Fwiw my dd's weight was a concern for a while as she gained slowly and i ended up at bf clinics and in a horrible feed/express routine, but now i look back and think 'i shouldn't have been so worried' It will get better, but big hugs for you as it's such a difficult thing to go through after everything else x

barking, hand holding from all of us for today

bumble, hand holding for the scan today. I feel very positive for you x

onestep, sorry af arrived but glad you are back to normal and can start afresh

claire, I'm sure i mentioned before, but i also have pre af spotting now for 2 days before, since the mcs, but i think yours sounds like it is for longer and mine is only brown sludge. I was wondering whether adhesions could cause that? Have you ever had a hysteroscopy to check for them? Might be something that your crap consultant could order for you to get checked out, as it would be mc related rather than infertility related. I could be speaking out of my arse, but it just occurred to me that maybe this could cause it. Anyone?

freckle, sorry you are feeling shit about the bfn. I fecking hate ttc and all the nonsense that goes with it as well. Maybe giving up all the extras until bfp is what will work for you. It certainly sounds more fun and that's got to count for something. Totally agree that you should ditch the acu person if they aren't very empathetic, I've been so lucky with my one and also see her as a bit of a counsellor. I would recommend her, but it's probably a bit far for you to come to Edinburgh

minnie, glad the cramping had stopped. I don't normally get any real symptoms to speak of until about 6 weeks, so i don't think a lack of symptoms is necessarily bad. When is your first scan?

Afm, nausea is back a bit this morning and temp is back up after two low days, so I've decided to stop temping now as it's stressing me out. Just did another digi this morning and it says the magic 3+ words (now 5+1), so I'm happy again until the next time I drop off the knife edge upon which we all balance.

Hey barking* - good luck today, thinking of you! And bumble*, hoping for a positive and reasurring scan for you today!

Cat, shall pm you...

Good luck Bumble and Barking. Thinking of both of you today.

Cat, dd suffered from colic and took ages for anyone to agree as bf babies apparently don't get it. It is tough but there is light of the tunnel as he will grow out of it. Although when you're sleep deprived it doesn't feel like it.

March, lovely lady STEP AWAY FROM THE TESTS! You give. Others the same advice on the past, so think it's time you listen to your own words.

Claire, although I'm not having spotting before AF my consultant has referred me for an hysteroscopy to check that the previous mcs have left scaring (particularly if you've had an eprc) and also to check there's no placenta left from dad's birth (apparently can happen) perhaps something to ask your trial time about?

Good luck for your app today barking, hope it all goes well.

That's all sounding more positive march which is all good.

Glad your cramping has stopped minnie.

Sorry little Louis has colic cat and that his weight gain is slower than the professionals would like. I'm sure he will be fine though, all babies seem to have their own pace and growth spurts at different times.

Scan is at 8.50 again so glad it's first thing!

thanks for responses ladies my af is 7 days and the brown crap starts around 7 days prior every month without fail and its pretty much like a light period but Brown.
I haven't had one of those tests March maybe I 'll push for that. it's so bloody annoying as me and sh can only dtd for 2 weeks of month as week after ovulation brown starts then af so dh steers clear!! quite frankly it's a we deserved break but you dh has mentioned we only seem to dtd now around ov

glad your feeling more positive March excellent that you have 3+ on test!!

waves to all you ladies you seem such a lovely bunch.....sorry I'm still not caught up there's so many of you!!xx

thanks girlie I will contact trial team later and ask xx

barking good luck with the appointment today - perhaps better to be straight into it the day your dh goes, rather than an even bigger build up to it. Keep us updated. Hand holding!

bumble hand holding for you too - glad its an early appointment.

march I was going to suggest you stop temping,but as a poas twice a day from 9 dpo sort of person I totally get the obsessive checking. I think if you can steer clear of temping it would be good though. Good about the increasing hcg!

cat those early days can be tough and it's OK to moan about it. Louis will get there, he really will.

Having got over potentially jinxing everything by telling my boss, I am now worrying about the fact that Prof B hasn't replied to any of my updates - including the most recent 12 week update. I have it in my head he thinks it will go wrong so is not replying. I am worrying about the wrong things here but it's really getting to me. More likely he is busy replying to those who have questions or concerns - has anyone else had a lack of reply when things are going well? (Slapping myself in the face as I write this- idiot I know)

just how are things with Scott? Still keeping you awake half the night?

loopy hope you are doing OK x

bootles I emailed updates to the profs too but only got a reply from Kerri. I imagine they're busy responding to questions etc instead like you say.

barking good luck for today

bumble hope scan is going well!

I didn't hear back from clinic yesterday so hopefully will get a date today

Thanks all for being lovely. I'm sure Louis will be fine

Good luck for today bumble and barking. Fingers crossed for you both!

Bootles I think the lack of response is because he's confident you'll be fine and now is focusing on helping another lady who may not be. Try not to worry, easy for me to say I know! xxxx

barking sending big hugs and support to you. I hope today goes well and you get a better night's sleep tonight.

bumble good luck for the scan today.

march I agree, step away from the tests and the temping. Today you are pregnant, work on that basis until conclusive evidence otherwise! Is your scan next week?

cat

bootles you haven't and won't jinx anything with telling people or e-mails but it's still hard when it makes it all more real!

Scan went well, saw the heartbeat and could make out the head. Measured bang on dates (8.5) and the bit of blood they saw last time had gone. So relieved! X

bumble great news

Yay!!! so happy for you. Hope you can relax (for about 5 minutes) ×

BumbleBee lovely news!

Barking good luck today.

Great news bumble

My sister just txt and told me about her good friend who I know fairly well, has been trying and she's found out she has blocked tubes and has been referred for IVF straightaway. I txt my sister back and told her I was sad for her, but hopefully she be successful, but also told her not to txt me anymore about it, as I need to cut myself off from worrying about other people all the time and concentrate on myself. It's what I have to do now after 4mc. A coping mechanism. I'll most probably still be standing here childless and she'll have a baby in her arms in a blink of an eye. Sorry if this sounds cold or wrong. Just really fed up.

It's ok to cut yourself off from news that might upset you onestep. You know it's not going to be for ever but whatever you need to do is fine. It's absolutely ok to put yourself first for once and not feel like you have to be worrying about everyone else. Don't give yourself a hard time about it xx

Very relieved for you bumble - glad that blood has gone! Xxx

March I'm sitting here in tears now. It's so upsetting to have to be like this. I'm not a jealous person one bit, but mc just brings out the very worst in me. I've had to send my sister couple more txt's to triple confirm that it's just my way of coping. She says it's totally fine, she gets it. I'm so angry with myself. I wasted so many of my good years with a nightmare of an exhusband. Find the most wonderful new husband who I want so much to be a father to our children my heart aches. I'm now f'ing 40 beginning of September, my Dr is absolutely useless, it's a waste of time off work going there. The time passing so quickly is just a killer. Really not coping today. The txt from my sister has set me off. Didn't know her friend was trying, she's been off the radar for a long while with my sister and now she's obviously told her what's been going on with all the tests lately.

I would love to just give up the testing, ladies, I do appreciate the advice, but I just can't do it. The last two very early mcs have broken me, and whilst I always used to advise stopping testing completely, I don't think I actually would say that to someone at the start now, as I'd much rather know it's going bad than wait for a scan. I'm definitely going to cut down to eod though. And after the scan next Friday hopefully I'll be able to stop completely. This is the basket case craziness that I warned you all about!

None of us want to be like this onestep. It changes us in so many ways, some obvious and some more subtle. You will get through this and get your baby. But you don't need to be worrying about someone else. Esp not if it's your sister's friend and not even your close friend. If she's been through the heartache of infertility then she will understand (and if she doesn't, fuck her, quite frankly!)
For a long time when my two good friends were pg as I mc'd again and again i tried to keep in my head that i was on my own journey with my own timescales and nobody else's mattered. It helped (sometimes).
It's not over til you say it's over and there's still plenty of time. You seem like someone who is massively caring and takes a world of other people's pain on your shoulders. Maybe it's time to lighten the load for a while. I know it's hard when that's the type of person you are, that you feel guilty for not being the shoulder to cry on, but you've just got to let that guilt go. You can be that person again once you are past this hard part x

Great scan news BumbleBee
March that is fab news about the pregnancy test dates, it must be reassuring to see the weeks going up.
I rang the hospital and explained that the RM appointment they have given me is the second day back at school after the summer hols and could they let me know about cancellations. The lady was so helpful and thinks they might be able to see me next week! She has got to check with the consultant but thinks it should be ok. Thank you for the advice to ring the hospital :-)

onestep for what it's worth I think you're right to protect yourself by shutting out other people's news/issues. Don't feel guilty. I think we've all probably felt similar amd have to take those steps to protect ourselves. You have been through hell and need to put yourself first. Massive hugs x