Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

Thanks for all your comments ladies. x

That's great news teach! The secretarys have all the power!!

So glad it's all fine bumble

March xxxxxxx big hugs xxx

Great news on your scan, Bumble
Bootles, hand holding. You are doing just fine. I'm sure prof B is just inundated with emails and confident that you're doing well.
March, glad test getting stronger (now step away from them!)
Scott is doing well, thanks. He's greedy, weight 8lb 7.5oz now. Finally latching on with out the nipple shield at last most of the time! He's had dreadful reflux so I have to express daily so that he can have a gaviscon bottle in the evening. The sleep deprivation is hard and there have been some very low moments. Its true, no one can tell you or prepare you. Its like having jet lag every single day, but you still have to get up and fly the plane. I haven't wanted to complain on here as this is the long awaited goal for everyone. Its wonderful, but it is full on and the lows + worry + exhaustion do get to me, and dh, too. A holiday with grandparents did us the power of good last week. But when Scott smiles at me, which has really just started last week because he was prem, all the negatives are forgotten.

Lovely to hear you and Scott are doing well just, even though motherhood is bloody hard! I think I've lulled myself into believing that it will be easier next time after all I've been through, but I suspect that's an incorrect assumption.

Great news bumble!

Good luck today barking, thinking of you.

march for crazy mentalness: last night I had a dream that I had some caterpillars that I was trying to rear into butterflies, they were a rare kind called long tailed blues. I had to find out what the caterpillar food plant was. I looked it up when I woke up and they feed on peas and beans. I decided that my dream was telling me that that's what I need for my baby to grow fully, so immediately sent OH to the supermarket. BAT SHIT MENTAL.

onestep I completely identify with everything that you've said, especially the having a crap ex husband and wasting time bit! I have also had to cut people out for the time being (both my sisters, as it happens) and it feels like shit. I am trying to focus on the present, on me and OH and our health and I figure everything else can be sorted in time. Hugs to you, it's very hard.

Well, that was a bit of a wtf experience at the clinic this morning! Just reporting in while I sit in the pharmacy waiting for my prescription (lack of dosage so they had to call the clinic, I've been here 40 minutes now...) will read back properly later as there is no mobile reception in the hospital so just typing this in notes to copy over when I get a chance!
For some unexplained reason my body seems really keen to get this show on the road and after a definite (but not positive) line on an opk this morning, and the usual appearance of pre ovulation acne, the scan showed a follicle at 17! I'm on cd15, I should be up to a week away from ovulation going by my normal pattern, but looks like I might be nearly there already.
Second surprise was my prescription. There was a bit of confusion between no aspirin and aspirin, and if so when to start taking it. Also, I had a prescription for deltaparin waiting, but I thought I was only taking it from bfp if it works. Turns out I'm injecting that from ovulation, and not taking aspirin at all. The nurse said one of the other doctors who also works at the miscarriage clinic follows this protocol, it gets the blood thinning going in time to make the womb more receptive to the embryo. Also got a new form of progesterone pessaries (can't remember what they're called but they come with an applicator?!) to start from the transfer. And an ovitrelle injection to stimulate ovulation.
Womb lining was triple lined, can't remember if she said 7mm or 9...

Just got to call at 2pm for my blood test results and find out what to do next....

bumble fantastic news! Phew! 8.5 is great.

barking so triple lining and 7-9mm is a good start from what I understand. And perhaps by trying something different with the meds your chances are maximised. Ooh an applicator, I've never seen those before with progesterone! How did your bloods come back?

march I was only thinking about you perhaps not temping - personally I have always found repeated poas helps me, and given your last two losses I can absolutely see why it's something that helps you. You're doing well.

just sounds like a bit of a rough ride but I bet you are coping admirably. It's a bit like the sickness isn't it..once pg we feel like we shouldn't complain about it, as if we somehow forfeited the right somewhere through the mc's; and I can imagine that once you get to the goal post you feel you are not supposed to complain. But looking after a little one is hard, especially with colic, reflux etc and we are all only human.

onestep you just need to get through it. If you need to stay away from some people then that's OK. It really isn't going to make any difference to your sister's friend if you get updates or not, so give yourself a break and look after you. We understand.

Thanks all on the Prof B comments. I am of course being ridiculous and he is busy e-mailing the women who are in worse places than me right now. I need to stop with this damned anxiety.

Ok just need to check something out, but is quite tmi... Stronger spotting this morning, it's still brown in colour but now there are like long, fibrous stringy bits, almost like pieces of grass. Has anyone had anything like this? Am quite scared and not sure what to do. EPU will say to monitor...

Flen, the stringy bits are old, clotting blood, so probably what ever was causing the spotting working its way out. I hope that's all it is. xx

Hope that's all it is too flen. I have nothing useful to say/do other than a virtual hand to hold.

barking yikes! That's all happened very quickly. I always think when things are different to what has happened before (when things haven't worked before) it has to be a good thing, no? Triple striped 7-9 lining sounds v positive. Fingers tightly crossed for you xxx

bootles, i think our experiences will make us worry about most things, even ones that have no bearing (i'm thinking of my magpies etc). It's so hard to not let thoughts overtake us, but i truly think it is because the prof thinks you'll be ok now.

I think this is about the fourth time I have started thus and it has been swallowed. Here goes again.
Fab news on the scan front ladies seems like the thread is on a roll.
onestep I know what that feeling is like just wanting to block it all out. When I wanted to escape I would go and visit my gay friends. Did this last summer only for them to end up showing me the pictures of the boys they were about to adopt and then for another friend to come over and announce her pregnancy. I got totally shit faced and ended up smoking again.

Now for the good news. This time last year I was also just about to turn 40. Was not pregnant. Was living in a one bed flat in London. Was struggling a bit in work. In 12 months I have moved to a house with garden in a place I love, turned things around in work, got through turnING 40 and have a beautiful baby daughter. No guarantees, but a lot can change in a year.

Belle really pleased it world out for you. Thank you for post in your story. It really does help putting guy own situation in to some kind of context.

I too have a LOT to be thankful for. Similar situation, I have turned my life around since leaving London, getting divorced and remarrying a wonderful man and now about to move in to a beautiful house. Just one thing missing and it a very big thing for me. Just crumble to pieces at times thinking about it.

Thanks for all your support. x

God know whats going on with my keyboard!! apologies for all the spelling mistakes!!!

Bumble great news!

girlie I'm loving the comedy predictive text I'm assuming of course that you didn't give birth to your father

March glad the signs are good, remember that 'bad' signs don't necessarily mean bad things though. A temp dip might just indicate a difference in your sleep that night, and not all tests are the same level of sensitivity just prempting the next hit of anxiety .
I definitely feel positive that they are doing things differently this time - fragmin injections from ovulation might be just what I need to get it to stick trying to ignore what I've been told about those injections being worse than the others I've done before

bootles step away from the email, a consultant too busy to respond to every email from every woman (all of them anxious given they have reason to be emailing him) means nothing. With your logical head on you know this yourself!

Great news about the earlier appointment teach, always worth asking!

onestep don't be so hard on yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking steps to protect your mental health! I've got to the stage where I don't give a shit about anyone else regarding what they feel about my actions, I am not going to willingly put myself in a position that I know will upset me. Why would anyone do that?

Peas and beans you say, Flen?

The progesterone is Utrogestan, 200mg 3x a day. It's new to the clinic, not sure why they switched yet another question I should have asked at the time but didn't think about until later

Bloods came back showing I was almost there but not quite, got to go back again for more bloods tomorrow, I'll know more when I get those back tomorrow afternoon.

Sounds like a positive appointment barking Great that everything is nearly in place to start and that you have some fancy drugs this time. Bit jealous of your progesterone with an applicator, oooooh! I could really do with one as I never seem to get it in enough!

flen sounds like it's the last of the bleed you had working its way out. Could it also be a bit of ewcm or progesterone goo mixed in too??

march can't remember if I said, great news on the digi!

Just trying to catch up!

barking you're appointment sounds so positive. New things have got to be a good sign. Could it be all systems go tomorrow then?!

flen sounds like the old blood on its way out mixing with other stuff. I'm sure nothing to worry about I know I know! I bled brown with ds and all was fine. Hope it's stopped now too.

march good news that the hcg is where it should be. I've just bought two digi tests to take on hols with me in case I start bleeding. Thought it would help me know what's going on. God I just want to get to my scan but it's not until August 6th!

belle thanks for the reminder of how things can change in only a year. It sometimes seems a never ending journey. Good to hear the positives.

onestep it's totally reasonable to step away from the things that upset you whenever you need to. And as it's not even one of your friends then even more reason not to get stressed over it. Your sister sounds like she completely understands. And I sympathise with the feeling of wasting your best years with your ex. I was with my ex-h for ten years and can't help thinking if we had never got married I wouldn't have this time pressure now. Huge hugs lovely xx

bootles could prof B just have not seen your email maybe? He must get a lot every day. Definitely no reflection on how he feels about your chances I'm sure but so easy to read into everything when all we're doing is worrying anyway!

just sorry to hear about Scotts colic and reflux. The first few weeks are so so hard and just because the babies are so desperately wanted doesn't mean that it isn't. Ds cried continuously for the first few weeks (or it felt like it!) we even took him to a cranial osteopath to fiddle with his head as someone said he might have had a problem from the forceps! Totally woowoo and not my normal comfort zone but we were so desperate we'd try anything once (and that was definitely once only!) As he was a rainbow baby too it felt wrong to complain about it. It does get easier when they start to smile though!

belle thank you for your lovely post - we can all do with a bit of hope!

Oh God so just now Prof B has responded to my e-mail re the 12 week scan and Harmony results, saying sorry for the slow response, great news, and good luck. Which is reassuring. BUT What if he reads mumsnet???? (Surely he's far too busy ?) And thought oh God I'd better respond to that woman who's being bonkers...though my name couldn't be linked... Argh I am annoying myself. Sorry.

bootles he responded to mine a few hours ago too! But didn't respond to my email a couple of weeks ago, so maybe he has been reading! he he!

Haha! How funny. Well at least he's got back to you now

Great news bumble!!!

Barking sounds like a very positive appointment. You're doing great. I think the progesterone you're on is crinone. It's pretty pokey stuff from my experience so you may feel a tad hormonal and it can 'build up' so you might want to clean yourself out every now and again. Sorry if that's TMI but I wish someone had told me that before I had it

Hugs to you onestep, this journey is tough and other pregnancies are so hard to deal with. I bet we all thought we'd meet the right man, marry and have a baby real quick. If only life could be like that! Stories like Belle and others here reminds us how things can and do turn around when it looks bad so hang in there and to you.

Belle I used to drink wine and smoke too. Actually wouldn't mind doing that again now haha!

cat there's no mention of crinone in the box or info sheet, just the brand name Utrogestan. They are small capsules in a blister pack, way less than half the size of a cyclogest pessary.

I'm mostly lurking but...

Based on my brief chat about mumsnet during my appt with Prof B I am 90% confident he reads the thread. I was slightly high on g&a at the time so can't remember the details but def came away with that impression.

Waves at Prof B.