Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

glad app went well March, and pleased you have scan next week at least it's not too long to wait xx

Hi girls. Just wanted to say a massive congratulations to the 'good scan' ladies. This thread is going great guns at the moment, really really positive and uplifting to read.

Barking I had a little cry at your posts re. the embies. You are such a beautiful person, it's so obvious in your posts and you are so kind to everyone on here. I want you to get your rainbow and I just wish all of our hopes for you could make it happen. It goes without saying that I have everything crossed for you and I have certainly read stories of embryos that looked less than perfect going the distance, so you have reason to be hopeful I promise.

Things are ok here. I have still been getting symptoms so I am slightly calmer (only slightly). Still expecting to see blood every time I wee (don't think I'll ever assume otherwise). Should be 12 weeks today, scan on Wednesday. Expecting the worst and just praying I'm going to be gobsmacked.

Excuse the overly emotional post ahead...I've had a nice glass of bourbon and cola :)

Just wanted to say thank you all for your support the past few weeks and especially for my first week back in the real world. Venting here has taken pressure off my.marriage and most probably stopped me from completely breaking down at work.
to all you lovely ladies.

So glad its Friday. Trying to chill for the weekend and just remember to take one day at a time.

Barking**, how are you? What will happen tomorrow? Is it pos or blood test? You ate never far from my mi.d right now xxx

Seen a lovely Facebook posting from Mark Zuckerberg this evening. His wife Priscilla is pregnant with their first child and in his announcement he revealed they'd suffered 3 miscarriages .

He talked about how the felt and how hard it's been. It really touched me (just goes to show all the money in the world can't prevent heartache) and before I knew it I was sharing it and declaring I'd also had 3 miscarriages and that he'd written beautiful words and I couldn't put it better myself.

Whilst I've mentioned mc's I've never really stated quite so publicly that I've had 3 miscarriages - but it really touched me

Sorry for late update, scan this morning then dashed off for long weekend camping....! Madness.
All well at scan, doctor was really kind and took time to explain all the good things she saw which really helped (more reassuring than a quick 'all looks fine'). Doubt that I'll stop worrying yet but immediate panic at reduced sickness is hopefully passing.
Lots of love to all x

Glad the appointment went well March and the scan MrsC.

So today I watched Marley and Me with Dd as thought she would love the dog. Completely forgot Jennifer Aniston's character has an missed mc. Completely took my breath away and led to lots of questions from DD what was wrong with the lady and was it the same as when mummy's tummy wasn't well.

Had to explain yes it was but mummy was ok, to which DD started asking again for mummy to have a baby.

Don't know how I didn't cry but has left me really shaken ????

Oh no Girlie..hope you're OK.

Thanks for posting that Sasha. Hats off to Mark Zuckerberg for opening up publicly.

Girly** i avoid that film for the sake of my own emotions, but i'm glad when it appears in films too (so long as it's dealt with accurately and not sensationalised) because it does make others think about it. 'The Time Travellers Wife' (novel) has her loosing baby after baby. It is an odd circumstance, but i found it emotionally very truthfull.

I'm fine now I've had a vodka & diet coke to chill me (impressed didn't reach straight for the wine to save calories) As everyone says you think you're doing fine and then I expectantly you get a reminder.

Saha, thanks for posting the article, very comforting in someways x

Oh god girlie, even without the m/c Marley and Me is a tearjerker, just thinking about the car scene has got me welling up! You did better than I would have!

Girlie xx

I watched One Born Every minute on Wednesday and an 18 yr old was giving birth at 28 weeks after she had PROM at 18 weeks and she'd been on bed rest since then.

Her baby boy lived for 4 days. She was so brave at only 18

I sobbed and sobbed

flower understand your feelings about the result. Hope you get booked in for ivf asap x

bythesea and allmy, my post is even worse in the cold light of day. Glad you weren't offended (by the sea your hormones are defo all over the shop!). Argh to rushed late night posting and the errors that then occur...

brummie I love your parents for that

march hooray for meds, and a straight talking consultant - good that another scan is booked x

girlie hugs for the tricky conversation with your DD x

mrsc good news! Brilliant!

brummie oh no, that programme at least usually has a happy ending. How horribly sad.

Good evening ladies

Great to catch up on what's been happening.

Massive congratulations Kazz on the BFP. That's so great. It's such a wonderful tingling Christmas Day feeling when it appears. I also loved the post from someone who wrote that every pregnancy is different, different sperm, different egg, different womb lining etc (sorry I can't find who wrote it) but that really gives me hope and I have never thought of it that way.

Great advice from someone yesterday that they usually wait 6 weeks for blood tests after a mc anyway. That does make me feel better so I am only a month late on the tests and not 3 months like I thought.

Currently feeling really teary again as DH has said tonight he thinks we shouldn't try this month and we should wait until we get the chromosome tests back. It's so interesting reading everyone's opinions on this these last couple of days. He thinks we shouldn't try as its really selfish knowing we could potentially be bringing a disabled child into the world and additionally we could potentially know if we might miscarry again so we could prevent the next trauma. My opinion is the majority of miscarriages are caused by abnormalities so we are no different and if we hadn't have had a surgically managed procedure then we would never of had all this info anyway hence we should keep trying.

My heart wants to be pregnant so much maybe I can't see if the rational side.

Anyway ladies, have a wonderful weekend that's filled with smiles
Xxx

Brummie would you believe that the young girl you mentioned on OBEM was a poster on Mumsnet and was getting advice on a thread on here until MumsnetHQ pulled the thread saying she was a troll. She then got criticised for lying until that episode was aired and everyone realised she was telling the truth and Ollie had sadly died. Really really dreadful state of affairs

Morning all

Woke up this morning to read the Mark Zuckerberg news. Whilst I am not his greatest fan, I am pleased that he made the decision to talk about his m/c experience. However, I am ashamed to say that I didn't feel confident enough to 'like' the post on Facebook (Well done, brummie you are a better woman than I). I just don't feel ready to go public about it on Facebook - although lots of our friends know about our struggles and are very supportive, there are some 'acquaintances' on Facebook that I'd prefer didn't know... yet. And the ridiculous thing is that it is for exactly the same reason Zuckerberg didn't go public until now - now that he is safely over the other side - because I feel that it makes me seem in some way broken or deficient. I know that's not the case - really I do - and I wish I could be braver, because that would be of real support for others out there. I am cross with myself for this. Maybe one day...

In the spirit of being brave, I want to tell you all that I am 5+2 pregnant today. Today was the day I started bleeding on my third miscarriage, so I'm sorry for not telling you guys earlier. Today is a bit of a milestone for me. I hope you understand.

I'm in total limbo in terms of treatment - awaiting an appointment (not even been given a date) at St Mary's Manchester. I have told my GP about the pregnancy, who took hCG and said there was nothing further to do other than wait. He said there is still a good (60%) chance of it being successful. I am trying not to think about the 40%! Instead I am focusing upon a good, strong hCG level, which the doctor says is positive because it indicates that (a) the pregnancy is doing OK so far and (b) my body is capable of creating a good environment for pregnancy, so should this one go wrong at least I know that I have a good chance of responding to treatment further down the line. Even now, I am terrified of jinxing it even by mentioning it on a thread - but I didn't mention my previous two online, so I guess there is no logic in that. I am trying to keep busy and stay positive - trying the Bhuddify app for meditation, as well as Fertile Me Guided Meditation for Early Pregnancy. Also praying a lot and bought myself a St Gerard medal and Chaplet from Etsy. Goodness me, I sound like a right nutcase!

home I know how you feel. After my second miscarriage, I had a virus and was told not to try for a cycle or two. It made me feel so helpless - 'trying' feels like the only area of all of this over which we have some vague control. I am thinking of you. Big love.

Great news on the scan Mrs C - I am so pleased.

Barking you are especially in my prayers and I am rooting for every little cell of that embryo.

everybody else I am sorry not to post individual comments, but I wish you all a weekend of positive thoughts and hopeful vibes. I can't watch films like Up and Marley and Me at the moment, or OBEM - so many of you are much stronger than me. This strength will get us through. :)

mrsC great scan news.enjoy your camping trip! Mine brought about some interesting peeing in the night situations seen as I need to go about 3 times a night!

girlie sounds like you dealt with DD and Marley and me really well. I'd have hit the bottle straight after. Prob with a straw.

I'm not brave enough to come out on fb about our mcs but most people know about them as are friends are a chatty and supportive bunch its turning out. Even ones we have told have brought them up lately which is nice is an odd way because they are acknowledging our babies.

I couldn't watch the end of obem after seeing that girl but I have been wondering what happened so thanks brummie now I won't be tempted to try and catch up with it now. Bless her and bloody trolls.

Big wave to everyone else. Thinking of you barking

Oh God I don't mean bless the trolls... They can burn in Hell...

Many many congratulations oneday. You are so much stronger than you think. Best of luck with it x

Great scan news mrsc

home, fwiw, i was told not to wait for results for karyotyping on me and dh, as it was quite rare to find problems, and unless we were going with ivf with embryo selection it wouldn't make any difference to what happened next time. I agree that it's good to have the knowledge of whether you might have a future chance of passing on a problem but i think the main question to think about when you decide whether to wait is would it stop you from ttc if there was a problem? If it wouldn't, then there's no reason to not try apart from perhaps the genetic counselling that you would receive if a problem is found. Again, this wouldn't change the outcome but would just make you more aware of the chances of a problem. It's such a complex one, as there may be other reasons why your dh is not ready to try again yet. Good luck with whatever you decide

barking, thinking of you lovely x

OneDay lovely news! Xx

Home DH and I decided not to wait whilst waiting for the Karotyping results. It's such a lottery all this.

Sebs that's awful to hear about that young girl and what happened..

Oh gosh I'm back and trying to catch up with the thread which is bloody impossible it moves so quickly! Anyway I've read back a few pages so here goes.

oneday congrats on the bfp. I know exactly how you feel about everything feeling like it will jinx it. Just remember tyap (today you are pregnant) have to keep reminding myself of that!

kazz yay for your bfp too! No useful insights on getting through the early days- I'm finding it very hard though being away has helped.

barking have been thinking of you loads. When does the next stage/bit happen? Do you test soon? You are so amazingly strong and I'm glad you've had people in rl stepping up for you. We're all definitely willing it on on here. Huge hugs xx

Welcome to all the newbies home allmy and anyone else I've missed (sorry!) So sorry you have to be here but as you'll already know this thread is a true lifesaver when you feel at your most down.

girlie hugs for the hard convo with your dd. I can't bring myself to watch it at the best of times (far too soft about animals!) but didn't realise it had MC in too. Glad the vodka helped!

brummie that obem was so sad and they were so brave to talk about it afterwards. And 13+4! Second trimester lady! So happy for you (and your lovely mum and dad)

mrsc great news on the scan!

march really happy your appointment went well and your consultant is being supportive. It helps to have someone on your side.

Afm, I'm 6 weeks today and have been feeling a bit sick for the last few days which I hope is a good sign- though the high dose folic acid was making me feel sick in previous months so not really banking on it. Haven't had my usual 5 week bleeding but I know the prog could be just putting that off. Have got my scan on thurs and am convinced it will show nothing at all or no heartbeat. Scan news has been so fab recently that I'm convinced I'll break the run of good luck. Last time as soon as I knew 4 people who were pregnant, I started worrying i'd be the 1 in 4 and obviously was proved right so just can't feel positive. And as MC 3 didn't happen till almost 12 weeks I won't relax anyway! Urgh I wish I could just fast forward to thurs and get it out of the way!

Oneday, whispers congrats. You're not a nutcase, just someone who has been on a journey and hopefully will get their happy ending this time x

Barking, the quote - how spooky. I was actually going to post a different quote but when I Googled it to find out who said it, the Mary Anne Radmacher (?) one jumped out instead. Wonder if subconsciously I remembered you'd posted it before.

Hope you had a better night's sleep.