Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

Glad you got on ok at work mrsb. Assistant Manager sounds like a tit.

kazz, 5.5 weeks seems very early for big group announcements, but having said that, I'm quite torn, as i really strongly feel we ought to change this mentality of having to keep it secret at what, for many, is a very difficult time when women need support for all sorts of reasons, including previous mc. I don't for a second advocate telling people in order to boast/gloat though, and i think in this circumstance it was particularly thoughtless to tell a group that included someone with rmc.
I've told my sister and a few close friends but there won't be any group announcement until if and when it's here.

Thanks little, that does put my mind at rest that my explanation is a reasonable one! Will definitely mention it to gp next week i think. Did you stop using it back end?

Kazz** what is with people announcing at 5 weeks?? Ffs!!! They've barely dismounted from each other!!! Even with ds i didn't even tell my family until 12 weeks! A woman i work with tells everyone the moment she's pos. Might as well pin it up in the bloody staff room, and i am positive it's just so she gets a special dispensation for everything (and she is a shocking slacker as it is, the amount of time she takes off would make most normal teachers blush.) She gave up working at 20 weeks - whether she turns in for work or not! I hate it, not my style at all.

bootles - great scan news!

barking - we will all be here with you when you test hun.

march - I had a couple of back end bleeds when I was on the progesterone. It's really scary isn't it. It hasn't happened since I stopped the prog though.

Hugs to all. x

I know what you mean March. I do totally agree with the whole keeping it quiet thing being bad in some ways but I personally would only tell my absolute closest friends and family and not announce it on a group of 10 girls some of whom aren't that close to her. I told them after my 1st mc (and later mcs) because I was criticised for 'being boring and newly married and not wanting to go out'. I wanted them to know what I was going through so they didn't put their foot in it... but I clearly didn't account for their lack of consideration 3mcs down the line.

The sad thing is I don't want to see her atm. I can't handle all the 'excited' talk. So I'm going to have to avoid group situations again from a self preservation point of view.

Sorry Bootles. I missed your good scam news! yaaaayyyy!!!

Biscuits that must've been very scary and traumatic giving birth at home that fast. I know 2 people who had fast births and had a second, fast too but all ok. Just whats cognitive hypnotherapy? I do think there's something in body protecting from further trauma too though, it's an interesting point. My DS birth was very traumatic maybe that's why I've had 3mc?

Bootles huge congrats on your scan today!

Forest your hospital sounds like mine for getting app booked, good that she's going to provide progesterone though, could be the difference for you.

Barking glad you've got some local support now. PM you re the book but thread moved so fast think I've missed it!

Brummiemum fab news on your scan too!

MrsB glad your first day back went ok and you've got a colleague to talk too. Sorry your assistant manager was an arse.

Kazz sorry to hear about your insensitive friend and her what's app message, as someone said earlier once they're in the pg bubble it's like they seem to forget about anyone else and what they've been through. Grrr. And good idea to avoid! Don't do what I did fri night and go out with them thinking it's ok now and can handle it and then feel deeply upset all next day. AVOID!

Anyone out there up for a southern meet up at Bluewater on 4th October?

Yay to bootles and brummiesmum for good scans, and for flen that bleeding seems to be fading. Hope the sickness is manageable and not long now until next scan.

barking we'll all be with you Friday night and Saturday morning - imagine a huge mega king sized bed with lots of lovely ladies in PJs chatting and drinking hot chocolate... Unless you'd rather we stayed downstairs!

brummie wow so amazing you're coming off prog, must seem like forever for you but it's zipped past. Milestone!

Waves to everyone else, it's just taken me ages to read through as I've been offline this weekend (family stuff ). Sending hugs to you all, especially the newbies. You'll be well looked after here.

I'm having a panic as my sickness seems to have ramped right down, no retching over a sink since Wednesday and I'm just hitting 9 weeks which is a crucial point I think for placenta to take over? Based on 2 previous pregnancies (one to term, one mc at 13 weeks) it's too early to stop feeling grim so I'm utterly freaking out. It's been a pretty stressful week so (totally clutching at straws...) does anyone know if adrenaline or cortisol mask nausea? My next scan is August 7th so a very long way away from now.

Glad to hear Bootles & Brummiemum had good scans.

Thanks for the book Barking and glad to hear you swallowed your pride and have some local support, of curse backed up by Us x

Just woke up from a dream in which I was heavily pg. Never had one like that before. I was past my due date and being induced (but I was in a field somewhere random because I never manage a normal dream). Really weird.

girlie can you pm your address for the book? Nothing has come through?

MrsC sorry it's been a tough week, handing holding until you get your scan .

Going to attempt a catch up...

barking so hoping that dream is a sign! I do think they sometimes are trying to tell us something! Hope the field but doesn't come true though! glad you've got someone with you over the weekend now. And you know we'll all be here updating fri night/sat morning ready to support you as best we can.

mrsC I've had a few panics about fading nausea too! I definitely think it can be masked by adrenaline/anxiety/stress etc. As I've started worrying closer to scans mine has gone and taken over by my stomach flipping instead, only to come back after the scan, or if I can calm myself beforehand. I think the steroids might have masked it for me in that they've made me really hungry so the constant eating reduces the nausea. Sorry you've had a tough week with family. X

emerald, Sasha and Kazz sorry you're having to deal with insensitive sister/friends. Avoid avoid avoid them! Maybe send a message telling them why their actions/words are painful for you, if they have enough brain cells and are a good friend they should understand, if not, ditch them for a while. I think most people at some point will say something insensitive (whilst meaning well or just not realising it hurts) but sometimes they just need telling. kazz you can 'leave' a whatsapp group, maybe when she sees that she'll take a hint.

bootles and brummiesmum great news on your scans

march my heart stopped for a second when I read about your bleeding, until I realised it was from the back door . Glad thats what it is ifyswim but hope it clears up soon.

flen glad your spotting seems to have stopped.

freckle hope you get your BFP this month, I feel its just roubd the corner for you!

A big warm welcome to newbies. My heart always sinks when I read of people joining us and reading of their losses, but it is the best place to be and I know you'll all get some much needed support from here.

Interesting reading about people's traumatic birth stories, it does make you think...! I'm lucky mine was ok, I think we were close to forceps though, I had the monitors on and the consultant overseeing and remember her saying 'baby needs to come out now which I took as saying 'or we'll have to get him out!'

I think hypnotherapy sounds like a good idea to those that had traumatic experiences. If something equally physically traumatic happened you'd probably need counselling or something. But with a baby you're expected to be a happy new mother and just forget it all...

Morning!
Sorry you're worried mrsc**, i would be the same way about sickness. I think cortisol raises eostrogen (sp?) and surpresses progesterone, but i think that would be controlled with the sup's. It could just be a natural waxing and waining? I was sick for 30 weeks with ds but within that time i did have some days where it never happened. I appreciate though that when they say 'every pg is different' and 'lack of symptoms are not indicative to mc' it is no comfort to us. Xxx

bootles really glad for your scan, that's brilliant.

barking well done for getting the support of the not so close friends, that sounds like an important thing to have done. And as the others have said, we will all be here Friday night. Dream sounds positive, even if only on a level where your unconscious is allowing the concept that you could be pregnant, that's progress!

sasha my sister is the middle one of three of us, I'm the oldest. Have you had any communication with yours since the other day?

mrsc symptom ebbing and flowing is such a nightmare isn't it? How come it's so long til your next scan?

Re: progesterone, I took it two months from 7dpo and no BFP, then the next month waited to test before taking and got BFP. Only anecdotal obviously...

Emerald, in cognitive hypnotherapy, you are helped to unpick the emotional memory from the memory of the event so that you no longer well up, as it were, when talking about it. You also reevaluate formative experiences to see events with more mature insight (basically with the benefit of hindsight), so that you can let go of the fear and confusion which you think will lead future, similar events to follow the same path. This can be recent trauma, or something from your childhood. The idea is that you reprogramme your emotional memory so that it has less of a negative impact on your future reactions to events. I believe that it helped me with issues such as seeing pg women and going for scans etc. (still don't like seeing a scan picture on fb, though ). It also helped me to accept that the past doesn't dictate the future (the mantra "this time is different" was embedded in my subconscious), and begin to trust and like my body again, and have some faith in its ability to do its job (supported by the Coventry protocol ).

Re, dreams: around the time just before AF, I used to dream about my cat who was killed on the road after mc#2. Machiavelli would appear and seem so vivid to me. Then one month, he brought me a baby bird. Then I got pg, and I haven't dreamt of him since (although, I haven't had another AF since, either). There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our psychology.... I don't pretend to understand how the subconscious works, but it is fascinating.

Hi girls
I'm having ERCP today and they will send it for genetic abnormalities. Wish me luck please. So anxious having to go through this again and again.

Good luck, Lost. I hope you aren't kept waiting, and it goes smoothly. xx

I hope it goes ok today lost and that you have someone looking after you. Xx

Thanks onemoretime & Marchgirl
I think waiting is the only thing I can not avoid

Lost** thinking of you today and hand holding. Xxx

Barking** i totally agree with just and flen about your dream. Whereas i do not believe in universal dream 'meanings' i do think we create our own imagry and meaning, but surly you would associate a field with fertile ground, and being 'wide open'? I think it's a teally positive sign that your mind and body are ready. I rember dreaming i was a field, in my late teens! Part of how i always know when i'm at ovulation time is that i dream of the boy i was in-love with when i was 17. If he is in my dream then my body wants to procreate!!!!

Hope today is over quickly for you Lost and you can start to recover.

Thanks for the support re: the baby bomb freckle bumble March and others! it's a double edged knife. if I remove myself from the group I'll miss out on a lot of stuff as two (close) friends are planning their wedding on there so I dont really want to but if necessary I will explain that I have no choice for the purpose of self preservation and leave.

BFN today. 13dpo based on my first (very early @cd11 ) but only 9dpo based on my 2nd. Trying to stay hopeful bur every time I poas and get nothing my hope disappears to the point I just want to give up. The only thing we had going for us last year was that we conceived really easily. it's now been 8 months since I was last pregnant and I'm seriously fed up!

Freckle I know what you mean re: work colleagues. we had one who had 2 days off every week the second she became pregnant. The poor kids actually approached the head to complain about the impact in their gcses! Rightly so too!!!!

Btw, barking* and kazz* what subjects do you teach? Barking, i totally imagine you as sport or maths, kazz i totally imagine you as r.e or history!

Ha! Science! Best thing ever having to go back to work post mc and teach about reproduction and cause if complications. 'Miss, what's a miscarriage and why do people have them'????

Freckle, I teach RE, philosophy and ethics.