Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

Mrsb good you're able to connect again, I found it emotional too first time after, not sure why that is but it just feels odd somehow. I hope you get your results soon and they can give you some answers. Key dates are always very tough, and hard reminders of what could've been. Take it easy and be kind to yourself.

Barking Forgot about your Dad, think I missed something but what's wrong with him? Sorry your mum is not really there when you need her. I've never liked Christmas! Good you have plans MrsB already where you can be yourself.

Bootles missed scan too, thinking of you.

Lost hi, so very sad and sorry to hear your story, what a terrible hard time you've had. Glad you found us and hope we can give some support and help at this very hard time. Sending you a big hug x

Ooh Thanx Emerald72 for the hug.

Quick check in as spent most of my day feeling sorry for myself after too much wine last night and then spent the evening running around trying to get ready for the week ahead, including getting back into the healthy Eating/ exercising plan.

Sasha, sorry to hear your sister isn't being sympathetic. It's horrendous when it's your own family but hope the ladies on here have helped.

Welcome lost and I think another new Lady today. Hope we can provide some support/ thread/ giggle as required.

Barking, you really a strong lady x

Bootles, good luck tomorrow. Glad to hear Mw said 40+ was young!

Right off to finish the ironing....

Remember the other new lady was Forest- welcome x

Lost your words 'paralysed' and 'mentally blocked' are words I feel and I'm sure many of the ladies here can identify with. I feel like I'm trapped at times too, just want to scream, but don't know what to scream. It's very painful. We fight so hard all the time it's mentally and physically exhausting. Give yourself some time to heal, get back on your feet, and come back fighting. The ladies here are very very knowledgeable and you will find help and strength here. Big hugs to you.

Also Forest big hugs and welcome too.

lost that's an appalling lack of care .
Would it be worth speaking to your gp now, preemptively? I would point out the consequences of your experiences on your quality of life and mental health and explain that something needs to be put into place and agreed now so that your next pg is not more stressful than it needs to be. I would ask for regular scans to be agreed and clexane to be prescribed by the gp when needed, so you just have to go in and ask for it rather than them then turning round and saying you'd have to wait to see a consultant etc.
Are you going to get a follow up appointment with a consultant anyway if the last one was an assisted conception?
This kind of shit makes me very . Someone in your situation should be supported, not left to fight when you're at your most emotional and shouldn't be wasting your energy arguing for things that should be provided.
Yes, Coventry does nk cells, as does Thornbury in Sheffield. If you look at the top of the thread there's a link to a spreadsheet with lots of information that might be useful .

Girlie My healthy diet went right out of the window today. Never go to the supermarket hungry. I really should know better..... Bought loads of fruit and veg but have eaten none of it today....

emerald my dad has multiple systems atrophy. It's like parkinsons but attacks more of the body. He was very restricted in movement, bent double and needed a wheelchair to leave the house. Very little strength or fine motor skills. Speech slurred and difficult to understand. 8 weeks ago he fell in the shower and broke his hip. He's still in hospital having then had aspiration problems, chest infection, c Difficile, and the latest is that they've discovered he also fractured his back in the fall (which is why he was getting chest pain) and has inflamed kidneys. He can't leave hospital until it doesn't take two people to move him from chair to bed etc. He showed me yesterday his attempts to stand up. He's a very long way off .

Barking sorry to hear about your Dad, I must've missed you saying all that before but knew he was in hospital. Poor guy that's a lot going on with him too, and guessing he's not that old. I hope he can get better soon and be able to go home at least and stand up himself. It's hard to see your Dad who's like the strong man in your life looking ill and weak.

You are dead right about the lack of care that should be there in lost and lots of other people's lives. It's bloody annoying that we have to research and ask and find out everything ourselves when these professionals and gps should be telling us, helping us and offering it to us

Onestep have pm you re southern meet up

barking totally agree.

I too have missed your posts about your dad. I'm sorry but in lost for words for what he has and is going through. Sending love and strength you and your dad's way. Xx

Hello Ladies,

I've gone back to lurking a bit rather than posting as I'm currently 2WW & going loopy/trying to resist being all me,me,me...

So I think I'm about 10 DPO & have had tiny amount of brown then pinkish fresh blood. Implantation bleed?! Or messed up luteal phase spotting... Wasn't planning on testing till 13DPO but now in a panic wondering whether to start progesterone or not? My protocol (borderline high blood NK activity) is from BFP but had toyed with the idea of sometime before 7-14DPO Coventry stylee as my history seems potentially hyperfertile although no know chromosomal abnormalities before. But what if it is implantation but also my progesterone is low - do I start now before testing?! Or will I then superselect my lining. Argh - over thinking - what would you do? To shove a suppository up or not?

To join the conspiracy theorists - my first pregnancy was an undiagnosed OP (back to back) too - they didn't twig from the VEs but she really wasn't shifting with the birth unit pushing & so round in theatre as hoiked down with forceps the reg realised..!

Barking and Emerald72
You're right, there should be some support. The midwives sometimes are good but some of them don't know how to deal with cases like these. you feel devastated and want to run away from the whole world but again it would be lovely to have someone to tell you that this may not be the end of the world.
I agree that we shouldn't be begging for basic things but if the system fails you, that makes you furious and makes your sadness and frustration loads heavier.
Really thankful for your support

Re: traumatic births, my DS2 was born 25 minutes after the first contraction, at home. People always say how lucky I am but it was traumatic, neither midwife or ambulance could get there in time for the birth and I honestly thought we were both going to die, it was so scary and hugely intense, from nothing to contractions every couple of minutes within 15 minutes. This thread has made me wonder if my body is subconsciously rejecting ever doing it again - every time I've been pregnant since, as well as fearing miscarriage, I've had an equal fear of giving birth on a pavement. Interesting.

Biscuits, I think there's something in the idea that your body/mind don't (doesn't?) want to put you through trauma again... I'd heard about this via a book on evolutionary biology years ago and also in the context of RMC. I don't know about the science or the psychology, but I do know that I had cognitive hypnotherapy and then I had Scott. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

just/biscuits There's a book called The Mind Body Fertility Connection that suggests just that. This is why I went for hypnotherapy before the last ivf round (and it came out that my possible 'subconscious mental blocks' are more about my mother than mc, but there you go...)
If anyone is interested pm me your address and I'll post it, I've read it all cover to cover and am happy to pass it on!

Ooh Barking, if it's not taken please can I take the book. Certainly think there's a connection in my case. I'll PM you x

Ooh Barking, if it's not taken please can I take the book. Certainly think there's a connection in my case. I'll PM you x

Thanks Barking, I've read it and passed it on, to Flen, as I recall.

Correct just! Still dipping in and out of it, useful stuff I'm finding...

barking just massive hugs for you, such a difficult situation but if you do decide to stay at home, you know you will have a circle of thread right here for you.

Welcome newbies, and sorry to hear your stories. I hope you find this thread supportive.

sasha my sister has been almost exactly the same as your describe your sister being, sort of a disbelief and disgust that I might have any other feelings than happiness for her. Our due dates were five days apart. We live in different parts of the country which is a semi-blessing, and means we don't have to see each other. I have been shocked and hurt by her behaviour and despite her knowing I'm pregnant again I have had no contact from her at all, not even a text (this was also true through the whole of my rmc testing and post mc3). I think some of the others are right, it's almost like I became unlucky to her. I do also think that if someone has no experience of it, they simply can't get it (and my sister is totally not in any way emotionally intelligent at the best of times!) if you need to rant/process more, I have very understanding ears on this particular topic!

Just a quick update from me, bleeding gradually faded over yesterday and still seems to be gone this morning and although it has been coming and going for the last two weeks, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it has buggered off for good now.

bootles, good luck for the scan today lovely

mrsb, good luck for your first day back at work. Hope it goes ok. Fwiw i cried the first time we dtd after mc3. It didn't go down too well but i couldn't help it. I think it's just one of those things that really brings it back when you start again.

barking, big hugs once again. You continue to amaze me with your strength through incredibly difficult circumstances. It's more than anyone should have to bear. You will make a kick ass strong mum when it happens x

morgan, sounds promising. If you have any concerns about progesterone levels then i would take it asap.

flen, so relieved to hear the spotting has finally stopped. Did the prof get back to you about the heparin? And are you still taking it?

lost, welcome and a massive hug. Sounds like you've gone through a tremendous amount and that you haven't had the support you might hope for. Is that 5MCs then and they still aren't offering you anything? Perhaps a visit to Coventry would be worth it, if only to feel like you are under the care of someone who actually wants to help you.

Afm, more rectal bleeding yesterday which scared me again. Think I'm fairly sure it is my piles now, probably irritated by the prog, but i just wish it would bugger off. I've got a gp appointment next week so if it's still going by then I'll see if she can do anything to help.

march no, haven't heard back from him. I didn't take it for two days then started taking it again yesterday as the bleeding faded. Keeping all my fingers crossed that this won't have had a bad effect... Glad you have a GP appointment next week, hope it does bugger off before that.

Barking* and just* you have completly blown my mind, i have to read that book. I am going on amazon right now. I strongly feel i may be a case of mind over matter. I was so frightened of birth with ds that i had hypnotherapy leading up to due date. When it got to four days in early labour i really felt that it wasn't just a matter of back to back being the problem and i remember saying to the consultant when discussing induction that i needed something more powerful, like the drugs, to over ride my own mind. I was still so frightened of the birth that it was like i was controlling it progressing myself. I needed that option taking away from me but i needed it to feel safe and not scary. Which was why my eventual birth ended up being a trillion times more suited to me than my actual birth plan - induced with epidural at the same time! I think that book might be a bit of a missing link for me...

Freckle, it is really interesting, isn't it. I believe I have 'organic' physiological issues with forming and maintaining placentas, but I also believe that, the more MCs I had, the longer it took to conceive, and I attribute that, in part at least, to mind/body issues. I don't think its a coincidence that twice (#3 and 4) pgs were conceived after booking investigations for infertility/lining issues, and #4 after cognitive hypnotherapy...

Gosh so many things to say but no time now. I will catch up properly later.

Just quickly wanted to say all is well at sneaky 14 wk scan today.

So the cervix issue: if anyone is worried as they have had several erpc's, don't be. Dr said it's only an issue if a person has had several 2nd trimester erpc's/tfmr's. As I only had 1 at 13 weeks then 2 early ones she wasn't concerned. Advised me to keep the appointment for reassurance to myself, but they would likely quickly check my cervix and discharge me.

Waves to all, proper catch up later xx