Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[BumbleBee0]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

sun some people just don't know how to behave. I would perhaps not waste energy getting into a back and forth with him. Maybe just acknowledge his input but make it clear you have made active and informed decisions on how to handle yourself at this time.

I talked to friends less and less with each mc as I found that support often tipped over into advice giving which often betrayed their own largely uninformed opinions. I had these pages to seek well informed advice from and did end up telling one or two people to keep their opinions to themselves. I got a sense from one very close friend that she thought I was flogging a dead horse and should just stop trying.

I think your decision to tell some close friends was a sound one. the healthiest thing you can do is to start thinking and behaving like a normal pregnant lady.

Thank you ladies.

just - I think your idea of a diary or blog of the feelings and then telling people after the point that they can give inappropriate advice is spot on.

belle - that's absolutely how feel - I need to start thinking and behaving like a 'normal' pregnant person and I'm struggling hugely to do that, so telling people post the 12 week scan / bloods etc is the first stage of that for me, albeit at the moment I can only bring myself to share it with close family and friends.

You amazing ladies are such a massive lifeline through this journey - just want to say a massive thank you to you all. Starting to come over all emotional xxx

Sun I'm so shocked your friend said that, how dare he tell you how to feel!! And how on earth can he understand how you're feeling and advise appropriately (unless he has been through similar, but I'm assuming not..?) Clearly by telling close family and friends you are after their support and positivity. Grrrrrr, very pissed off for you. I hope you can continue to move forward positively and picture yourself having your baby boy in January, and that your friends comments don't hold this back.

Sun wtf?! Can you please pm me his email address? I would love to reply on your behalf .
How bloody dare he?! Does he know your history and that he was one of a privileged few and won't be again?

Please give his email to barking...!

Incredible sun! Can't believe how insensitive your friend was. Like you needed someone to tell you to keep worrying! Really hope there was a good reason in there somewhere, but still not appropriate.

Yay for positive opk sasha!

barking - ohh my fingers are itching to send you his email address

And, oh yes, he is fully aware of what we have been through!

Omg at your friend sun I'm sorry but how could any friend react so insensitively to what he must have known (I'm assuming) is such an emotional thing for you to be sharing. Why be anything other than over the moon for you?! And I agree that stepping away from being the woman who has mcs to being the lady who's having a baby in a few months is hard but absolutely the right thing to do. Enjoy being pregnant and don't let anyone put a downer on it! Xx

What a dickwad sun, would love ro read barkings email to him! People have frankly odd reactions
My closest friend for the past 20 years took me out shopping after my 3rd, and really didn't want me to talk about it. Her plan was to 'distract me' but that's just repressong all the shit and what i really needed to do was talk about it. On said shopping trip she basically implied that i should just give up now i was 40. I don't rhink she's really supported me at all and its part of the reason we're drifting apart really. The most suppirtive people are often the most unexpected actually!

Chrys** whispered congrats!

Catching up after a few busy days away with work.

Unexpectedly I'm bleeding. I miscarried on 12 June and bled heavily for a few days but the bleeding had stopped completely by the time I had my follow-up at the EPU on 30 June. That day, the Dr saw an empty womb and a fat follicle and perfect triple stripe lining on the scan and said ovulation looked imminent and there was no reason not to TTC immediately if we wanted to, despite previous advice saying wait a bit. So, we did try a few times over the next 5 or 6 days yet I started bleeding yesterday morning (6 July). It's continued today. I'm confused, It's more than spotting I'd say but definitely not a regular period for me. I only need a pantyliner changed a couple of times a day. Is this my next proper period or leftover miscarriage? If it is my period I want to be sure as I have Clomid to take this month and don't want to take it unless this is now CD2. Confused! Help please?

I agree with the others that m/c related absence should definitely be treated as pregnancy-related and not regular sick leave too. My
DH is an employment lawyer and has confirmed that.

may I took clomid after my first mc (the clomid got me the bfp) and I had a nightmare stressing about whether this was AF or not, or whether it was just spotting and to ignore it. I can't tell you what to do, but I can say that I was absolutely desperate to get pg again and wanted to get the next cycle started, but I ended up taking it too early, and once I'd started I couldn't stop, and then I was really with myself for using them on a cycle that wasn't really a cycle and not giving it a chance to work. If in doubt, I would wait, even if it means missing this cycle and delaying until the next one, as you'll have a better chance of it working.
Having said that, I totally failed to do that myself when I was in your position .

How confusing may. I know everyone is different but I've definitely found that the cycle following mc i normally spot for a few days before the proper arrival of af. Perhaps it's pre af spotting like this?

I was told that day one is the first day you wake up with proper red blood, but when I've been in doubt I've found the temp drop to be the best indicator. Are you temping? temp is driven by progesterone so the drop indicates the change in oestrogen/prog balance. Presumably its the drop in hormones that is important for taking clomid?

Ps. I did also read that post mc luteal phase is often shorter than normal

this is really interesting on the subject of how not to support anyone going through trauma. I'd be interested to hear what you think wrt miscarriage.

sun your friend is a dick. Can't he just be happy for you FFS?

Really good article, Baking. Thanks for sharing.

Hello Ladies, I am sorry to just gate crash your thread, but I am relieved to find a thread that is constantly updating and supportive of one another. I am so desperate for a baby and more recently struggling to suppress my feelings of grief. My history is...

1st miscarriage, approx 7 weeks in March 2010
My son born September 2011. Complicated pregnancy: pre eclampsia
2nd miscarriage, approx 8 weeks in August 2012
3rd to 10th miscarriage between 5 and 8 weeks from August 2012 to June 2015. In the last 8 miscarriages I have seen healthy tic tac and heart beat and then shortly after I start bleeding :-(
I have been prescribed both aspirin and clexane after my second miscarriage for a known blood clotting disorder factor v lieden. I fought with my GP after my 7th miacarriage for a referral to St Marys Miscarriage Clinic, London, where they discovered an arcuate uterus, which has subsequently been corrected with surgery.
Three further miscarriages and I am really struggling... I cry daily and have random emotional outbursts and these have been increasing I assume due to the fact my older sister now has her third child (two weeks old today) and my youngest sister is due in September.
To add to this my other sister (who in fairness has had her own nightmare of three miscarriages) has told me in confidence that she has had a scan and is 8 weeks 4 days. We are very optimistic as we usually miscarry before 8 weeks.
We are all really close so I am very happy for each and everyone of my sisters but it is so hard to deal with, since I am so desperate for a baby and sibling for my son it hurts.

I desperately hope we all get our rainbow baby soon. x

Oh hopeful, what an absolutely devastating time you have been through. I'm so glad you've found us and hope you'll find lots of support here.
Can't believe you had to fight for a referral after 7 mcs!!! That's shocking and disgusting, that gp should be ashamed and sacked!
Have you had any other testing?
One thing that may be worth considering is testing your uterine nk cells. If you had elevated nk cells you would also take steroids when next pregnant.
I feel that it can't be coincidence that you have lost your little ones after seeing heartbeats around a similar gestation each time. I really hope this means you can get more testing and answers and a treatment plan to help you have your baby.
xxx

baking excellent article, spot on.

hoping oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for what you've been through, and I'm very glad you've found us. Come in and take a seat, this is the best support you'll find anywhere .

Thank you BumbleBee... I am so relieved to find your supportive group and to know I'm not alone (whilst also saddened that there are so many with such similar experiences... I am so sorry for your losses).
I have had only blood clotting tests and then the tests carried out by the RMC St Marys, London. Are you aware of whether NK cells are likely to have been tested and/or how I could look in to this. Sorry to ask... I have read posts of elevated NK cells but never really thought about the hows and the whys!
My husband and I are considering chinese medicine since we kind of thought the RMC was as far as we.could go medically.
I think I need another conversation about the possibilty of counselling. I've always been a happy go lucky down to earth person so never dreamt I would need counselling but cannot snap myself out of this spell...
BumbleBee, where are you on your journey. xxx

Barkingtreefrog, thank you so much. I have posted to other forums with questions and advise previously, but the friendships you have made through the continuation of this thread is so much more than that. I am so glad to have found you all. xx

Hopeful, so sorry to read your sad story. Many of us have travelled to the Coventry implantation clinic run by profs Quenby and Brosens. it's NHS self funded, £360 for a uterine biopsy and follow up phone consultation and emails.

Baking** that is a brilliant article and i am deffinetly going to try to use that theory.

Hopefull** i second what bumble just said exactly. I am soooo sorry for what you have had to go through! Welcome to our club hun bun, the club no one wants to join, but i teally do think this type of support is what you need. Hells bells woman, you've been thorough it and back again!

Please ask away as much as you like hopeful and offload whenever you need.
I've had 2 MMC, one in sep14 and one in jan15. I've only had blood clotting screening (found out I have fvl) and uNK cells (had elevated levels). I'm currently 6+2 wks pg and have my 1st scan tomorrow so am bricking it. I'm on steroids and progesterone and will take clexane tomorrow if scan is ok.
I had the uNK cells tested at coventry (quite a few of us has been on here and there are many positive stories).