Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 25 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Marchgirl]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Sorry for typo's - on phone on train! Pop** ive just bought a new 3 piece suite, but don't worry, i refrained fron cerise and went for sensible pale brown. In heaven i shall lounge upon my cerise pink velvet couch! X

inamay sorry you find yourself here. I hope you find some knowledge and empowerment from this lovely thread, though.

march whispered congrats. I’m holding my breath for you for the next few days. x

minnie I felt exactly the same when I got the low nk cell result from Coventry. But the subsequent conversation with Prof Q was so lovely and reassuring that, like others have said, I’m quite relieved now.

freckle Were you just on the train back from Leeds? If so, so was I! We could’ve passed each other without knowing. Loving the sound of the new sofa… What about some cerise cushions as a compromise?! Am gutted yours is a bfn this month. Get popping the pills. We’ll compare notes next week. x

Ha ha! No, train back from bradford foster square (dfs...) but i imagined i saw you today on the train out! Clearly not, but this time next week the four of us will have met! xxx

Am stood in holland n barrat with agnus castus in hand, says on box dont use if tryibg to get pg... Help!?!?

freckle I asked Mr Rai's permission to take it when ttc and he said yes. Didn't give any more info but I still have the email somewhere if you want to see it? I think I took a stronger dose than they sell in Holland and Barrett though _ 100mg from the Chinese herb shop or Amazon.

freckle I'm on it and although not ttc at the mo would take it if I was, if that makes sense. Am also on a strong version - 1000mg - from Amazon. x

You lot are all brilliant you know that?

brummie I think I do feel calmer today, there have been a lot of tears recently though.

march I have all my digits crossed for you.

My line manager called yesterday- am I coming back to work Sunday morning - errr no! I'm not rushing back like before and my OH nurse is calling on Monday.

Glad you have had an ok day snoopy, and that you are taking a bit more time. I think it will help and sadly the way the job is going these days nobody will thank you for coming back earlier. I hope by tomorrow you will feel some relief that it has passed and will be able to look forwards again x

sasha, i have a 3 day surge. Normally ov on the middle day but it seems to take another day to settle down, although like I said, my surge is a very strong line so it's easier to see its been and gone. I feel for you having to keep on when you're knackered! ! Do you temp at all? That might help show is passed. Hope you can keep going, but you might have done enough already. Why not give it a break for a day then have a last hurrah tomorrow.

Ah. So jealous of you all meeting up. I'm so far away from everyone else. Speaking of which, Annie, how are you doing lovely? Hope you're recovering ok. I think you're my closest neighbour!

Hello ladies, newbie here, hoping I can join you. Found my way here via justonemoretime's very informative and encouraging blog - congratulations just and hope all is going well! Think we are fellow Bucks grammar teachers from what I read in your blog.

Been lurking for a bit and thought I should come out and introduce myself. I'm 34, DH and I have been ttc #1 for 2 years, 2 very early miscarriages, no1 @ 4.5 weeks July 14 and no2 @ 5.5 weeks April 15. Has taken a long time to get my head round no 2 And I'm determined to get some testing done as there is a strong family history of infertility and rmc. Thinking of going to Coventry in the next couple of months as no one in the family has ever been given a reason for their problems with conventional tests.

Just wondered whether any of you had a pattern of similar very early losses that went on to be explained by NK cell issues? Or perhaps some thing else? Have had blood test for Tablet trial this week just to rule something else out to be honest. Under the hospital for sub-fertility issue but they won't address miscarriages yet even though I tried to push my theory that the infertility and miscarriages are linked.

Congratulations to everyone here who is currently preg - it is very reassuring to see so many positive stories after all the heartache.

Hi ladies - another newbie too hoping I can join you? I started a thread about my newly pg colleague yesterday and Brummie kindly suggested I join you. I've been lurking for quite a while actually and following your ups and downs - you do seem like a lovely lot!

As for me, I'm nearly 34 and have been ttc #1 since October, when we got married. It seems we get pg easily, but can't seem to hang on to them. Had 2 mcs, first in early Jan (mmc discovered at 12 week scan, empty sac 6 weeks max) and the second in mid-April (natural at 6-7 weeks). I've been gearing myself up for ttc again and am due to ov in the next week I think (have a 39 day cycle which is frustrating). I thought I was coping ok - just been on holiday where I made sure I indulged in plenty of wine, cheese and cured meat! But back to work 2 days ago, and quickly realised my colleague is in early pregnancy. I recognise all the signs. I don't think she knows about my mcs, unless she's put two and two together due to my sick leave. It's knocked me for six, to be honest. I'm thinking horrible thoughts and feeling very bitter. Today I feel ok, just had a catch up with a lovely understanding friend and feeling better, but feeling sick at the thought of Monday. She sits right opposite me and I can see her every move. Wondering how I will cope but know I will, because what choice do I have?

I know these next few weeks will be hardest as we ttc and enter the 2ww again. As I've only had 2 at the moment, I sort of feel like I'm waiting for the inevitable with the 3rd, just so I can get testing. I've been reading a bit about aspirin and wondering if I should ask doctor if it would do me any harm once I get bfp - have any of you taken it without being 'prescribed'?

Thanks in advance for any support or reassurance. You ladies all seem to have been through so much and seem so strong and supportive of each other. I think it might so me some good to join you and feel that I'm less alone in this, because all I ever see is people having pregnancies that work out. It's everywhere at work, in the media and even on Corrie - I feel like I can't escape it!!

Welcome to the feed Tom and Thorne. I'm so sorry for your losses and the hard times you've both been through. You've come to the right place as the ladies on here are amazing!

Thorne I will let someone who's been through NK cell testing answer your questions as it's not something I'm massively knowledgeable about. I do know that there have been great results on this thread thanks to people seeing the Coventry team and its not an expensive route to try.

Tom oh the horrible jealousy, I know just how you feel . I'm nearly 38 weeks pg but it's taken me 6 years of ttc to get here and I couldn't stand pg women after I'd been trying for about 3. All my female colleagues started their families while I waited and looked on in helpless envy. In the end I had some counselling, which did help a lot. Could you ask your GP to refer you for some sessions too? I'm sure you would qualify after your losses if you wanted to try it.

XxX

Many thanks for the warm welcome Cat and huge congratulations on your pregnancy- not long now!

Tom sorry to hear of your losses. I too know how frustrating and upsetting it is when others close to you are preg. In the time we've been trying many of my close friends have had at least one baby and I found out only a few days after my last mc that one is due shortly before what would have been my due date. I think counselling is a good idea, I have a GP appt soon to ask about it myself. I would also highly recommend reflexology for stress relief and relaxation - I love it!

Thanks both. They just all make it look so easy, when chances are it hasn't been for them either! In this case I really didn't expect it - she's planning a wedding and I just naively assumed she would get that out of the way first. In a way if it was a close friend it might be a bit easier, as I would at least feel able to talk openly about it and also encourage her to talk (i don't want to be the bitch everyone has to be considerate of and keep quiet in front of). Thanks for the suggestions - counselling was already on my mind and I think I'll call the GP on Monday. I don't know how long it'll take to get though and it's these next few weeks that worry me most.
catlover how amazing that you've reached full term after such a journey! Best of luck to you over the next few weeks.
thorne thanks for your warm words too. I hope you get some answers soon. In your case I definitely think you should be referred for testing before you have to put yourself through a third.

I'd really recommend counselling too. I had lots when we were struggling to get pregnant with my son. Almost all our good friends conceived and / or gave birth and a few colleagues in my team / floor in that two year period. It was hell and I really struggled. I had counseling via the GP after insisting and refusing anti-depressants. I also accessed some via an NHS scheme called IAPT which was running where I lived at the time, and through my then employer's employee assistance programme. I also saw the counsellor at our IVF clinic when we reached that point.
Now we're ttc #2 and staying pregnant seems as much of a
problem as getting pregnant, I will look into getting some again. It's a different struggle now, physically and mentally.
I'd also recommend hypnotherapy / relaxation CDs and downloads. They saved my sanity and helped me sleep back then. And acupuncture, not so much for the fertility / conception side of things, but for pure relaxation.

Thanks inamay - it seems like everyone has been through this. I knew it would happen at some point and it's just about finding a way to cope. I'd forgotten but my company has an employee assistance programme too so I'll look that up too. I dipped into mindfulness meditation a few years ago for different reasons so might try to take that up again - it's hard to find the motivation though when it requires effort, I'm in a can't-be-bothered frame of mind most of the time! I'm so sorry for your losses, it sounds like you're having a particularly tough time at the moment. Be kind to yourself xx

Welcome tom and thorn, but sorry that you have to be here . I hated that helpless, inevitable feeling i had after mc2, which turned into proper rage about the testing rules. I wish i had found this thread after no2. It might have helped me realise i didn't have to just accept it and wait for the next. I really hope neither of you experience number 3, but i don't think it's unreasonable at all to push for testing now.
I have been to Coventry and diagnosed with high nk. My losses were at 12wks (measuring 6), 8 wks (measuring 5), 8wks (after hb seen at 7.1) and

tom and thorne Welcome to the loveliest thread you could hope for at such a horrible time. Such lovely knowledgeable ladies. So sorry for your hard journeys.

I would second acupuncture for relaxation- my acupuncturist is like my counsellor too so double whammy! I love reflexology too but only have had it on the very rare occaisons I've been to a spa.

And tom I totally get the frustration, jealousy and sadness of having people close be pregnant. Three of my friends who live locally and so I see most often are all pregnant. I find it very hard to get together at the moment though I'm trying really hard to pretend I'm not! One of them even uttered the line 'it'll be ok- if you just relax about getting pregnant it'll happen' the other day. Easy to say in the second trimester of your easily achieved second pregnancy!

Has anyone here self-medicated witg low dose aspirin to try to prevent miscarriage? A specialist I saw today suggested an expensive test (as we've only had 2 miscarriages so test wouldn't be
done on the NHS) would be needed before this would be recommended, but what's the harm in taking aspirim just in case, in the first trimester?

Oh and for anyone in the tww, Boots have FRER on a 2 for 1 offer this week. Only got two packs but did consider really stocking up! Thinking I might test tomorrow (cd24 and 8dpo) my cycle is about 27 days usually, though the Cov scratch seems to have thrown it off slightly. Will start prog tomorrow too still debating front or back entrance!

What I'm struggling with at the moment is the different context we're in when TTC #2. I'm unbelievably grateful for my Son, who makes all this easier to bear. But we moved cities when I was pregnant and my social circle consists almost entirely of other mums I met while pregnant or shortly after my son was born. Almost all already have their second child or are pregnant again. None have mentioned fertility treatments or miscarriages, even when I've shared my struggles so I guess they all had no issues. I can't avoid babies, children and pregnant women in the same way I could last time around, mainly by self-isloating socially and being very selective about where I went and what I did. My son adores babies too and is so sweet with them. It won't be long before he starts asking where his brother or sister is, I know. Sorry for the pity party. :( I know I'm so lucky to have my son.

Minnie, do you mean pessaries, re: front or back entrance? If so, I'd recommend back. Less mess and better absorbed too.

Oh, and I have limited patience with 'friends' being disappointed with the gender of their second child. Yes, really. They talk about this, even knowing what we've been through!

may I was prescribed baby aspirin by my rmc but haven't taken it as the Prof at Coventry was really against it unless you have a diagnosed clotting disorder, which I don't. She stated a study which found women taking aspirin had a much higher rate of MC on aspirin than the placebo group. I think it's a bit of a divisive topic and know lots of places/doctors do prescribe it. I'm sure some ladies on here are on it too with no problems. My last MC was almost definitely chromosomal so I didn't feel like I wanted to risk the aspirin but it is very much personal choice I think. I'm sure someone else will be along to advise soon. It's all such a bloody minefield trying to find out what works and what doesn't, especially as no-one seems to agree! X

Thanks Minnie. Can I ask how you know that your last loss was most likely chromosomal?