Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 24 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Brummiegirl15]

New thread for us if it's worked on phone! Will paste stats

Patience whispered congrats from me too!!!!

I had the idea that if I mentioned it, this one would have more chance of succeeding. Go figure.

Thanks bootles
Congrats patience fingers crossed

Gp said it's shingles and it's likely because I'm on the preds apparently and my immune system is low - she had a bit of a go at being on the preds. So sitting in car outside hospital having a bit of a cry lol.

Whoever mentioned sex in early pregnancy - whoops I didn't know that could be a problem as we did it yesterday... First time in ages and then I have been worried about it since and won't be doing it again now until/ if I give birth. Hope everyone is having a nice Sunday x

Congratulations patience. Hoping for a sticky bean.

little, sorry about the shingles. Did the doc say there was a risk to the baby? I thought it was ok but I might be wrong. It does mean that you are immune to chickenpox so that's definitely a good thing. I'd ignore the bad comment about the pred. Your immune system is compromised anyway in pg and you wouldn't be taking it if you didn't need it. Hope it's a mild case. I had it twice as a teenager and it was a bit uncomfortable.

Sorry to hear about your dad barking. He's not had an easy time has he. Hope you had a fun holiday

Littlebear that's crap. I'm so sorry. I've had shingles before so plenty of rest for you.

You've obviously been exposed to the chicken pox virus whilst on the pred but you wouldn't be taking it if you didn't need to.

It was me who mentioned sex in pregnancy. My first mc happened the morning after having sex so in my head it equates to being an issue.

When I asked the midwife about it for pregnancy number 2 she said I might want to refrain until after 14 wks for subsequent pregnancies and I have done, but still lost them!!!

So I don't think it's exact advice so please don't worry

Barking** hope you have had a wonderful holiday and so sorry you've returned to dad having fallen Glad to see you back anyway.

Bootles** why are you worried about 'coming out' to workmates? Maybe you'll get a bit of a break if people are in the know?

Flen** sorry on the bfn xx

Patience** whispered congrats!!!

So, like minnie** last month i have the go for 'bonk or broke' option this month (ttc or cov). I keep flipping in my mind. Ive just got a positive on ovulation stick (day 17 for me, not bad, accupuncture has brought it firestd) and this is third ov since mc3. So, it's either ttc, or phone kerrie in the morning. I know what you are going to say pompom wavers...i don't know if i can resist though!!! And i have the progesterone waiting - even if i don't have heparin secured or had had 'thr scratch'

Third option is after being so shocked/upset about clothes size bought this week that focus on shifting my shocking weight gain and postpone ttc until the autumn. Honest - it's bad. I worry that my mc is weight related. But what if i focus on good diet throughout preg. Arrrrgh! Headfuck headfuck headfuck - i'm 40, i don't have time to waste or even procrastonate!!!!!! Both consultants and gp have said get cracking on the ttc...

littlebear oh no that's crappy news. I'm sure you'll be ok and surely nothing to do with pred, immune is weaker in pg anyway. Hope it's a swift dose and doesn't bother you too much.

barking sorry about your dad. Hope you've had a fab holiday though.

brummie I'm sure sex is ok, loads of people do it all the way through, although I have to admit I won't do it now as I worry too much. We did with ds and at about 20 weeks had a bleed (which doc said was just dislodged old blood) so probably won't do it again. Can't see that non-pen would do anything at all though.

flen so sorry about the bfn. It's so disheartening. I'm dreading the tww this month (if I ever ov!) I'm worrying about the prog too. Still undecided on whether to risk without it.

patience yay- great news. I so hope this is another wave of bfps I can jump on!

freckle it's a nightmare trying to decide! I'm glad I went for the benefit of the scratch- I don't catch easily usually so felt that was useful. And I guess knowing about nk cells is good too. I went to get the meds but now I'm still so undecided about using the prog that if I had it anyway I'm not sure what I'd do. It is so bloody tempting to just get on with it! I wouldn't worry about weight too much- if you get pg just eat healthier (this is what I'm telling myself as I munch my third biscuit!)

So went to the pg women get together and it was fine. Actually hardly mentioned being pg at all- phew! And I didn't put a downer on it by talking about MC so all good.

Can I ask all the bfp ladies and new mums how many people took the prog from 7 days after ov? Or from bfp? Or I guess not at all? I know I've harped on about this before but trying to decide whether just to do prog from bfp and maybe maximise the scratch without risking prog making me too selective. I just worry as I'm not naturally hyperfertile. But then I know it can't be bad if it's given for IVF and also might stop another 6 week loss. So sorry I'm being such a pita about it! MC is screwing with my head!

Thanks guys

I took prog from BFP xx

I took Gestone from day of egg donors egg collection so from ovulation

Thanks guys. You can of course tell me to stop being so fking indecisive, shut the fk up, take the prog, get on with it and see what happens!

I would take it and see what happens minnie, but I'll not say the other bits! You are entitled to be a bit indecisive. These are big decisions to make.

freckle, you know my feelings so i won't bore you with them again

I was from 7 days post ov

Welcome Lauren but I'm sorry to hear all you've been through. You've had a very tough time.

Longest Bet you are getting really excited/nervous now!

Barking I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, what a shit and shocking end to your holiday.

Patience Congratulations - hope this is your happy ending!

Mrs Confusion Sorry af arrived the day your friend got a BFP, that is horrible timing. I've had an ectopic too and it does throw up so many questions about fertility - it's awful. Although I still have both my tubes as they managed to catch it before I ruptured. I'm sorry if I'm telling you things that you already know, but even if you ovulate from the side with the missing tube, the good fallopian tube can swing round and catch it. The human body is truly amazing! So there is still a very high chance you can get pregnant again.

Brummie When I was pregnant with DS I was too scared to have sex until after 20 weeks. However I was constantly having orgasms in my sleep!! It never normally happens when I'm not pregnant. These orgasms didn't seem to do DS any harm!

Flen If this is your 5th month of trying, I think it would be a hard faced GP that wouldn't take pity on you and start testing for infertility given your tough history. It's worth a try. Alternatively there are infertility testing kits you can do at home, but can't vouch for the quality. I've taken anything from 1 month to 1 year to conceive so I know how hard it feels to have to wait (although granted, not as long as many do. A friend of mine tried for 5 years!) This could be totally irrelevant for you, but I've found I've always conceived quicker when I've been at a healthy weight.

Little bear I'm sorry about the shingles, that is so crap.

Freckle That's a tough one, do you think you'd regret it if you didn't go for the scratch and miscarried again? Only you can answer it really, but I hope you are able to make a decision you feel comfortable with.

Minnie I'm one of Mr Shehata's NHS patients and he only prescribes progesterone from BFP, although he encourages you to test with an FRER 10 days after ovulation, so you normally start progesterone before your af would be due.

Minnie what did the doctor say about your concerns re. Prog and possibly preventing a pregnancy? I think I remember you asked him.

I'm not sure what I would have done if i'd decided to go. I probably would have just done as I was told initially and then has a rethink after three months. I can imagine how difficult it is though as all you want to do is get pregnant straight after a .MC, the quicker the better.

I had a great afternoon at softplay would you believe. Lots of newborns all around me and I swear on my life they had no effect on me whatsoever. It's like I've had a lobotomy lol. The best bit was a little girl who was playing with DS on the slide said to me; where is your brother? I said he's not my brother he's my son, and she said oooooooh. I am now glowing in the inference I look no older than 12

Minnie 7 days post ov.

mrsC hugs. It's shit thinking about how long we've spent being pregnant over the last year or so with nothing to show for it. Hope you've had a nicer Sunday.

Lauren welcome aboard. I don't have an answer to your question. Hopefully someone will shortly.

littlebear rubbish about the shingles but although it feels like our bodies regularly fail us our bodies are amazing and I'm sure this is just a hiccup to distract you.

Hope Scott is settling in ok just. Bet it's lovely having him home, if scary sometimes!!

Thanks for all the thoughts, everyone. I emailed Prof B today and he's suggested taking it from BFP next month (amazing to email back on a Sunday!!) so I think I will try that. Feeling very disheartened. Sorry I haven't been around on the thread so much - I'm finding it all a bit hard at the moment. I really appreciate your support, though, thank you.

littlebear that's not fair of the doctor to have a go at you. You are on a prescribed medication, and I doubt this Dr is a rmc specialist. Forget her.

minnie I took progesterone from 7dpo both this time and last. It didn't seem to affect my time to conceive. What did Coventry say?

freckle I completely understand your reluctance to go to Coventry, and the desire to get going ttc. I found it very hard to wait a month and go. However...it sounds like you already know all the reasons in favour of going, just that you are fighting with the desire to be ttc. Its a tough one. I had to look at it as saving time in the long run, and that seemed to help me.

I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable telling people my history. I guess it just feels very personal and private, and other than putting stuff on here (that anyone can read! I see the irony) I tend to keep things to myself a bit.

Taken all afternoon to post this and not refreshed so probably missed losds.

Ok, trying to catch up with the 10?!?! pages since I went away on Monday evening! Apologies in advance for anything I miss!

brummie I just missed your bfp, you posted just after I left for the airport! Everything crossed for you .

cat congratulations on being on maternity leave! Nearly there! . You asked about my next treatment - I got a +opk last Monday morning, so I called Thornbury from Spain and asked for an appointment for the nk cells biopsy the following Monday (ie tomorrow). I usually ovulate (shown by temp rise) around 36 hours after a +opk so I'm hoping that booking in 7 days after the opk gives me enough time to get done before AF shows (typical LP 7/8 days)! I've got an appointment at 7pm tomorrow so I don't have to take any time out of work on my first day back and DH will be able to come with me - oh the joys of going private! I'm still just as interested in what they can tell me about my progesterone levels in my womb (as opposed to a blood test) given my ridiculously short LPs.

I'm not making any further plans re ivf or FET until after we get the results, but I'll start cutting down on wheat, going back to acupuncture and trying some angus castus in a desperate attempt for a natural bfp!

spam I'm so sorry for your loss, a belated welcome to the thread.

minnie my acupuncturist always manages to make me feel better as well - probably a combination of the needles and her being just a lovely person to talk to. Given most counsellors just listen and don't give advice as you're supposed to come to your own decisions, it's pretty much the same thing, with added woo!!

snoopy that balance between living life on one hand and not making plans you might have to cancel on the other is such a hard one! I've got time off at the end of August and I can't decide whether to book something, or wait to see what the situation is with the IVF and book something last minute instead of trying to work IVF round a holiday, or if by some miracle we get pg, worry about travelling (I have factor 5 leiden thrombophilia and am not totally convinced the flight back from America when I was pg with my first had nothing to do with the loss). My DH has a phrase he keeps throwing at me 'Don't think, just do it.' This is in many contexts (like when I'm chickening out of a downhill on the mountain bike!) but it actually works for most things. I can churn myself up overthinking all the implications of everything ttc related. Sometimes I just have to switch off and go with it. I think you'd be very, very unlucky to mc that particular week of your holiday. Given the probabilities, I'd probably go with continuing to ttc if that was your only concern. (I'm aware that you posted this almost a week ago and have probably moved on and I've gone into a whole stream of consciousness about it! .

Also to snoopy is it just me that can't see mthfr without seeing motherfucker?! I had two consultants at the same rmc give me completely opposing advice on aspirin. You'd think within the same clinic they'd agree on a party line?!

spartacus a lot of ladies I know going through IVF have been taking DHEA to boost egg quality. As with anything ttc related there is so much you can potentially try and very little useful research on what actually works as opposed to 'x did y and she got pg after 7 years of ttc'. Yes, but we have no idea whether she would have got pg anyway without it, or whether it was the a, the b and the c that she had tried that cycle! The thing with DHEA is that it's not a cheap one to try, otherwise I'd be on it... I'd also second the recommendation from texta for 'It starts with the egg', it's very popular on the infertility threads!

Wow, texta - you must rattle!
Over the last 3 years I've tried all sorts, but mainly pregnacare, Vit C (1000mg), Vit b6, CoQ10 and omega 3. I'm going to try angus castus next, I was going to move on to that when I finally got to the top of the fertility clinic waiting list and started on clomid instead.

bootles your fight between not trying stuff for financial reasons and then feeling guilty that you haven't rings very true with me. We want to move house, so the amount I'm spending on acupunture/nk cells testing/possibly private IVF is money we could be using to move. But having a baby is a bigger dream than the dream house right now, and I still haven't managed a natural bfp in over three years so ttc without something extra seems pointless.

sebs you sound so much happier, it's lovely to read . After almost 3 years of ttc the enforced break we had post mc was not what I wanted but in hindsight was just what I needed. We've had another enforced break post IVF whilst waiting for the nk cells biopsy, and it's really helped me recover from the disappointment of the the IUI failure closely followed by IVF failure, when I really thought at least one would have worked and the difficult bit would be getting past 8 weeks.

oz welcome - I find it very interesting that your GP talked about permission to conceive, very similar to things I've read (The Mind-Body Fertility Connection) and what my hypnotist said (I saw her during the IVF after reading the book).

mrsd keep hanging in there, one day at a time. There is no reason at all that this isn't going to be your win.

patience - welcome - I tried meditation after my mc's - through the Catching Rainbows website. For anyone struggling to conceive post mc I would thoroughly recommend the personal plan. But having read further, it seems congratulations are in order! .

longest any news?!

pop I'm so sorry you didn't find a reason. Keep ranting if it helps .

twilight hope the new job goes well. That twinkle twinkle rhyme was vomit inducing, I totally think you should reply with baking's version .

tanny sorry things are still difficult with DH. This journey affects your life on so many levels .

Having never got that far, can someone tell me what is in a bounty pack and what Emma's Diary is?! Good work on the email Brummie .

bythesea good luck for your scan tomorrow .

bootles excellent news that everything looks right for your dates

sasha I had clomid for 6 cycles, the first got me a bfp but I mc'd at 7 weeks. I didn't have any noticeable side effects. It brought OV forward a couple of days to around cd 17 for me. There is apparently an increased risk of mc (as with any fertility drug/treatment).
Good luck taking a break from 'thinking about it'. I wanted to slap my best mate when she suggested I should just stop stressing about it and it would probably happen.... Holidays, date nights and friends sound good though .

girlie I was devasted for you to read that your worst fears were confirmed . I'm glad you've got time to make a decision on the job offer so you don't have to rush it.

littlebear great scan news

tiny , when I was on holiday this last week, and everyone was getting drunk and happy at the wedding, I just felt like I wasn't the person I used to be anymore. It was DH's mate getting married, a friend from school who doesn't live nearby so I've met him a few times and know him relatively well, but only knew the bride and groom and one other couple at the wedding, whilst everyone else knew most of the crowd there. It was an effort to socialise when I was the one that didn't know everyone else, and a few years ago that wouldn't have bothered me, but I'm just not the overly sociable and carefree person I was. It feels like there's now an underlying thin layer of sadness that will never go away and there are just more significant things that should be happening in my life than making an effort to produce small talk with someone I am unlikely to ever see again. Not to mention the fact that we were hoping I couldn't go as I'd be pg .

praying - welcome, so sad there are so many newbies just in the last week. With regards to the acronyms/terms - I actually asked the nurse about my dildocam rather than transvaginal scan . She didn't bat an eyelid and knew exactly what I was referring to!

loopy good work on the phone note trick at the gp! Glad she's going to be helpful. I'm the same, if I didn't come on this thread, I'd worry I was either holding it all in or putting too much on DH, who is struggling with it all himself. The hours it's taken me today to catch up after a week away is a little ridiculous though, and I'm still 3 days behind so might have to start skimming....

sun I think I'd have asked for where I could read the nk cells research myself! What a co-oincidence!

jady great to hear more good scan news .

wadsy I've heard the same thing about the injections for the factor 5 leiden - I'll be on the same if I get a bfp but I keep telling myself I'll just be happy to have a reason to be doing them!

tiny - speaking as someone who has unfollowed every single friend on fb who is a parent of children of any age or might one day be, I love the suggestion of a side thread. I can't see photos of scans/babies/children of any age despite the journey that has happened to get there without getting or or which I know is my own problem, but it's always easier if I can avoid it . Having said that, on a good day I will probably click the link to see the photos of the thread babies .

lauren - welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your horribly long journey. I'm also on the IVF train but without success as yet. I'm also getting tests (nk cells) before using our two frosties.

loopy congrats . Sorry to hear about the shingles, why are these things never easy? .

minnie glad the playdate went ok

flen my gp wouldn't see me until we had been unsuccessfully ttc for 1 year, 6 months if over 38. It's very easy for me to say but it's definitely too early to worry about being infertile, there are so many things that have to line up correctly to get that bfp.

boozle I'd love to go to Harris, but I'm always worried I'll end up driving all that way and then getting very bad weather!

bootles well done for 'coming out'.

Thanks for the messages about my dad. It all just stinks. He looked about 90 when he came out of theatre, and really frail. The nurses on his ward were lovely, but his speech is so slurred and difficult to understand I really worry about him being able to communicate and get what he needs .

freckle for what it's worth, I'd suggest going for the diet and exercise option alongside ttc. Exercise for me is the greatest stress reliver and helps keep me sane through the ttc nightmare.

Ok, what DH thinks I've been doing on the laptop all afternoon is finding campervan insurance quotes. Best get on to that then... .

Next time I go on holiday without wifi I won't bother trying to catch up!!!

Thanks everyone for the replies (and putting up with me asking the same thing millions of times) I think I'll do as Cov says this month anyway. Prof Q just said try it for three months and if you're not pg it's working too well so stop. If that happened I know I'd feel that's such a waste of three months as I'd be almost 41 by then. And statistically I should be due a decent egg (though obviously I know given my history/age it's less likely) even Prof Q said its only 50/50 from now on. Fingers crossed and hope I become a Cov pompon waver soon enough!

And barking what a star for posting on ten pages!!! Have a

barking - loving the mammoth catch up post

Barking & Boozle, hope you have a fab hols x (barking, sorry to hear about your dad)

Little bear- what rubbish luck getting Shingles. Ignore the doctor, sounds like they were talking out of their bottom

Patience- whispers congrats

Sebs, agree with the others you sound in a good place x

After a weekend of being looked after, DH & I have started telling close friends and family that I've had another MC. We hadn't told anyone that I was pregnant so it was a shock to most, but some had guessed as apparently I had been looking rubbish (that was mother) and didn't eat goats cheese recently (friend) thankfully most people have been great except fil who told me I was getting on (thanks- ggrh!)

Anyway DH have agreed a way forward. We'll get the results back from the kareotyping, see what the local hospital is planning to offer and then go to Coventry. We're in no rush as either way I'm 38 before the end of the year, so hitting another stats bracket (great!) We've agreed we've only got the energy for one or two attempts left before we call it the end of the day. In the meantime I'm going to start the fourth weight loss regime in 18 months (lovely) and look into acupuncture . Do you think I'm a planner by any chance?!

Barking** so good to have you back! xx

Minnie** i like the idea of statistically being due a good egg!!

You know what i love about this thread? I am as excited for you lot to get your babies as i am for myself! Xx

Girlie** i think it is so lovely that you and dh can share so much. You trully sound like a team, moving forward together. You ate very lucky to have such a cracking fella!!!

Woohoo more bfps congratulations!

barking you're so right. I can't put my life on hold forever. I don't hve any identified clotting issues and my doctor has put me on baby aspirin just in case so I just need to get over myself really.

girlie I hope everyone's looking after you. It's been more thain a week now and I'm still spending most of my days in bed.

I've got to get up the courage to speak to OH tomorrow about sorting out work. Every time I talk about what's happened I cry. You have to speak to a call centre to 'register' your sickness and when the man asked for my reason for sickness and I replied 'miscarriage' there was just silence for ten seconds before he said 'well that's all recorded on the system for you. Have a nice day' and hung up. I guess he could see my history on my HR record and couldn't even find the words.

I was so depressed last night when DH was working, I texted him to say I think we should just get a puppy. His reply was 'you want a baby and a puppy then'. I told him how low j feel, that I've practically lost hope and he said he still has faith we will get there if we can just keep going. I said I would keep going for him, because I love him, but I just don't see us having a happy ending.

But we might get a puppy in six months haha