Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 24 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Brummiegirl15]

New thread for us if it's worked on phone! Will paste stats

It does, brummie!

The "father" of the terminated baby was just such a scumbag.

And for all my conflicted emotions now, DH is a wonderful dad...

tiny big hugs to you today, it's a long and hard journey which leaves us pretty different to how we started out

littlebear good news on scan

brummie another one here who had bad stretching pain early on especially when going from sitting to standing.

Welcome praying Hope you find some support here.

just hope Scott is guzzling!

longest very pleased to hear you are feeling better again today and able to start feeling a bit excited. DH on the mend as well?

No problem Sasha we are here for you whenever you need us.

For me, this page keeps me sane and it stops me talking all the time in real life. But what is right for me is not right for everyone else.

But we are always here xx

Great news littlebear!

tiny Hugs. We are marked for life... Hope that the memory will stop hurting so much eventually, even if it never goes away.

Well, I can confirm that I am definitely going mental... Woke up about 5am this morning with a stabbing pain on the right side of my stomach, sort of in the ovary area. Cue me freaking out, thinking, 'that's it, the miscarriage has started' and 'I'm having an ectopic' (after confirming an intrauterine pg at the scan 10 days ago, duh).
At 6.30am, I finally get up (still with the pain), go to the loo and - have the mother of all farts! It was trapped wind .
Honestly, I need a break! But let's face it - I will never relax, won't I?Especially not 2 days before a scan. Sigh...

Not a hope of catching up with the thread, but Brummie, pains are normal. I had them with ds1 before I had taken a test, wondered what the hell was wrong with me as all I'd done was paint a few raised beds in our garden and was in agony, DH got worried, then few days later we realised why! I now am in tune with my body and feel everything well before I can test. I sneezed this morning and it hurt and pulled across my groin where uterus must be. Roll on the weekend when I will crack open the tests.

Just hope Scott is feeding a bit better today?

Cloud and girlie and anyone else that's got a scan coming up good luck.

Sasha I'm with Brummie in that I need this thread as my place to get things off my chest, can only talk to DH about it in small doses. Worry if I dumo it on him and he realises just how much I'm thinking about it all, researching stuff online etc that it will only put more pressure onto him if we have another mc and need to ttc, worried about him failing to finish. But you must do whatever you think is best for you, but good luck with whatever your new treatment plan is.

Had to take ds1 to the GP today, and I wrote a note on my phone which I got her to read whilst I was there. Didn't want to talk in front of DS1 as he is old enough to blurt things he hears to all and sundry now. She said that as long as Mr Watts can fax the surgery, she has no issues in giving me the prescriptions for progesterone and clexane. So at least if I get a BFP that sticks long enough to get the location scan done, I don't have to worry about fighting to get the medication locally rather than the 45 minute trek to the hospital.

That makes things a lot easier for you Loopy

Worcester is still 30 minutes for me. Normally I'd be under the Alexandra in Redditch, but Mr W is the specialist and he's at Worcester. So it's Worcester for me!

Although there are plans to take all consultant care from the Alex and only have midwife led. If you need a consultant, soon you will have to go to Worcester plus they've got their brand spanking new Meadows Birth Centre so I'm happy to stay there I will stay there

I don't know what's up with me, I was feeling so positive yesterday but today I feel like this journey is never going to end. Every mc just kicks me back to square one.

I think I'm getting more upset because the due date for my first is coming up. I just wanted to be pregnant again by that date and instead I'm getting over a third miscarriage. I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel sad

snoopy It is horrible how you think you're doing ok one day and then the grief and sadness suddenly hits and knocks you down again. I think most of us feel that pressure or expectation of being pregnant by due dates or other key dates and for many it is a bit of a relief when the actual day passes and that pressure is no longer there.
I hope this is the case for you, but it is so sad whether the pressure is there or not.
When is your date? Do you have any plans for the day? xxx

Also snoopy, there will be light at some point in the future. Please beleive you won't feel this shit forever because you won't. xxx

Snoopy my 3rd mc was 3 weeks before my 1st due date and 3 months before my 2nd due date.

I was devastated to not be pregnant by then so oh my god I know how you feel.

But I found I was actually ok on both days - sad and reflective more than anything else. I lit a candle and had a glass of wine and promised my babies that their losses would not be in vain and that one day I would get there and I would fight on until I did. I will one day tell my baby that I fought for him/her and never gave up.

Now I'm pregnant for the 4th time and praying that I'll be ok for due date number 3 on 7th August.

But the grief completely blindsides you sometimes, out of nowhere. I've really struggled seeing my pregnant colleague every single day - how gorgeous and glowing she looked and it reminded me of my losses. Plus my friend who had IVF as a single woman and is same age as me, and all I could think was why has her baby survived and mine didn't. How is that fair?

Plus she pretty much distanced herself from me and as an old friend that really hurt. Colleague did her utmost to ask questions , ask me how I am etc and that helped.

I struggled and this thread was my lifeline.

However all I can say is no matter how dark the night is, the sun will always rise. I try and live my life by that

It's june 13th. So like you brummie I pretty much miscarried three weeks before it. It was supposed to be a rest day but since they changed our shift pattern we owe them hours, despite working on more days, so it's now a 'training day' on a bloody Saturday! I've taken annual leave but don't think DH can so I'll probably be alone.

Wow - been away from work for a couple of days and cannot keep up with how fast this thread has moved. Just picking up on the last couple of pages and will try and red back this evening.

snoopy - sorry you are feeling so down today. I can absolutely identify with the feeling of doing well one day and then not the next and that feeling of just wanting to be pregnant again by due date instead of still going theough this shit again and again is horrid. I think most desperately I have just wanted a crystal ball to see how this all pans out - if I only knew it would come good in the end, it would be so much easier to endure now. There will be light at the end of the tunnel though hun - I have faith that there will be for all of us. And in the meantime we just have to be kind to ourselves and take the time we need to work through this however we can.

tiny - big hugs for today. This process changes us forever and robs us of the innocence and joy of pregnancy.

I think a few of us have scans tomorrow - girlie and I'm sure there is someone else. I also have my follow up scan from last week when they saw hb but measuring a week behind my dates. Big hand holding for the other scanees tomorrow. x

Oh - woman next to me on the train home is reading a research paper on natural killer cells.... Tempted to strike up a conversation!

Good luck for scans tomorrow sun and girlie (and anyone else). Everything crossed for you both x

Sorry you're feeling low snoopy. It does seem to come in waves, doesn't it. And I find when I'm tired it always feels a lot worse and like I can cope less than when I've slept well. I had that horrible feeling of needing to be pg again before my due date last week. I failed, or it felt like a failure at the time, but actually now I'm really relieved it's passed and I don't have that extra stress anymore. They are never going to be nice days, but I find once they are passed it feels easier to look forward again. Hugs

loopy, that's good news about the prescriptions and symptoms sound hopeful. Keeping fingers crossed for your testing at the weekend

sasha, totally understand your need to step away for a bit. I couldn't do without this thread but I can see that it can get a bit obsessive (definitely is for me! )

Hugs Snoopy, sometimes we have to go back to taking smaller steps and find patience with ourselves.

Loopy glad you got prescription sorted. Sounds much easier than long trips to hospital!

I had a scan today. 7+5 measuring 15.5mm so good growth from last week. Heart beat seen. I may have been shaking a little with relief after. Was a very straightforward appointment. Didn't get to see my chosen consultant, but their associate. She seemed very nice though, and is happy to follow Coventry treatment. Next scan in 2 weeks.

Fab news jady

Good luck for girlie tomorrow and cloud on Saturday

jady - great news on the scan! x

Thanks Baking, Sun. Keeping everything crossed for positive scans for Girlie and Cloud tomorrow and Sat.

Jady that's great news re your scan. Hope tomorrow's go well for girlie and sun.

Brummie I will definitely be at worcester if I get to actually have a baby at the end of all this, my options were Warwick and Worcester. Warwick let my Dad down with their care of him more than once and a Worcester saved his life more than once and I just feel at ease there. Can't fault the way they have looked after me there so far. Just hope that they will be able to do a v early location scan when I need it! But sadly there will be no midwife led centre for me, I ended up with a cat 1 emcs with ds1 and elcs on ds2.

Am absolutely exhausted this week, boys have afternoon naps still and this week I have crashed out in bed the last 3 afternoons, just can't stay awake, and feel like a zombie when they wake me up, like I could keep sleeping for hours!

Yay jady, that's great news!

Positive sign loopy

I'm a bit late to the party but -CONGRATULATIONS to Brummie So happy for you and really hope this is the one!

Girlie and Sun Good luck tomorrow. Really hope you both get the happy outcomes you deserve. Cloud Good luck on Sat, really hoping all will be well. You've had so much to put up with with all the spotting. I had loads of spotting with my DS, so sometimes it all ends well.

Jady Congratulations! Getting a heartbeat is a massive milestone - your chances of things going right are now 78 percent which are pretty good odds.

Hugs Tiny

Cheesy I'm sorry about the BFN. That's rubbish. How was your holiday?

Tanny have you heard of The Marriage Course? It's run at churches, but if you're not religious don't let that put you off, there is literally no God content. I did it with my DH after the ectopic and the miscarriage before DS was born. We'd just moved as well and everything was getting on top of us. It really helped sort us out.

Minnie I always have to check my DS is still breathing before I go to bed. I think rmc makes us even more worried than the average parent.

Quite a few of you have mentioned morning sickness. I found with my DS sometimes it would come in waves and sometimes it would be a constant travel sick feeling. It was nearly always worse when I was hungry and I also had a lot of wind and heartburn. I only actually puked the once!

Sorry I can't name check everyone. Waves to you all

AFM I'm 5w6 today. I've got an appointment with Mr Shehata tomorrow and a scan to check for a heartbeat on Tuesday. I've had a lot of anxiety but I'm trying to be positive. I've got pregnancy symptoms and no spotting so no cause for concern really. It's just so hard to shake that feeling of dread. This is the seventh time I've been pregnant and I only have one living child. The treatment for Factor V Leiden is going ok but I am finding the injections harder than I thought. My stomach looks like a dartboard and is black and blue. Also the needles seem really blunt, I practically have to stab myself to get it in. They seem about as good as a Bounty pack Oh the joy! However, if this results in a real live take home baby, it'll be worth it a million times over.

Thanks Wadsy anxiety is going through the flipping roof. But the acupuncture has helped calm that down a bit. I felt so sick today I had to buy some sparkling water and crisps on way home

Jady yay!!!!!! Fab news!! Come on little one..

Girlie Sun and Cloud good luck and thinking of you all xx