Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 23 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Just a quick catch up before I sink into the fug of an end-of-half-term and Game of Thrones sesh...

brummie I am still all digits crossed for you. I really hope Sunday brings some definitive answers. I am really sorry that today is an anniversary as well

snoopy I am very sorry you find yourself here. You have experienced a huge amount of loss and physical trauma in a very short space of time. You absolutely need some time off. And, as others have said, you still have many years of family building ahead of you – don’t beat yourself up for when you decided to start trying. As one of the many doctors that I have met in the past year pointed out, whatever the underlying causes of our losses are, they have always been there and we would likely have always had these losses. Agree with brummie that Coventry might be worth a shot.

sasha will be thinking of you Tuesday when you return to work. Being back at work has been the toughest part of the last few months for me and I’m somebody who loves my job! Re hormone imbalance – I have been diagnosed with this from blood tests so have taken matters into my own hands by starting the agnus castus. Obviously it's your choice but from what I’ve read about clomid, it can f**k up the lining so may be worth getting some more advice…

freckle and minnie I love the fact that there’s a Yorkshire posse of us. Think it's funny you might be there at the same time! Re Coventry effects on my cycle, minnie, my af came about 3 days early after spotting on and off for a few days after the appt. Am hoping it’s just affected last month.

girlie am really pleased RESPONSE trial has stepped up to help you.

cat I am a totally failed boob-feeding mamma. Am in total awe of mums who can do it (and who have babies that want to do it) but it completely didn’t work for me and ds!

monten whooooop! Massive congrats for tomorrow. I hope you have a lovely day.

Hugs to the rest of you lovelies. And hope you’ve all got super bank holidays planned. I am soooooo pleased it's the half term break. x

wadsy sorry, x post. Glad scan results looking positive. x

wadsy glad the scan was looking good.

monten ooo happy wedding day for tomorrow. Enjoy every bit!

snoopy sorry you find yourself here but it is the best place for advice and lots of support from a bunch of lovely ladies. Please don't rush back or feel pressurised to get straight back to work. Many of us needed several weeks to get our heads anywhere near being fit for work. And don't worry about trying to keep up with this chatty bunch!

Enjoy the end of half term pop

wadsy yay on bean being the right place. Growing vibes coming your way.

snoopy welcome and sorry you're having such a hard time (alongside a really stressful job). Take time to recover- it really is important to try to get back on an even keel (as much as yo can after this shit!) And like others have said, don't beat yourself up about starting later- lots us wish we could have started at your age! We all start when it's right at the time. Hope the great support here makes you feel a bit more positive (or at least will in the future) and I'd second having a look at going to Coventry too xx

spartacus sorry your news has knocked you back a bit. I don't think there is any good news about MC- baby problem or mum problem all have their own sadness. Hugs hon x

brummie bugger that the test isn't clear either way yet. Hoping for a good line tomorrow.

monten have an absolutely amazing day tomorrow!

girlie I'm happy that the response trial team are being so supportive for you. Nice to have someone step up and help. Still crossing fingers for you though x

pop I'm a failed boob feeder too- totally in awe of anyone who is able to stick at it and enjoy it. And yay half term at last (even report writing can't ruin not having to go in for a week!) Enjoy your wine and G of T marathon lovely. So looking forward to a lie-in tomorrow.

Wish af would just get going here and stopping arsing around- don't know what to count as CD1!!!

Have a lovely happy wedding day Monten. Can't beat a good wedding!

Snoopy welcome to the feed. I'm so sorry you find yourself here and for the losses you've suffered. It's shit and totally unfair. Must be even harder with SIL and work pressures too.

I noticed that you mention IVF and say you can't afford it. Have you checked your local CCG's funding policy for IVF? It varies across the county but I would suggest you look into that before considering paying. However, that said, I can't see that you would need IVF if you are able to convince naturally unless RMC consultant has suggested it? IVF sadly won't prevent a mc. In fact mc is more likely after fertility treatment.

I don't know if this helps or not but there are lots of ladies on this thread who've waited many years for their rainbow babies but got there in the end. Me and my DH lost 3 babies after years of being unable to concieve but I am 34 weeks pregnant now. No one can ever say for certain what the future holds but as you're young and able to conceive naturally I would say statistics are firmly on your side. I am optimistic for you!! XXXX

ooooo MONTEN**!!!!! Ooooooo... Ding dong the sun is gonna shine!!!! I wish i could crash your wedding, I should be a prof wedding guest! Coming from a big Catholic family i spend my life guesting, singing, reading at weddings and i LOVE them! A million BLESDINGS MONTEN!!! Love love love!!!!

Sparticus* - good to hear from you. We've missed you. I'm so so sorry on the painful news my love, i really am. It's never good news though (thinking of you pop*) Answers, no answers, just a different colour of pain.

Snoopy, i have no answers, just comradeship - like brummie I'm three mc in 8 months and one of us is 3 in a year on here. But please, pull up a chair. I am sorry for your pain sweetness. You don't deserve this. It is not your fault. As sasha pointed out, all the odds are in your favour, and if you need holding up on this shit journey - we are here. Am sending you a hug across the ethernet. Xxx

Hah Snoopy not all! I'm just sad that people remember me and then find themselves on this thread!!

Monten whit bloody woo!!! Happy wedding day to you!!!!!!

Baking does this mean little Miss Faith is 1 tomorrow??? ooh double reason for and

Speaking of a Yorkshire posse - me, Loopy and Cat are the Midlands posse - anybody else hailing from the West Midlands / Worcestershire way? Check in here!!!!

So absolutely preparing myself for a negative tomorrow. Had a curry and wine and now watching a weeks worth of Corrie / Stalker and Scandal.

I dream of being as polished as Olivia Pope

Too much to catch up on but just wanted to wish monten a very happy wedding day tomorrow. May it be the start of a wonderful flurry of good luck for you x

Welcome newbies and welcome back spartacus. Sorry you had to hear such a difficult result. I hope once you have processed it that maybe it will lead to some closure, hard though it is to think about.

girlie, big hugs. You're being so strong and brave xxx

wadsy great news, another step forward.
Welcome snoopy, take as much time off as you need. I went back too early and had to leave again, I shouldn't have pushed myself, it didn't help anyone.

monten have an awesome wedding day!!!!

Just popping in quickly as we're up early in the morning to go away for a couple of days, then we come back and fly out to find a few days of sunshine abroad on Monday . I'm guessing by the time I'm back on here I'll be searching around for the next thread!

Have a wonderful and magical wedding day, monten, with lots of love, laughter and happiness xxx

Happy wedding day monten, have a magical day and don't forget to stop now and then, squeeze hubby's hand, look around and drink it in.

spartacus hugs. Hard days. Dip in and out as much as you want, we're here and understand.

cat BF can be hard, I had blocked ducts periodically and a little milk monster, so getting good support is crucial. I visited all the local BF cafes and support groups at various times. For me it was worth persevering, we kept going happily well into toddler-hood (bed times).

brummie sending lots of love in these tricky days. Tests are so frustrating! Fx. Crumbs, imagine the days before tests when you just had to wait and see for months and months, argh!

barking enjoy that sunshine my lovely! You bring sunshine to so many people, now go soak it up!

snoopy I recognise you from another thread too. So sad to find people you know from other threads here (thinking of you MrsDiddly) but also means we aren't alone. I've had three mcs in 7 months, now hitting anniversary of falling pregnant with the first and approaching second due date. Brutal times for us all but we are strong and support each other and I am so sure we will get there. Hugs.

Waves at everyone else, hope you can chill over weekend.

AFM, I started ic opks 3 days ago, and so far they are positive every time. I'm totally confused!! Is my body trying to ovulate but failing, or is it showing some sort of mega ovulation surge, or does it mean there's something wrong?? I'm on CD24, and cycles (from what I can tell between MCs) have ranged from 24 to 36 days. Did a FRER as well on Weds (surely that's a whole new level of crazy ) and it was definitely negative. Any ideas?

Had a read through, busy days, parents staying, sorry to those I miss (as always)

confused and sun am I getting you mixed up? So sorry if I am. Will read back properly tomorrow and try to work out if you are both in difficult limbo after scans x

Spartacus results always seem bring the pain back, whatever they are. I have had chromosomally normal and also abnormal results in the past, and its always hard to bear. I'm really sorry your baby had patau's. I think a diagnosis always feels shocking. Hugs x

snoopy sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here. I agree wholeheartedly with baking, you have a very good chance of taking home a baby. But when times are hard, they are hard. Take the time you need, and keep talking to us on here if it helps x

brummie sorry you are in headfk land - and after you waited to 12dpo too. So unfair. I have to say I agree with longest, and its hard to see from the picture, but lines do start out as shadows..but I don't want to make your mental torture worse. Awaiting your update tomorrow...

march, your posts about the cairn were very moving. I hope you are doing ok x

Tanny thanks, and hope you had a good time at the wedding, cannot believe Bertie is 11 weeks.

baking when is faith one? I think about you and her a lot.

longest get everyone well in your house soon! Not long now...how exciting!

monten, have a lovely lovely day tomorrow, very best wishes from me x

Darn it look at the time..

Have a wonderful day Monten.

Will have a proper catch up with thread tomorrow. This evening have been going back over an old RM thread (I'm neurotic - sure it's hormonal). I wrote down all the posters in first ten pages from a thread from October 2013, and went back and tried to work out how many have had a baby since.

Out of 23, 10 I could tell from their posts have definitely had babies, one at least got to third trimester (and most likely had healthy baby), 2 got to at least second trimester (and likely to have gone full term), and most of the rest I'm not sure about, although some may have had babies but left mumsnet/name changed. Others are still trying, so could still have a positive outcome.

But that's at least approx half having babies in 18 months. And shows that recurrent miscarriage is a pattern which is frequently broken.

Congratulations Monten, have an amazing day? xx

Morning all.

It's a bfn gutted. Sodding progesterone had given me symptoms and I was so sure. I was worried at the time we didn't DTD the enough and I am now dreading it for this cycle.

Poor DP will feel the pressure even more now!!!!! I am going to try the all month approach and as soon as AF finishes try every other day

Hopefully AF won't take too long and we can start again.

Really dreading the post progesterone come down

Monten have a most wonderful day. Lots of love xxxx

Biscuits, I have done similar things myself, and as I was on the thread then, I can confirm even a few more than that probably. Quite a few women dropped off the thread once they were past their danger zone but went on to have healthy babies

Monten have a lovely day missus. I am going to my sil's wedding today, so it is nuptials o'clock!

Brummie, any news? I really want your squinter to be a line...

Gutted for you, Brummie. I think the 'every couple of days' approach' sounds like a good plan. incidentally, two of the times I got pg were after seeing live stand up comedy. I think that having a good laugh loosens you up and gets the endorphins going etc. Maybe worth a go? A DVD would do if you can't get out to see something live. Good luck from the woman who tried everything xx

Brummie, cross posts. Sorry to hear that. Hope your AF arrives in a timely fashion. Big hugs x

brummie so sorry to hear it's a bfn. Is this your first month on progesterone? I didn't really have a come down on it so hopefully you'll be ok. Every other day or every couple of days probably sounds the way to go. Hope your weekends not too bad with sil (sorry if I've got you mixed up).

monten have a wonderful day looks like you've got great weather x

Big hugs Brummie, think you said you had a nice weekend planned, so enjoy.

Tabby, enjoy the wedding & hope Bertie is a good little baby.

Again woken feeling very sick and my tummy is now pretty swollen. How cruel can the body be when I've already been told there's little chance this will end happily ??

monten have a fabulous day!

confused I always seem to get what looks like a positive for 2-3 days and then on the 4th day I suddenly get something even darker. Don't know if that's helpful... I explain it to myself that it's a level of LH already existing (which I think/hope is normal) but then the darker one is the surge.

I had a million billion anxiety dreams last night. Not coping so well with the tww this time, I've got an ongoing naggy anxious feeling, like something isn't right. Bleugh.

brummie that is so rubbish, I'm sorry lovely.

wadsy, meant to say congrats on the scan. First step done.

Big hugs brummie. It totally sucks. . Had so hoped this was your month (As i do everyone). I think the eod plan sounds like a good one so that it takes the pressure off both of you. I honestly don't think you did anything wrong last month though. Timing sounded fine to me so don't beat yourself up. Really hope you're one of the ones who doesn't have a bad time on the come down. I would recommend having some acupuncture to flush out the hormones. Don't know if it was that, or the cathartic trip to see my babies' cairn, but I felt a lot more stable by the day after both. My new favourite saying is "a ship that sails backwards never sees the dawn". Trying to focus on the future and hopefully you can too x

Confu3ed, with ic ov tests, I never really got a dark line, and used other signs to judge it (ewcm etc.). They difference I looked for was whether the line began to develop while the test was still in my hand, as opposed to leaving it on the side for 5 mins and coming back to it. Obviously, don't sit on the loo indefinitely to see if a line develops... This may be a slightly ocd ritual, but there did seem to be some that developed in front of my eyes, and others I only saw when I checked later.

mrsc, how dark is the line compared to the control? Is it as dark or darker? Could you have caught the first surge day? My surge lasts 3 days normally, so could be that, or as flen says, it could just be your base level. It's not like hpt where there is nothing normally. You will probably see a faint line most of the month.

Thanks for the stats biscuits. That is encouraging, and i agree with tanny that a lot fall off when they are doing so well that they don't need the support to get to the end of pg. Hopefully our starts list will help show how successful we eventually are. I'll post them again with our new arrivals at the start of the next thread (soon!)