Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 23 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Oooh, bootles, crossing everything for you that it'll be more conclusive soon. Would a digital test help?

Minnie I have only ever had progesterone since BFP, both for this and the previous pregnancy. It has not been a problem and had nothing to do with my mc, so it is certainly an option. I would bring it up with whoever you are seeing in Coventry.

just Hope you will feel better soon! Your body is trying to deal with the post-birth aftermath, which can be very messy, give yourself time. But I can see that it must be sooo hard for you. Could you ask for a facemask when going to see Scott?

brummie I think you should hold out with testing until Saturday

Thanks ladies. There's definitely a line, just 13dpo is late for me - usually get a shadow day 10. So obviously i wo der if its just off to a bad start off to buy a digital on my break to persuade myself anyway.

march has your dp asked yet re your poas testing? How are you feeling re stopping the progesterone? It was horrible the month I had a bad come down from it, and I understand your fear x

Fantastic news cloud. So happy for you!!! That successful 8 week scan is a huge milestone and it means you have a very good chance.

Hello confused you've been through such a lot, my heart goes out to you. I really hope the spotting isn't sign of a mc, take heart that spotting isn't always a sign. I had spotting early into my current pregnancy but am now 33 weeks and things seem to be going well. Hope you can get a scan and some answers soon. Not knowing is the worst.

Lovely Just sorry to hear you're feeling run down. Your body's been through a lot so it's no wonder. Hope you're on the mend and having cuddles soon. Fingers crossed you little bambino will be home and things will settle down very soon.

minnie I only ever managed to get a bfp by using progesterone from 7dpo. I couldn't get one without it and when I took a weaker dose I just mc'd. I think the theory is that good levels of progesterone from earlier on help with implantation and thus reduce risk of mc. To my knowledge there aren't any risks as such but they will make most of us feel more hormonal than usual.

Bootles well well well! I am quietly excited for you. A line is a line and it means you are pregnant. Keeping everything crossed for you!!!

We'll be waiting to hear your test results brummie and cheese. I have never allowed myself to test before 12dpo as I think a false negative would mess with my head too much.

Bootles, whispered congratulations.

Thanks for all your kind words. I got the OK for a snuggle (lovely ). I may be becoming ocd about hand washing.... but its worth it. He's much more responsive to us today, hopefully get him home in a week or so, just as soon as he gets the hang of feeding.

Minnie, I agree that you should discuss your progesterone concerns with them at Coventry tomorrow. Get their rationale, then make an informed decision. Remember, better a little longer wait for a bfp that sticks than a succession of more early MCs. Good luck. xx

Feeling totally shite bootles. Dh saw me crying, looked confused and asked why (ffs!), although was nice to get a cuddle when I explained. But then in the evening I said that I wanted us to plan a w/e away to have something to look forward to and take my mind off things. His reaction was that going away wasn't going to fix this (does he not think I know that? I'm not trying to 'fix' it, I'm trying to forget it for a few days) and then went on to say that we could do some things at the weekends if I wanted, but maybe it was best if we didn't go away because If I was feeling upset when we went it'd be better if we were at home. Completely missed the point. He just has no clue how I'm feeling however much I try to explain. I know a lot of this emotion is the hormones speaking but I feel like I'm living with a stranger sometimes. I hate what this is doing to us and I'm dreading going through this again next month.
Oh, and to top it off, realised that ov falls in the middle of the only 3 days when I'm away on my own next month, so it's not looking good.
Sorry for the rant. Progesterone crash. Seriously considering not taking it until bfp next month

march sorry you are feeling so low. Grrr to your dh just not getting it. In my experience, they really don't understand. Rmc does put such a huge strain on relationships doesn't it. My dp is frankly useless at the whole thing, and if I get emotional it appears to totally halt any thought processes he has and he doesn't generally respond well until I calm down. It does sound like a weekend away would do you both good..would it make any difference if you presented him with a place and price etc? I hope the hormones sort themselves out soon. Also I think it's ok to remember we are all in an emotional, shite situation so its entirely normal to have meltdowns.
Re next month, my last pg was conceived by dtd 4 days before O, - I didn't think I had a chance. So if you dtd in the days before you go away you are still in with a chance.
Hope your dp changes his mind, and you are doing something nice for the rest of the day x

cloud that must have been amazing!!! . Excellent news!!

Minnie I think I've said this before so sorry if I'm repeating myself, but progesterone is prescribed from insemination/embryo transfer with IUI/IVF, so essentially the equivalent of a day past ovuation onwards. There's no way they'd be doing that if it stopped women getting pg!! It's prescribed to support the womb lining.

just still thinking about you a lot and hoping your little family is all together at home soon

bootles it's all like torture isn't it? Hope it turns into more definite good news you can sahre with dh (I didn't share my early squinter with my dh when I got the iui bfp, I waited until it was clear!) If you implanted later it would show later, it's not necessarily anything to worry about (easy for me to say)

march I'm sorry you and dh seem to be on different pages, it's so frustrating sometimes. Could you book a weekend away with a friend instead?
I'm with you on the progesterone front, once we've had the biopsy and we're allowed to ttc again I'm tempted to try it (got some left over from the iui/ivf cycles) but I worry about my mood coming off it, I've felt completely out of control of my emotions all three occasions, but in my case stopping it has been after a bad scan or after failed iui/ivf so there's a lot more going on there than a 'normal' bfn so perhaps on a monthly basis when my hopes aren't high anyway it might not be so much of a crash? I guess there's only one way I'm going to know!

I got baby bombed in the park when walking the dog by the friend I've been avoiding since she gave birth a week after my last due date . I managed to give her a hug and put a hand into the pram without totally bursting into tears (just the wet eyes...) What annoyed me though, was that I told her to call in on her way back home to get the cardigan my Grandma had knitted for the baby, and when I handed it to her she just took it from me and put it in the pram. She didn't even look at it! I'm probably overreacting here, but it took a lot for me to give her that cardigan - my Grandma knits the most beautiful baby cardigans but she's now well into her 80s. My fear is that by the time I make her a great grandma (if it ever happens) it'll be too late for her to make any cardigans for my baby. So every time she posts me one for one of my friends I want to keep it safe for my baby. So to give this one away and have no acknowledgement at all - not even a look at it - was very difficult. I even tried to prompt some engagement by telling her the size she'd knitted and saying I hoped it would fit, and mentioning that there was a matching hat. Nothing.
Just needed to let that out...

bootles hurray! Please don't worry about it being late. I didn't get any line at all until 5 days after af was due with dd (headfuck or what). Do you have the heparin etc to take? Everything crossed!

barking your post made me want to cry. People just take everything for granted don't they? Could your grandma make you your own special cardigan as a talisman of hope?

girlie I keep thinking of you. Is Wednesday your next scan?

bubbly how about you? Are you bearing up lovely?

march grr. Book your weekend and don't take no for an answer.

Bah, still feel rubbish. Had friends over for lunch. Survived but have crashed again now. Think dd is going to have to watch telly until bedtime!

Barking
Massive hugs xxxx

That's so hard barking. I really hope you get a chance to have your lovely knitted baby clothes too xx

Barking, how heartbreaking. xx

Awwwww Barking, it was rather rude of your friend to not say a big thanks. Could you ask your gran to knit one of her beautiful cardigans in a neutral colour for you to put away somewhere safe? It may bring good luck!!!

March big hugs. My DH does his best but doesn't really get it. Maybe just go ahead and book that weekend away and tell him you want some time away from the rat race with him.

Barking, that is just so rude from your friend and very upsetting. Feeling very annoyed for you x

March- blah to dh when they're being useless. I've had to growl at dh a few times today cause he's hungover and has no patience for dd (who is being a madam this weekend) and expecting me to deal with everything.

Just, glad to hear you got cuddles today. If you're expecting to take Scott home soon, sounds like the doctors must be happy with his progress.

Yep, wed is next scan and will be 8wks. Can't come soon enough but also probably mean the end of the dream for now ??

March sorry you feel so crappy and low xx I agree I think a weekend away is a great idea

march grrrrr at DH for not getting it! Of course you know a weekend away won't fix anything but like you've says before it's something to look forward to and if it takes your mind off this whole ttc shit for a couple of days then it's so worth it. I think men just need it spelling out to them sometimes, they can be a bit dim when trying to understand women.

bootles a line is a line! Congratulations! I can understand not telling dp as mine is always sceptical when i show him the first 'line' and doesn't beleive it til it's like the control one.

barking that must have been incredibly hard, good on you for holding it together, showing interest in the baby and handing over your grandmas precious knitting. I also find it rude when people don't bother to look at the present, especially something as special as a handmade gift. It must be extra upsetting to think you may not have your very own knitted outfit. I would definitely ask your grandma to knit you something as I'm sure you will need it at some point in the future. Hugs lovely.

minnie good luck for tomorrow. I hope it's positive for you and helps you look forward more confidently.

brummie good luck with your testing, really hope it's a BFP for you! Think I will test wed and fri (11/13dpo)

bubbly I hope tue goes as well as it can do and your physical recovery is as quick and pain free as possible. Be kind to yourself.

girlie and confusion good luck for your scans on wed. I'll be hoping everything is ok for you both.

just glad you got a cuddle with little Scott, each day is a day closer to bringing him home and you can cuddle him 24/7. I don't think you're being particularly ocd about your cold, I think any mother would be the same with a newborn.

tanny sorry you've had a bad few days, hope things are looking brighter now.

longest not long to go for you now!

Good luck to anyone else with scans or tests coming up.

Hope those of you who are having a bad time following bfns start to feel better soon. (freckle, flen, March and anyone else)

pop I never asked (and may have missed) how your appointment went last week(?) about your daughters results. Obviously if you're not ready to share that's fine but wanted you to know I'd been thinking of you.

Sorry to anyone else I've missed!

I've just had an email back from prof Q saying just to call Kerri and she can organise a prescription for me to collect of needs be! Yey!

Big waves to everyone, I'm off on hol tonight so will be back in just over a week! xxx

Hugs March, DP and I went on a couple of weekends away and initially he was a pain in the arse. But after a couple of semi successful weekends he's actually suggesting the weekends away. Hope he comes round so you can get a much needed break.

Bootles whispered congratulations.

Barking those cardi's sound so lovely, what a beautiful gesture. I hope your friend comes to realise this.

Sending positive vibes your way for Wed Girlie

Glad you got some cuddles Just. A friend of mine had to leave her newborn for 9 nights and I can only imagine how difficult that must be along with those hormones doing a number on you.

Waves to everyone else.

cheesy have a great holiday. Really hope you can relax and enjoy it. Good luck with the testing.

barking I am also annoyed on your behalf. You have behaved impeccably in a very difficult situation, and it must feel like your friend has no empathy at all, either to recognise how hard it was for you even to see her, and also that you were giving her something with alot of meaning. I agree with the others about asking your grandmother to make something - does she know about your losses and iui/ivf? Honestly what is WRONG with people? x

longest I got more progesterone and prednisolone from the gp on friday at the merest hint of a shadow. I'll need to get an early scan before I can start heparin.

In case its not obvious, I meant what is wrong with your friend, Barking, not your lovely Grandmother...

Sorry feel I've missed loads of people. I'm thinking of you Bubbles for Tue, hope you're holding up.

Good luck Minnie tomorrow. I'm sure you'll feel it was worthwhile.

Good luck tww ladies!

Glad you got prescription sorted Cheesy. Isn't it just a lovely relaxing sigh moment when you get an email like that.

Thanks everyone. I've got my list of questions and my ibuprofen ready for tomorrow!

barking I'm so angry and sad on your behalf that someone could be so rude as to not even look at your gift, never mind to understand how hard it must have been for you. What a rude cow! I agree with the others about getting your gran to knit one for you. It's a lovely thing to have ready for your little one. Big hugs hon xx

Whoops pressed post too soon!

bootles congrats on the BFP! So exciting!

just glad you got to have some cuddles.

march sorry you feel so crap and that Dh isn't getting it. Why are men so crap about emotional things? I think they think if they can't physically fix it, it's not worth worrying about (or certainly my Dh is like that!) hope you get something booked. Hugs to you too x

cheesy yay for sorting the prescription and have a fab holiday! Hope you get a holiday BFP!

Good luck for tomorrow minnie. Glad you have some questions and I really hope you feel listened to. Is your oh going too? Hope he is. I felt like it was good for mine to hear the prof, and actually good for him to hear me asking all these questions and discussing the technical stuff, as i don't think he had any appreciation of what was going on in my head with all the research etc

Marchgirl men are sometimes on a different page. they just not in tune with females. My OH is going work on tuesday first while i go into the hospital. He will come pick me up at the end of the day :S. Im fine about it as I'm at my work hospital and i have told one of my friends in case i need anything. Perhaps maybe do something special at home not sure what but maybe a date night romantic or something you both enjoy doing.

barking I'm sorry that you got baby bombed. I can totally understand you wanting a cardigan from your grandma, y don't you just get her to knit one and keep it. I lost my grandad this year. I lived with him till i got married and i really wanted him to meet my children and now he never will. its so sad.

bottles good luck hopefully it gets darker.

thank you for the luck for tuesday i do feel a little anxious but am keen to get it over and done with so i can start exercising and losing some of this fat i have gained :(

Cheesy have a fab fab hols!! At least you and your DH are together for day 11 testing.

I will need cuddles from DP after testing whatever the result so really don't want to do without him