Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Justonemoretime]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

alex sorry I missed replying to you before. Sorry for your losses, and what you have been through. I have had 5 losses, and the last one was on treatment for high uNK cells, so was on pred, heparin, and progesterone. I had hope as it looked fine at 9 weeks but died a few days later. I'm afraid I have no solutions, just offering solidarity. The advice of the consultant is still to keep trying... If you fancy hanging out on here, we can all listen and provide support.

brummie glad you are back on track!
cloud and MrsD glad you got your meds

sebs it is hard to decide what to do, and only you can choose. I would say though, that I had a chromosomal loss, and (a different pg) carried my tfmr to 13 weeks, so sort of assumed my lining would be ok, but still had high NK cells. Re your DS, I am really annoyed on your behalf that they are being so unhelpful and agree with what the others have said. FWIW, my DS has just finished a course of speech and language (just turned 4) and it has changed his speech hugely (it was hard for others to understand him, though I always could) At 2 he exhibited all kinds of bizarre behavour, and he is absolutely fine now. I don't think their reasoning as to why he is 'not normal' is based on anything very much. You sound like you are doing a great job.

barking great that they are open to looking into NK cells for you
monten sorry about your rude consultant. How rubbish.
lady welcome, good news on your bfp, we understand how you are feeling. Deep breaths and one day at a time.

strubidoo I wonder if I can get that on iplayer if not in the midlands - I guess not. Very interesting, and long been a theory of mine that continued lack of sleep has an effect. I never have enough sleep.

jady re scans, an epu nurse and a GP have both told me before 'you know what to say to get a scan' - and encouraged me to do it (com;icated, but the GP couldn't refer me as different borough) as horrible as it is, I have said I have spotting/bleeding before to get in the door.

longest great news that all is looking good
just hope the scan goes ok today

Phew. Sorry for another mammoth catch up!

Thanks all, I know it's probably better to wait for the ACU appt and get it done there. It's just so annoying I didn't do that first. barking at the rude consultant.

I'm waiting to get our marriage licences. Place is FULL of newborn babies with people here to register births. Deep breaths.

You're all so lovely! Thank you! Just ordered a 32 EE which will make me look like Jordan. The model not the country...

Fake it until you make it Monten

Thanks Brummie. Bootles that's what DP said too. Sounds like I have options which is the main thing.

Mood has been low last couple of days, taking offence at smallest thing (getting upset by DP), worrying about everything. Possible sign of low progesterone? Read, reading too much into everything. First pessary up the back door today!

jady the consultant I saw at Southmead was the marvellously named Dr Valentine Akande, and he seemed to be in charge of the RMC clinic.
The Coventry letter was emailed to me with my results about 4 weeks after I went.

Jady

I cannot believe I am about to ask this (oh how my life has changed) but was knocking on the back door quite easy? Did you have to use anything like ky jelly to "assist"

Pre-op assessment was all fine today. I got asked "any coughs or colds" I answered very cheerily "no nothing to report" then fell about coughing in the car park when i got outside

Blimey though, the Alex in Redditch is no Worcester !! I'm such a hospital snob. But hey I got my cancellation and that is all that matters!!!!

Back door is ok brummie. I normally lick the finger that's doing the job beforehand (sorry if tmi!) To help it along.

In any other context March I'd be like "ewww" but that just made me laugh

Aaahhh the innocence of life pre mc these instant no problems up duffers have no idea what joys they are missing out on

Well I don't lick my finger but that's totally cracked me up. I'm afraid I just shove it in. I might lean forward. Yes I do... Just checked! Once you've used them a little while the whole back entrance is a little more greasy anyway... From the wax or whatever they are.

I tried doing my first injection last night and epically failed. But dh it seems has the makings of a professional health care worker. No bruises so far.

Glad the pre op went ok brummie

And well done for surviving the babies monten

March

Bummie I don't use anything, and the back door is totally fine. The suppository is quite slippy anyway, so it's easy to get 'up there'. Great news about your pre-op.

Jady Interesting comment about progesterone influencing mood - I've been feeling very crappy since Monday! But I think this has more to do with work being difficult again...

longest Yay about your growth scan, and fingers crossed for yours just

I still feel numb and very detached. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing... I worry about getting emotionally involved - almost wish I don't, but that's not possible, of course. Might have another counselling session at some point.

Quick update, growth scan looks fine. Baby seems to be at the bigger end of the spectrum, but not outside of normal range. Its a bit rotund, but not worryingly so. Advised to cut down in sugar (but not give up altogether). No glucose tolerance test needed. Shame I have to go back to work, could do with a nap...
Loving the progesterone insertion tips!
Cloud, sorry to hear work being difficult again.

Great news just and longest. Hope blood tests give some answers pop. Hugs to you all xxx

I did use ky this morning, but might try without tonight. Actually got DP to do it which he enjoyed far too much! Still giggling over licking the finger though.

Thanks Baking, that's really really helpful. GP was saying she was happy to refer me wherever I wanted, just let her know where .

Cloud sorry work are being crappy. I am feeling better today, not sure if that's prog kicking in or just meeting up with a good friend for a natter. But would stand to reason that if there's a withdrawal effect when stopping prog that your mood is also affected if you're not producing enough post ov, in my mind anyway.

Definitely worth another counselling session though. I think that detachment and numbness maybe ties in with what Barking said about knowing you need a good cry, but just can't seem to. I'm still rubbish at crying, but these days feel proud of myself if I do cry rather than defaulting to anger all the time.

Glad growth scan is showing all within normal range Just

Good news just and longest

cloud perhaps a counselling session would be good. I'm not sure if your bummie spelling was done on purpose but it did make me laugh :) And just to add to that discussion and found it fine and it got easier the more I did it, a lot less messy than the other way :)

I feel a new nickname coming on bummie! Also make sure you keep your nails well cut or the hand washing is more icky

Surgery just rang me to confirm NHS do not offer 6 week scans and I would have to arrange that privately. I mentioned Dr Valentine Akande and she said they can mention specific names, but may mean delay in getting appointment whereas if you leave blank you'd get earliest appointment. So think I'll have to leave blank so at least I get on their books, what do you ladies think? I'm sure I'm making this more messy than it needs to be!

Jady, glad you're getting your appointment sorted, but I'm sure that the NHS do offer 6 week scans... I have had them at 5 and 6 weeks before now... could it be a local policy? I'd challenge it, esp if you need a location scan to start heparin? x

brummie glad pre-op went ok.

jady I've definitely had an EPU scan at just on 6 weeks (I was bleeding though and they wouldn't do it before then) Don't know if thats nhs wide policy though.

just and longest for good scans.

Loving the prog and back door discussion! at licking finger march but definitely eew at hand washing long nails! And at mrsd checking if you bend over. How MC changes your conversations eh!

pop hope tests are useful and give you some answers. Not knowing is just the most frustrating thing I'm finding.

cloud totally get the detached and numb feeling. It's so hard to be happy when you're expecting the worst all the time. It drives my mum mad that I'm never excited about being pg. Hopefully the next few weeks will whizz by for you. Hope work gets better for you too.

monten hope you've got your wedding certificate sorted and away from the baby/bumps. Seem to have seen them everywhere today too. And single magpies- bad signs all round!

Right I have the funniest story... It's about baby bombs biting you in the arse

A friend of ours found out she was pregnant just after I did for mc number 2, and helpfully told DP their news the week after my 2nd mc and did we want to meet up? (Er no)

We are more friends with her DP than her as she's a bit high maintenance. Anyway I had to unfollow her because I genuinely couldn't cope with her updates. Every fucking second. Then she found out she was having a girl and every single update was about her little princess. (Quote unquote) Pictures of the new outfits she'd bought, the Moses basket which had a pink ruffly polyester canopy (which is vile I might add), a weekly update on how many weeks until she met her little princess.
You get the picture.

Anyway due date has passed so I checked on fb and nothing. And this one would post about going to the loo.

So DP texted his mate..

Turns out little one has arrived. Safe and healthy.

But complete with meat and two veg!!!!!!! The little Princess is actually a boy as the scan was wrong! They are so in shock, they've not announced it or even given the baby a name.

I'm sorry but after the constant gazillion baby bomb updates that were relentless... That dear peeps is what is known as karma!!!!!!

I know I'm a cow, but I found her relentless updates distressing and nearly unfriended her, never mind unfollow.

Oh now I laughed, even DP couldn't contain himself

I'm going to hell

Brummie, that is hilarious!

Haha. That is quite funny. It'll cost them a fortune in wasted pink stuff. That poor baby, he's not going to know what's hit him!

Haha brummie that indeed is karma :)

Brummie that's priceless!!!!

ps never had a problem with the progesterone and the back door, just find the hole with the tip of it and push...

brummie I love it! And I am also really glad to hear that you've been rescheduled, great news.

Loving all the progesterone advice, I will begin mine on Friday so it's perfect timing...

sebs I am a behaviour person! I think loads of people have given you fab advice, and as lots of people have said, my best guess would be that the speech delay coupled with a different (ie. non-home environment) might give rise to anxiety/frustration which could account for throwing the pig (ha!) and the sticking to certain areas. Has he been there long? It might be he is staying in what feels safe while he gets to know it (and therefore might need sensitive and gentle encouragement with someone playing alongside him to help him feel safe enough to explore). I'd go with scheduling in a couple of observations so you can see him in the environment, after all, you know him best so you will be able to get some ideas of what's going on for him. I'd also arrange a meeting with all adults involved so you can share, communicate and collaborate properly (rather than ad hoc end-of-day comments). Do PM me if you want to ask anything in particular.