Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Justonemoretime]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

little bear get the meds! Congratulations. That's 2 decent lines

brummie oh my goodness. No word words are gonna take away how rubbish today is. Fingers crossed an appt comes through soon. Can you pester for a cancellation?

barking he sounds really lovely. Hope you're taking him up on the letter for dhs school.

Brummie contact Monica, and see how fast she can rebook you. If you remember I was going to wait for a local slot rather than a GA slot, but about 3 weeks went by without being given a date. I contacted Monica and asked how soon I could have a GA as was fed up waiting for a local one, and she offered me a slot for a week later! So my op was on 30th March, and when I'd first spoken to her 3 weeks previously the first date she could give me was today, just like you. So you might be lucky and get a cancellation slot like I did.

Congrats to little bear. Sorry not got time to name check everyone.

Oh and the light AF has gone very heavy, highly confused seeing as Mr watts said he'd removed my lining. How bloody fast can it grow back during the 2 weeks after ovulation? I thought it mainly grew in the early part of the monthly cycle, clearly I must be clueless!

Definitely a line little! Yay! And if yours looked like that too cloud then that looks good to me. Fingers crossed the spotting settles. I've heard of a lot of people getting some innocent spotting around the time af was due,so hopefully it's nothing more than that or implantation

flen, beautiful words and a lovely cairn. Nice to have something physical and beautiful to think of rather than just painful memories. I hope it gives you a feeling of peace.

brummie, how frustrating!!! Your health is absolutely the most important thing,but doesn't stop it being a total bugger. Hope they manage to squeeze you in soon.

barking, sounds like a really positive appointment and glad to hear they were so supportive of the nk testing and helping get your dh's school to be more reasonable. So you have two more potential chances? That's great. Hopefully they will advise what gives the better chance. Hope it has reignited some hope in you when you are ready to try again x

Am absolutely gutted. Spoken to Monica. Mr Watts had already phoned her.

They were going to offer 18th May but I'm away on business overseas and as this surgery isn't urgent so to speak, I will not be able to cancel the work stuff. So next date is 15th June!!!!!! So basically 8 weeks

I'm gutted and I can't believe it's that long a wait but makes sense with 2 x bank holidays.

What the fuck do I do now. If I wait until 15th June in theory we won't be able to start trying until July.

I had my mc back at New Year. I've waited so long!!!!!!

I don't know what to do

Oh Brummie that sounds like total Sod's law. I'm assuming your business trip couldn't be rescheduled? I think you are going to have to discuss with DP and work out whether you wait it out or just try again with Coventry protocol behind you.

Hi ladies, just back from 2 weeks holiday and an enforced social media break as couldn't get mn, facebook, Google etc in China. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you again for all your support when I started to mc just before leaving. The plane journey wasn't fun, but the worst was over by the time we arrived and we were able to enjoy the holiday.

Had a mammoth catch up on the thread on train this morning but sorry to those of you I miss...

barking - am so sorry hun that this round of ivf didn't work. I was rooting for you while I was away and really annoyed that I couldn't get onto mn to see how you were doing. So glad that you have at least one more cycle and that the appointment today was helpful.

counting - hope you are doing ok and taking good care of yourself lovely.

brummie - that is so shit that the op was cancelled today. Mc just feels like you are waiting around forever doesn't it. Is there any way you can get out of work trip? Surely a scheduled operation would mean you would be entitled to sick leave?

To all you ladies with recent bfps - whispered congratulations and lots of hand holding through these nerve racking days.

And to all the newbies on the thread - really sorry you find yourselves here but welcome. This is a wonderful thread full of amazing ladies.
x

Hi Sun how was China? I hope you enjoyed it, glad you didn't suffer too much.

I'm so upset. No I can't get out of any work trips. They are international. I'm the only one that does them and they are for planned things if that makes sense. They are for reasons and if I don't go. They don't happen. Potentially I've got another international trip on 15th June but it's not planned yet.

I know life trumps work but we all know it doesn't work like that.

I've cried. I don't want to wait. I've told DP I want to try again in May and if it's not a success then we've lost nothing. But he wants to wait. Says it's only a few more weeks.

No, it's trying again in 2 weeks vs trying again in 11 weeks.

Why do people keep saying to you - "it's only a few more weeks?"

I feel this rate like everything is being snatched away from me. I was standing there having signed the fucking consent forms!!!

Absolutely gutted

Totally pants Brummie that it didn't go ahead today. Hope you've done something else to console yourself. I had to wait 7 months before ttc after last MC due to the issues with my referral. It was tough at the time but I'm glad I did it as had plan in place which was some comfort when I got the bfp. Still anxious but know there's nothing more I could have done and I'm in good hands. Only you can decide.

Crosspost Brummie. Totally get why you're frustrated. My only other piece of advice is you have to decide today and perhaps give yourself a few days to get over the disappointment of today, before deciding.

Hi Sun, hope you enjoyed your trip x

Currently booking in with Response team and they've confirmed I'm definitely bfp. Start my trial injections today and then seen each week, with scans every other week. Just a bit scared ??

brummie - you were so right about what an amazing place China is. Absolutely loved it and want to go back!

It's so crap waiting, especially if you feel like I do, that time is running out. Its so hard to know what to do for the best - my RMC consultant took the line that sometimes it just comes down to perseverance and that the best way to maximise chances is by getting pg again. But on the flip side you also want to make sure everything possible has been checked out. What is the op actually looking for? Is it to check for adhesions? x

Brummie that is so pants. I think, honestly, if it were me I would start ttc now. In fact I know I would as that's what I did do in similar circs, though honestly didn't expect to get a bfp first cycle as I never had before, whereas I know you tend to get pregnant quickly.

Brummie that's so crap. Did Monica say she could contact you if any other slots become available at short notice?

It's always hard, but I think if I were you I'd be wanting to try this month too, presumably you will have the NK results through soon from Coventry? And Mr Watts is happy to follow their protocol. Best case scenario, you get a BFP in May and don't need the hysteroscopy. Or you don't get a BFP and have the op anyhow. The only "bad scenario" is if you get a BFP in May which sadly turns into mc4 after the op date? When would you be due to ovulate/ when would your 2ww end? Correct me if I am wrong but presumably coventry would have seen inside your uterus when they did the scratch and biopsy? So they would have seen if you had anything amiss physically? So is the only benefit from you have it with Mr Watts that it would be an extra oomph to boost your lining? But this time you would be on progesterone which also aids the preparation of lining and implantation ? If what I've put is right, then in your shoes I'd be thinking go for it. 11 weeks would feel like a crazy long period of time. No matter how good the man, sometimes they just don't get it.

Loopy that is exactly my feeling.

My thoughts are I want to try next cycle. I'll have my uNK results back by then from Cov (chased Kerri today) I've got the progesterone already plus instructions from Mr W of how to go about getting the heparin.

Today was almost the final tick box - the we can do no more tick box. It was to make sure nothing else wrong.

But Prof B's words are ringing in my ears. Sometimes you just have to get on with it and yes perseverance is the key. And as I've been reminded by both Mr W and Prof B and sadly some of the lovely ladies on here - you can do all this and still I could have mc 4.

And what if I wait until 15th June? I was ready to go to theatre today. I'd signed the bloody consent forms.

How do I know that appt won't be moved? That Mr Watts is ill or something happens? Today was supposed to be my appt and I was so close and it still didn't happen!!!

So I think I've managed to convince DP to play by ear and TTC for May and if it's bfn we won't try next cycle and have our appt.

If it's BFP we've got everything we need.

If it turns into mc 4 well that's the risk we take, and a risk we would've taken had we done today.

Am I doing the right thing? I don't know

I think you are doing the right thing Brummie. We all know time is the enemy and 11 weeks is such a bloody long time to wait.

Only you can decide that brummie, but I think either way you have done tons of things to maximise your chances. You would obviously have all our support whatever you decide x

Such a difficult decision Brummie. I think I would weigh up the worst case of ttc, so if you got bfp but sadly ended in mc, how you would deal with it having not had the op(meaning if the op would have shown something), compared to the potential upside of having the op but the effect of waiting another 11 weeks.

From what you have said so far, it doesn't sound like Mr W (or anyone else) is sure anything will be found with the hysteroscopy, like you say it is a box to be ticked off. And am I right in thinking scans haven't picked anything up so far? (Although I appreciate this doesn't mean the op wouldn't have either)

I think given all the checks you've had done so far and the meds you will be taking next time, it sounds like you're in a pretty good position anyway.

I know what I would be doing but obviously the choice is yours..

(Sorry, this is so badly worded, but hope you get the gist!)

Thanks all. Don't forget this is the 2nd time I've been cancelled on. 3rd time if you include the time I had to cancel Coventry due to messed up cycles.

Seems every time we go forward one step, we go 2 steps back. If I'd had my original rmc appt on 23rd Feb like I was supposed to, I could be so much further down the line.

I suppose I've come to think that actually an appointment doesn't mean anything. Anything could happen to my appointment date on 15th June. Imagine how devastated I would be if say Mr Watts was ill (it happened beginning of Feb and threw all his clinics into chaos) and my appt got pushed back even further - I bet everyone would say "just crack on" well why can't i do that now? I've got the benefit of a fresh scratch from Cov too

DP isn't particularly happy. He thinks we should wait. Well to be honest I'm sick of things being pushed back through no fault of my own

He's not happy and I need him to be fully on board. Thing is though DP is very considered and analytical and I'm very much "make a decision and do it"

X post brummie.

I'd say I'm very considered and analytical too but I think its different for the woman when we need want a baby so badly. x

Bit of a situation, I need your advice on ladies. Whilst at hospital earlier, I spied my Bil at the hospital, which can only mean he must be there in connection with the next round of IVF as its a women's hospital. My sister is very secretive about her fertility problems (I. Totally understand why) do I say something or just keep it to myself?

Mrs D, no Coventry didn't give me the prescription for Progesterone, I assumed it was because i'd already had one from last pregnancy, but that was to take from BFP. Luckily I have just enough left to take me to end of cycle.

I also feel quite nervous on your behalf for your appointment... Hope it went ok. (I'm a rubbish friend in that respect, still remember the time my oldest friend told me she had cancer and then had to spend the next 15 minutes consoling me - not my finest hour...)

Cloud, crossing everything for you.

Littlebear - LOL!! (And I never say that!!) Reminds me of a leaflet at work called "Up your bum", which said that it's much safer to take heroin rectally than injecting it. That caused much amusement in the office (the title of the leaflet, not the subject in general!) I am still using front door but considering back door... (Even typing this is making me laugh, I am hoping one day to grow out of toilet humour!!)

Jady, yes definitely symptom spotting. Have also bitten off all my nails, Googled 'multifollicular ovaries' and 'oestrogen dominance' to death and literally finished all the biscuits at work - pretty much devoured a big box of M&S extra chocolately on my own. I am an anxiety eater.

(And I still don't really understand what multifollicular ovaries means - Prof B said it was a variation of normal. But I don't know if it can lead to polycystic ovaries in some cases, as insulin resistance can lead to diabetes and fatty liver can lead to cirrhosis of the liver? Or is it a totally different thing? Does anyone else know?)

Brummie, even though I have kids I find a lot of those Facebook posts really annoying. I think a lot of Facebook is just bollocks so people can pretend that their lives are SOOOOO much better than everyone else's. I also think that about couple stuff: "Want to thank my hubby for being the most amazing partner in the world, he spoils me every day" etc. Just tell him then? He's probably sitting right next to you.

Pop, think anger is part of the grieving process. Which probably doesn't help but doesn't mean it's a backwards step.

Meant in the same way that insulin resistance can lead to diabetes etc - is it a step in the same process.

girlie I think i'd be tempted to keep schtum as clearly they are intending to keep it private...but then you know your sister best and would she be more annoyed if she knew you knew but didn't say anything...?

biscuits I completely agree about fb morons, both coupley and family/kids ones alike. They make me want to vom! A friend of mine once put she'd had an amazing holiday but when I spoke to her it wasn't great at all and she wishes they'd done it differently. Another time she put about having a great 1st mothers day and had in fact had a massive row with her MIL so was pretty bad in that respect.

Brummie** i just did an extra lound expletive in my classroom reading your update (empty, don't worry). I am so pissed off for you!!! What would i do? Ttc...

Littlebear** totally obvious no question lines. YIPPEE!!!!

Cloud** i had brown spotting on days my period was due with ds. Implantation bleed is real. Hope bean is sticky xx

Barking** really useful meeting by the sounds of it. Lots to consider. Interesting to note there may be a northern centre for the scratch too..

So, have had my skull splitting headache today, so ov MUST be on way. Skull splitting headache and ov are like rubarb and custard for me...

girlie - think I'd be tempted not to say anything if they are wanting to keep it quiet. Any chance your bil saw you too and is also wondering whether to mention it to you??

On the subject of progesterone 'positioning' - up the bum is the way to go! Far too messy otherwise. Wouldn't have said that a month ago though. Wasn't even convinced I really knew exactly where bum hole was , let alone the thought of shoving something up there. Was a doddle in reality though

Aw brummie no! I'm so sorry. What a pain in the arse! Totally understand your fears over 11 weeks waiting. I'd have to give it a go this month I think, taking into account how you'd deal with the worst case scenario first maybe. Would that be worse or would you find waiting worse? And FB posts are total bollocks (as is Instagram where I'm getting assaulted by baby bumps and announcements left right and centre these days. Had to block one who was exactly as pg as I should be!)

little no squinting there- deffo updiffed! Congrats!!! (cloud too if yours looks like that!)

barking your meeting sounds really useful and really supportive of getting your Dh with you too next time.

girlie I think I'd not mention it unless they did (though that would kill me because I'm useless at keeping my mouth shut!)

freckle if ovs coming up you better get out of the classroom and get cracking! Next BFP maybe?!

sebs I'm wondering that too about going to Coventry. Depends on my Monday appointment outcome but if it's chromasomal I know I'll want to get going (although I'd only be putting it off by a month I think)

Edd wasn't too bad today. The sunshine helped.