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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 08/04/2015 08:39

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
tannyLoo · 17/04/2015 08:51

Sebs, stop it!!! That is tiredness and shock getting to you... Nothing you have done could have contributed to your baby having downs. Yes instances increase with age, but it's still not your fault. If that was the case we should all have given up ages ago!

You will get there, you are still going to do it. You will feel better and more in control. Promise.

Big hugs. Thanks

Jady77 · 17/04/2015 08:52

Bootles sounds like you have other pretty obvious signs of ovulation so like March says probably no need to temp. I'm still rubbish at this ovulating malarkey. But know it's going on around now, when does everyone else stop bd'ing? My temps haven't gone up yet.

Jady77 · 17/04/2015 09:05

Sorry missed last posts of P17. It is shit Sebs, but as others have said there are a lot of positives with this result. It's hard to see them when you've not slept though. This too shall pass as they say. If one day at a time seems too much, do one hour or minute at a time instead.

Marchgirl · 17/04/2015 09:15

Are you still getting positives on the opk jady? Maybe you just have a slow rise bbt like me. If opk are still positive I would keep going (if you can face it!) I usually get 3 days positive opk and day 2 is ov,but that'll vary massively. I think they say 2 days after ov, although chances are quite slim after ov. Hopefully you've done enough already Grin

Frecklefire · 17/04/2015 09:32

I've never done the temp thing, just watched c.m and done ov tests. The whole temp thing just confuses me so i hope it doesn't come to having to use it!
Can i ask a Coventry protocal/progesterone question ladies? I know the plan is take progesterone from day 21, and thats because its 7 days post ovulation. But what if you ovulate on day 18, or even day 21? Should you adjust the start day? My cycle is 32 days, i usually ovulate between day 18 and 21, when should i start taking the progesterone do you think?!

sebsmummy1 · 17/04/2015 09:39

I just received a message from my Sister (who wanted to be kept very much in the loop with regard to what is going on) basically saying she is shocked, assumed they would just say bad luck, can't think of a thing to say and wished me luck in the future Hmm. I'm quite surprised that's all she could come up with but I suppose that's what happens when you try to communicate with someone who has no capacity to understand what has just happened. I feel dirty or something, like people would rather cross the road than talk to me. Fortunately my Mother is amazing, thank god.

Brummiegirl15 · 17/04/2015 10:00

Freckle yes you just adjust the day. Prof B told me to take on day 17 as I tend to ovulate on day 10

That said my cycle seems to be longer this month so I would just add 7 days to whatever day you ovulate.

Sebs huge hugs xxx

Jady77 · 17/04/2015 10:15

I think you might be right March. Just checked my charts again and def looks that way. Just did opk test and line is pretty faint now. I think we can have a rest :) DP felt really pressured at start of week, now he's starting to get a bit too used to this frequency!

Freckle I really wouldn't like to say. I know prof quenby said different places have different theories so some start from ovulation. I don't think much harm would come from day 21, but think I'd wanna check.

Sebs people do find it hard to know what to say. I do. Maybe she just needs to let it sink in before she speaks to you about it properly? My Dad almost stutters when he tries to ask me how it's all going now having put his foot in it in the past.

Marchgirl · 17/04/2015 10:18

Freckle, progesterone is from 7dpo, so if you ov on cd18 you would start prog on cd25 and if you ov on cd21 you would start on cd28 (Sorry, that sounds like I'm teaching you to suck eggs). I think they only say it in terms of cd in case people don't track ov/aren't able to pinpoint ov, but i always think it's easier to say 7dpo as I'm a similarly long cycle so cd21 makes no sense as is basically at ov for me.

CheesyMash · 17/04/2015 10:40

sebs some people aren't that great at talking to us in these situations. And I think it's harder when it's those closest to us as we expect them to be more supportive/understanding.

freckle yes I was told 7dpo too. I ovulate around day16/17 do prof b said use on day 23/24 instead.

sebsmummy1 · 17/04/2015 11:36

Thank you Flowers

I've just had a long talk with Mum and we are going to go out again this afternoon and take my mind off stuff. I know Sis meant no harm but it was like the message you get when your job application is unsuccessful!

Perhaps the whole thing is a bit close to home for her and she recognises she could have been walking in my shoes very easily.

bakingtins · 17/04/2015 12:27

Sending you a hug sebs I think whatever the news was about your lost LO it would be difficult to hear. I was devastated when my MC4 was chromosomally normal, because that meant it was my fault....as women we seem hard wired to take the blame on ourselves. You probably need a bit of time to grieve after hearing that bit of information, but I hope it will help you in the long run to know the reason for the loss. Have a wonderful afternoon with your Mum.

Frecklefire · 17/04/2015 12:31

Thanks everyone on the progesterone/ovulation information - you are superstars! Xxxx

One more question (sorry, i'm always like this) you know on ovulation test strips, is it a bit like a pg test where the line gradually gets darker over days, or is it one day no line, next day line for most people?

Sebs** I'm so sorry you're in such a tough place right now. Re: sister, i think there might not be anything good/comforting/insightful to say to someone in this situation. They're probably fucked whatever they say. It's a situation for which language is just inadequate. HugsFlowers

CheesyMash · 17/04/2015 12:55

sebs hope you have a good afternoon with your mum

freckle for me they get gradually darker, with ovulation showing a line as dark as or darker than the control line. Last time I ov'd, I did one the day after ov had occurred, to make sure it had actually happened and I just got a faint line (which proved it had). Sorry, that's reads a bit Confused but hope you get the gist.

Marchgirl · 17/04/2015 12:56

freckle, if it's the ic ones then I find I get a line that's getting a bit darker the few days before (to the extent you're thinking "is this it?! These are rubbish!") then just as you've given up hope of seeing one that is as dark as they describe, you get a really dark one and feel a bit sheepish for doubting them.
But everyone is different and I've heard people say they are whiter than white the whole month except on ov day when it is just visible and to them, that means positive. It might take a couple of cycles to work it out but I've found them quite good.

Brummiegirl15 · 17/04/2015 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheesyMash · 17/04/2015 14:05

brummie Flowers Just think, in 3 weeks (I'm assuming those 13 days are the next few weeks) you'll have had your hysteroscopy, you'll no longer see pg colleague at work and you'll be ttc again!
I can't say don't be scared about mon coz I'm sure I would be too but I would know deep down that there's nothing to worry about, sounds like you're in good hands. It is the start of your positive journey. X

barkingtreefrog · 17/04/2015 15:16

freckle I'm a line gets darker person if that helps!

brummie take a deep breath. Thanks People forget all about what's going on in the lives of others. To us it's all we think about, to them it doesn't register. Can you wear headphones? Lots of people in my office put headphones on and play music to help them concentrate. Mine go on whenever anyone starts referring to pg colleague or she's in the room....
At work a colleague overheard me this week telling someone the ivf had failed. She said 'oh I hadn't realised it didn't work.' Then when I said I'd found the previous week at work really difficult as I just didn't want to be here, I wanted to be at home with DH as he was struggling too, she looked at me as if about to ask what was wrong with him, then said 'oh, you mean he was upset?'
I didn't reply. I would have completely lost it. Angry Angry Angry

Brummiegirl15 · 17/04/2015 16:03

Thanks peeps. Please don't get me wrong, colleague is lovely and sensitive and I feel bad she can't talk about and I wish I didn't find it so hard. But other people understandably will talk about it, which of course is not her fault!

I think it's because I'm scared about Monday that I'm struggling today Sad

Minnie74 · 17/04/2015 16:21

brummie totally understandable to be scared about Monday (I would be too). Anything different in a hospital kind of way is a bit scary. But you do sound like you're in great hands. Mr Watts sounds like a lovely guy and good at his job too.
And the stress of Monday is bound to rub off on everything else- magnifying things you might be able to handle in other circumstances. Hearing people talk about babies is hard going after mcs and, like barking said, we think about it all the time but for everyone else if you look ok on the outside,you must be ok. It's just all shit to be fair! Hope you get through the next few days ok and then onwards and upwards from Monday!

barking Shock at your colleagues lack of understanding that DH would be upset too! Some people really do live in their own little unempathetic (?) bubble!

tannyLoo · 17/04/2015 16:55

Brummie it's really crappy. I was the pregnant work colleague to my friend who had multiple MCs and failed IVF. It was horrible, even in different offices, so you have my sympathy x

Sebs sorry if I sounded a bit insensitive earlier, I think things can get lost in translation sometimes. When I read it back it seemed to be lacking. I think others have said what I mean much better.Blush

Freckle, I had lines gradually appear on ic sticks most of the time, but once it completely took me by surprise and went from very feint to very dark in a day. I tested a few times a day as it got close to ov, as my really dark line was usually only there briefly and not because I am a poas junkie at all. Oh no.

Brummiegirl15 · 17/04/2015 17:45

Thanks Tanny I do try and see it from her point of view as it must be absolutely horrible for her, but I'm trapped in a selfish circle of pain jealousy and resentment.

I wished I didn't feel like this. It's not me!!! Sad

tannyLoo · 17/04/2015 17:59

It is perfectly understandable, I just wished I could have made it easier for my friend. A positive outcome for her was that she conceived naturally about 7 months later and now has a lovely 18 month old son, and she in turn was lovely with me about my MCs.

tannyLoo · 17/04/2015 18:00

And she was 42 when he was born.

AndCounting · 17/04/2015 20:13

Like bootles I have just caught up on 6 pages in one go. Thank you all for your lovely lovely messages of support.

barking I'm really pleased you got out on your mountain bike again. Thinking of you.

sebs pleased your mum is good support. Enjoy the nurturing effect.

I think you are all f*ing awesome. And I think the world of you all.