Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[Justonemoretime]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

purple only just read back through to your post. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Life can be so cruel xxxx

march I meant to say ..thanks for reassurance re ?annovulatory cycle.

Minnie, march, jady, I also constantly worry about offending people on here, and march I think you put things very nicely about it. Minnie, please don't go anywhere.

barking that is rubbish about your dh's work. God it is so bloody unreasonable! You have been through so much already. I'm sorry things are so horribly hard for you right now, I wish they weren't x

brummie why do people have to say things like that? I'd have thought it's obvious that if you are not going you are probably still finding things hard, and entirely reasonable/normal/expected that this is the case!

tiny hope the scar is on the mend and little alice is settling.

Great news to those who got 1st choice for schools. So did we, and for various reasons it's a huge relief.

Still catching up...

Sasha sorry your scan wasn't what you had hoped. It is awful waiting to see what the outcome will be. Hugs.

longest and march thanks for the previous waves after my absence, hope you are both ok.

counting can I be glad that you have been signed off work? I really hope you are able to regain some normality, and some calm headspace with the gardening, and some time with whoever, or whatever, helps to heal you. Glad you have an appointment to focus on not too far away. As someone else said a while ago, (dont recall who or who it was in relation to - sorry) this difficult time is only a part of your story, its only over when You say it is. Hugs x

boozle bootles march thanks so much for the kind messages. You're right of course that the best thing about this thread is that we all have a place where people understand how we feel. I do worry about upsetting anyone as we all have such rubbish (and obviously different) stories! I'm so grateful for everyone being so lovely and understanding. You've all got me through the last few weeks that's for sure. Xx

See I'm worried because I think I probably would have said something like that to Brummie... Just because I wouldn't want her to think that I'd forgotten about her. But now worrying that my strategy of being direct may have caused offence.
Me and my sister had a huge argument the other night after I told her I'd been to Coventry because I found something she said offensive and she said it was me being over-sensitive. She then added that I always turned myself into the 'victim' so she looked like the 'bad' one and that she didn't know anyone else who would get upset when she told them she didn't know why they'd want any more kids because the two they've got are stressful enough (in a judgemental, you can barely cope now, kind of way - she wasn't trying to make me feel better). Wanted to scream: "BUT NO ONE ELSE YOU KNOW HAS HAD FOUR FUCKING MISCARRIAGES!!!"
So I guess we all have our trigger points... Just hope I'm not triggering too many!

Yep still catching up...

march and cheesy glad to hear Coventry went well.

Right, march, this immune business - this is why I love this thread, (or one reason), there is always stuff to learn.

I didn't post this following my last visit to Coventry as I was slightly confused when thinking about it afterwards, but I had also thought high NK cells were a sign of a heightened immune response. But Prof B had said the whole idea of a lining not being sufficiently selective was a sort of LACK of immunity. You have filled in a gap for me, thank you. I'm not sure how this fits with high NK cells though, but if I am not pg next month, it will be 2 months since seeing him and I am to go back for another scratch, so I will try and clarify.

enlightened, maverick, mrsd, everything crossed they are stcky ones

Am I more or less caught up? Sorry to anyone not mentioned, I'm not going AWOL again, otnerwise I will bore you all senseless again with multip!e posts.

Oh, cloud glad you had a positive consultant meeting, and on Coventry the scratch could help you conceive maybe, and prepare lining? Sorry, sure you have gone through all this already.

Here, DS is obsessed with babies and the human body, and has created a pretend baby brother who is sometimes in my tummy, sometimes not. Gulp.

biscuits that is a very hurtful and rather foolish thing for your sister to say. She must surely know that after all you've been through its the last thing you need her to be saying. Hopefully she'll realise and say sorry, we all get it wrong at times I guess xxxx

Minnie, Biscuits please no one worry about offending and no one leave!!!! We all need this page and that's the great thing. We can be ourselves.

Purple big hugs

I cried tonight. But I'm away for work again, but in an amazing hotel.

Check out my bathroom!!!! :-)

Impressive catch up bootles !

Minnie I really hope you didn't post that in response to my whinge about worrying I'll never be a parent, I hadn't even registered anything you'd said in any way that affected me, you certainly didn't offend me! Everyone has their own story on this thread and I do very occasionally get a little of the talk of dc, but mostly I skip over those bits if I know I'm having a bad day and might be oversensitive . There's not a single one of us who has had an easy ride. I wouldn't pretend to understand how scary it feels to have 4/5 mc and carry on trying, or how it feels to have a later mc, anymore than someone with a dc would know what it feels like to try everything for years but never manage a natural pg and have the fear that actually it may never happen. I have found this thread a wonderful support, so many times it's the people on here who have made comments that have picked me up and kept me going when I've felt incredibly down. I'm actually tearing up now thinking about it .
As boozle said, don't you dare step away from your phone!!!

I think I'll be ok on my own on Monday. I'll just have to make a list as usual and make sure I ask everything on it!

Barking I feel for you

That's crap of your dh's employers

barking brummie where's that kiss emoticon when you need it! I'll make do with and instead x

Random new emoticon alert!!!!

Barking** SCHOOLS ARE WANKERS. That is all.

Catlover, thank you, she did apologise the next day and we generally get on well but my god she can be judgemental about situations she's never been in.
She's said worse things than that but I've always left the room and lost it in private before.
Brummie, your bathroom looks fabulous!
Sebs, glad you've got answers and that it looks positive for the future.

Epic catch up bootles! Sorry for your bfn. Really the only reason to temp is if you don't know what your cycles are doing or if you're massively obsessive like me. If you know for certain when you ov by other methods then there's probably no need. Fx your inner magic all happens this month (stealing your thought jady!)

Sorry to hear your sister is being startlingly insensitive biscuits. So hard when it's someone you are close to. I'm sure she probably never meant it to come out quite that way but it's a massive fail at being supportive

Great bathroom brummie!

Welcome back Bootles x

Sebs, sorry to hear the news on the last MC. At least you have some answers x

Glad to hear everyone got their first choice schools x

Currently awaiting AF to arrive. Had to test everyday for past week for bfp as part of Response trial and so far all negative, so think it's only time.

bootles sorry if your DSs latest choice of play is making you a little , bless him.

minnie Im also terrified of offending anyone, the number of times I have deleted and rewritten posts, then deleted because I can't find the right words. Like barking says, we al have our different stories. So please don't worry and don't go anywhere!

biscuits can't believe she said that!! Glad she's apologised though.

barking your DHs employers really are pieces of shit!! Bastards!! Very pissed off for you! We'll all be with you in your app. X

For those of you carrying little ones but struggling emotionally, you're so close now, you will get there and it will be magic!

Great news about everyone's 1st school choices.

Arrrgghh, sure I've missed some out, better read back!

brummie I doubt much research on prof Q will be required from you!
boozle is this the same horrid witch that was trying to make you redundant aswell? Hope your Union help you get it sorted.

Also, all those that are just lurking at the mo, hope you're all doing ok x

I posted last week(?) whether anyone would like to meet up (will probably be Leeds), so if you'd like to, could you pm me and I will try and organise a date. Thanks x

Wow this thread really does move like lightening! I normally check throughout the day but if you miss an afternoon and evening then man it's crazy lol. We sure love to talk

I am so knackered after waking at 3am and laying there totally alert with no hope of falling back to sleep. Must have fallen back to sleep a few hours later with my ear plugs in then woke with a start at 6.30am when DS appeared with a clatter. My eyes are that of a mole currently.

It's weird how yesterday I felt ok but today I feel awful. I'm really struggling that my baby was severely disabled. I guess it's a grieving process and it's reignited the grief. I'm pissed off that if the egg hadn't been a piece of shit I'd still be pregnant and that if I was younger my eggs wouldn't be a piece of shit and I'd still be pregnant. Stupid fucking body and stupid fucking time always being against me.

Wish I was closer cheesy, then I'd definitely come along.

Sorry you're having a sad/angry day sebs. You're right. This is totally shit. This whole thing is shit. But it doesn't mean that all your eggs are like that. You do still have a very good chance of a good egg. It's so frustrating to not be in control of this but don't lose hope. You'll never forget your lost little ones but you have to keep hope for the future.

Thanks March I keep think WTF did my body reject fertilisation for eight months and then decide to let an abnormal egg implant? It just makes no sense to me. I can understand the theory of hyper fertility and non selective linings but my lining seems very selective and yet selected a dud egg. I don't understand and yep, it's all totally shit.

We are a chatty bunch!

Barking that is rubbish DH can't come now. My belief has always been that employers had to allow for medical appointments. Whilst a manager I never dreamt of refusing, it was really just a case of whether they should make up the time or not. Sounds massively unfair.

Glad everyone's DC's got first choice in school. Good to learn this stuff for future.

Went to see friend with baby yesterday. Was first time I've been near a baby since before mc1. Teared up a bit on arrival, but was ok. Friend was so lovely and understanding, took her about a year to conceive and of course back then I'd been the friend asking whether she were pregnant yet each time I saw her, ignorant of how all those negative results were affecting her. Gave her the Spanish inquisition on all things baby and pregnancy related. She saw Dr Walker as RUH same as Tanny and had a really positive experience so if I get referred back to consultant I will definitely push to see him rather than the horrid man I've seen so far.

Agree on epic catchup Boozle!