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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 21 - tests, treatment, trying again.

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 08/04/2015 08:39

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
Minnie74 · 15/04/2015 18:44

sebs sorry it was bfn. Probably best to get the tests out of the way (I tell myself too as I try to keep my legs crossed for the next couple of days!)

freckle no way on the chickenpox- poor Ds and you. Not been a very relaxing break!

Hi to any newbies I've not said hi to before. It's a great thread with lovely ladies.

barkingtreefrog · 15/04/2015 18:46

A totally random question - for those who had early mc and didn't know the sex, did you have a strong feeling it was one or the other? I lost my first at only 7 weeks, but I always believed really strongly it was a boy, and when I think of the anniversary of the edd I definitely think it would have been 'his' birthday without considering it. The second time I thought it was definitely a girl. Can't explain why!

longestlurkerever · 15/04/2015 19:04

barking I always think of my lost ones as boys. I have an unscientific theory I can't carry boys - there haven't been any on my mum's side for four generations so they are the sons that will never be.

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 15/04/2015 19:17

Barking, I was convinced my third was a boy, but genetic testing showed it was a girl. I don't think my intuition works... Hmm

OP posts:
Marchgirl · 15/04/2015 19:22

I think it's quite nice to have a feeling about the sex barking (I'm talking gender here, not dtd). I never have had a feeling (wish I had). Dd was 'the shrimp', and was always referred to as an 'it' rather than he or she. The first baby I lost was 'the prawn' but again, an 'it'. When I fell pg again, dh couldn't understand why it wasn't also called the prawn, which really upset me as it confirmed that he never thought of it as a baby. Then came the lobster, the limpet (hoping it would cling on) and the barnacle. The last three I avoided thinking about gender at all in case the worst happened, so we rarely spoke about them when I was pg. I don't even think dh knew what the last two were called. I'm starting to run out of sea creatures that don't sound gross.

So yes, I think it's nice that you had a feeling. I think it helps to remember them as people, whether it's with a gender or name, or whatever although I know that's not everyone's point of view, it's such a personal thing

longestlurkerever · 15/04/2015 19:37

Ha march. Dd was shrimp too! Still is sometimes bit she has mostly graduated to ferret. I have struggled giving this one an identity though lately she is ferret2 or the baby (eek!)
I like your sea names. I hope your next crustacean is the one.

Marchgirl · 15/04/2015 19:48

What a coincidence longest Smile. we still refer to her as that between dh and I.

Minnie74 · 15/04/2015 19:52

barking I always thought mc1 was a girl and then I feel that mc3 was a boy. Don't know why. Might be proved wrong with the last one. I'm so hoping theyre able to tell us. I think it helps to think of them as something, though for some reason I found that easier with mc1 and 3 (which obv I saw anyway). I lost 1 and 2 at the same point but never got attached to 2 for some reason- maybe there never was a baby and some how I knew. I found when I was pg with ds and had got past 20 weeks I really wanted to know his sex so I could think about him as a person if anything went wrong. Each to their own though. And march I love your sea creature names- it's got me thinking of another for you!

ThePopAndCry · 15/04/2015 20:18

freckle a pink sofa?!?!

NotSpartacus · 15/04/2015 20:24

Hello everyone.
Thaks all for the advice. I've spent a lot of the day when I should have been working reading research papers and convincing myself that something is going wrong with the shift between corpus luteum and placenta - but I'm none the wiser as to what! I'm gaining a whole new vocabulary though.

My previous MC wasn't tested I think, although I remember with my second ectopic they said it would go to a lab to check - I think that it was an embryo and not a molar preg?. I have my pre-op on Friday so will ask them about testing then.

Bakingtins I think I remember you from an ante-natal thread, which I dropped off. Not fair we've both ended up in this club (although you do all seem very nice).

I had an email exchange with someone from Dr Shehata's office today, and so am going to book an appointment (6-8weeks time, apparently) and they suggested I get my GP to do some prolactin, thyroid and clotting/auto-immune (sorry, can't remember the word. Thal something) tests first. I hope my Gp is helpful about this. I know my uterus is ok (subject to this MC) as I had a hysteroscopy last summer, and clearly my solitary tube is open, so hopefully we can rule out plumbing problems. Dh does not see the point of investigating. His solution is to make sure I don't get pregnant again, but if for example I had a clotting issue, I think we need to know. Not least because it has other implications.

Sorry to have gone on. I'm afraid I am at that still miscarrying self obsessed phase. I yelled at someone at work today (whoops!). Let's hope I can rein it in before too much longer... Sorry to those of you having a hard time. I know it can be terribly tough, the worst bits for me were the sheer RAGE at it all. I hope that you manage to start feeling better soon.

Brummiegirl15 · 15/04/2015 20:39

Barking massive hugs

Monten it's all about the wedding. Time to concentrate on something nice and happy. How exciting, not long to go!

Sebs I'm so sorry for your BFN but I think this is a good thing. You really want to go to Coventry and this gives you the chance.

Hmm I don't know about the gender. I felt quite strongly about number 2 that it was a girl and I used "the name I'd love but wouldn't be able to really use" which was Tallulah. Grin I don't know it was a girl but it meant I use a name I really love. No idea about 1 & 3, and I really wish I did.

DP and I always said we'd never find out and we'd want a surprise. I'm really changing my mind now. I think I'd want to know so if anything happens I can grieve properly and name my baby. DP feels that is quite negative though...

Hope you are all ok. Had my counselling tonight. Only got 2 more left of my allowance from work and I really do feel it has helped.

mrsdiddlydoo · 15/04/2015 20:54

floweroct I started taking the progesterone on CD 20 of my usually about 27 day cycle and yes I started it before the phone consultation. Did you get an answer about your dose? I don't know I'm afraid. I use 200mg twice a day.

mrsdiddlydoo · 15/04/2015 20:58

I find the name and sex discussion interesting. Particularly like the sea creature theme march. I always thought pregnancy 2 was a girl but don't know the sex for either mc. We had a girls name ready but I don't think we could use it now. Not from using it when pregnant but time has moved on and the moment feels lost. We are different people now.

Monten · 15/04/2015 21:07

Dp called our first one Geoff Hmm

Am so glad you're not going barking. That's too hard. My nephews first is coming up, a month before my edd and I don't think I'll be going. I love him but no.

Frecklefire · 15/04/2015 21:21

Pop** - i dream of a bright cerise velvet sofa. A big, corner, squishy one! I'd make do with 'raspberry', but eye popping cerise would really make me happy. Current sofas have been shredded by cats. Beautiful little wankers that they are (!)

Brummiegirl15 · 15/04/2015 21:26

Monten

Geoff and Tallulah - god bless them and all the sea creatures and other brand

We miss you all

Flowers
Brummiegirl15 · 15/04/2015 21:26

That should've read beans not brand!!

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 15/04/2015 21:29

Barking, had no gut feeling for first three miscarriages and still now try not to think about it because I think I'll drive myself nuts. For the fourth, probably after I saw heartbeat, I started to think of it more of a person, and was convinced it was a boy and testing later confirmed that.

girliesaints · 15/04/2015 21:34

Evening all. Haven't posted much as been manic at work and getting a bit down with all the testing required for the Response trial, which is very alien for me. AF is due in three days and I'm sure it's going to arrive so another month of testing next month.

Welcome to the newbies, we've had a few and I've lost track who I have/ haven't given a shout off to. Hope you find us chatty bunch useful/ sympathetic or just nuts!

Barking- lovely lady, remember it's still all fresh and those that love you will understand

Longest- school admission news for DD tomorrow too. Village school is over subscribed and so are the next door villages, so I'm hoping she gets in.

Waves at everyone else.

Floweroct · 15/04/2015 21:35

barking no I didn't have short lp just really long cycles anything from 42-100+ and the ac took me right down to 30 days.

mrsdiddly thanks no I still haven't heard back from kerri I might just do 400mg a day that's what I've been prescribed before following iui and at my last bfp. Ill see if I hear back tomorrow

brummie glad to hear your counselling is helping

Floweroct · 15/04/2015 21:40

Oh and on gender for my first mc I had a strong feeling it was a girl but not sure if that's cos I was naive and let myself get carried away, for the next two I don't think I let myself think that far! I'm torn on finding out gender, in my naive days I always wanted a surprise but now I'm torn between not finding out so that I still feel slightly removed and don't have so many hopes about what their life would be like but then also wanting to find out to make me feel more positive - I don't know! But right now I would love to be in that position to make a decision

sebsmummy1 · 15/04/2015 22:20

Thanks girls, I know you are right that it's better than I'm not pregnant but I felt like shit today and ended up doing an awful lot of crying. Acupuncturist has concentrated on trying to encourage AF to arrive. My boobs are now sore so I have a feeling she might appear soon. Not sure whether to feel encouraged or dismayed that this cycle is longer. Right now I just feel so bloody desolate, it's awful.

I was standing in Tesco this afternoon, staring at some onions, thinking how easy it would be to just disappear. I knew my son was safe with my Mum and just for a moment I fantasised about slipping away and making all the pain go away. Of course what I actually did was finish shopping and go and pick him up and go home but just for a moment it was lovely Sad

barkingtreefrog · 15/04/2015 22:20

floweroct I was on 200 twice a day for the iui both times but 400 twice a day for the ivf. On the second iui I asked why 200 not 400 and the consultant said 400 wouldn't make any difference, they only give it for ivf (which in hindsight doesn't make any sense?!)

I am totally with you exactly on the didn't want to know he gender, now not so sure, and for the same reasons. And yes, how lovely it would be to be having that dilemma! Thanks

Just been for a swim. Wow, the 6 week absence was telling... Got some catching up to do.

barkingtreefrog · 15/04/2015 22:22

xpost Sebs for me, just before AF is my most emotional time of the month. And that's even without anything else going on. Hang on in there Thanks.

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 15/04/2015 22:30

Just tried catching up and now forgotten most of who said what, but sorry re bfn sebsmummy.

Another one here waiting for school places tomorrow. Tempted to log on at midnight to see if they are visible then, but not sure if they will be or whether to try and get some sleep and look tomorrow!