Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Well done Brummie & good luck. Keep us updated x

Good effort brummie! Fingers crossed.

I've just read through today's posts and they have made my eyes well up. How much emotion! I don't think I can add any further value to what has been said. Just that I appreciate how open and honest you all can be, and how it helps... All of us...

Oh and did someone mention chickens?!! counting chickens rock. Enuff said. Chicken watching is one of my favourite pastimes. We don't own (yet) but lots of friends do.

Thanks longest for saying we are all brave and inspirational. There's so much pain on here sometimes. I'm a little bit crying for myself and all of us right now.

brummie way to go and way to tempt fate! All the best!

monten I had sworn off mn talk until I found this lifesaving miracle thread. Some of the other threads can be scary, especially if you are feeling vulnerable. (Probably they are too, hence the flouncing) Xx

cloud sounds like a good strategy. Why is it so hard?! All the best.xxx

DH and I visited poultry farm today, where the lovely farmer answered all of our questions. Fortunately we entirely agree that the most important factor in choosing a breed is hairstyle. Followed by temperament&productivity. Thanks for all of your positivity ladies!

Thanks for all your lovely words ladies. I'm truly touched. I have decided not to post it. I do think they want to understand. It's too scary for them to contemplate it. So they get defensive and aggressive. That's my boy's story and I don't want him on their thread.

longest I am firmly pro-choice too - I also had a termination in my early 20s (wrong man, straight out of uni, no house, no job etc) which I do not regret. I struggled for a few years but never regretted it and very rarely think about it now. But I am so grateful, in this instance, that the decision we had to make was very clear cut because of the finality of the diagnosis.

cloud I'm so sorry you had a meltdown - it does sometimes help to get it all out though. Your Dtd action sounds like it was perfectly timed tho! Four days leading up to ov?

Well done brummie I bet that felt good.

countimg chickens sound amazing - very jealous.

Sorry - don't think they want to understand.

Counting, your comment about choosing chickens based on hairstyle, made me laugh out loud. It's what I love about this thread!

Ooo, Brummie, best of luck!!!! I found a job in Ibiza. I think I might just go for it the way I'm feeling right now!!

Those edd dates just creep up don't they, I agree the anticipation can be worse than the day, I was a complete mess the day before my first edd, I remember crying hysterically and Dh saying it wasn't normal and I needed to see a counsellor . The day itself wasn't as bad though. In a couple of weeks it'll be the first anniversary. I would have had a 1 year old. And I'm still not even pg.

I think I'm coming down with a migraine. Been in bed an hour but nothing is shifting this headache, the phone screen is dimmed as far as it will go but it is still hurting my eyes and I feel sick. Probably the stress/crying...

But on the plus side I haven't cried since this morning and am feeling relatively stable! I have you lovely ladies and your wonderful comments to thank for that .
AF has started, so at least I'm not waiting around for that.
And in my third reason to be cheerful, Dh and I are continuing to get through this together, and are stronger than ever. I think he actually found today harder than me as he was at home, so moped around and didn't have a good distraction. Work was tough, but it kept me occupied.

I keep reading people's comments as counting your chickens, rather than counting, your chickens. It's making me laugh all this chicken chat. I also agree that hairstyles (can you call it hairstyles when it's feathers? ) are important

I get really really bad headaches from crying Barking I take nurofen cold & flu when like that as it reduces the inflammation in my face and really helps.

Bit random but really helps.

My heart goes out to both you and Monten today.

Much love to both of you xx

barking I think you have summed up many of the feelings we are all going through. Your post really touched me.

monten that was also an extremely moving post and I think you are right to decide who you share that with and who not to. I feel privileged that you shared it here. Thank you.

sebs I too keep having these random thoughts when I see other mums out and about! I look forward to a time when I'm not trying to guess other women's ages.

cloud I'm also trying to decide when enough is enough but it's a really difficult one. Do you think we'll just wake up one day and just know? I really hope I get to some point when it will all become clear.

And to the rest of you lovely ladies, thank you. I've had a really tough day today and just reading all your lovely comments and thoughts have made me know I'm not alone in this. Xxx

counting I think along with hairstyles, trousers are an important chicken-factor. Don't forget the trousers. I have just planted (or attempted to plant) a wildflower patch in what was my potential chicken patch. But one day, one day....!

brummie well done for applying!

I am also thinking of everyone and touched by the openness of you all. Hugs all round.

I wrote a new blog post the other day in case anyone is interested, it's kind of about that not-having-control stuff: thingsaboutmiscarriage.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/things-about-miscarriage-no-31-helplessness/

We have decided to put our house on the market as we missed out on the house we went to see last week due to not having a buyer. The photographer is coming round this morning! Cue sweeping all our belongings into drawers and hiding piles of paper in cupboards... It feels very scary and we have both checked with the agent a million times about what happens if we change our minds, but I am grateful to be thinking about something other than ttc.

Well I poas a day early and a bfn. Decided I couldn't face work with that wondering 'what if' feeling all day. Plus dsil will be induced today. Have had zero symptoms so no big surprise. Just a big fat middle finger to the universe. I am trying to stay positive but this is now the longest it's taken us to get a bfp. Currently fighting back the 'what's wrong with me' thoughts that keep popping up. And replacing with who wants a Xmas baby anyway (me me me) and at least my Coventry results will be back before the end of next cycle.

Great blog post flen hitting the nail on the head again. Really interesting. I swear to god it's like you are in my mind and we are part of the same person.

I really admire all of you that manage to put into words how I feel about this shit.

Morning Ladies,
New thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2350304-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-21-tests-treatment-trying-again?

flen your blog post is amazing. One of your best and that is saying something. I hope you can move towards depersonalising your horrible experiences and I really hope for bfps for all of you ttc. I am sorry it was a bfn today diddly. Could it be too early or is it a definite no?

I am really hoping Coventry proves a turning point for all of you who have visited or are waiting to.

I am moving towards a place where the rmc feels part of my past rather than part of my present. It's not straightforward though. It still feels like it has left a deep imprint on my soul and I still think about it, and this thread,
and everyone on it, all the time. I don't know if that will change and I struggle both with survivor's guilt and fear that it's not over yet - that my fortunes are tainted somehow and there is more terror and heartache to come. I try and push these feelings down though. Good stuff does happen to me. I mustn't ignore it.

Good luck with the house too flen.

Flen it's the first time I read your blog and it's extremely thought provoking and well written.

I have a skin disorder called Rosacea ( there is a point to this honest!). It came on in my late teens and has stayed unfortunately. It changed me from a very happy, optimistic, ambitious person with loads of friends to someone who earnt their money doing cleaning, living with their parents till I was past 30, hated myself with zero confidence and let all my friends go.

Somehow I pieced together a semblance of a half life in my thirties, met my partner and had DS. I forgave my body. I thought OMG finally you can do something right, you're not the worthless piece of shit I thought you were, and now of course I am right back to the learned helplessness Flen has described. All those dreadful feelings have returned and it's pretty much twice as painful. So yep I get it. I've gone from one condition with no cure and a resulting feeling of no hope to another, really really fucking awful.

Great news on applying for the job brummie, good luck with it.

Sorry you didn't get the house you wanted flen, but great that you are putting yours on the market. Exciting! Great blogs once again ladies.

Sorry about your bfn mrsd. I was upset to not get a bfp first month back trying (always have before) , but I like to think that taking the progesterone from 7dpo stopped my body implanting a bad egg (which is perhaps what it kept doing before), so I took it to be a good sign that it was being more selective. I know this is small comfort when you just want to be pg but you've got to try and take the positives. Still holding out a little bit of hope for you. Was that on frer?

Is anyone near a computer to start a new thread? We're nearly at the end again!

March, already done, link about 5 posts up :)

New thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2350304-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-21-tests-treatment-trying-again? :)

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