Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Wow, just looked up Barking's photo on the desktop site (can't see on my phone) it's AMAZING. Fingers crossed he/she gets very comfy x

Morning ladies, had a bit too much last night.

Does anyone else get ov pains? I notice every month I get an acheyness where my right ovary should be (always the right). Yesterday I had accupuncture and she put a point on my ovaries - oh my God last night the ovary ache was so strong!! I so believe in accupuncture.

Waves to everyone x

barking that is AMAZING! Such a beautiful photo.

Morning lovelies!

Could I ask an opk question please? My mc bleeding stopped a week ago so now I'm waiting for af. I definitely want to go to Coventry so need a reliable method of checking for ov. In the past I've used a CBFM but on mc3 it didn't give a peak day just highs, even though I obviously ovd as I got pg that cycle. There have been other no peak, just high cycles. I just assumed I wasnt ovulating but perhaps it was just missing them too as you have to test in the morning. So should I carry on with it and just count the high days for Coventry (along with ewcm etc) or try something else do you think? Maybe sticks to test in afternoon?
Also which sticks are easy to use, ie don't need to pee in a container as I'll probably be at work?
Thanks!

Minnie-I have OP using the CBFM for that very reason. I know this is a depressing statement, so apologies, but unfortunately it isn't so great for accurately detecting ovulation as you get older. I'm not sure why but suspect it's something to do with hormones being weaker and the machine can't detect the 'jump'. With me I found it was either loads of highs no peak, or I would jump from Low to Peak with no warning.

I used Poundland opks in the main although I was also using a different fertility monitor that was excellent (albeit expensive) which worked on temps.

I am thoroughly thoroughly sad and upset. I am bleeding. Not really a period bleed but more than spotting. I started getting EWCM mixed with blood on Friday and this morning it's turned into dilute free flowing blood. Absolutely no idea what to class it as. Going to have to just see what happens and if it stops. Have no interest in pissing on any sticks at all, be they hpt or opk so for the moment all I know is my hormones are FUCKED and I'm sad.

Then my sister (who can't stop messaging me love her) put her foot in it re. the stored baby clothes I have of hers in the loft. Last year I said to take them back as it wasn't going to happen and she was so so positive that it would and wouldn't hear of taking them back. This morning she messaged me saying she would start to take the clothes back from me now as her pre school can make money out of them per kilo. If ever actions spoke louder than words this is it surely. All hope is now lost, there is no possible happy ending for us. Such a shame and yep in going to be giving all the clothes back whilst I cry my bloody eyes out I'm sure.

All the things my son wore that I thought I would see again. Total bullshit.

*given up using the CBFM for that very reason

minnie I used a combination of OPKs and temping and knowing roughly when I ovulated on previous cycles due to temping. I called Kerri when I got some result on the OPK (which was then confirmed by temp rise a few days later). Hope that's helpful...

Sebs if you want to hang on to the clothes then you bloody well hang on to them.
I'm afraid your sister will have to do without for the moment.

You do whatever you need to do. Yes your hormones are probably fucked. For the moment.

I've had some dark times when I couldn't see past my knackered hormones. 24 days to 37 for example and these fantastic amazing ladies kept me going.

Now I've been to Coventry, my hystereoscopy is on 20th then we can try again. I never thought I'd get to the point where TTC again was a possibility because I was in limbo.

My point is, the night is always darkest just before the dawn. It will get brighter. You just can't see it yet xx

Minnie I absolutely swear by the clear blue dual hormone. They work like a dream for me but I appreciate they are mega money so if they aren't quite right , it's an expensive way to do it.

Barking I hope you are resting lots so little one is snuggling down and getting comfy

Am currently on way to Cornwall (it's raining!!!) but just popped on to say massive good luck to Loopy for hystereoscopy tomorrow. Mr Watts is fab and will look after you

Tiny did I read your c section is this coming Tuesday??? Exciting!!! Good luck!!!

Waves to everyone else!!!

monten I get ov pains and usually always on the left. Rarely on the right. Odd really. Bodies are weird! Can last from a few hours to a few days.

Minnie the cbdh tests use to work well for me except I would go straight to peak. Since last mc though they just don't seem to work. Get nothing or consecutive flashing Smileys. I've been trying out internet cheapies which get to a nearly positive result. Spoke to Coventry about it before going and they booked me in based on my cycle length and confirmed I had ov that cycle when I had my scan despite no positive opk.

I've been using the ic and found them to be (surprisingly) good. But they are a bit of a faff as you do need a pot. I also temp to confirm, although as I'm a slow riser i don't think that's going to help me for planning Coventry

Good luck for the hysteroscopy loopy

Loopy really good luck. I'll be thinking about you.
Sebs I thought that after MC #2 and my body eventually got its arse in gear and sorted itself out hormone wise. I'm now 26 weeks pregnant. Don't give up hope, I know how despondent it gets though. Sending you a massive hug and hold onto those clothes!
I just heard my heads off sick all next week and was off most of last week too - made me have a little chuckle after the letter of doom!

Minnie I started with the cbfm but given how long I was ttc I started to resent the cost. Opks backed up with temping was reliable enough for me. If you're worried about doing it at work you could aways get some disposable cups, and throw them in the sanitary bin afterwards?

boozle that's remarkably speedy karma .

Sebs tell your sister you're not ready to give her the clothes as you still have reason to believe you'll need them. My hormones took 4 months to settle down post mc2, it's horrible while you're in the middle of the wtf cycles, but it will be over soon, keep looking forwards and putting one foot in front of the other.

brummie enjoy Cornwall .

monten Some months I was aware of ov pain but not others. Weirdly, the longer I was ttc the less I seemed to notice it. I wasn't aware of it pre ttc but I think once I started tracking cycles and was aware of where I was, it was more obvious, I'm sure I'd previously have dismissed it as a random stitch!

Just a quick post, thanks Brummie, Boozle and March. Am getting nervous now, and hoping that they don't find anything wrong tomorrow. Body definitely seems to be gearing up for ovulation, just hoping it can hang on until after tomorrow! Else that's another month and a half before next chance to ttc. Dreading the Tuesday as much as tomorrow, as DH can't take the day off and nursery has closed for Easter holidays, so I won't be able to rest as have to look after the children. My mom knows nothing about the mc's or the hysteroscopy and my Dad is ill so she has enough on her plate already so I can't involve her. Information sheet from the hospital says to rest the day after and not to look after children for 24-48 hours, so I'm really worried about it but there's not much I can do. The childminder who we are using tomorrow has a dentist appointment on the Tuesday and the other 2 childminders are full. So it's down to me.

Barking hope the embryo is getting comfy.

Tiny good luck for Tuesday.

Ps Brummie hope you have a good holiday and thank, everyone keeps telling me he is nice and kind etc.

Sebs mummy, just tell her straight that you are still wanting to ttc and that she is welcome to the clothes when you have finished with them? If she gets funny, then maybe offer to buy them off her? That way the preschool get some money donated and you keep the clothes. I know that's not the point, but if they are technically hers, and she wants them back, and they hold sentimental value to you, then if it were me I'd rather pay her and keep them (and hold a grudge) than hand them over and let someone else buy them and use them and lose those memories.

Thanks for the good luck wishes. I am now getting rather nervous

Hi there all!
Barking - hope you're doing well;-)
Brummiegirl - hope you enjoy your holiday, you deserve it after everything!
Minnie - your boss is a wanker. I suggest leaving a complimentary poo in her desk draw.
Sebs - your sis neeeds to be a bit more sensitive. I have all my ds clothes in the loft, vacum-packed, labelled and ready to go. I won't be getting rid if them until i'm over 45. They keep me happy and arn't bothering anyone. Give the pre-school 20 quid if she's that bothered.

Monten - i also get pain but on my lefy side. Tbh i've never previously needed sticks because my body practically sends me a telegram that i'm ovulating. I get loads of c.m, a cracking headache just before and feel horney (only time i do). It's how i've always managed to get pregnant so easy. Not that it makes a damn bit of difference, i just miscarry more than most would anyway.

sebs oh gosh that was a monumental putting of her foot in it from your sister. How She may well have meant well but I totally understand why it has left you feeling so desolate. I agree with all the suggestions already made - no need for you to give them up yet. I think its an example of peoples empathy dwindling or frankly, just missing. Sorry about the bleeding too, your hormones will right themselves in time. In the meantime, try to look after yourself x

minnie IC done early evening/late afternoon always work for me, and monten since mc 1 I have had O pain, verified by using opk's.

Tiny so close! So exciting!

According to the Response trial nurse, it's a medical fact that some women get pain when they ov. I'm not one of them (always used my handy app to predict when)

Dh is in my bad books as he's decided he wants to wait ttc until after we've had a holiday and if I was to fall pregnant this month (big if) then the due date would be Xmas day. As my passport has expired and would need to be renewed, it will mean another 2/3 month delay to after holiday. I sort of agree but wish he had said earlier- ggrh!

Thanks everyone. Lots to think about on the stick front. No idea when af will turn up though. If mc day was start of last af then it should be tues but that's def not going to happen.

sebs I'm so sorry you feel so down. The idea of peeing on sticks and waiting for periods is so shit. And all that alongside your sister seeming to not support you is just the worst. You really don't have to give the clothes up yet. That's for if and when you feel it- and you may never need to. I totally agree with bootles about people stopping empathising. Be kind to yourself x

mrsdiddly do you automatically get scanned to check for ov do you know?

loopy good luck tomorrow and with trying to put your feet up afterwards.

monten I used to get ov pains but can't say I feel anything anymore -probably another crap side effect of getting older!

tiny two sleeps!

barking good idea with the cups. Hope you're resting up, snuggling in that little blastie!

brummie hope Cornwalll is fab. We're going in summer, can't wait.

sebs sorry you're feeling so low. I agree with the others, tell your sister you're 'not giving up hope that you will still need the clothes' and hopefully that will make Her feel guilty for implying it's not going to happen so she won't put her foot in it again, in future.

loopy sorry you have no one to help with the kids. Are there no friends or other family that could help? Maybe pretend you're not well or something to avoid telling them... Whereabouts are you again?

freckle you make me laugh!

tiny I hope you can relax before the big day. I'm sure it will all be fine. Looking forward to hearing your good news, I'm sure it will lift all our spirits!

girlie hope DH doesnt make you wait longer than you want. Put your foot down if not!

I have ov pains too, in fact I get more crampy with ov than I do my actual period. Does seem to be more left sided than right for some reason. I also get very horny when I'm about to ov...

I'm off to see the gp tomorrow to try and get some more blood tests (thyroid and progesterone) and see what they will do about prescribing heparin! Hope its straight forward!!

Waves to everyone else, sorry those I've missed. Xxx

On the question of ov pain. I also get it. I've had it for years but had no idea what is was until after mc2 when i started to track my cycles. In fact i actually went to the docs several years ago and had testing because i had this unexplained pain. They tested me for pcos but never got to the bottom of what it was. They never even suggested ov pain but now i know it was!

Minnie I think it was more a casual observation than checking if I had ov'ed. That ovary was larger and had more going on! They pointed out a cyst as well which explains a pain I have been feeling.

Thanks ladies, looks like it's pretty common then! march I was exactly the same! I remember I used to get these pains and worry I had a niggling appendix (which my mate had before it turned to appendicitis). Now I know it was ov! I'm getting it on both Sides this month - maybe I might get twins! . That would be amazing.

flower as well as ov pains I get pressure/cramps too. I wish I got loads of ewcm freckle I don't seem to get any anymore. I guess that's another getting older side effect.

tiny can't believe it's so soon! It must be nerve wracking but just try and stay focused on the end result. .

Good luck tomorrow loopy

loopy good luck tomorrow. It does sound a little daunting to be looking after two little ones if they have advised against it for 24-48 hours, but I suppose you will be just about into the 24 hours by Tuesday? This is when I wish we all knew each other in RL and lived nearby - you'd have a load of us ready to step in. Really hope it goes ok - one step at a time, get tomorrow out the way first x

Good luck loopy x