Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Work how long have you been back at work since mc ?

When I first went back I felt really demotivated and wasn't really concentrating (not a massive deal as I'm a receptionist and there are 2 of us) but I've been back 4 weeks now and feel like I'm back to normal ?

Could the dr sign you off for a couple of weeks til you can get your head round things a bit more ?

That's good to know Adventure. Only been back a week although had to take a day off as DS is sick. A lot of stuff has kicked off since my return and I'm being asked to take on more and more responsibility which I think is part of the issue.

mega thank you for your advice, my boss knows what happened and has been really understanding but I think patience will start to wear thin soon and the holes I'm seeing in my work will start showing.

I think I will ask just to maintain the status quo for a few weeks and no extra responsibility etc until next month.

Mega.. Bleeding seems to have slowed down slightly much more like a heavy period now. Managed an afternoon at my parents, and going home to cook a nice homemade meal, feel like I have lived on junk the last few days!

Has your day got any better? How are you feeling now? Xx

Can I jump back in? Going to epu tomorrow to discuss my options. it a week since my Mmc was diagnosed at 9 weeks and baby measuring 7+5 with no heat beat. I'm leaning towards to mva rather than the tablets. I'm a bit frightened of mc naturally and worried that my body won't know what to do. I've not been in labour before even though I have a child, as I had an emergency csection and pre term delivery. Worried that my cervix won't dilate. I suppose if it wasn't a mmc I wouldn't be having these choices and my body would just get on with it so maybe I'm over thinking things but it's all I've done for the past week as my body doesn't seem to want to give this pregnancy up.

Autumn all of what you are feeling is perfectly normal and natural.
In your situation most people tend to overthink things- there's certainly nothing wrong with doing so. You've found yourself in a totally unexpected, traumatic and highly emotional situation, you're bound to keep going over things as you want to make sure that you're making the right decisions. Have you got someone to come with you tomorrow? Would they admit you for the medical management? I think that another advantage of the ERPC is that it all happens away from home.
Thinking of you, take care.
Please feel free to ask any questions or to PM me at any time you need to. Xx

megan sounds like positive steps, so pleased you're feeling able to do all these things. Must be a huge relief to see the light at the end of the tunnel after these endless, awful last few days! I'm a little brighter since DH and DS home thanks, still feel really jetlagged and strange though. Could sleep for a year!

autumn sorry you're going through all this. The waiting is awful isn't it. I had a blighted ovum, discovered at 7+1. Nothing happening for me yet either so will ask for surgical management at my appt next week as it's driving me crazy. Hope you get given the option and support that's best for you.

Feel better for a day off work - hoping to feel strong enough to head back tomorrow... although colleague is off on mat leave so will be tiny baby clothes and baby gifts galore in the office. Not sure I'm up to it but will feel sad not to see her before she leaves. Am I being a wimp??

Worka it depends what your boss is like but I would be honest, explain your situation and ask for reduced hours/time off to get yourself sorted. Otherwise maybe get signed off for a while. Hope you get it sorted. No one needs more stress in their lives during this time.

Fifi that sounds a lovely memory.

probably how was your day?

megan I'm glad today was a better day for you.

autumn I hope it goes well tomorrow and you are clearer after it. Please come back and let us know how it goes.

mega def not a wimp - maybe see how you feel tomorrow? Each day seems different for me with no real reason!

wurka I really struggled with work at first. I felt slightly dizzy most of the time, struggled with concentration/focus etc. I didn't intend to but because I kept being asked to do stuff linked to pregnancy/baby related I had to say because it was really hurting me. I think it was helpful saying something and she has been really supportive - although gave me a rather awkward hug. Its getting better. I wouldn't ask for a demotion you are within your rights to request you go easy for a few weeks. You could say that you are have a medical condition /undergoing treatment /had a 'minor' outpatient procedure which means you need to take it easy for a week or two. If they ask for support most doctors would be able to right you a note that supported this in some way or another.

probably I'm so sorry. I wish we could say no you can't join us, its not right and then make everything all right like a fairy godmother. I wish no one had to join this thread.

Thank you all for the advice and well wishes.

Autumn it's so hard to make a clear decision when so much is going on in your head isn't it. If it's any help I had ERPC (MVA not an option) in similar circumstances and while I was very unsure (and guilty, weirdly) beforehand it was in hindsight absolutely the right decision for me. The thought that I could still be waiting now for things to start happen naturally, two weeks later... Personally I'm not sure I could have coped. I was lucky that I was offered an appointment next day and so didn't have a lot of time to ponder as needed to give an answer quickly. Obviously everyone is different and I think emotionally it's tough regardless but that's my story so far. Xx

Thought I would share my first attempt at cutting a feather. Not sure it's perfect but it's a start and I felt good doing it.

I am just taking each day as it comes. Today is a good day, tomorrow may be different!

I have found natural hard, mainly as I didn't know what to expect. I think/hope I am through the worst now.

I also feel extremely tired, can't wait to get into my bed each night!

worka i went through the very same thing after my mmc. i had a few weeks off and when i went back i had just lost all faith in myself.

my work had been left whilst i was off so upon returning i had to catch up and was getting more and more work piled on me and my head really wasnt in the game at all. i couldnt understand why people couldnt see what i had been through and make allowances for it.

the best thing to do is sit down with someone senior who you trust and explain exactly how you feel. you should then be able to put a plan in place on how to make it easier on yourself.

its only now that i realise i put a brave face on and people couldnt possibly see how much i was hurting. its a shame but i do think you have to put it out there. i had always had a good relationship with my line manager but felt completely let down by her lack of compassion when i returned. i really feel she had no idea what i had been through.

it will get better

That's beautiful Lilliana.

Lilli that's so, so lovely. What will you do with the finished thing?

Megan taking each day as it comes is good advice. My tiredness has been overwhelming - as I haven't started bleeding yet I can't work out if it's an emotional reaction or something physiological going on. Hope tomorrow is good for you too. Step by step.

Thanks. I'm going to frame it in a box frame with it floating at the front so it casts shadows like in the wall.

On the wall

Hi all, a kind person told me this group was here, which had been great to know.

Can I ask those further down the line how long your period took to come after a surgical miscarriage? Mine still hasn't come yet and, having got a little excited last night, the pregnancy test said negative.

Hi Seal

Sorry about your miscarriage.

How long has it been?

Hi seal. Still waiting I'm afraid so no help! How are you?

Seal glad you found us ! But sorry you had to if you know what I mean.

I'm still waiting for mine but I can give you some info on how it's going ! I had ERPC on the 2nd April which I'm taking as cycle day 1. I normally have a 45 day cycle. From using opks I think I ovulated on Monday which was CD26 so if af arrives 2 weeks later that would be CD40 and it's never bang on 45, more like 40-45 so that would work out about right I reckon ?

I don't really think you can calculate the first cycle after mc - you just have to see what happens !

Hope you're coping ok. When was your mc ?

mine was 28 days exactly but lots of ppl on here refer to it as the wtf cycle.

Wishful thinking on my behalf yesterday I think. Bleeding & cramps have come back bad today! Spoke to epu and they have said its normal for this to happen, but to call back if it gets too bad ????

Hope everyone else is having a 'good' day

X

Oh no Megan! It's so relentless...how have you managed so far today? Will you have DP and DD with you over the weekend?

Can I ask how long ladies with natural management had spotting before the heavy bleeding kicked in? Convinced it's going to start for me before I get to my scan on Monday. CM is different today, without giving TMI. Think it might be coming soon.

Went into work today and glad I did but bloody relieved it's the weekend now. The days feel epic, like three days in one. Absolutely shattered.

How are you today Lilli? How is everyone else?

Mega.. It didn't start heavy again until this afternoon, but I didn't feel right from waking up. Managed to go into town and then my parents took dd out for the afternoon! Blessing in disguise I think!
They are both here all weekend.. But have dh parents who will help if needed this weekend.

My spotting started Sunday morning and I started to bleed heavy with painful cramps on the Tuesday lunchtime. Again I had a feeling something wasn't right ??

liliana that is really beautiful.

sealpup I've heard typically 4-6 weeks. I have my fingers crossed for you. We are hoping to try again straightaway and I know that I'll be feeling the same hoping that any delay is sign of a new bfp. It can take a few days for a pregnancy test to be positive especially if you aren't quite sure of your cycle. So really hope that this is the case for you.

Having a tough day today. Don't think the royal baby news is helping and it was meant to be our booking in appointment this morning.