Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

bronze I didn't get a negative on an ic until 1.5 weeks after my natural mc - about 2 weeks after I started bleeding. I have just sent in my urine sample today as the hospital asked and they wouldn't do it earlier as wanted to let enough time pass to get a neg.
I hung on to all sorts of hopes, even that it was twins and one had survived, until I had a scan that confirmed everything. I think that is natural. I'm sorry you're going through this. It will get better I promise.

Thanks for asking bronzemoth - trying to hang on in there and stay positive but in quite a lot of pain now and bleeding a fair amount too.

We went back to the EPU yesterday because of the pain and bleeding - they did another scan which showed no change from Thursday, still an empty sac measuring about 5 weeks. I asked about having the ERPC but frustratingly they won't do it until a scan on Thurs to confirm. I understand why, but how can they not confirm it when it's clearly happening! Just feel like everything is being dragged out and i just want it over :(

Sorry for everyone else who is going through this, i am finding it helpful to get things down in this thread so thank you to everyone who has posted and shared their own heartache here.

Hope everyone is doing ok - sending hugs x

northern that's so so tough. Do you mind me asking the reasons why a scan on Thursday is different in their eyes. Are you at home resting up?

Liliana Thanks for your help. I've had the same thoughts and I've had a scan! It just feels like a bad dream I think I will wake up from up. I'm sure denial is one of the stages of grief.

Sorry about that northern. I think the reason they wait until Thursday is to follow guidelines that are there to prevent misdiagnosed mc. In the past there were instances where doctors were quick to confirm mc but the woman did not feel she could accept it so she went away and waited. Some time later it was found that her pregnancy was actually viable. If she had taken thr doctors advice for immediate surgery she would have ended a viable pg by mistake.
To avoid such accidents the rules are now tighter, such that it seems like they are being over cautious, or waiting on what must be a lost cause. But if it avoids misdiagnosis then it's worth waiting. Best to be cast iron safe sure, than risk a mistake.
I know it's hard to wait. I've been there myself.

bronzemoth it's so they don't mis-diagnose and because without the additional scan all they can say is that it's an early pregnancy. I totally understand why they do it and the doctor was v apologetic, just making it all so much more drawn out.

I'm staying at home and resting - watching an awful lot of dreadful television

I have had some light bleeding since Saturday afternoon when my second blood test confirmed pregnancy was not viable (lost somewhere between 4 and 5 weeks). Am waiting for the proper heavy bleeding, just want to get it out of me now, but today hardly any, it hasn't seemed to get going. Instead I woke up feeling nauseous (which I had not before) and it's lingered all day. Surely I can't be getting morning sickness with hcg of only 40?

Doc says to come in for another blood test on Weds. Really hope that sickness goes tomorrow and I can just treat it all like a period. I am using pads instead of tampons though, seemed safer somehow.

Not sure how to link my other posts but I have had it confirmed today that I have miscarried. Had a scan on the 16th April measured 8weeks 1 day, couldn't see heartbeat. Had to go back today to see any changes etc. however yesterday I started to bleed, well slight spotting, confirmed that I am starting to miscarry naturally. The sac Is starting to collapse inside and I am having some slight pains no more bleeding yet. Heartbroken ??

Megan so sorry you are going through this. There is lots of help on here to get you through and let your feelings out. Have you got someone there to help you ?

Adventure.. My husband is home today with me.. Trying to sort myself out for when my dd gets home from pre-school.. Hoping she will make me smile.. Just wish it would all hurry up and happen now so I can move on ??

Megan I felt the same - I just wanted it to be over. I was going to have to wait 10 days for an ERPC so in the end we paid to go private (ouch !!!!!) but it was totally worth it as I was able to move forwards and not stay in limbo. I hope it happens quickly for you with minimal pain - it does sound like it has started. I'm over 3 weeks on from mine and just starting to think more about trying again than about what could have / should have been and all the plans that had started to form in my mind.

I want it over so we can start again.. We are both ready for another child so this has hit us hard. Also hard is that two of my close friends are pregnant with unplanned pregnancies and I feel so jealous at the moment. Just want to move on from it all. I have been told to call back in 3 days if nothing seems to be progressing x

Hi, can I join? Found we'd lost our bean at 7 week viability scan this morning. Thought I was prepared for the worst but am in bits. I don't think I'll be offered ERPC but am already wondering if it's worth opting for private treatment if the process hasn't started naturally by my rescan next week. Good to hear from reading this thread that it's an option.

Please tell me that this heartbreak will ease up at some point in the future - I know it's very early days but I've never felt so scared and lonely!

i think if you stand your ground you can request an erpc.

i was never offered one which in hindsight was probably a big mistake as i had complications. i wouldnt go through that again.

do your research and stand firm and tell them what you want.

so sorry to all the new ladies having to join thw thread

Mega so sorry you're joing us. We paid to go private and just to warn you it does add up to a lot of money - will be slightly cheaper if it's same hospital you've been at for scans as they can read your notes but I had to have an initial consultation and scan, then the anaesthetic,procedure and hospital room then a follow up consultation and another scan 2 weeks later. It was totally worth it but thought it only fair to warn you as when we researched on internet to find somewhere we read the hospital fee as the total price and that wasn't the case !!

You will feel heartbroken and cry lots but don't feel scared and lonely - we've all been through it and come out the other side - it will get easier but for now let yourself grieve and cry and be sad and angry !!

megan and megaro so sorry that you are here. Its the thread you never want to join, but hope it allows you some space to talk. It's unbelievably tough at first, I literally couldn't speak properly for the first day, would cry hysterically and the sadness felt completely overwhelming. But I've calmed down a lot and have moments now when I start to feel positive we can try again. It will take a while but it will get better.

Thanks bronze ginger and adventure - useful and reassuring. We could really do with saving our money for the next rounds of clomid so I will definitely be seeing whether I can talk them into giving me something - whether that's medical management or surgical - if nothing has happened in the next few days. The idea of waiting and not knowing when it will happen or how bad it will be is really scary. I've told my boss at my day job and she'll let me scoot off if it gets bad but I teach fitness classes in the evenings and dreading something happening then (or being too wiped out to teach for days afterwards).

When doing my research while waiting for my 2nd scan I wanted the surgical option but as my body seems to be doing it naturally i have no choice. What I'm going to go through scares me now have no idea what to expect.. I have had slight spotting and my cramps are getting worse as the day has gone on ??

Sorry if that sounds like a trivial thing to be worried about - my brain is firing off in all sorts of weird directions at the moment!

I'm so sorry megan - hope you have support at home with you right now or somebody close by?

megan I think it varies person to person and on how far you got. Our little bean was 9 weeks. I wish I didn't have to write this but I went from light bleeding to essentially uncontrollable bleeding very quickly. This might not happen to you but probably best to be prepared for the extreme. It was like post-natal bleeding. I went straight to Epu at that point.

megaro hold firm and ask why they won't help you. I'd explain you job as well. Good luck.

i cant really comment as i dont know if what happened to me was normal or a complication.

what i do know is that my mmc was discovered on 6th november. it was 14th december when the final remains were removed from my body via emergency erpc.

that time waiting, hoping, accepting and being afraid of what was to come then going through things that could have been avoided if i was given more information and choice really knocked me for six and made the whole thing a lot worse than it really should have been. i have since had counselling which helped but i still havent really accepted why that was allowed to happen to me.

do your research and ask for whatever you think is best for you. medical management does seem offered as standard, i would insist on completing this in hospital if you choose it so you can be monitored and they can check what you pass.

once you jave accepted what you have lost, the fear of the unknown really is the worst.

you will get passed it though. i am now and if you havent read the full thread i fell pregnant again 6 weeks on from erpc so it can happen.

I have my husband here who is being amazing. I'm expecting it to happen over night I think, I'm just worried my pads aren't going to be enough but I will manage. I have sheets to put on my bed through the night. But reading down I think I may sleep in leggings just to feel secure aswell.

That's fantastic news you are pregnant again! Gives some hope once this horrible experience is over.

My husband has said about booking a nice holiday for us once this is over to give us all something positive to focus on, we are fortunate in the work sense as he runs his own business which can be managed by his business partner and I work for them so I can take as much time as needed off. My parents have offered to help with my daughter when she isn't at preschool which is a massive help as I don't want her to see me upset x

ginger you poor, poor thing. It sounds like a living nightmare. Have you had any explanation from the hospital?

sounds like you have a lot of support thats great.

maybe spend some time looking at holidays to try and focus on something else a little bit, will be great having something to look forward to.

i actually had a wkend away in edinburgh whilsy waiting for it to happen and it was a really welcome distraction.

you should be ok with pads, if it does start and you fill a maternity pad in half an hour / less than an hour then you need to make your way to epu.

i was told that you will get pain and cramping but once everything had passed this will just stop.

when i thought it was happening i stayed on the loo as a friend had suggested this and i'd read on the internet a lot of people find that easier. not sure id recommend it though as you cant really monitor what is going on like that and i think i probably put myself in danger.

if you have any questions please feel free to ask. and thank you. its scary as heck but im 15+3 now and finally starting to relax a little.

ive never really queried it with the hospital tbh. i feel i should but the staff in the hospital,particularly the two times i was admitted were so kind and caring and supportive that i wouldnt really feel right making a complaint.

i dont want to frighten anyone btw i guess i am just sharing this so that people dont end up in the situation i did. do your research and be firm. you need to do what is best for you,your body and your mind.